And now for my topic here. Yeah.

I registered here on the first day, logged in a couple times, forgot about the place, logged in again, forgot about the place, and now I'm back.
Just thought I should make you all aware of that.
Anyway, to give this lamesauce topic some content, we shall tell hilarious jokes. Yeah that's it.

...

I don't have any. >_>

Nevermind, yes I do. (Stolen from downtim(e)) (FORGIVE ME!)

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Banana.
Banana Who?
Banana Who Lives in the Bathtub.

Uncle John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers, called pullets, and 8 or 10 roosters. The roosters were there for one purpose-to fertilize the eggs. Uncle John kept records and any rooster or pullet that didn't perform well went into the pot to be cooked for supper. The unfortunate victims were then replaced by another, hopefully, more productive candidate.

Now this took an enormous amount of time. So when Uncle John found a set of eight tiny bells (that each rang a different tone), he promptly bought them. He glued a piece of foam rubber to each clapper shaft so the bell wouldn't ring except when violently shaken. He hung a bell on each rooster's neck and went and mixed a Mint Julep.

Now he could sit on the porch and sip while filling out an efficiency report on the roosters by listening to the different tones of the bells and marking down each encounter.

His favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was and yet as Uncle John sat listening, Brewster's bell did not ring at all that morning. He went to investigate. Several roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing.

But Brewster had his bell in his beak so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Uncle John was so proud of Brewster he entered him in the county fair. Brewster was an overnight sensation.

They not only awarded him the No Bell prize but also the Pullet Surprise.

>_>

How do you die when you fall down a Bottomless Pit?
Thirst.

So, 3 guys are in a boat. A Mexican guy, a Chinese guy, and an American guy. The boat starts to sink so the Chinese guy throws out a basket of rice and says "We have too much of this in our country!" The Mexican guy throws out some tequila and says "We have too much of this in our country!" so then the American guy throws the Mexican out of the boat and says "We have too much of these in our country!"

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ach
Ach whoo?
Gazoontite.

3 guys crash land their plane into a tribe of Cannibals. The cannibals say they won't eat them if each of the castaways bring back ten of the same fruit. After an hour of searching, the first guy comes back with ten apples. The cannibals say "Shove them up your butt and then you are free" After two apples the first castaway grimaced and was locked away, waiting to be eaten. The second guy comes with cherries. After nine cherries he laughed and was locked away. The first guy asks him "You were on your tenth cherry, why did you laugh?" the second replied "I saw the third guy carrying watermelons"

"3 guys crash land their plane into a tribe of Cannibals. The cannibals say they won't eat them if each of the castaways bring back ten of the same fruit. After an hour of searching, the first guy comes back with ten apples. The cannibals say "Shove them up your butt and then you are free" After two apples the first castaway grimaced and was locked away, waiting to be eaten. The second guy comes with cherries. After nine cherries he laughed and was locked away. The first guy asks him "You were on your tenth cherry, why did you laugh?" the second replied "I saw the third guy carrying watermelons""

lmfao

Oh! I got a good one.
What did the lamp say to the man?

Q. What did Ryu and Ken have for their tea?

A. Hadoken chips.

"Oh! I got a good one.
What did the lamp say to the man?"

A priest, a rabbi and a construction worker walk into a bar.

They sit down and drain a few.

Thank you, thank you very much.