@Godwind: Sounds to me like you have zero social skills and you're trying to cover it by being an asshole. Try being nice to people and seeing what happens. Or, keep fabricating reasons for being a jerk and die alone.
" @HandsomeDead: A dude that looks like that could get girls to hit on him if he had the confidence and attitude to back him up, but based on those videos, I don't see that happening. You'd be surprised what girls can look past appearance-wise. My hottest (and funniest/sweetest) girlfriend I got when I was 60 lbs over my ideal weight. If you act right, you can make almost any liability into a net gain, or at the very least, a non-issue. "
but you'd be a fatass who's acting all confident and cool and smart. hotter thinner guys around you would point at you and say: Why are you playing cool? you got a huge gut swinging in front of you.
" I'm going with you are getting older and your values are shifting. Why else would you question a stance that worked for you in the past and you were comfortable with? "
which is what im afraid is going to happen to me..
my plans for life are to not get myself in all the heartache and trouble that people ask for. just work, make money, live alone spoiling myself and buying everything i crave, maybe with the addition of a nice girlfriend, maybe not. However, i fear the day when i turn 40 and suddenly out of the blue get struck by fatherhood feelings i never had, and spend the rest of my life regretting not making a family or having a child.
The problem is, most people already know they want family and children from their teens.. im sure each and every one of you already pictures what it'd be like when you turn 25-30, get married and have a couple of kids.. im not having that sentiment right now, i despise everything that is KIDS and responsibilities, and i'd give the world just to keep having these feelings/beliefs and never change
but i can tell that that value shift is gonna happen one day years from now when it's too late to change your past.
@Ahmad_Metallic: What? If you are confident and cool and smart, most guys aren't going to call you on it. There are plenty of cool fat people. No one really makes fun of fat people if they're confident and fun to be around (outside of high school). Jack Black, Kevin James, Cee Lo Green, etc.
If an asshole makes fun of you, responding to it correctly can make them look like the dick they are and make you look even more confident, either by turning it around on them or going with it, depending on how cruel and mean-spirited their joke was.
When I was sixty pounds heavier, I only heard one or two jokes at my expense in the span of 4 years, because if you're a cool guy, people aren't going to want to make fun of you, they're going to want to be friends with you. And those two times I handled in the way mentioned above.
Most girls would rather be with a fun and confident guy with a gut than a hot guy that just brings everyone down.
@Wrighteous86: which is why your plan wont work for me..
im a fat guy who doesnt like to play cool and confident, 'turn it around' on assholes and all that because it feels like pathetic social layers of acting and pretending and caring too much about how you come off. also social bickering and strategical comebacks and all that horseshit. im not insulting you, i actually envy you for once being fat and being able to play it cool and attract friends and girls, however im simply unable to play that cool angle
im a quiet friendly down-to-earth kinda guy who doesnt really have anything to say and isnt interested in anything going on. just wants to keep on living and enjoying each moment the way he pleases.. an antisocial nerd (by nature) who's had enough of dick and fart jokes when he graduated from high school, and thus doesnt really relate to guys or even girls because they're all hung up on the casual high-school-esque kinda chit chat and the same rehashed jokes.
this indifference along with a semi-fat ass attached to my back is fucking lethal. lethal i tell ya :(
@Ahmad_Metallic: It doesn't work if you "play" cool and confident. The trick is to figure out why you're a worthwhile person, what makes you unique, what you can do better than other people, and focus on that. My point about responding to rude comments was that you either have to show that it doesn't bother you (in my example by playing along) or defend yourself (by telling the person off). That's not about acting or pretending. That's about self-respect. It shows other people that you accept who you are and have self-respect. You know what I mean?
Are you in college now? Or past that? There are always groups of people that are similar to you to find, you've just gotta look for them. At my college there was a "geek club" called Dimensions that focused on video games and anime and comics. It's harder for introverts to find people that share their interests because they don't go out looking for them (thus the whole "introvert" thing), and because the people they're looking for also tend to be introverts, but those people are out there. Start being more active in the hobbies that you have and find ways to search out other people with the same hobbies. Nobody worth knowing is going to be confrontational or insulting because you want to know them better, it's flattering when someone shows interest in you.
I don't want to tell you how to live your life, but I think I've got a pretty good head on my shoulders about this kind of thing, so let me know if you ever want any advice or help. Or tell me to fuck off because this is a video game message board. You're call.
@Wrighteous86: not only do i want your advice, i actually want you to tell me how to live. i've become so passive and indifferent and bored with this shit they call 'social life' that i'd rather pay someone to teach me how to think and act in those everlasting confusing situations i get into in my daily life. i know i sound desperate and lacking the self respect, but its not that, its that i live somewhere where they're all look-alike trendy robots without even a hint of diversity for me to find anyone i can connect with.. and the only way to survive is to learn just HOW to be an authentic self-confident member of society, which is what ive been trying to figure out for years
anyway lets not hijack this thread, im really interested in your 'fat yet confident' experience and would like to discuss it in a PM perhaps !
this guy turned down a girl who asked him out. he expressed his distaste for girls and relationships and that he doesnt need that shit in his life some called him gay others said yes you are a jerk and the rest said 'no you just turned her down. you just didnt have to be cold'
then handsomedead showed us a video of him being angry and nerdy and lame, which makes his argument invalid
@KaosAngel: Dude talks about how girls always come on to him and he turns them down. This happened again on Valentine's Day, and he shot the girl down point blank, and describes the utter disappointment in her face that she could not, in fact, rock his body. Asks if he's a jerk for being blunt and not having enough time for all the hot chicks that want a taste of his honey.
People call him gay, sociopathic, and a member of the He-Man Woman Hater's Club. HandsomeDead eventually posts a video that shows what OP looks, sounds, and acts like, prompting everyone to confirm that OP is actually a sexless, depressing liar. OP hasn't posted to acknowledge his public lashings since.
@HandsomeDead said:
" Wait a second. Are people taking this seriously? Does no one remember this:
This is Godwind. No one asked him out on Valentine's Day. "
Moral of the story: OP has 99 problems but a bitch ain't one; and he desperately wishes they were.
i dont think you're a jerk at all rejecting someone isn't evil especially since you feel bad about it i think you should figure out what you want from life before continuing down this path
Yawn. We're all so sorry you have all of these women coming on to you. Maybe send them to the Giant Bomb community so we can all bask in your reflected light. So no, you aren't a jerk, but the jury's out on the question of douchiness.
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