Giantbomb Storybook

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MrCandleguy

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#1  Edited By MrCandleguy

So im unsure if there is a storybook so to speak. But if this catches on i will buy a hardcover book so sorts and write the giantbomb storybook and post pictures etc. Might even send it to the giantbomb offices if i think its worth their eyes.
 
But first the Rules:
Try to make it make SOME sense, no sex scenes, comedy is great, no flaming, only write ONE sentence per person! we wanna get everyone involved. 
And if you dont know how one of these things work you carry on the story from the poster above you. but try to read the other posts to get a feel of whats happening.
I will add to the rules if any other things come up. 
Also i will Put every single name of people who helped with this book in it to, so its not just me taking the credit. Yet i am getting left with the bill. 

 
 
!st sentence: Once a upon a time, there was a man called Jack.

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lordbazuco

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#2  Edited By lordbazuco

 Jack was a troubled man, plagued by impotence.    

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animateria

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#3  Edited By animateria

Jack spoke to himself, "Great, another story thread that never really ends well".

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Bruce

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#4  Edited By Bruce
@animateria:  
 
"Perhaps we shouldn't be pessimistic?" Bruce replied to Jack's low mutter.
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ChrisHill

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#5  Edited By ChrisHill

Due to this terrible condition, he felt that plunging a toilet was necessary .

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animateria

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#6  Edited By animateria

That toilet was actually Bruce who got stabbed with a plunger by Jack.

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Cwaff

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#7  Edited By Cwaff

However the plunger was not actually a plunger.

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animateria

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#8  Edited By animateria

It was a rubber duck.

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MrCandleguy

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#9  Edited By MrCandleguy

But this was no normal Rubber duck, this duck was actually a item that would one day, save jack and the rest of the world

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BlastProcessing

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#10  Edited By BlastProcessing

After gazing at the duck for minutes, Jack fantasized about Steve Wilkos raping Donkey from Shrek.

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lordbazuco

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#11  Edited By lordbazuco

Bruce, now bleeding to death on the floor being stabbed by a plunger/ rubber duck, began to tell Jack the ancient prophecy of the wood nymphs. 

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rt44tbtb4

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#12  Edited By rt44tbtb4

But, we're getting ahead of ourselves, for this all started innocently, on one summer's night, 13 years ago...

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Mrnitropb

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#13  Edited By Mrnitropb

...when a young duck and a plunger fell in love, drank too much vermouth, and 9 months later birthed the hideous rubber duck/plunger hybrid that now had yet another murder to deal with.

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JJOR64

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#14  Edited By JJOR64

While Jack was doing the monkey (the Johnny Bravo dance), he heard something strange outside.

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rentfn

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#15  Edited By rentfn

He was going to check what was outside...but then he found five dollars.

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Mrnitropb

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#16  Edited By Mrnitropb

So he decided to go buy a Footlong sub.

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MrCandleguy

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#17  Edited By MrCandleguy

 On the way to subway he noticed the picture of this 5 dollar note, was not the usual person.

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animateria

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#18  Edited By animateria

 It was Cthulu, the Great Old One slumbering in his city of R'lyeh.

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shanchett99

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#19  Edited By shanchett99

he thought "finally he gets some recognition" and purchased the sub

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Vinny_Says

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#20  Edited By Vinny_Says

but the sub had onions, even though he clearly asked for no onions

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animateria

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#21  Edited By animateria

 But the odd and mysterious employee reminded Jack that Bruce's flesh needed to be eaten with onions.

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Mrnitropb

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#22  Edited By Mrnitropb

And so he pulled his trusty plunger-duck from his sheath, and messily stabbed the sandwich artist, and then stabbed him again for having to refer to the new corpse as a "sandwich artist".

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MrCandleguy

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#23  Edited By MrCandleguy

While walking outta the subway, he notices one of those Jared cardboard cut-outs, and thats when they became best friends.

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anarchyzombie9

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#24  Edited By anarchyzombie9

When Jared decided to leave Jack decided to OPEN THE DOOR, GET ON THE FLOOR, EVERYBODY WALK THE DINOSAUR!

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OmegaPirate

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#25  Edited By OmegaPirate

At which point nobody walked the dinosaur, they just stared with mild intrigue and carried on with their lives

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WickedCestus

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#26  Edited By WickedCestus

Then a meteor crashed into earth.

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damswedon

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#27  Edited By damswedon

You see Meteors are spaceships for a species of intergalactic ants.

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IamNOTatalkingpony

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Jack used superpowers gained from the sandwich to defeat the ants.
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metalsnakezero

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#29  Edited By metalsnakezero

But then the ants counterattacked with their own sandwich.

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wrecks

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#30  Edited By wrecks

 And for no apparent reason, Jack exclaimed "That's not the bookcase!"    

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DonutFever

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#31  Edited By DonutFever

Jack was speaking ant speak, and the ants became enraged.

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damswedon

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#32  Edited By damswedon

So they banded together to take the form of one giant ant that was the size of a

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cooljammer00

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#33  Edited By cooljammer00

So says Mr. Stewart 
 
*beatbox*

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DonutFever

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#34  Edited By DonutFever

That's right: Micheal came.And he wanted to fight the ants that turned into a giant ant. However the ants... 

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blueman90

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#35  Edited By blueman90

wanted to start a rap group with him. l'il riddle as the leader.
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MrCandleguy

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#36  Edited By MrCandleguy

This rap group was called "G-unit" and they fucked shit up.

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Skullo

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#37  Edited By Skullo

But that's what their parents said, they couldn't rap for shit.

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DonutFever

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#38  Edited By DonutFever

Then they went to Iraq to get back their SKUUUUULLS and...

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citizenkane

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#39  Edited By citizenkane

Sorry folks, but these types of threads are now allowed here on Giant Bomb.