Bro, sorry to say but I went through the same thing but I will tell you what I learned from it. Chicks that act like that are just bitches. You break up with her so she knows she messed up. Don't let her be the one to get out of it. Tell her that because she is acting this way, needing space, you don't think you want her. This will make here think twice. And if it doesn't, then you shouldn't be with her.
I had that happen to me, but eventually she decided she couldn't live without my penis. But then I dumped her because she was a cunt.
And you know what caused the break? We were both to possessive, just as you were. She likes to hang out with guys, and it's no big deal. You gotta live with the fact that you're not the only person she will ever spend time with. A harsh truth, but a truth nonetheless. In the meantime leave her alone and wait for her to get back to you. Hopefully she will. Best of luck to you.
When a woman says she wants a "break" it means she wants to break up with you but she's too afraid to be single and wants to keep you around like a spare tire. Are you a spare tire or are you a man? Tell her if she wants a break, it's over between you two. Don't let her control you, you gotta realize that it's over and you have to be the one who lays it down and say it's over. There are plenty of other women out there and you gotta move on. So best thing for you to do is be a man, YOU break up with HER and not the other way around.
" Edit: She wont answer my texts/calls until she contacts me somehow at night at some random time "
Fatal Error FATAL ERROR, she says she wants a break and you start messaging her? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING MAN? You've just given her the power your now just a groveling child in her eyes its over dude sorry it sucks but we all have to learn some way.
Start spending time with your friends & totally ignore her, girls HATE to be left out.... show her you are too cool & interesting to care about what she's doing [therefor you can't keep text/calling her]. If she gets jealous, she'll come back. If she doesn't get jealous, well.. yeah it's pretty much over & you'll already be on your way to getting over it.
That sucks. Yeah, I don't want to sound mean. But, that pretty much means she's over you if she ever was into you. That just means it was a bad relationship. I'm really sorry. The thing you should do is break up with her first and look for someone new. But don't hurry it. Take your time and make sure the next one is really the one. Take note that a lot of people will tell you what you want to hear ok? People will tell you to never give up on her and she'll come through. It's not likely though. Just be realistic. You'll be fine in the end alright?
P.S. Take psychology or something. I really don't like when people ask questions when they should know the answers to them. People can say "Well, she's/he's a different person, so it's a different outcome!" Not likely.
It's a very rare thing that some1 is actually that mature and really mean it when they say they need space. "Needing space" is a cop-out for cowards who can't handle the real problem.
Every1 should have their own space, it's healthy... When your significant other starts treating you like shit and claims they need space, I'd say that's a red flag.
I've needed space and loved when I got it, was able to go out and do things on my own. And I don't mean going out and getting shit-faced w/ a bunch of other girls around me. I mean going to the damn store and buying deodorant or toothpaste and not having to bring some1 along or make excuses on why I'd just like to be solo for an afternoon... THAT is needing space.
Basically I'm the only person I know of that has "needed space" and actually meant it. I've had that pulled on me a couple times and I've seen it pulled on others many times.
99% of the time it's unfortunately not what they really need/want. They just go share their "space" they needed so much w/ some1 else! hah!
Im too lazy to read all the above posts so im gonna tell you that you wont get the best advice here, but some are most certainly capable of giving you advice, even if its just general and not taking into consideration knowing who your girlfriend is. And the best advice you will get from these boards i think is talk with her about what does she think you should do and just flat out give her a couple of options. Sometimes things are just not meant to be between two people, and that's why you have to leave them behind and start again with someone else.
" @Killa_Jo: Chill out bro. For one thing NEVER EVER fight about your girl's guy friends. That just makes you look like an immature jackass who has insecurity issues. Also stop with the spamming of her phone. Not the best way to help your cause. Besides, she could actually be busy and not able to answer it. I can definitely say she won't like looking at her phone and seeing like 20 text messages and 10 missed calls from you. That just makes you look weak. Just calm down, pop in a nice violent video game and shoot some guys in the face. Let her know that her taking a break is not that big of a deal to you, and you are willing to give her the space she needs. Is this your first girlfriend? I'm not asking in a bad way or anything, just trying to make out the situation, since I have been exactly where you were way back in the day. "
Everything he said is correct. Clingyness should be a sin. :P
If you can start feeling she is not worth your trouble, then you are probably right. There's a girl out there that is definitely worth your trouble, and vice versa.
@Killa_Jo: Space is what she wants and space is what you need to give her. My girlfriend (of two years) has become distant at times and instead of pulling her to me I simply let her do as she wanted. She'd hang out with people more often and see less of me but once she became fed up with those other people she came back to me, smiling and as happy as ever to see me.
If you love her enough to give her space, then do it. If not, then reevaluate why yer in the relationship in the first place.
"Disagree, I take it your a young guy, honestly if you are this worried and stressed about this girl, then it's best for both of you to end it. Your young, what the hell are you doing being so damn committed? I wouldn't even waste my time with all that "break" bullshit, from my personal experience the last girl to say she wanted a "break" turned out she just wanted to see if I actually would get worried and would cause me to want her more. And hate to tell you, that's usually what the girl is trying to do, simply stress you out. Don't waste your time dude, go find another chick, or better: Her best friend lol I know it seems like it sucks to lose her, but dude life does go on, break ups suck and they hurt like a bitch but man, your young, seriously there are PLENTY of girls out there, this is drama that you don't need. "
That's not necessarily true. Youth doesn't preclude being in a committed relationship, not to mention I once told my boyfriend I wanted a short break and that I needed some space. We're still together. I wasn't doing it to mess with his head or make him jealous, I simply needed some time to think about things. Now we're closer than ever.
Also, it's called grammar. Use it. Otherwise people might go around thinking YOU'RE the young one here.
" Go do your own thing for awhile. Hang out with your own friends. Focus on your own life. Don't ignore her or shut her out, but also don't really prioritize her for a little while. See how she responds. You two might really just need a little space, and that's OK. Doesn't mean it's the end of the world. But usually when one or the other person in a relationship is losing interest, it's because you've started taking each other for granted, so the quickest way to get it back is to simply decrease said attention. And, if she decides she likes having her own space and that she doesn't really want to hang out with you anymore, then you know which way the wind is blowing and can make your decision accordingly. "
This! "
yeah i second this you really need to give her some space and you need to do your own thing.
@Killa_Jo: Personally, as an older person with experience with this sort of thing, there is not a lot you can do. Just leave her be. Go hang out with some other girls. I am not fond of tom-boy girls because some of them are not just there to hang out... and guys, well, guys, usually, don't want girls who are friends, they hang out with girls they think they might have a shot at banging someday. I know this from cold hard experience, and um, from being a guy.
There are a lot of "options" out there, don't get down about it. Love is a crazy thing, if you really love her then wait it out. If you think you kindda love her... move on. When you meet the right girl you will just know it.
I went through a similar thing. I meet my wife a week later and we have been married for 10 years and counting :)
Holy shit everyone. "You're" and "Your" are two completely fucking different words. I just saw like 3 posts in a row with that shit.
But back on point, I totally know where you're coming from with the guy friends thing. Honestly, if she likes spending time with her other guy friends more than you, than you have no reason to stay with her anyway. That's grounds for breaking up with her even without this stupid break. In a healthy relationship, she would want to see you over any other guy the majority of the time. My advice: Get over her and find someone who will care about you the most. That's what love is.
I took a sociology class in college last Fall so I'm pretty much an expert on relationships. Whoever shows the least amount of interest in the relationship always has the upper hand. You have to keep her honest and humble. Don't put the pussy on a pedestal. Can I say that?
" I took a sociology class in college last Fall so I'm pretty much an expert on relationships. Whoever shows the least amount of interest in the relationship always has the upper hand. You have to keep her honest and humble. Don't put the pussy on a pedestal. Can I say that? "
are you being sarcastic? i hope so.
In *real* non-textbook relationships the amount of interest you show is just the opposite with the right girl. A women who loves you wants all of your attention and interest almost all the time and if you go and hang out with other chicks she'd be pissed.
the break thing is total bullshit. just like the whole its me not you bullshit. she is either already cheating or at best looking to leave. if she can't be up front about her feelings then whatever, let her go... trust me, you don't want to deal with a girl like that forever.
" My girlfriend recently told me she needs space because ive been fighting with her about her spend more time with her guy friends more than she does me. She also enjoys spending more time with them than me. I still love her but i think she is going to break up with me. Thoughts? Edit: She wont answer my texts/calls until she contacts me somehow at night at some random time "
Hate to break it to you, but usually girls want a "break" because it softens the blow of the inevitable break-up.
If she wants her space, give it to her. Don't try calling or texting her at all. I would honestly suggest blowing her off the next time she tries calling you. Say you don't have time to talk to her right now, can she call you tomorrow. Acting desperate or jealous is just about the most unappealing thing you can do.
And if she does break up with you, try not to sweat it. Plenty of fish in the sea bro. And being single ain't all bad either.
" I took a sociology class in college last Fall so I'm pretty much an expert on relationships. Whoever shows the least amount of interest in the relationship always has the upper hand. You have to keep her honest and humble. Don't put the pussy on a pedestal. Can I say that? "
are you being sarcastic? i hope so. In *real* non-textbook relationships the amount of interest you show is just the opposite with the right girl. A women who loves you wants all of your attention and interest almost all the time and if you go and hang out with other chicks she'd be pissed.the break thing is total bullshit. just like the whole its me not you bullshit. she is either already cheating or at best looking to leave. if she can't be up front about her feelings then whatever, let her go... trust me, you don't want to deal with a girl like that forever. "
In the "real" you are completely wrong. You smother a woman with attention, they get tired of you. You complement a woman every day, the complement not only begins to mean nothing, but it also starts to annoy her. The value of attention means more to a woman when it's more scarce. A woman wants to feel special, but she doesn't want to be annoyed.
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