Your worst nightmares come true - Bike 2 is a game now

Well, I did it. I don't know why I did it. But I did. I made Bike 2. Before you read any further, let me just say: I'm so, so sorry.

Download Link

Windows only, sorry folks.

http://gamejolt.com/games/arcade/bike-2/44946/

What

So, I thought it would be a kind of funny and novel thing to actually make a small game out of Jeff's "Bike 2" idea from the GOTY skit. I got a laugh out of the idea, and so here we are. It started as a little jam I did over a couple days during my New Year holiday, but due to my own stupidity and hubris ended up going an extra couple of weeks, with me squeezing in some work on it when I could. Let me be frank. This game has weird physics wonkiness, poor design, lazy sound effects, and is just lacking many of the niceties you would expect from any game, really. You can't even view the hi scores unless you get a hi score. Speaking of the hi scores, when I made the default computer scores, I just started at 1000 and worked my way up. I don't even know if they correspond at all to the scores you can get in the game! It's messed up, guys. Still, my delirium has driven me to finish it and put it out into the poor unknowing public.

How to play

There are kind of instructions in the game. However, the instructions fail to mention a number of things. I mean, scoring isn't explained at all. At the end of the day, it isn't too complicated, it's basically an excitebike clone. Hold and release spacebar to jump, use the arrow keys to rotate, and land back in the same position. There's a fast drop. You can also land on the back or front wheel to do some special stuff. Doing flips will give you points. Getting gold will get you points. You also get a time bonus. Don't get hit by the scorpions. You guys can figure it out.

GB Member Participation

I don't if you saw the thread I posted last weekend, where I prompted you all for your initials. Well, turns out I wasn't just selling your information to third parties. If you were one of the first 8 people to respond, you're initials are on the hi score board as the default computer scores. Congrats! Your names have been forever immortalized in this train-wreck. Also, I have to mention, if you go back to that thread, you can spot some foreshadowing I did. I wonder if anybody caught it...

Epilogue / Apology

I'm sorry for unleashing this monster upon the world. I'm sorry for taking a good joke entirely too far, and then further. I'm sorry for almost creating a half-decent game, and then not spending enough time on it to actually give it justice. I'm sorry for plaguing it with usability issues. I'm sorry you can't view the hi scores from anywhere other then the end of the game (I know, terrible!). I'm sorry for making the scorpions such assholes. I'm sorry for overusing italics in this post. Most of all, I'm sorry for dragging you all into the event horizon of this dark nightmare with me.

Please god, forgive my sins.

Ok, I was going to flag this as spam until I realized what I was really seeing.

Well now you´ve done it ..... now you have to make all of the games mhwaaaahahahhahaha , that should be enough atonement

Jeff is gonna want his royalties. Get now while he is sweet and distracted by on WWE Immortals!

Oh my god this is incredible. I would pay real monopoly money for this and yet here it is, a steaming hot free mess.

You can probably put this on steam.

This is amazing and I will be forever proud to be the KING OF BIKE.

Calling early GOTY favourite.

Yes! Jeff should have a good laugh at this... You should probably tag him in a post

You're fucking great.

You're my new favourite human being. Don't tell my wife.

For a second i thought this was a sequel to Motorbike, the not great Trials-esqe game that Jeff and Vinny quick looked.

Jim Sterling should play this game on his channel

EDIT: Also that load screen is something else.. My final score was 0 but I did a sick backflip over a cool scorpion.

THIS kind of stuff is why I love this community

Pure gold.

@jeff I demand to see this on upf

Yo this game is cool. I got 4599.

This is awesome. I'll pay you $500 to make that clown game

I laughed out loud at graphics quality: bike

Video games = SAVED!

There is no god.

Fuck.

I'm holding out for Wreckhaus!

Dat F connectivity, yo!

@rafaelfc: #Reckhaus

Incredible. You're doing important work, @duncankeller.

@madman356647: #Penthaus

Does this mean Bike 2 gets a wiki page?

@bisonhero: #Fullhaus

This is amazing on so many levels of crazy.

This is amazing. You pretty much have to do all the games in the GOTY now and release them as a compilation....right? :P

Incredible. This is incredible.

I didn't need this in my life.

I was wondering when this was going to be willed into existence. I'd have done it myself, but unless you want Twine game versions of Clown Swarm, Iconoclash, and #WRECKHAUS I don't know how to make games with graphics and stuff.

Is there a #WRECKHAUS easter egg in there? Btw, someone needs to create a wiki entry for that.

Can someone do a total conversion of Food Fight into Clown Swarm? Because, well, yeah.

I would totally play a twine version of #RECKHAUS fwiw

This is fantastic! I will need to check this out when I get out of work.

Awesome job, duder!

You best lawyer up son, 'cause the CBSi legal dream team is coming for you.

This thread is too positive at the moment. We need more cynicism.

I laughed

Haha, this is awesome. Need to check it out when I get home!

I feel like I should flag this thread as spam anyway. I haven't even played the game and I'm already crying tears of blood.

@dudeglove:

This game is better than Brothers.

Amazing!

this is the best thing

This is incredible hahahah. Well done!

Thanks for the kind words, everybody. I'm glad that people like this dumb thing.

The idea of a full collection did cross my mind, but I doubt my fragile soul could handle that.

Damnit Mario Party! Look at what you've done!

That loading screen is great. This whole thing is great. I really hope they play this on UPF tonight! AMAZING STUFF DuncanKeller!