How do you eat a chocolate bar?

you're talking about something like a Hershey's bar where it is segmented I assume. on occasions that i eat a candy bar, I tend to eat things like Snickers and Milky Way that are just a plain old bar. Those I cut into portions with a knife and eat with a fork (i am not a savage, dammit). I can't remember the last time i ate a chocolate bar that came pre-segmented. sorry, can't vote here, i guess.

I just... bite it. Is that not normal?

I break off the precut pieces.

No, but you are insane.

I break off a row along the lines and then eat it like a breadstick, disregarding lines when biting.

i bite into it wrapper and all and die from the artificial ink poisioning :)

The first one, but most of the candy bars I eat are not segmented as such.

I rub the chocolate bar on my body and absorb it through my skin.

i must admit... i can't sue you for slander.

With a fork and knife.

1) Detach jaw like cobra snake

2) Insert full bar into throat

3) Swallow

EDIT: Someone mentioned Snickers which reminds me of my strategy: freeze Snickers bars, cut them with a knife, have delectable hard nougats. It's awesome.

With my butt.

Melt in the microwave and eat it like pudding.

You all do this right?

.........riiiiight??

This is truly the only answer. Also, I'm a monster apparently because when I have a Hershey's I don't give a fuck about how the man wants me to eat my chocolate.

erotically

Name as many candy bars as you can that are pre cut. I'll start.

• Hershey's
• Caramello

That is all I know. Are there any more? And would Kit Kats count for this? Are those considered bars?

Man, candy is so confusing.

I melt it down and make it into delicious confections.

Grind it down and snort it with a $100 dollar bill.

I just bite into it. I'm typically driving down a highway at the time so I don't exactly have a hand available to break off a piece.

I will break off the pre cut pieces if I'm sharing it with someone, but if it's just me eating it, I will disregard the pre cut pieces and eat it like anything else.

I stick it in and break it off. If I get chocolate I tend to get a large slab not just a shitty bar.

Also I have English chocolate, none of this waxy American horse shit.

I tried some Hersheys the other day. How do you people live with that garbage?

With great shame and intense self-loathing.

What am I, a beast?

Of course I'll rip off individual sections and then eat off pieces of that. Just biting into it regardless of how it is divided is utter madness.

Depends on my mood. Sometimes I just want to shove it in my face as hard and quickly as possible. This doesn't allow for the dainty removal of individual pre-cut segments like I'm some toddler having a fucking tea party. FUCK YOUR LITTLE FINGER. I jam that shit fist first down my throat. Knuckles hitting teeth is collateral damage. Blood enhances flavor.

Sometimes i will eat an Aero without breaking off individual pieces. It feels pretty great.

@canteu said:

They start feeding it to us as children and don't tell us there're other options. I grew up thinking I just didn't like chocolate bars.

I leave the bone in.

What is this Fork and Knife nonsense?

I take a tiny little nibble like those people in the commercials.

Like Slayer says - Piece by piece.

With two hands, a mouth and my wits.

I heat it up, mix it with a 2% glucose and 20% alcohol suspension, before I administer it intravenously through my arm (median cubital) vein.

How do you eat it, with your hands?

Dip it into my cola.

I eat it in pieces. I'm not really a big chocolate guy so I can only really eat a little bit at a time or the flavor is just too much. Like, say something along the lines of a regular sized Hershey bar or a Toblerone bar, those would take at least 2 or 3 days to eat by myself.

We don't really have a choice. Unless you go to a "candy" store where that's all they do, chances are the only thing you are going to see in US stores is stuff like Hershey, Dove, KitKats, Snickers, crunch bars.... Pretty much everything made by either MARS or Nestle. Not much else.

Whats some good stuff you guys have over there? I'm curious now.

Freebase that dirty shit. That's the only way I know how to party.

With my mouth.

Chocolate is something you put on stuff or coat stuff in. Solid chocolate is disgusting and people who eat it are gross. Yeah i said it.

The first choice isn't exactly what I do. The bars sold here usually have a grid pattern of pre-cut pieces, and I tend to break off one row of them (with 3 pieces each) at a time. So, not biting directly into the bar, but not eating the pieces on by one either.

I break off the pieces and eat them one by one, letting them melt in my mouth. It's the only way I enjoy it

There's no option for hot-chocolate enema!

I don't fucking care; it's chocolate!

(Oops voted for the wrong one. I more often do the first one than the second.)

It depends on the chocolate.

I might easily disregard the sections of this chocolate and just eat it however:

But in this case I always clearly break the pieces by the outlines, and eat them as such:

The clearly delineated outlines are pronounced, easily breakable, and provide reasonable dosages of the chocolate. Usually I break off a row at a time and hold it in a different hand as I eat it.

Sometimes a chocolate will have outlines that I use to try to separate the squares, but, because of the structure of the chocolate bar, end up having irregular breakings. It might not break easily and require some strength (which sacrifices precision), or just have weird shapes that are hard to break without disrespecting the outlines.

Gallery

I'm okay with this though. I'd rather go through a chocolate regularly, you know, to have measured quantities saved for later and stuff - but this doesn't bother me.

@fisk0: That's essentially what I do with Hersey's over here. I'll break off a segment (either a third or a half of the bar) and bit into that, and continue as such. I may eventually end up with one bar, in which case I eat that separately, I suppose. But I can't just break them off one by one; those bars are barely satisfying as a whole, a piece each would just feel like I was wasting my time.

I slowly lick it until it congeals into one delicious mess.

I stuff it in my big stupid face and forgot I even ate it.

If they are nice enough to include pre-cut pieces, then I'll break it up and eat it that way. To just bite through it all just seems very wrong, although that may have something to do with my OCD.

I just want to let you know that I was eating when I read that and damn near chocked on it while laughing.

Anyways, I can not stand chocolate or sugar sweets on my teeth, so I don't much like biting, if I can I'll break a piece off and suck on it, if not I'll bite a small chunk off and suck on that.

Depends. If it's a Kit Kat or a Toblerone I'll break it into pieces. My favourite candy bar is Butterfinger but they come broken in pieces anyway.

Surprised to see this thread has no love for Reese's though.