Hello everyone, it's me again! It's a new dawn, it's a new year, and that can only mean one thing. It's time for me to play some Final Fantasy nonsense for charity! For those of you who followed my activities last year, you may recall I marathoned over thirty hours of Final Fantasy VIII for the Giant Bomb Community Endurance Run. That was a horrible mistake I have apparently not learned from if today is any evidence. This year I will be playing OG Final Fantasy XIII! To add insult to injury, I will be playing Final Fantasy XIII for twelve hours non-stop!
For those of you who know anything about Final Fantasy XIII, you know twelve hours isn't much. Worse, this livestream will be a "blind playthrough." Yup, this is bound to go magnificently! Either way, there is one major issue. My usual strategy of using nameable characters as a donation incentive is critically impaired. There's almost nothing in Final Fantasy XIII you can name. So in comes what I can only describe is my worst idea ever. Behold, the ""
Gino’s List of Minor Annoyances
Chris’ List of Minor Annoyances
1. ZP has to explain in excruciating detail why Taco Bell is bad.
1. Dramatic reading of Final Fantasy IX slash-fiction.
2. Dramatic reading of Final Fantasy XIII fanfiction.
3.The Abyss Stares Back
3. Gino spends ten minutes saying nothing but nice things about Phil Jackson’s run as head executive of the Knicks.
4. ZP eats a salad
4. Final Fantasy Mad Libs
5.Dramatic reading of Jade Empire fanfiction
5. Gino says nothing but nice things about what he witnesses and experiences in Final Fantasy XIII for ten minutes. (sarcasm is encouraged).
6. ZP must say only nice things about vegetables for 10 minutes
6. Gino listens to three tracks, from Corey Feldman's “Angelic 2 the Core” album. ZP considers this the worst album in the history of music. (Gino may be required to mute his game audio for this)
7. ZP has to play a game of “Sacramento Kings player or JRPG Side-character”
7. Gino abbreviates and defends the amount of money he has purchased on Magic the Gather cards in a given year.
8. ZP has to try to justify the existence of given wrestling characters without using “racism” or “xenophobia” as the ultimate explanation.
8. Gino does a dramatic reading of the Wikipedia page for a video game with a ridiculously detailed Wikipedia page.
(Refer to Mega Man ZX.)
9. ZP has to tell a story of one of his food adventures.
9. Gino plays a game of “KOTOR or Mass Effect character.”
10. ZP has to make a bullet-point list of why Communism is the best political philosophy
10. Gino writes and sings a commercial “jingle” for Vienna Sausages.
11. ZP does a table reading of one of Gino’s favorite TV scenes
11. Gino listens to a YouTube playlist of bad video game music. (Gino may be required to mute his game audio for this.)
12. ZP has to stop and play a game of the FF TCG. (Gino may or may not need to use his full attention in order to win handily.)
12. General video game horror fanfiction. Not horror game fanfiction, fanfiction of random video games that happens to be horror.
You will notice many of my table items reference thatpinguino. That is because Gino and I will be playing Final Fantasy XIII simultaneously as a friendly competition. We also have TWO WHEELS! If you pick an annoyance from his table, it will be placed on his wheel. If you select something from my table, it will be placed on my wheel. For those who don't know anything about Gino, he's a New Yorker and basketball enthusiast. He plays Magic the Gathering semi-competitively, and Final Fantasy IX is his all-time favorite game. Outside of gaming, Gino is an environmentally conscious vegetarian who is happily married. He's also Italian.
So how is this going to work? , you can pick an item from my table OR suggest your own annoyance. If the wheel is already full, your selected idea will be put in the "idea bucket." Items in the bucket will be randomly selected after the wheel has been spun. Don't worry; I have a feeling the wheel will be used quite often! you will not only get to select an annoyance, but we will also spin our wheels! Please be aware this is the table of "MINOR Annoyances!" I mean, FUCKING HELL, we are already playing Final Fantasy XIII! Your suggested annoyance should follow these criteria:
- They should NOT force one of the recipients to cease playing their game.
- General stupidity is encouraged. Think of Pat Baer's 404ing It panels!
- They SHOULD cause the opposing stream minor to moderate distress.
- Your suggestions should NOT involve anything emotionally distressing and AVOID any rhetoric not becoming of human decency.
- Racist, homophobic or sexist suggestions will be ignored.
Now before I leave, there's one more donation incentive I'd like to discuss. Last year, two of you took me up on my $100 Vienna Sausage dare. Twice I drank a shot of the juice from a can of Vienna Sausages. Thankfully, I will NOT be doing that this year. In its place, I am instead rewarding whoever has the largest donation on my page with the ability to suggest future entries in my Torture Chamber podcast series. I should mention Blood and Bacon, Bad Rats, and Sakura Clicker are currently on the podcast docket. If you want to use one of those, feel free! This donation incentive only has one rule. Please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don't suggest any of those wretched porno visual novels on Steam! For reference, previous "Torture Chambers" included:
Oh, and before you ask, I'm playing six hours of Mobius Final Fantasy on Friday, and six hours of Final Fantasy X-2: The Last Mission on Sunday. That's a total of twenty-four hours worth of Final Fantasy content! The least you could do is donate to my page!
A $5 Donation - You can "activate" an annoyance from either table or suggest one.
A $10 Donation - Same as the $5 tier, butwe also spin our respective wheels.
My largest donor - Can select the game for the next Torture Chamber podcast.