Here i rate the whiskey media staff in order of attractiveness to

p five list
 
5.  

This is just...yeah....

uh ......

You got balls, son.

this is the best thing i have ever read

wrong wrong wrong wronk
 
most attracticve is rorie

People are weird. 

[]_[]

I'd hit it.

Balls of steel.

You know, this thread literally be run of the mill if you didn't include that creepy fan fic.
 
Send it to the bombcast, they will love it

I am disturbed. 

this is the best thing i have ever read

This reminds me of that time I was six years old and Uncle Nopockets came to visit.

Mmhm.

I....what?

Reminds me of this.

Good lord

I don't know how much of Tested you watch, but Norm is the opposite of quiet. 
 
Also congradulations Brad!

I don't... what?

no Vinny? how dare you.
 
I'd probably put rorie at #1 though, he's mega hot and mega cute

What. The. Fuck. 
 
No really, who comes up with this stuff? Sean Coonce is so obviously missing from the list.

..Uhhh. 
 
I wish people would stop creeping me out.

Yeah, I agree.

You got balls, son.

AWESOME.

This list is wrong. Have you seen the size of Vinny's arms.

Reminds me of this.

SPOILER WARNING: Click here to reveal hidden content.

Giantbomb
Fanfiction

Just a zany story about two zany friends doing zany things! Enjoy!

Ryan sat at his desk in the little Sausalito offices. The glow of the monitor illuminated his face as he searched the internet for the latest in sports drink technology. He wasn’t particularly excited at the moment just content to be working at a place with good people and good friends. He yawned gently as he struggled to find anything interesting.

Jeff sat next to him in his Herman Miller Aeron Chair. He thought it was comfortable but was really happy with the clean design. At this moment a sudden pang of hunger struck him. He looked around the room.

“We really need a refrigerator down here, yo!” he said in his half mocking, half revering tone. “I’m like starving, dawg!”

“Do you want to just order some pizza or something?” Ryan asked knowing what the answer would be.

“Nah, man we had pizza yesterday. What about that In & Out Burger? You know they got some tasty burgers.”

“Yeah… but I’m not really in the mood for burgers either.”

“Geez, I’m just starving though!” Jeff blurted.

Ryan stared at Jeff. He didn’t know how to sate his friend’s hunger. They’d have these discussions every day and his friend’s picky eating habits were starting to get on his nerves. He decided that he would have to do something a little more forward in order to get the situation under control.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The dark was soothing and seemingly cooled his warm body. In a calm voice he spoke clearly, “Jeff, if you want something to eat. Eat me.”

“Ha! Dude, no seriously, I’m hungry!” Jeff responded.

With his eyes still closed and breathing slowly Ryan raised his voice slightly, “Jeff I don’t want to hear you talking about food anymore. Just eat me. Just fucking eat me.” He drew a large serrated knife from his desk drawer. The long leather wrapped handle was heavy but the balance of the knife was perfectly centered on its hilt.

“Dude! What are you do…”

Before Jeff could finish Ryan plunged the knife with both hands into his abdomen. The sound was dull and moist. Ryan could hear this sickening thud even before he felt the pain. It shot from the wound towards his back and then into his neck. It was excruciating. Warm blood poured down his shirt and dribbled onto the floor. He struggled with the knife to open the wound.

Jeff was stunned. His eyes were impossibly wide and he was listening to the blood pour out of Ryan’s abdomen.

With the knife firmly in his belly he moved both his hands into a palm upward grasp and started sawing the teeth of the blade into his flesh. It was not a smooth motion. The ragged knife cut and tore his fat and the blood was freely flowing onto his hands and pooling onto the carpet.

As Ryan opened the wound up Jeff watched as the yellowish glistening pieces of fat fell to the floor. The rapid pulling thrusts of the knife in flesh sounded like someone was slowly beating an egg. The smell of exposed fat was like that of a freshly opened jar of mayonnaise. When Ryan had torn through about half a foot of his own body he let go of the knife and left it sticking in the bottom of the open wound.

At this point the odor hit Jeff and he realized that Ryan had been screaming. It was a low bellowing noise interrupted with gurgling gasps and brief cries.

Ryan then grasped the edges of his exposed innards and dug his fingers into the subcutaneous fat. He started to pull himself open. His own flesh was warm and slick so he had to bury his hands deeper to get a better hold.

As Ryan tore frantically tore into his own body Jeff could now see the red ragged fibers of muscle as Ryan’s fingers ripped into them. They twitched in concert with Ryans screams and sickened him.

He had opened a hole in his belly enough to expose his abdominal muscles and the fascia intertwined in them. His fingers couldn’t pierce through this barrier though. He pulled the knife that was already buried above his groin and started to saw through the muscle. Because of the large serrations of the knife he had to tug violently to rip through the fascia.

Jeff watched in silence, not realizing that he had held his breath throughout the entire ordeal. Then an even more horrifying vision befell him. Ryan had stopped making human screaming noises and was now just grunting between frantic knife jabs but through the blood and torn flesh Jeff could clearly see loops of bowel starting protrude out of his friend.

Ryan fell to his knees and the sudden impact caused his intestines to pour through the wound. He hadn’t stopped tearing with the knife and pierced through the walls of his small bowel. The spasms of his intestines caused fluid stool to mix with the blood pouring out of Ryan and it smelled like a freshly butchered deer.

The smell was so strong that Jeff’s stomach cramped and he too fell to the floor in front of his eviscerated friend.

At this Ryan whimpered in weakened, breathless gasps but not stopping his disembowelment, “Fucking eat me, dude. Eat that shit.”

Jeff, dazed with horror, grabbed one of Ryan’s torn bowel loops. It convulsed to his touch and was slippery to hold. As he held Ryan’s intestines he could feel the powerful contractions go from one side of his hand to another. He was shocked at this and almost dropped it. The mix of fecal fluids and blood ran down his arms in pulpy threads.

Ryan stared at Jeff. The only noise coming from Ryan’s mouth now was of an impossibly long and low gutteral exhalation.

Jeff tugged on Ryan’s bowels in order to further free them.

N.B I did not write it. Mods don't ban me.

Nice try, Brad.

MOMMY I'M SCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARED

This is both creepy and awesome. So I dub thee Crawesome!

5  

  
2  

  
1 

  

Off Topic is a weird ass forum
 
 
BTW the only true answer is Jeff.

Oh and I feel like someone should mention: This is fucking stupid-creepy weird. Not because it's gay; but because it's just a creepy thing to do.
 
Just so we're all on the same page.

This is what Giantbomb is all about, thank you.... thank you

To be honest, after the Jeff-Ryan-Cannibal fan fiction I saw, this one is barely creepy at all. 
 
Also, Brad is far too good for you duder. No homo.

I feel bad for anyone who happened to read this as their first topic on Giant Bomb.

I'm happy for you man...
 
Also, no Vinny? What the fuck is wrong with you!

What. The. Fuck.  No really, who comes up with this stuff? Sean Coonce is so obviously missing from the list.

This is insane, and not in any kind of good way.

Real people fanfics always terrify me. 

Reminds me of this.

SPOILER WARNING: Click here to reveal hidden content.

Giantbomb
Fanfiction

Just a zany story about two zany friends doing zany things! Enjoy!

Ryan sat at his desk in the little Sausalito offices. The glow of the monitor illuminated his face as he searched the internet for the latest in sports drink technology. He wasn’t particularly excited at the moment just content to be working at a place with good people and good friends. He yawned gently as he struggled to find anything interesting.

Jeff sat next to him in his Herman Miller Aeron Chair. He thought it was comfortable but was really happy with the clean design. At this moment a sudden pang of hunger struck him. He looked around the room.

“We really need a refrigerator down here, yo!” he said in his half mocking, half revering tone. “I’m like starving, dawg!”

“Do you want to just order some pizza or something?” Ryan asked knowing what the answer would be.

“Nah, man we had pizza yesterday. What about that In & Out Burger? You know they got some tasty burgers.”

“Yeah… but I’m not really in the mood for burgers either.”

“Geez, I’m just starving though!” Jeff blurted.

Ryan stared at Jeff. He didn’t know how to sate his friend’s hunger. They’d have these discussions every day and his friend’s picky eating habits were starting to get on his nerves. He decided that he would have to do something a little more forward in order to get the situation under control.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The dark was soothing and seemingly cooled his warm body. In a calm voice he spoke clearly, “Jeff, if you want something to eat. Eat me.”

“Ha! Dude, no seriously, I’m hungry!” Jeff responded.

With his eyes still closed and breathing slowly Ryan raised his voice slightly, “Jeff I don’t want to hear you talking about food anymore. Just eat me. Just fucking eat me.” He drew a large serrated knife from his desk drawer. The long leather wrapped handle was heavy but the balance of the knife was perfectly centered on its hilt.

“Dude! What are you do…”

Before Jeff could finish Ryan plunged the knife with both hands into his abdomen. The sound was dull and moist. Ryan could hear this sickening thud even before he felt the pain. It shot from the wound towards his back and then into his neck. It was excruciating. Warm blood poured down his shirt and dribbled onto the floor. He struggled with the knife to open the wound.

Jeff was stunned. His eyes were impossibly wide and he was listening to the blood pour out of Ryan’s abdomen.

With the knife firmly in his belly he moved both his hands into a palm upward grasp and started sawing the teeth of the blade into his flesh. It was not a smooth motion. The ragged knife cut and tore his fat and the blood was freely flowing onto his hands and pooling onto the carpet.

As Ryan opened the wound up Jeff watched as the yellowish glistening pieces of fat fell to the floor. The rapid pulling thrusts of the knife in flesh sounded like someone was slowly beating an egg. The smell of exposed fat was like that of a freshly opened jar of mayonnaise. When Ryan had torn through about half a foot of his own body he let go of the knife and left it sticking in the bottom of the open wound.

At this point the odor hit Jeff and he realized that Ryan had been screaming. It was a low bellowing noise interrupted with gurgling gasps and brief cries.

Ryan then grasped the edges of his exposed innards and dug his fingers into the subcutaneous fat. He started to pull himself open. His own flesh was warm and slick so he had to bury his hands deeper to get a better hold.

As Ryan tore frantically tore into his own body Jeff could now see the red ragged fibers of muscle as Ryan’s fingers ripped into them. They twitched in concert with Ryans screams and sickened him.

He had opened a hole in his belly enough to expose his abdominal muscles and the fascia intertwined in them. His fingers couldn’t pierce through this barrier though. He pulled the knife that was already buried above his groin and started to saw through the muscle. Because of the large serrations of the knife he had to tug violently to rip through the fascia.

Jeff watched in silence, not realizing that he had held his breath throughout the entire ordeal. Then an even more horrifying vision befell him. Ryan had stopped making human screaming noises and was now just grunting between frantic knife jabs but through the blood and torn flesh Jeff could clearly see loops of bowel starting protrude out of his friend.

Ryan fell to his knees and the sudden impact caused his intestines to pour through the wound. He hadn’t stopped tearing with the knife and pierced through the walls of his small bowel. The spasms of his intestines caused fluid stool to mix with the blood pouring out of Ryan and it smelled like a freshly butchered deer.

The smell was so strong that Jeff’s stomach cramped and he too fell to the floor in front of his eviscerated friend.

At this Ryan whimpered in weakened, breathless gasps but not stopping his disembowelment, “Fucking eat me, dude. Eat that shit.”

Jeff, dazed with horror, grabbed one of Ryan’s torn bowel loops. It convulsed to his touch and was slippery to hold. As he held Ryan’s intestines he could feel the powerful contractions go from one side of his hand to another. He was shocked at this and almost dropped it. The mix of fecal fluids and blood ran down his arms in pulpy threads.

Ryan stared at Jeff. The only noise coming from Ryan’s mouth now was of an impossibly long and low gutteral exhalation.

Jeff tugged on Ryan’s bowels in order to further free them.

N.B I did not write it. Mods don't ban me.

Ryan is way more sexy 

Most glorious thread ever. 
 
BUT, how dare you leave Vinny off that list!

Reminds me of this.

SPOILER WARNING: Click here to reveal hidden content.

Giantbomb
Fanfiction

Just a zany story about two zany friends doing zany things! Enjoy!

Ryan sat at his desk in the little Sausalito offices. The glow of the monitor illuminated his face as he searched the internet for the latest in sports drink technology. He wasn’t particularly excited at the moment just content to be working at a place with good people and good friends. He yawned gently as he struggled to find anything interesting.

Jeff sat next to him in his Herman Miller Aeron Chair. He thought it was comfortable but was really happy with the clean design. At this moment a sudden pang of hunger struck him. He looked around the room.

“We really need a refrigerator down here, yo!” he said in his half mocking, half revering tone. “I’m like starving, dawg!”

“Do you want to just order some pizza or something?” Ryan asked knowing what the answer would be.

“Nah, man we had pizza yesterday. What about that In & Out Burger? You know they got some tasty burgers.”

“Yeah… but I’m not really in the mood for burgers either.”

“Geez, I’m just starving though!” Jeff blurted.

Ryan stared at Jeff. He didn’t know how to sate his friend’s hunger. They’d have these discussions every day and his friend’s picky eating habits were starting to get on his nerves. He decided that he would have to do something a little more forward in order to get the situation under control.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The dark was soothing and seemingly cooled his warm body. In a calm voice he spoke clearly, “Jeff, if you want something to eat. Eat me.”

“Ha! Dude, no seriously, I’m hungry!” Jeff responded.

With his eyes still closed and breathing slowly Ryan raised his voice slightly, “Jeff I don’t want to hear you talking about food anymore. Just eat me. Just fucking eat me.” He drew a large serrated knife from his desk drawer. The long leather wrapped handle was heavy but the balance of the knife was perfectly centered on its hilt.

“Dude! What are you do…”

Before Jeff could finish Ryan plunged the knife with both hands into his abdomen. The sound was dull and moist. Ryan could hear this sickening thud even before he felt the pain. It shot from the wound towards his back and then into his neck. It was excruciating. Warm blood poured down his shirt and dribbled onto the floor. He struggled with the knife to open the wound.

Jeff was stunned. His eyes were impossibly wide and he was listening to the blood pour out of Ryan’s abdomen.

With the knife firmly in his belly he moved both his hands into a palm upward grasp and started sawing the teeth of the blade into his flesh. It was not a smooth motion. The ragged knife cut and tore his fat and the blood was freely flowing onto his hands and pooling onto the carpet.

As Ryan opened the wound up Jeff watched as the yellowish glistening pieces of fat fell to the floor. The rapid pulling thrusts of the knife in flesh sounded like someone was slowly beating an egg. The smell of exposed fat was like that of a freshly opened jar of mayonnaise. When Ryan had torn through about half a foot of his own body he let go of the knife and left it sticking in the bottom of the open wound.

At this point the odor hit Jeff and he realized that Ryan had been screaming. It was a low bellowing noise interrupted with gurgling gasps and brief cries.

Ryan then grasped the edges of his exposed innards and dug his fingers into the subcutaneous fat. He started to pull himself open. His own flesh was warm and slick so he had to bury his hands deeper to get a better hold.

As Ryan tore frantically tore into his own body Jeff could now see the red ragged fibers of muscle as Ryan’s fingers ripped into them. They twitched in concert with Ryans screams and sickened him.

He had opened a hole in his belly enough to expose his abdominal muscles and the fascia intertwined in them. His fingers couldn’t pierce through this barrier though. He pulled the knife that was already buried above his groin and started to saw through the muscle. Because of the large serrations of the knife he had to tug violently to rip through the fascia.

Jeff watched in silence, not realizing that he had held his breath throughout the entire ordeal. Then an even more horrifying vision befell him. Ryan had stopped making human screaming noises and was now just grunting between frantic knife jabs but through the blood and torn flesh Jeff could clearly see loops of bowel starting protrude out of his friend.

Ryan fell to his knees and the sudden impact caused his intestines to pour through the wound. He hadn’t stopped tearing with the knife and pierced through the walls of his small bowel. The spasms of his intestines caused fluid stool to mix with the blood pouring out of Ryan and it smelled like a freshly butchered deer.

The smell was so strong that Jeff’s stomach cramped and he too fell to the floor in front of his eviscerated friend.

At this Ryan whimpered in weakened, breathless gasps but not stopping his disembowelment, “Fucking eat me, dude. Eat that shit.”

Jeff, dazed with horror, grabbed one of Ryan’s torn bowel loops. It convulsed to his touch and was slippery to hold. As he held Ryan’s intestines he could feel the powerful contractions go from one side of his hand to another. He was shocked at this and almost dropped it. The mix of fecal fluids and blood ran down his arms in pulpy threads.

Ryan stared at Jeff. The only noise coming from Ryan’s mouth now was of an impossibly long and low gutteral exhalation.

Jeff tugged on Ryan’s bowels in order to further free them.

N.B I did not write it. Mods don't ban me.

Don't you love it when people creep you the fuck out?