I think, at some point, your reaction to someone using words in that manner is really a great window into how you view yourself (I.E. self-esteem)
I was bullied as a kid for wearing Nintendo themed shirts, or handing out hand-written guides for Starcraft missions at lunch time. Been called a nerd and many other "hateful things." However, I'm now 29. That sort of verbal intolerance is sort of lost on me. I don't identify as a nerd - I identify as a person who happens to really like games. I have a family, a well paying job, and I like to tell myself that I have a good life behind and in front of me.
I may have rambled there at some point, but I think the reaction to these sort of things tends to be a symptom of an even great self identity problem. It's an opinion, so take what I with a grain of salt obviously, but at some point in our lives we have to come to terms that a good percentage of the world is hateful, and (hopefully) revel in the fact that we are not part of that percentile.