i got the funniest E-mail today

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400_babies

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#1  Edited By 400_babies

Not  as long as it looks it just has a lot of line spacing.
Two Cows

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.

You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and

gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him

how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and

provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a

herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,

milk the other, and then pours the

milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to

yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd

one.
You force the two cows to produce

the milk of four cows. You are

surprised when one cow drops

dead. You spin an announcement to

the analysts stating you have

downsized and are reducing

expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want

three cows. You go to lunch and

drink wine. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are

one-tenth the size of an ordinary

cow and produce twenty times the

milk. They learn to travel on

unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at

cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all

blond, drink lots of beer, give

excellent quality milk, and run a

hundred miles an hour.

Unfortunately they also demand 13

weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't

know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have

five cows. You have some more

vodka. You count them again and

learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes

over however many cows you

really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any

creature's private parts.

You get a $40 million grant from

the US government to find

alternatives to milk production but

use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their

mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed

and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks she's

French, other times she's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with

the French cow. The French cow

wants control of the Flemish cow's

milk. The cow asks permission to

be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown

cow. Everyone votes for the best

looking one. Some of the people

who actually like the brown one

best accidentally vote for the black

one. Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how

to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out of

state tell you which one you think

is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big

udders.

 
seayjoel
online
Quote | Edit
 
Originally posted by rwomack
You gotta read this email!

Two Cows

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.

You push for higher taxes so the government can provide cows for everyone.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and

gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him

how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and

provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a

herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one,

milk the other, and then pours the

milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to

yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd

one.
You force the two cows to produce

the milk of four cows. You are

surprised when one cow drops

dead. You spin an announcement to

the analysts stating you have

downsized and are reducing

expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want

three cows. You go to lunch and

drink wine. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are

one-tenth the size of an ordinary

cow and produce twenty times the

milk. They learn to travel on

unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at

cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all

blond, drink lots of beer, give

excellent quality milk, and run a

hundred miles an hour.

Unfortunately they also demand 13

weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't

know where they are.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have

five cows. You have some more

vodka. You count them again and

learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes

over however many cows you

really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any

creature's private parts.

You get a $40 million grant from

the US government to find

alternatives to milk production but

use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their

mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed

and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks she's

French, other times she's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with

the French cow. The French cow

wants control of the Flemish cow's

milk. The cow asks permission to

be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown

cow. Everyone votes for the best

looking one. Some of the people

who actually like the brown one

best accidentally vote for the black

one. Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how

to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out of

state tell you which one you think

is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big

It's a long read

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DualReaver

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#2  Edited By DualReaver

Tl;dr

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Black_Rose

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#3  Edited By Black_Rose

Not funny

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HazBazz

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#4  Edited By HazBazz

Isn't 'You Have 2 Cows' an Uncyclopedia meme?

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Jotun

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#5  Edited By Jotun

I enjoyed that. Thanks for the laugh.

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kmdrkul

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#6  Edited By kmdrkul

lol @ the Belgian one

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deactivated-5e12c8fcf3f2c

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not very funny, and its repeated in your post.

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OGCartman

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#8  Edited By OGCartman

It wasnt that good, intersting though =P

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Bennyishere

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#9  Edited By Bennyishere

It was a little funny.

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Aarny91

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#10  Edited By Aarny91

That was something else.

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k_ozz

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#11  Edited By k_ozz

Its funny.. Not funny haha.. Just a ha..

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Jolly_Lolly

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#12  Edited By Jolly_Lolly

*shudders from the massive wall of text*

only read the California one, AHNOLD AHNOLD :o

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Megalon

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#13  Edited By Megalon

Meh, it was ok. I'm doubtful that is the funniest e-mail you've received, but to each his own.

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Blu_Magic

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#14  Edited By Blu_Magic

That was pretty good.

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semicolon1twlev2

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#15  Edited By semicolon1twlev2

Wow, that's a long one.

*in before "That's what she said"*

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#16  Edited By 100

That was okay, had one or two smiles.

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AndyWilliams24

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#17  Edited By AndyWilliams24

Maybe it's just me, but I failed to see the funny side.

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SaintLReviews

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#18  Edited By SaintLReviews

i really didn't laugh at all....nice try though