Fake Quotes by famous people

"He wants to SHARE OUR BORDERS?! Nuke the fucker!"-Ghandi

Pretty much anything by Oscar Wilde, William Shakespeare, Friedrich Nietzsche, and any other quote machine.

Confucius says - "Man who walk through door sideways going to bang-cock"

"A perfumed butthole is still a butthole."
-Confucius

Confucius says: "Elevator always smells different to Midget"

"I'm not part of the illuminati."      Jay Z

"I love Dallas.  The people there are so friendly." - John F. Kennedy

Kane and Lynch was a good game- Jeff Gerstmann

"Be!
That's a statement."
-William Shakespeare

"Comedy is what i do best." - Bobby Kotick

"This game has to much of stabbing guys in the face, i hated it." - Ryan Davis

"We must strive to move forward in life, by acknowledging the forces that are thrusted upon ourselves by means of fear, and relinquish them by our ways of hope." - Carrot Top

"This thread is goin' places!"- Betsy Ross

brilliant fucking quotes til now xD 
 
"I'm half the man i used to be" Kurt Cobain

"Happy Hanukkah!" -Adolf Hitler

"Remember when 2012 comes around to vote for the one man who can change this country, Barack Obama" - Glenn Beck

 "Life is like a game of football, played with Hitler's severed head." - Socrates  
 
(Originally from David Wong on pointlesswasteoftime.com, before it was sucked into the Cracked vortex) 

"Gay? What the hell are you talking about?" - Richard Simmons.

" Kane and Lynch was a good game- Jeff Gerstmann "

"Man who goes to doghouse will end up in cathouse." Confucius 

Man who go to bed with itchy bum wake with smelly finger. - Confucious

Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce on a double stacked se

Confucius says, "It is good for boy to meet girl in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl."

"BASEBALL!"- John Madden

" brilliant fucking quotes til now xD  "I'm half the man i used to be" Kurt Cobain "

"GOTY 2010? I'm calling it early: Sonic 4: Episode 1" - Ryan Davis, Giantbomb

"We have no reason to doubt GT5 will come out when they say,"   - Ryan Davis

"I need this parade like I need a hole in the head." - John F. Kennedy
 
"Actually, I think I'll pass on the Heroin tonight Sharon. Wouldn't want to get irreparable brain damage or anything." - Ozzy Osbourne
 
"Sorry, I meant nuclear. NU-CLE-AR." - George W. Bush

"America is built on speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed." Eleanor Roosevelt

" "America is built on speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed." Eleanor Roosevelt "

"I have nothing against the Jewish people." - Hitler 

"I like Facebook. There many of my quotes will be known" - Salvador Dali

" "I have nothing against the Jewish people." - Hitler  "

" That new 50 Cent cd is hot, dawg!  Rush Limbaugh "

'We've got this new thing in the game ... they're called dogs' - Peter Molyneux  
 
Oh wait...

'I think big riggs might be the best game ever made' Alex Navaro

Don't ever be ashamed of what you are because you will always be someones fetish.
                                                                                
                                                                                 --Ryan Davis

"This is not a good mewvie" - Officer Barbrady 

"Oh the new album? You can just download it off Napster or Limewire.. I don't mind." - Lars Ulrich

 "Thanks Jeff for inviting me along on this QL for this weeks new game room releases. I'm really excited" - Ryan Davis

"Bitches ain't shit but tricks and hoes" - Gandhi

"The Illuminati is a lie, I was only pretending to be a crazy person" 
-  HitmanAgent47

"I'm opposed to prop19." - Zach Galifianakis 

"Maybe tone it down with the explosions" - Michael Bay
 
"Oy vey! I almost forgot to set a plate for Elijah" - Mel Gibson
 
"I think it is best to release a Call of Duty game  once every 2 years so people won't get sick of the franchise" - Bobby Kotick
 
" The Mother Trilogy will be released on the 3DS and later next year Mother 4 will have a worldwide release on our new HD console" - Reggie Fils-Aime

"Other than that, I really enjoyed the play." -Mary Todd Lincoln (after President Abraham Lincoln was whisked away through a portal to become the leader of Lincoln Force.)

"The best thing about the internet is that you can attribute a quote to whoever the fuck you want and nobody will be the wiser" --George Washington