How are you? Have a nice day, and by the way, go FUCK YOURSELF!

Here is an off topic that I believe some of you can get behind. 

I work in a job where customer service is very important. I have to talk to a lot of people every day. I always have to be polite and appropriate. I have customers come up to me and ask all kinds of questions.   "Where is this?" "Where is that?" "How do I get this or that?" Now that I have you up to par, here is the short story: 

A customer comes up to me and tells me, for the purpose of the story we will call him BOB. Bob comes up to me and tells me that he is not having a good time. I ask him what was wrong and Bob says that he is having a bad day. I ask Bob if there is anything I can do for him. Bob says that I can't do anything and that my company is horrible and that I am not good at my job. I ask Bob if he would like to fill out a comment card about how he feels and any ideas on how we can be a better company for him in the future and he says that he doesn't want to waist his time filling out a stupid form. Bob then continues to bad mouth my company for another ten minutes, more time than it would have taken to fill out a comment card mind you, and then leaves. I tell Bob that I hope his day gets better as he leaves, BUT, I wanted to tell Bob was that he can go Fuck himself and that I really don't give a flying Fuck what he thinks about my company. If I were to say that to Bob though, I would lose my job.  
Now here is my question to the GB Forum Kiddies out there in GB Land: 

I know that most of you work at a job that you have to refrain from saying what you really feel. Without getting into to much detail about where you work or who you want to tell to fuck off. Tell us a story about BOB pissing you off at your job and what did you REALLY want to say to BOB?

BOB was busting my balls for being a bit slow at doing something I'd never done before (I was 2 days in to the job). Held my tongue that time.
 
 BOB was paying me about $300 (NZD) a week to physically kill myself for 10 hours a day 6 days a week.  Kept treating me like shit.
 
I told BOB to go fuck himself.

i would have told Bob that he can piss the fuck off.

In my industry I come across about 100 BOB's a day. I might not be able to say to them "fuck off", but each and every one of them leaves the premises knowing exactly that, that is what's on my mind.

Ah yes, service jobs. You'll find that you won't develop the patience needed to look away from the "incompetence" of people who work in those sectors untill you've actually worked there yourself, and thus understand that it's not the front guy's fault that shit isn't working properly. I worked as tech support for a broadband company, and yes, there were plenty of Bobs there. It was obviously my fault that some jackass had managed to dig through a line while making a roundabout, on the other side of the country, and I was to be held personally responsible for it.
 
Remember though, there are plenty of ways to tell Bob to go fuck himself, but with subtlety.

when one gives me lip i make them feel like a child without any rules broken. they know they are in fact ignorant of the way shit works and without me they have to go elsewhere or try pounding sand up their ass for all i care.

When I was a bagboy a lady got mad at me for putting a bag of bread on top of a bag of cucumbers 
 
She told me I would squish her vegetables. 

" When I was a bagboy a lady got mad at me for putting a bag of bread on top of a bag of cucumbers  She told me I would squish her vegetables.  "

Oh, hey there BOB. 
 

Yup, i work at Asda in the petrol station, an i have at least 50 Bobs a day complaining about going over by a penny, an that it clearly must be my fault that they cant let go of a friggin lever in time......i hate people.

One night I was overseeing guest control at Disneyland. During one of the night shows we had people who were standing in the sitting area, now we of course make sure people sit in said area unless it's the last show of the night and there are too few people to matter one way or the other, so we sometimes let them stand where they want. 
 
Now we had a new person who did not know this so she told Boberella (Bob here is a woman) to sit in her seat. Boberella started arguing with the new employee, and I intercepted to help fix the situation before it got out of hand. I told Boberella to sit in her seat nicely. Then I walked away to check a different area. 
 
Boberella comes up to me pissed, yelling at me saying that others were standing and that I was discriminating against her. I realized that I had done wrong, and apologized to her, but that wasn't enough. Boberella continued to yell at me, and I had had enough of her anger. I had to be elsewhere and I wasn't going to allow her to take up anymore of my time, especially since I already apologized. She kept going and then she said, "I'm missing the show because of you!"
 
To which I replied, "Ma'am, you're missing the show because you're over here yelling at me!" Boberella did not take to kindly to this and demanded my name so she could report me. I happily displayed my name tag to her, then I walked away. 
 
I guess what I wanted to say to Bob was "I already apologized to you. So sit your fuckin' ass back in your chair! And stop wasting my time!"