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#1 Posted by DJSneakyBear (61 posts) -

Post up your favorite Chuck Norris jokes or whatever ones you find funny.  please keep the "chuck norris jokes are old and teh lamez" to urself please ^___^

I'll start with "Chuck Norris has two speeds.  Walk, and Kill."

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#2 Posted by mr_korean (614 posts) -

Chuck Norris is so fast he could run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head

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#3 Posted by Zombie (229 posts) -

Chuck norris once beat chuck norris at his own game.

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#4 Posted by sdodd02 (763 posts) -

Chuck Norris uses a live rattle snake as a condom.

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#5 Posted by Riddler (1602 posts) -

Chuck jokes are Lamest, Gayest, Fadest, Garbagest things ever. FUCK OFF

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#6 Posted by mr_korean (614 posts) -

Chuck Norris once shat in a jar and sold it as Nutella

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#7 Posted by Apollo (467 posts) -

Chuck Norris.

See what i did there...

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#8 Posted by Brucie (136 posts) -
  • Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird
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    #9 Posted by sdodd02 (763 posts) -
    Riddler said:
    "Chuck jokes are Lamest, Gayest, Fadest, Garbagest things ever. FUCK OFF"

    that's the whole point! they are supposed to be lame! that's why they are funny.
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    #10 Posted by henjin (825 posts) -
    Riddler said:
    "Chuck jokes are Lamest, Gayest, Fadest, Garbagest things ever. FUCK OFF"




    Anyway heres one:
    Chuck norris can divide by zero. We know this as the big bang

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    #11 Posted by Termite (2428 posts) -

    If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you

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    #12 Edited by 111GREEN_RANGER111 (168 posts) -

    If chuck norris was a noodle he'd be the wet possessed noodle of your dreams!

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    #13 Posted by CooLWhiP (75 posts) -

    Chuck norris doesnt drink Mt. Dew....he drinks Volcano Dew

     

    I made it up myself

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    #14 Posted by Blair (2592 posts) -

    Chuck Norris once converted a Jehovah's Witness to Chuck Norris.

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    #15 Edited by 111GREEN_RANGER111 (168 posts) -
    CooLWhiP said:
    "

    Chuck norris doesnt drink Mt. Dew....he drinks Volcano Dew

     

    I made it up myself

    "

    wow your special i made mine up too
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    #16 Posted by mr_korean (614 posts) -

    here's a classic

    when chuck norris does push up he doesn't push up he pushes the earth down

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    #17 Posted by BulletPulse (182 posts) -

    Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
     
    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

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    #18 Posted by spiceninja (3286 posts) -

    Chuck Norris doesn't teabag, he potatosacks.

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    #19 Posted by Blair (2592 posts) -

    Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that certain corn needs to LAY THE FUCK DOWN!

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    #20 Posted by deactivated-579a5a254c9a3 (837 posts) -

    Chuck Norris jokes aren't funny anymore.

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    #21 Edited by WorldsFastestShrimpPeeler (469 posts) -

    Edit,: beaten.

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    #22 Posted by SomeGuy890 (146 posts) -

    The opening scene of  "Saving Private Ryan" was loosly based on a game of dogeball Chuck Norris played in the second grade.

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    #23 Edited by OroJackson (690 posts) -

    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep; he waits
    ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________-

    There was a video game where all the buttons caused Chuck Norris' character to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this glitch, Norris replied "what glitch?"

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    #24 Posted by epic_pets (1345 posts) -

    After chuck norris visited the "virgin islands" they just called it the "island"

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    #25 Posted by microwavedapple (175 posts) -

    Why did Chuck Norris cry?

    Because Chuck Norris jokes aren't funny.