Win a copy of Dark Souls III by entertaining me!

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sparky_buzzsaw

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Edited By sparky_buzzsaw

Hey folks!

I have a copy of Dark Souls III (and some piece of DLC I can't be bothered to go look up) I'm looking to give away to one lucky member of the Giant Bomb community. But I'm not just interested in doing a random drawing. Oh no. You're going to entertain me. Dance for my entertainment! DANCE!

Actually, no, don't dance. Write. Stop with the groaning already, it's simple. Assuming you have 200+ posts, I want you to write me a seven word short story. That's it. You can use any combination of punctuation or sentence structure you like. Just tell me an ORIGINAL story in seven words, and you're entered. Here's the rules in a simple bullet point style, because the Internet hates reading anything longer than a goddamned - you've already nodded off, haven't you? Fuck.

-Have 200+ posts. Don't be a dillweed and go posting a bunch of spam to bump your count up.

-Short story, seven words, be original. I used to hunt down plagiarism as a job, and also IT'S ONLY SEVEN WORDS, YOU LAZY CHEATS. So don't, Chester Cheatoh.

-You are limited to ONE entry. That's (1), minus the parenthetical marks. Do you know the number of fingers you use to flip off that asshole who always starts off every conversation with, "Sure is a hot/cold/mild/smoldering ruin of a day, huh?" Yeah. That's the number of entries you get.

-Spelling, proper punctuation, and an adherence to the English language are nice, but I'll allow for creative punctuation and form given the short nature of the beast. That said, if you misuse any contractons, you're fuckin' out. That's some third-grade bullshit and third-graders shouldn't be hanging around these forums and they damn well better not be reading my curse-filled diatribes.

-Contest will close... I don't know, man, sometime Sunday night. All right, you want an exact time? Fine. I live in GMT time in the States, so we'll call it at 9:00 P.M. on Sunday my time. If you want to know what time that is, use the damn Google machine. Also see my previous comment about middle fingers.

Good luck! Wow me, entertain me! I love you all. Platonically. Don't get your hopes up.

Also, this is Steam-only. Don't whine at me about not winning a copy for your goddamn Game Gear.

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TobbRobb

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In search of wings

Many broken bones

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a_e_martin

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#2  Edited By a_e_martin

A story in seven words? Life, infinite.

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planetfunksquad

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this is too hard, he thought, sadly

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Newfangled

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it's $12

on Humble

buy it

instead

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SoylentGreen

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I have Dark Souls III. It's ok.

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sparky_buzzsaw

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#6  Edited By sparky_buzzsaw

When the hell did I become the grumpy old man of these forums? Eh, never mind, I don't care. Keep 'em coming, folks!

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Slag

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Scientists Ask- Is Juice a Late-Night Snack?

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ShaggE

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Turns out, seven word stories are difficult.

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MrSlapHappy

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"But what about Switch?" Asked Dr. Zoidberg.

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ajamafalous

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giantbomb.com: it's a website about video games

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FrodoBaggins

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Castle built. King cometh. Justice served, beheaded.

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citizencoffeecake

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The deer wrestled wildly and finally won.

(I already have the game this was just for funsies)

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UpperDecker

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Robocop Good Man. Wendy's Burgers Suck Balls.

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Relkin

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Sublimity and horror in one, bile rose.

(Also already have the game)

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darklingscribe

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To link, usurp, or end the fire...

I’m not entering, just like writing stories.

(My post count is well under 200.)

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Sammerguy

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Remember when Robocop shot that dude's dick?

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Onemanarmyy

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#19  Edited By Onemanarmyy

The dance ends. Fingers bow towards Enter.

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TheHT

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Elegies tore their hearts, and Unseen laughed.

don't want the game, but i enjoy little creative activities like this.

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Jesus_Phish

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Yo cuphead should have been higher son

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cikame

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Prove identity quick, show me nudie pic.

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bongchilla

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Lordran, Drangleic, Lothric. We’re going in circles.

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super2j

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Life tomorrow, without thought and invention yesterday.

*no game needed, own it.

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Acura_Max

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FFX is better than FF XV

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TheFakePsychic

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I can do it in one. It's--

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Rejizzle

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My soul flunked out of high school.

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militantfreudian

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#28  Edited By militantfreudian

Brown and grey, a world in decay.

Seven is fewer words than I thought. Also, I have the game.

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sparky_buzzsaw

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#30  Edited By sparky_buzzsaw

Don't forget, folks, 200+ posts are needed to qualify for the prize. Love the entries so far, though.

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ripelivejam

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#31  Edited By ripelivejam

I have this game but entered anyway

edit since mine is horribly unoriginal now

garf ate lasagna until he burst disgustingly

seriously skip mine sorry could not resist

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hansberg

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The knight pursued, but failed his princess.

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BeachThunder

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Not my kind of game, so I'm not in, but I thought I'd write something anyway:

"Nighttime...another argument...hit hard. Doctor: 'aphasia'".

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PeezMachine

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I don't know why I ate that.

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deactivated-5f39c75856922

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I woke up in time to fall

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TyCobb

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Timmy cried. Hands bloody. Timmy lifeless. Peaceful silence.

(7 unique words. Deal with it!)

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NTM

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#37  Edited By NTM

Don't want the game. Thank you though.

---

Okay, that was seven words. Ha. It's a game I'm currently playing anyway. Well, more like determining when I should get the DLC.

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Redhotchilimist

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It was my mother's boyfriend all along.

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Ericjasonwade

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The man relieved himself upon the balcony.

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Iron_Tool

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Go Fudge yourself!

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diz

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The floccinaucinihilipilification of antidisestablishmentarianism occured at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

(I couldn't help but write a bit of a novella)

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soulcake

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Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman Batman .com

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viking_funeral

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She burned. They drunkenly laughed. Irish pyre.

(I already own DS3 on Steam and wouldn't accept the prize - I just felt like trying.)

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sparky_buzzsaw

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Good stuff so far, people. Still a day and change left, so get your entry in!

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deactivated-5a923fc7099e3

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A dark soul finds friendship at last.

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ArbitraryWater

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#46  Edited By ArbitraryWater  Online

I already own Dark Souls. Thanks though.

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Counterclockwork87

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I’m prepared to die. In a game!

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49th

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#48  Edited By 49th

I’m only writing this because I’m pooping.

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sparky_buzzsaw

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I already own Dark Souls. Thanks though.

I see what you did there.

Just under twelve hours left, folks!

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CountMacula

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Dance for Dark Souls? China don't care!