Hello Duders
My life has taken some crazy-wazy twists and turns over the last few years, resulting in a change of profession. I spent 2018 obtaining a government job position and am now waiting for my start date. One of the results of all this topsy-turvy swervy-werviness has been that I have had no gaming console for 2018, and my only ability to take part in my most favorite of pastimes has been with my crappy phone, and my equally crappy laptop, which boasts a very early model i3 chip and 4gb of RAM, a stuck M, B, 0, and 9 buttons and also sometimes just randomly switches itself off.
There is good news though, next week I will be purchasing my friends very decent gaming laptop from him (he got a new PC at Christmas) and will be back in the realm of snazzy vidjer garms with all you fine folks!
All that said, I was not entirely dissuaded from playing games in 2018 and instead of a top ten list, I would like to present, in no particular order, The Games That Saved Me in 2018, also known as the Games That Would Run On My Shitty Laptop in 2018!
SLAY THE SPIRE
I have played an awful lot of this game, and it still kicks my ass. While it suffers from a lack of variation in deck construction in the later stages, this is still a gem and a perfect example of a rogue-lite/like (whatever) that keeps the hooks in.
There has been no other game this year that has given me the level of satisfaction that I got when figuring out the perfect combo of cards and blowing enemies away in a flurry of attacks, or piling up poison on top of them until the bastard sprites self destructed, drowning in green damage text.
The three different available characters offer distinctly different play styles, and the various modifiers obtained through relics and power cards make every run a fresh experience.
Slay the Spire has also been excellently supported when in early access, with guaranteed updates every Friday. If the game is not already out of early access it is definitely going to be in full release mode any day now.
I did run into various issues with the small amount of memory my laptop has, as STS seems to have a small memory issue, possibly a leak, that is still to be fixed. After each run is over, the game takes up a little bit more RAM on restart. Not an issue if you have 8gb or more, but on the diaper dumpster fire that is my laptop, I had to restart the game after every second run and hope that it actually loaded while my laptop desperately tried to re-allocate memory.
Looking forward to a potential expansion, or maybe Slay the Spire 2 - Rogue-lite/like (whatever) Boogaloo.
RIMWORLD
I love village / city management sims, and in my humble opinion, Rimworld is the best one. Not just because it manages to use sweet fuck all memory and computational power, but because is has taken all the finicky nonsense bullshit that I have loved in games like Towns, and Gnomoria, and improved on it immensely.
Rimworld is a sim that rewards the player who learns from their mistakes. After you try a few times and fail, you will slowly begin to get the hang of things. You will learn what things to do and not to do.
For example.... If you have mined out a bunch of corridors into a mountain, said corridors may become infected with burrowing hive insects. The first time this happened to me I simply sealed it off and forgot about it. But then they started to multiply. Then their babies started to chew into the walls of the mountain. Then there were hundreds of insects on my doorstep, a few broken walls away from swarming my base. Then, they did. Everyone died. These days, when I strip mine a mountain, I make sure to leave a trail of traps and turrets behind me to assist in case of a hive insect infestation. Murdering all those damned bugs and making clothes out of their chitinous hides is immensely satisfying.
There are thousands of different events and scenarios that can occur in Rimworld, all controlled by the in game AI manager, which has three different settings; A relaxed experience that encourages base building but still provides challenging events from time to time, a faster paced AI that will intersperse periods of peace with dramatic events to keep you on your toes, and a completely random AI that throws shit at you at any time and in any quantity. All three provide a good time.
The AI of your minions, however, can sometimes be a little lax, but this is an issue that you can largely correct through Rimworld's excellent modding support and community. There are thousands of mods for Rimworld and it has kept the game feeling consistently new and every new base I build has felt unique and in its own special kind of precarious situation.
If you like building sims, this is one of the very best.
DIABLO III
Blizzard have a fantastic history of optimizing their games to run on all kinds of root vegetables, and my particular turnip is no exception. Diablo III still looks good on low video settings, and keeps working and plodding along at a relatively acceptable frame rate, as long as there isn't too much shit kicking off on screen.
For me, Diablo III has taken the place of Destiny when it comes to games-what-you-play-while-listening-to-podcasts-or-watching-youtube-clips-of-GB-on-yer-phone. The Season system has extended its lifespan immensely, offering unique cosmetic and in-game rewards for completing challenges each new season with your chosen class. The seasonal character starts from zero, and at the end of the season is sent to your main account with all equipment and items intact. There are leaderboards, achievements and an always expanding meta game to keep you going. Blizzard make balance changes each season and everything feels toight in a way Diablo III certainly did not feel when it was launched.
I will be purchasing the new Necromancer class for the upcoming Season 16, which I am greatly looking forward to playing. Completing tiers of chalenges within a season awards you with a full starter gear set, and that can be used to play at a higher level and grind out the gear you are aiming for. Diablo is a grindy game, but in the way life is a grindy game. The more you bang your head against something, the more likely things are going to work out. Finding that last piece of essential gear to complete a build is a sexy, fun feeling that can only usually be obtained by eating fish and chips on public transport, or when a fellow human only takes 30 seconds when ahead of you in the ATM queue, and not three hours.
I love Diablo, and I am hopeful that the next installment is not too far away. Despite all the silliness at Blizzcon, I have had great experiences playing online with random Diabloers (that's my phrase if you steal it I will get really really passive aggressive), and have found them to always be available to help out or answer questions in the general chat. There is a surprising amount of depth in Diablo III when it comes to the loot grind, and if you bother trying to understand it, it can be quite exciting.
DEAD CELLS
Dead cells is the best playing game of 2018 and plays surprisingly well with a half working keyboard, a 16.99 logitech laptop mouse, on a laptop that chugs more shit than Cpt. Whitmore Shitchugger of the infamous Halifax Shitchuggers, known for the large quantities of shit that they chug at various shit chugging events across the globe.
I have owned Dead Cells for years now having bought it in early access very early on and, along with Slay the Spire, it has renewed my faith in early access support. It is a fantastic action game that has evolved neatly and smartly and never makes you feel like death is an unfair result of gameplay.
Nailing down a fighting / shooting style and flowing seamlessly around the levels is something every Duder should experience. The movement glides like quick spreading flames and since every animation can be cancelled out of, you are never held back in choosing which direction to roll, jump, double jump, slam, wall run, slide and flip.
With each run your proficiency with the many varied unlock-able weapons and abilities grows until you become a whirling, spiraling death machine, destroying in moments enemies that previously killed you while you were foolishly taking them for granted. Over confidence is indeed a danger in Dead Cells, and accounts for most of my failed runs.
Perfect action in a fully realized rogue lite/like/lick/luke (whatever the fuck) package.
HONORABLE MENTIONZ
Book of Demons - Delightful paper-craft dungeon crawler, well supported and with some unique trappings.
Hearthstone - Somewhat of a shit heap money sink but single player has vastly improved. Note, this was a phone game for me as to play it on PC you apparently need to harness the power of a Dyson sphere.
Civilization V - Runs surprisingly well on low specs, and prob my favourite CIV.
Into the Breach - While this games hook ran a bit dry for me after a while, it is unquestionably brilliant and I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Stardew Valley - While I lacked the gumption to "finish" this game, I briefly fell in love with my sleepy little town. Maybe some day I will check back in and finally find myself a wife.
EPILOGUE
So, that's it from me. I cannot wait to re-join the world of the living at my new job, play some great PC games on my new laptop, and shortly after buy myself a new PS4 pro and a fancy TV for some good ol console gaming.
My current cabbage-masquerading-as-a-computer laptop will find a good home with my young nephew, who will be given full permission to do with it as he sees fit. He is of an age when young boys become curious about PC's and how they work, and it will be a proud moment for me when he accidentally installs his first virus from a CD-KEY torrent.
Happy new year to you all, try not to get into too much trouble, and keep it kickin'.
Log in to comment