That is not a real quote, obviously, but it's pretty hilarious how he can just show up and dunk on everything Facebook is doing - on a Facebook platform.
Last year, former Oculus CTO (and current Meta "executive advisor") John Carmack threw down the gauntlet for Meta's near-term metaverse plans. By the 2022 Meta Connect conference, Carmack said last October, he hoped he'd be in his headset, "walking around the [virtual] halls or walking around the stage as my avatar in front of thousands of people getting the feed across multiple platforms."
Carmack's vision didn't come to pass Tuesday, as a jerky and awkward Carmack avatar gave one of his signature, hour-long unscripted talks amid a deserted VR space, broadcast out as plain old 2D video on Facebook.
"Last year I said that I'd be disappointed if we weren't having Connect in Horizon this year," Carmack said by way of introduction. "This here, this isn't really what I meant. Me being an avatar on-screen on a video for you is basically the same thing as [just] being on a video."
Tell us what you really think John!
Throughout his talk, Carmack seemed to reserve the bulk of his grumpiness for one core area of concern: "The basic usability of Quest really does need to get better."
For instance, you currently either need to leave your Quest 2 on and plugged in to download frequent OS and app updates, or sit through a lengthy "update hell" almost every time you pick up the headset. That leads to a lot of VR sessions that are "aborted in frustration," Carmack said (though he hoped that the Quest Pro charging dock could help with this problem in aggregate).
Carmack shared word of internal posts from Meta employees bemoaning a 20-minute, multi-reboot process to get an old headset ready for the Connect presentation that day. He also talked about tales of Quest owners who don't even get their headsets out to show off to houseguests because of the anticipated hassle of setting everything up for a demo.
And once a headset is up and running, Carmack complained about how slow and awkward it is to connect to other people in Meta's metaverse. "Our app startup times are slow, our transitions are glitchy," he said, bluntly. "We need to make it a whole lot better... much, much faster to get into."
Well I'm going to go all-in on this exciting new technology!