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Posted by artofwar420 (6905 posts) -

Hello duders. So many things have happened between my last entry and this one. Frankly, I feel I've become dumber somehow throughout the last few years. The more experiences I've gained the more stupid I feel. When I was 18 I was a straight up genius, but you can't be 18 forever.

Let me tell you, if you ever try being an adult do bank as much sleep as you can because currently sleep is like the rarest, signed pair of Jordans. Make of that analogy what you will.

Snapchat is not so bad
Snapchat is not so bad

Recently I found an old note from 2013 I wrote myself with the goals I wanted for myself, and I was surprised I managed to actually do them. Why is it that I feel so unfulfilled then? I thought reaching my goals would help me feel good or something.

What was it all for? All this fucking effort and sacrifice? So I can buy an 800K house? So I can get married? Kids? And then what? For what? Don't really feel like playing the dating game. I'm already anticipating the chess moves in my head, it all ending in a double checkmate. I just don't care for it. All in all, the past few years have been shit, but also not so shit. I guess that's what life is, just a big old blob of disappointments and successes.

What I'm saying is I've done the things, but without much meaning. For now my motivation has been to not be broke and have sweet shoes. Is there more to life than *fire emoji* kicks?

Tired of the grind, but the grind is all I've known. If only I had time to play some video games and watch shitty movies.

<>

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#1 Posted by Nick (873 posts) -

I don't know what to tell you without sounding cliche and shitty. Just try not to disappoint yourself because ultimately you're the arbiter of your own life.

Save some money, grab a backpack, and go travel for 6 months in another continent. Stay in hostels, take photos, meet new people, stay in touch with the people you meet, and do things you never thought you would. Go with a friend, go alone, it doesn't matter. Something like this was by far the most enriching experience I've had in my life. You will never look back on the mistakes you've made with regret if you learn from them, but you will always regret the chances you didn't take. Do this, now, while you're young.

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#2 Edited by Mike (17288 posts) -

You weren't a genius when you were 18, you just thought you were. That's why teenagers are so annoying. You aren't getting dumber, you are just realizing you aren't as smart as you once believed yourself to be. That's what happens to most people when they become adults.

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#3 Posted by Nick (873 posts) -

@mike said:

You weren't a genius when you were 18, you just thought you were. That's why teenagers are so annoying. You aren't getting dumber, you are just realizing you aren't as smart as you once believed yourself to be. That's what happens to most people when they become adults.

That's a very good point.

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#4 Posted by afields101 (94 posts) -

you gotta find time to do stuff you like to do, like back in the days of highschool and junior high.

In December, after years of working retail and going to school, I am finally a Network Engineer working for a private contract company here in the Bay Area, I work with tech all day long, talk tech all day (and video games) my co workers are awesome. I also work along side multiple police and law enforcement departments all over the bay area. Shit is so crazy getting into a police car and working on their tablets with an AR in the middle of the seats. Or seeing people in holding and just in disbelief that I have made it in a police station not in cuffs.

Back to the topic.... I saw myself at like 20 working retail and was not happy taking classes to just get by, I sat down and jotted down what I loved to do in my free time and focused all my energy on attaining a job that had to do with my interests. Now I'm happier than ever.

if you're not satisfied, write some stuff out, it usually helps me cope and you may find something awesome inside yourself.