Chuck Noris PWNS! - Jokes

Hey guys, i was reading a thread on this on gamespot and i said "hell, why not bring the best of GS to GB....since GB is much better =D). I found it very epic. CHUCK NORIS RULES!

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(credit to GS Clayron)

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's ****ing beef.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Most children wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Chuck Norris doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erect when they touch his body.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick a** at the same time.

Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.

It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Chuck Norris can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box.

Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn't even in a bowling alley.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn need lay the **** down.

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the **** down

There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris jsut really hates trailer parks.

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(some website)

"Everybody loves raymond.... except chuck norris"

"chuck norris can win at connect 4 in 3 moves"

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(credit to GS musicalmac)

I don't think there is anything wrong with your Chuck Norris joke. It's pretty harmless. Even as a Christian, one of my favorite Chuck Norris jokes is, "Jesus could walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land. Take that, Jesus."

Gets me every time...

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And one of my personal favorites.

( Credit to GS A22A221N_47)

Chuck Norris one time did a girl in a truck and his sperm went into the truck that truck is now known as Optimus Prime

Chuck Norris is so tough, he doesn't check the closet for the boogieman but the boogieman check for Chuch Norris.

Appreciate the props.

The best of Gamespot is Chuck Norris jokes? They must have a pretty low standard.

"The best of Gamespot is Chuck Norris jokes? They must have a pretty low standard.
"

Oh no, another import from Failspot.

Chuck Norris is the only man to punch someone in the back of the face

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter.

Chuck Norris once ran around the world so fast that he punched himself in the back of the head

Chuck Norris knows where in teh world waldo is...and hes coming to kick his a**

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

the list goes on  here

"The best of Gamespot is Chuck Norris jokes? They must have a pretty low standard.
"

When Chuck Norris goes in the water, Chuck Norris does not get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris

classic

Keep them keeping, Chuck isn't coming people laugh themselves you know.

Chuck Norris is full of win. My personal favorite is the boggie man one. Classic.

Chuck Norris once had an erection upside down... he struck oil.

FUck Chuck Norris.

He's a inbred and was a wide stance cause he likes it from the back

"Chuck Norris once had an erection upside down... he struck oil.
"

Normal guys can piss in snow, but Chuck Norris can piss in concrete.
Chuck Norris believes it's not real sex unless the female dies.

Chuck Norris once went to the Virgin Islands, Now they're just "The Islands".

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad.

Chuck Norris was sitting at home one day when his girlfreind said "Look at my Book" she then held up the book. He then roundhouse kicked her three states away and said "Don't ryhme when your around me, Don't $*(^ with Chuck"

Realizing the Irony in the story hours later, Chuck let out a hearty laugh and killed everyone on his street.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding!

Phonics is just about the only thing Chuck Norris isn't hooked on!

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Chuck Norris was sitting at home one day when his girlfreind said "Look at my Book" she then held up the book. He then roundhouse kicked her three states away and said "Don't ryhme when your around me, Don't $*(^ with Chuck"

Realizing the Irony in the story hours later, Chuck let out a hearty laugh and killed everyone on his street.

"

"Oh no, another import from Failspot.
"

Made me lol

"TheDrifter said:

"

Chuck Norris was sitting at home one day when his girlfreind said "Look at my Book" she then held up the book. He then roundhouse kicked her three states away and said "Don't ryhme when your around me, Don't $*(^ with Chuck"

Realizing the Irony in the story hours later, Chuck let out a hearty laugh and killed everyone on his street.

"

I was really waiting for a solid punchline, but there wasn't one. Then I cracked up cuz it was a Chuck Norris joke.
"