The **Official** rules for video games!

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demontium

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#1  Edited By demontium

Here is how it goes, I start the list, and you continue it. 
 
NO SPOILERS IN GAMES. 
 
It can be from any game. Have fun!
 
1. Press 'A' to jump!
2. In any online game, the connection is always to blame.
3. Red dots on the radar are EVIL. Shoot on sight.
4. When doing any sort of video chat, you must appear nude! No exceptions.
5. Hold 'B' to make the text go faster.  
6. The ban hammer has no boundries.  
7. All Nazi's are evil.
8. Your controller is faulty, it was not your fault.  
9. Keys are hidden in chest, and they unlock doors.   
10. Powerups should always be floating and obvious of what they are for.  
11. Games have boundaries, cross them and they will cross you with a weapon called glitch.  
12.  How many times did I tell you, THE CAKE IS A LIE.  
13.  All people playing FPS games online are "fucking kids"
14. Barrel Rolls are Necessary.
15. Down Forward+Punch is a perfect move to spam (prepare to hear hadoken a lot).
16. Hookers are always okay to run over. 
17. If you win, you're either gay, you cheated, or you got lucky.    
18. Tea bagging makes you own.
19. Left trigger is always aim down the sights. 
20. Right trigger is always fire
21. Hold 'A' to charge your lasers.
22. 20XX. Years don't have to make sense.  
23. Grenade Launchers are over powered.   
24. In RPGs enemies will always attack the healer first!  
25. Death is death, No ressurecting on the spot.
26. NES, SNES, and N64 games take a couple tries before they will obey, deal with it.  
27. Health potions are red. Magic potions are Blue.
28. The .SERVER is the overlord of gaming. He knows all.
29. The .SERVER owns the banhammer, be mindful of what you do. 
30. Arranging three or more objects of the same color and shape within close proximity will make them disappear.
31. ONLY use C-C-C-C-Combo Breakers when necessary.  
32. Games are all based on opinion. On the other side, the .SERVER wants everyone to know that Halo 3>CoD 4
 33. The guy with the white hair is evil and wants to destroy the world or God.
34. Things that glow bright red, yellow, or orange should be shot until they explode. 
35. .SERVER changed his mind and thinks that CoD 4>Halo 3
36. Dead bodies always disappear. 
37. There is no such thing as limited continues anymore.   
38. You have 5 - 9 seconds underwater before you loose a life, no exceptions.  
39. If you score a whole bunch of kills with any specific weapon, you aren't skilled with it, you're a "<name of weapon> whore", and should be looked down upon.
40. The .SERVER despises "<name of weapon> whores". 
41. Greneades are a cheap but  totally legitimate way to die. over and over and over.
42. Massive Multiplayer Online games require money, if you cannot provide you cannot play (warning, the quality of an MMO does not reflect the price)
43. No screen-looking.
44. If you are caught Screen-Looking by the .SERVER you will get a banhammer.
45. Scizor is uber, no exceptions
46. Smogon was invaded by terrorists
47. When you lose miserably, spam the top player with obnoxious voice messages followed by a picture of your penis and/or balls.  
48. During the making of gamefaqs there was an error in the name development; something with a q and g.
49. If you have an arrow/indicator to show that you should go THIS way next, you should definitely go THAT way first.  Theres some cool stuff down that way....... 
50. The future sucks.
51. Your mentor is secretly on the other side.
52. Don't pursue Lu Bu. 
53. Its glowing and is therefore vitally important to my life.   
54. Video game scenery never represents real places no matter how close they resemble the real location.
55. If you stay in one place for more than 10 seconds in a FPS you are camping
56. You can not learn to play a  guitar by playing Guitar Hero
57. If the game is made by Tim Schafer it will be awesome
58. If you ever loved a game, chances are Yahtzee Croshaw will hate it
59. If it's from Japan, the cast of X-Play will hate it
60. No matter how fucked up a Metal Gear Solid game's story is you will find it oddly intriguing
61. Each installment of Soul Calibur must have less realistic breast physics
62. Dating sims will not get you a girl friend in real life
63.Somehow silent protagonists seem to have good social lives, go figure.   
64. only the first 5 trees or hay stacks in a field are real - the rest are a painting
65. The oddly dressed male character will always get the girl
66. If someone you loved disappeared, you WILL see them again  
67. Must be rated M for mature in order to guarantee you sell a hefty amount of copies.
68. Explosive barrels are manufactured and distributed at an alarming rate. 
69. Filling in a wall with objects that fit in the slots perfectly will always make a door open. 
70. Use the boost whenever you need to get through.
71. No matter how much porn you draw of a video game character, he/she/it is not real.   
72.  You must ALWAYS run to the RIGHT  
73. Escort-missions always suck.     
74. Looking at an action intensive scene will cause slow down.  
75. Betrayal is sometimes necessary to move along the plot. 
76. Nevermind Street Fighter 3 
77. I have a Wii    
78. It's Red vs. Blue, not Blue vs. Blue 
79. Princess Peach is not to be touched, only saved.
80. Your heart must belong to www.giantbomb.com they need the organs.       
81. 12 year olds love Nazi Zombies, as such, are mentally retarded
82. Jumping in the air is possible. Jumping 2 or 3 times after an initial jump is allowed, but the feat is not reached by most. Jumping 5 or more times is an legend yet to be achieved.
83. You either can't swim at all, or can swim extremely well. 
84. Solid Snake is never too old.    
85. When chasing someone you are either to deplete their visible life bar or chase them until they magically become vulnerable to bullets.
86. Hiding in haystacks, on benches, and in convenient huts is a sure fire way to remain unseen.  
87. The quest tells you what to do and where to go, and you WILL comply. 
88. When you aquire a powerup, you will always need it for the next boss fight. 
89. All your base are belong to us! 
90. Getting laid does not make you less nerdy.
91. Always shoot bosses in their mouths, eyes, or underbellies. ALWAYS.
92. #1 is void. Go play Fallout 3 and Bioshock. 
93. The words "game" and "spot" must NOT be connected.
94. The .SERVER would like everyone to know that speed runs are done by douche bags. 
95. In order to be an RPG you MUST copy something from the Final Fantasy Series.
96. Food is good. 
97. Mojonbo always rules.
98. If at first you don't succeed you are required to try more, and if not then, you are allowed to chuck your controller at a window.                                  

Have fun ; )

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demontium

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#2  Edited By demontium

6. The ban hammer has no boundries.

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#3  Edited By Video_Game_King
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#4  Edited By Vitefish

8-ish?. All Nazi's are evil. (I'm not watching the video.)

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demontium

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#5  Edited By demontium

7. All Nazi's are evil.
8. Your controller is faulty, it was not your fault.
 
I will combine all these at every 10 we get.

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#6  Edited By demontium

9. Keys are hidden in chest, and they unlock doors.

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#7  Edited By n00d13z

10. Powerups should always be floating and obvious of what they are for.
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#8  Edited By Video_Game_King

11. If it moves, SHOOT IT!

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demontium

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#9  Edited By demontium

 
1. Press 'A' to jump!
2. In any online game, the connection is always to blame.
3. Red dots on the radar are EVIL. Shoot on sight.
4. When doing any sort of video chat, you must appear nude! No exceptions.
5. Hold 'B' to make the text go faster.  
 6. The ban hammer has no boundries.  
 7. All Nazi's are evil.
8. Your controller is faulty, it was not your fault.  
 9. Keys are hidden in chest, and they unlock doors.  
10. Powerups should always be floating and obvious of what they are for.  
11. Games have boundaries, cross them and they will cross you with a weapon called glitch.

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#10  Edited By demontium

12. How many times did I tell you, THE CAKE IS A LIE.

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turbomonkey138

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#11  Edited By turbomonkey138
@demontium said:
" 9. Keys are hidden in chest, and they unlock doors. "
How did i know a persona reference would come out of this thread . Oh yea this is ginatbomb
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AgentofChaos

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#12  Edited By AgentofChaos

12. All people playing FPS games online are "fucking kids"

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#13  Edited By turbomonkey138
@AgentofChaos: Define Kids ? Do you mean how they act or the psychical age of the participant ? QUESTIONS!!!!
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#14  Edited By Druminator

13. Tea bagging makes you own.

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#15  Edited By demontium

13.  All people playing FPS games online are "fucking kids"  
 
@turbomonkey138: It was also directed towards Legend of Zelda, but yes it is a Persona reference : )

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#16  Edited By demontium

14. Barrel Rolls are Necessary.
15. Down Forward+Punch is a perfect move to spam (prepare to hear hadoken a lot).

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#17  Edited By n00d13z

16. Hookers are always okay to run over.

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OwnlyUzinWonHan

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#18  Edited By OwnlyUzinWonHan

16. If you win, you're either gay, you cheated, or you got lucky.

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#19  Edited By n00d13z

18. Left trigger is always aim down the sights. 
19. Right trigger is always fire 
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demontium

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#20  Edited By demontium

17. If you win, you're either gay, you cheated, or you got lucky.  
iLoled

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demontium

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#21  Edited By demontium

18. Tea bagging makes you own. 
 
@Druminator: fixed

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Coltonio7

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#22  Edited By Coltonio7

20XX. Years don't have to make sense.

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#23  Edited By fr0br0

#I lost count. Grenade Launchers are over powered.

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demontium

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#24  Edited By demontium

1. Press 'A' to jump!
2. In any online game, the connection is always to blame.
3. Red dots on the radar are EVIL. Shoot on sight.
4. When doing any sort of video chat, you must appear nude! No exceptions.
5. Hold 'B' to make the text go faster.  
6. The ban hammer has no boundries.  
7. All Nazi's are evil.
8. Your controller is faulty, it was not your fault.  
9. Keys are hidden in chest, and they unlock doors.   
10. Powerups should always be floating and obvious of what they are for.  
11. Games have boundaries, cross them and they will cross you with a weapon called glitch.  
12.  How many times did I tell you, THE CAKE IS A LIE.  
13.  All people playing FPS games online are "fucking kids"
14. Barrel Rolls are Necessary.
15. Down Forward+Punch is a perfect move to spam (prepare to hear hadoken a lot).
16. Hookers are always okay to run over. 
17. If you win, you're either gay, you cheated, or you got lucky.    
18. Tea bagging makes you own.
19. Left trigger is always aim down the sights. 
20. Right trigger is always fire
21. Hold 'A' to charge your lasers.     

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#25  Edited By Satune

#something. 
In RPGs enemies will always attack the healer first!
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#26  Edited By n00d13z

#. Death is death, No ressurecting on the spot.
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#27  Edited By demontium

22. 20XX. Years don't have to make sense.  
23. Grenade Launchers are over powered.   
24. In RPGs enemies will always attack the healer first!  
25. Death is death, No ressurecting on the spot. 

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#28  Edited By demontium

26. NES, SNES, and N64 games take a couple tries before they will obey, deal with it.

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#29  Edited By n00d13z

27. Health potions are red. Magic potions are Blue.
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#30  Edited By AgentofChaos
@turbomonkey138 said:
" @AgentofChaos: Define Kids ? Do you mean how they act or the psychical age of the participant ? QUESTIONS!!!! "
Haha, I was more referring to a situation where your getting your ass kicked and you yell at your screen. If you've never yelled this your not old enough.
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#31  Edited By demontium

28. The .SERVER is the overlord of gaming. He knows all.
29. The .SERVER owns the banhammer, be mindful of what you do.

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#32  Edited By TobyD81

-Arranging three or more objects of the same color and shape within close proximity will make them disappear.
-The guy with the white hair is evil and wants to destroy the world or God.
-Things that glow bright red, yellow, or orange should be shot until they explode.

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#33  Edited By demontium

1. Press 'A' to jump!
2. In any online game, the connection is always to blame.
3. Red dots on the radar are EVIL. Shoot on sight.
4. When doing any sort of video chat, you must appear nude! No exceptions.
5. Hold 'B' to make the text go faster.  
6. The ban hammer has no boundries.  
7. All Nazi's are evil.
8. Your controller is faulty, it was not your fault.  
9. Keys are hidden in chest, and they unlock doors.   
10. Powerups should always be floating and obvious of what they are for.  
11. Games have boundaries, cross them and they will cross you with a weapon called glitch.  
12.  How many times did I tell you, THE CAKE IS A LIE.  
13.  All people playing FPS games online are "fucking kids"
14. Barrel Rolls are Necessary.
15. Down Forward+Punch is a perfect move to spam (prepare to hear hadoken a lot).
16. Hookers are always okay to run over. 
17. If you win, you're either gay, you cheated, or you got lucky.    
18. Tea bagging makes you own.
19. Left trigger is always aim down the sights. 
20. Right trigger is always fire
21. Hold 'A' to charge your lasers.
22. 20XX. Years don't have to make sense.  
23. Grenade Launchers are over powered.   
24. In RPGs enemies will always attack the healer first!  
25. Death is death, No ressurecting on the spot.
26. NES, SNES, and N64 games take a couple tries before they will obey, deal with it.  
27. Health potions are red. Magic potions are Blue.
28. The .SERVER is the overlord of gaming. He knows all.
29. The .SERVER owns the banhammer, be mindful of what you do. 
30. Arranging three or more objects of the same color and shape within close proximity will make them disappear.
31. ONLY use C-C-C-C-Combo Breakers when necessary.          

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demontium

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#34  Edited By demontium

32. Games are all based on opinion. On the other side, the .SERVER wants everyone to know that Halo 3>CoD 4

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#35  Edited By n00d13z

.SERVER changed his mind and thinks that CoD 4>Halo 3
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33. Dead bodies always disappear.

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#37  Edited By copycatzen

34. There is no such thing as limited continues anymore.
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#38  Edited By demontium

33. The guy with the white hair is evil and wants to destroy the world or God.
34. Things that glow bright red, yellow, or orange should be shot until they explode. 
35. .SERVER changed his mind and thinks that CoD 4>Halo 3
36. Dead bodies always disappear. 
37. There is no such thing as limited continues anymore.  

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#39  Edited By demontium

38. You have 5 - 9 seconds underwater before you loose a life, no exceptions.

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#40  Edited By Deusoma

39. If you score a whole bunch of kills with any specific weapon, you aren't skilled with it, you're a "<name of weapon> whore", and should be looked down upon.

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#41  Edited By demontium

 1. Press 'A' to jump!
2. In any online game, the connection is always to blame.
3. Red dots on the radar are EVIL. Shoot on sight.
4. When doing any sort of video chat, you must appear nude! No exceptions.
5. Hold 'B' to make the text go faster.  
6. The ban hammer has no boundries.  
7. All Nazi's are evil.
8. Your controller is faulty, it was not your fault.  
9. Keys are hidden in chest, and they unlock doors.   
10. Powerups should always be floating and obvious of what they are for.  
11. Games have boundaries, cross them and they will cross you with a weapon called glitch.  
12.  How many times did I tell you, THE CAKE IS A LIE.  
13.  All people playing FPS games online are "fucking kids"
14. Barrel Rolls are Necessary.
15. Down Forward+Punch is a perfect move to spam (prepare to hear hadoken a lot).
16. Hookers are always okay to run over. 
17. If you win, you're either gay, you cheated, or you got lucky.    
18. Tea bagging makes you own.
19. Left trigger is always aim down the sights. 
20. Right trigger is always fire
21. Hold 'A' to charge your lasers.
22. 20XX. Years don't have to make sense.  
23. Grenade Launchers are over powered.   
24. In RPGs enemies will always attack the healer first!  
25. Death is death, No ressurecting on the spot.
26. NES, SNES, and N64 games take a couple tries before they will obey, deal with it.  
27. Health potions are red. Magic potions are Blue.
28. The .SERVER is the overlord of gaming. He knows all.
29. The .SERVER owns the banhammer, be mindful of what you do. 
30. Arranging three or more objects of the same color and shape within close proximity will make them disappear.
31. ONLY use C-C-C-C-Combo Breakers when necessary.  
32. Games are all based on opinion. On the other side, the .SERVER wants everyone to know that Halo 3>CoD 4
 33. The guy with the white hair is evil and wants to destroy the world or God.
34. Things that glow bright red, yellow, or orange should be shot until they explode. 
35. .SERVER changed his mind and thinks that CoD 4>Halo 3
36. Dead bodies always disappear. 
37. There is no such thing as limited continues anymore.   
38. You have 5 - 9 seconds underwater before you loose a life, no exceptions.  
39. If you score a whole bunch of kills with any specific weapon, you aren't skilled with it, you're a "<name of weapon> whore", and should be looked down upon.
40. The .SERVER despises "<name of weapon> whores".     

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#42  Edited By sp1der1976

28.Greneades are a cheep but  totally legitimate way to die. over and over and over.
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#43  Edited By demontium

28? 
 
41. Greneades are a cheap but  totally legitimate way to die. over and over and over. 

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#44  Edited By demontium

42. Massive Multiplayer Online games require money, if you cannot provide you cannot play (warning, the quality of an MMO does not reflect the price)

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#45  Edited By Skillface

42. No screen-looking.

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#46  Edited By demontium

43. No screen-looking.
44. If you are caught Screen-Looking by the .SERVER you will get a banhammer.
45. Scizor is uber, no exceptions
46. Smogon was invaded by terrorists

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#47  Edited By demontium

Hey look @ this the .SERVER is watching. 

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#48  Edited By Druminator

Number as you will.
 
When you lose miserably, spam the top player with obnoxious voice messages followed by a picture of your penis and/or balls.

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#49  Edited By demontium

 47. When you lose miserably, spam the top player with obnoxious voice messages followed by a picture of your penis and/or balls.  
 
@Druminator: nice

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#50  Edited By demontium

No Caption Provided