A review by an idiot: Armond White's review of Toy Story 3

I'm well aware that every single person on this planet is entitled to their own opinions, but when you say things like this... well, your opinion is justifiably nullified: 

"Toy Story 3 is so besotted with brand names and product-placement that it stops being about the innocent pleasures of imagination—the usefulness of toys—and strictly celebrates consumerism."

 
"I feel like a 6-year-old having to report how in Toy Story 3 two dolls—Sheriff Woody (Tom Hanks) and Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen)—try to save a toy box of childhood playthings from either disuse or imprisonment..."  

  "none of these digital-cartoon characters reflect human experience; it’s essentially a bored game that only the brainwashed will buy into. Besides, Transformers 2 already explored the same plot to greater thrill and opulence"

While Toy Story 3’s various hazards and cliffhangers evidence more creativity than typical Pixar product (an inferno scene was promising, Lotsa Hugs’ cannily evokes mundane insensitivity), I admit to simply not digging the toys-come-to-life fantasy (I don’t babysit children, so I don’t have to) nor their inevitable repetition of narrative formula

 “It takes all the running you can do just to stay in the same place.” Burton’s omission of that legendary, therapeutic slogan parallels how Toy Story 3 suckers fans to think they can accept this drivel without paying for it politically, aesthetically or spiritually.    

 We’re meant to enjoy our susceptibility, not question it, as in Joe Dante’s more challenging Small Soldiers.    

  it becomes fitfully amusing (more than can be said for Wall-E or Up) but this humor depends on the recognition of worn-out toys which is no different from those lousy    

  The Toy Story franchise isn’t for children and adults, it’s for non-thinking children and adults.

" it’s essentially a bored game that only the brainwashed will buy into"
 
I stopped there.

Good copy edit skills: instant creditability  
 
Bad copy edit skills: looky my redveiw of the Toy Story 3

"I admit to simply not digging the toys-come-to-life fantasy."
 
This statement shows that he shouldn't even be reviewing Toy Story 3.

 "Transformers 2 already explored the same plot to greater thrill and opulence"
 
O_O

I dunno why you're so butt hurt. That was definitely not the worst review i've ever read.

Horribly written bullshit. I haven't seen the movie, nor will I go out of my way to do so, so I can't comment on the MOVIE'S quality.....but this White's phrasing and composition are just fucking horrible.

"  "Transformers 2 already explored the same plot to greater thrill and opulence"  O_O "

That's probably one of the worst professional reviews I've seen. It reads like a crazy man babbling on a soap box about nothing.  
 
 
Also that transformers 2 comment was just insane. 

" I dunno why you're so butt hurt. That was definitely not the worst review i've ever read. "

"  I don’t babysit children, so I don’t have to"  
 
Is he trying out for a Scubbing Bubbles ad?

It was a really good movie but the opening cartoon clip "Day and Night" sounded my liberal propaganda alarm. It was as if Tom Hanks was trying to indoctrinate me.

Armond White, professional troll. You can usually predict what kind of review he's going to give based on whether or not the movie is fresh on Rotten Tomatoes.

See? Trolls do exist outside of the forums!

Armond White is an epic troll and gets millions of hits for this bullshit reviews.

Most successful real life troll? I think he comes close :s

He needs to be b& from life.

So does that mean Toy Story 3 is no longer 100% on Rotten Tomatoes? That guy needs to be struck off there as a top critic. I have never read a review by him that wasn't just contrary for the sake of it.

He should have a Buzz Lightyear shoved up his ass.

" He writes reviews like that so people like us will read them, foam at the mouth and dedicate a forum topic to it. Just go by what Ebert says. He's the best in the business. "

" He needs to be b& from life. "

" So does that mean Toy Story 3 is no longer 100% on Rotten Tomatoes? That guy needs to be struck off there as a top critic. I have never read a review by him that wasn't just contrary for the sake of it. "

" He should have a Buzz Lightyear shoved up his ass. "

" So does that mean Toy Story 3 is no longer 100% on Rotten Tomatoes? That guy needs to be struck off there as a top critic. I have never read a review by him that wasn't just contrary for the sake of it. "

" Armond White is an epic troll and gets millions of hits for this bullshit reviews. "

" @Bloviator: @uniform:  I hadn't heard of the guy before I stumbled upon him on the Toy Story 3 page. Turns out he is quite prolific in his... shall we say unique brand of idiocy. "

I didn't like either of the first two Toy Story films.

Sounds like he is an attention whore.

" @Tebbit: you could, at the very least, supply us with a link to the original review. "

" I dont really honestly see the problem. It doesnt break credibility for me just because I disagree with his assessment. I hold nostalgia for Toy Story, he clearly does not. I will definitely see the new movie, he clearly only would for his job so he can bash it. I will probably like the movie, he clearly does not.  Reviews are opinoin and nothing more, you can choose to not listen to them. This will make no difference on the world at large. =) "

" I didn't like either of the first two Toy Story films. "

" @Tebbit said:

" @Bloviator: @uniform:  I hadn't heard of the guy before I stumbled upon him on the Toy Story 3 page. Turns out he is quite prolific in his... shall we say unique brand of idiocy. "

Yeah, Ebert even defended White's Avatar (Ebert gave it 4/4) review and wrote a post about it.  After Ebert was shown some of White's previous writings, Ebert retracted.   "

I agree everyone goes berserk for Pixar films, but it's for good reason. They're good.

"

"

The fact that he said Transformers 2  was better than Up and Toy Story 3 was ridiculous.
 
I disagree with 95% of what this man says. Go read some of his other reviews. He loved Dance Flick!