See, I was right. You do have an infected wart under your chin. Don't worry, I heard pouring urine over it will clear that up...everyone at the office chipped in.
" I tell you, this potion is guaranteed to work. The blood of one more innocent Gamespot employee and the world will forget that Kane & Lynch ever existed!"
Jeff: Hey Alex, what's up? Alex: Nuthin' much dude, just chillin'. Jeff: Hey look, a jar of something weird. Alex: Oh yeah, how about that. Jeff: Have you ever noticed how its impossible to consciously hold a large knife without looking like a serial killer. Alex: I have actually, although the fact your eyes are half closed is quite un-nerving in itself. Jeff: Oh ok, I will stop shortly. You wanna go watch a movie later? Alex: Ok, sounds good, can we go see Valkarie? Jeff: Isn't that the movie with Tom Hanks in it? Alex: No, Tom Cruise. Jeff: Oh right, yeah ok my bad. That's the one with the good Nazis. Alex:Good Nazi's? What will Hollywood think of next! Jeff: Totally. I'm worried that if I go and watch that film I'm going to regret playing every call of duty game that's ever been made on the offchance I shot one of the good guys center-mass by mistake. Alex: Even Modern Warfare? Jeff: Ok, maybe not modern warfare. There are no Nazi's in there are there? Alex: No, I dont think so. No Nazi's or Zombies. Just terrorists. Jeff: Have you noticed how Zombies are the new Nazis? Alex: Oh yeah, totally! Its so much easier to shoot zombies, you dont have to think about all the orphaned children. Jeff: Exactly, theres such an absense of hatred. Its instinctive to kill Zombies. Alex: Although most zombie games are pretty funny, which is weird considering the context. Jeff: Yeah, unless you are playing some intense Resident Evil game. Alex: Those arent really zombies anymore though. Jeff: What are you talking about, they were made by Umbrella corp.! Alex: Yeah but those guys have big alien bug things that pop out their necks. Also they dont eat each other and are capable of rational thought. Jeff: Yeah I guess. Whats the deal with Resident Evil 5 anyway? Alex: What do you mean? Jeff: Well the dudes in that game have crossbows. I'm no historian but there shouldnt be antique crossbows lying around in Africa. Alex: Hey yeah, I never really thought about that. Zombies mutants with AK47's is a bit unfair though... Jeff: Thats no excuse, its totally inconsistant! Its believable in 4 because they are wandering round in a european castle setting. Even then it gets a little weird towards the end when you have dudes with crossbows mixed with dudes with miniguns. Did they seriously not have some fucking 9.mm's lying around? Alex: Calm down Jeff... Jeff: I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!! Alex: Dude, put that knife away now Jeff: LISTEN, I JUST WANT A REALISTIC ZOMBIE GAME!! Alex: Zombie Mutants. Jeff: WHAT?! Alex: Well we just agreed that they weren't zombies....? Jeff: OH.... yeah, my bad. Alex: Its cool. So, do you want to go and play some Street Fighter? Jeff: Sure, why not. Alex: Oh, and Jeff? Jeff: Yeah? Alex: Put down the knife please.
As the dominatrix fell to her knees and began to work them both over, Alex asked Jeff to hold a knife to his throat and smash a jar of urine over his head to complete the moment.
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