The Turk's 2019 Review Haikus

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TheRealTurk

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#1  Edited By TheRealTurk

The site has been one something of a review kick lately. As much as I'd like to so some of my own, I just really don't have the time to do a proper job of it. So instead, I give you my reviews of games I played in 2019, presented in haiku format.

Anthem (2/5)

Bioware is dead.

My expectations were low,

Still disappointed.

Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night (4/5)

A solid homage.

Frustrating to watch streams, though.

Vinny should make food.

Borderlands 3 (3/5)

It's more Borderlands.

Nothing really unique here.

It is just OK.

Code Vein(2/5)

Dark Souls wannabe.

Shirts and pants are optional.

Just anime porn.

Control(5/5)

From out of left field,

It is a really fun time.

My game of the year.

Death Stranding (3/5)

Nothing else like it.

It's a one of a kind game,

But kind of boring.

Rage 2(3/5)

It's not a great game,

But it isn't terrible.

"Eh" game of the year.

Resident Evil 2 (4/5)

Another remake.

I never played the old one,

But this is real good.

Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice (2/5)

How disappointing.

A loathsome experience.

Stay far, far away.

Star Wars: Jedi: Fallen Order (3/5)

The story is fun,

But the combat is janky.

It ends up a wash.

The Division 2 (3/5)

More guys with guns. Yawn.

Too many damn map icons.

When will Ubi learn?

The Outer Worlds (4/5)

A good Fallout game.

An otherwise strong story

Fades towards the end.

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mach_go_go_go

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Sekiro is great,

But I can't finish it, so...

Maybe I'm broken.

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Efesell

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I will fight for both Sekiro and Code Vein but I can still appreciate this format.

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SethMode

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#4  Edited By SethMode

Honestly, the Code Vein haiku is a classic case of the text and the score not syncing up. Everything in the text makes this a must try game for me, and the score is a 2/5!?

Also, really enjoyed this.

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sparky_buzzsaw

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I love this. Well done.