I hate puppies.

moderator edit (poop to puppy) :D

Every freaking morning I have to let my puppy out.. I'll be doing something and "nope", the puppy says. Gotta let me out. Oops, I forgot my phone and now I have to experience this without anything to entertain me.

Then I have to play patty cake with my puppy and his ball for what seems like forever sometimes (yeah yeah animal lovers SHUT UP).

PREACH

Round 2, the poop says. Go fuck yourself, the poop says. This will be a dirty one, the poop says. So dirty you're going have to turn around and pray to baby jesus there's toilet paper on the shelf behind you, the poop says.

Your mum poops.

Game over.

:D

Poop discriminates against no man.

You can even poop in a can.

It keeps you prisoner, you see.

For the toilet is your cell, not some party.

" Oops, I forgot my phone and now I have to experience this without anything to entertain me. "

Nailed it.

Although, if you haven't pooped in a while, it does feel like a weight has been lifted...or dropped, which is nice.

Butt my least favourite part is sitting on a cold toilet seat. Probably not so much of a tissue with hotter countries.

It's one of my skills.

I'm expanding the whole changing profanity in thread titles to puppy initiative to now include topics that normally would have just been deleted. With heavy editing, of course.

@microshock Enjoy your new topic. Clean it up next time.

Gasp!!!!!

Poop is profanity? Is this whole thing a pun? Am I being punk'd?

Hahhaa. classic.

Well, everyone must own a puppy, it's the law. So suck it up.

@rorie is not gonna like this....

You're damn right you are!

Deleting or closing stupid topics is so 2013.

Oh no! The Anti-Rorie has arrived!

Great, now my last post looks random as fuck.

@sanj: Hah! Oh man...that is good. It can be deleted if you wish, but it's pretty funny.

Funny thing is, I started reading this topic thinking it was about puppies, but then had to take a break to go to the bathroom.

uhhhh...

2014 is starting off weird, guys.

Reading this thread without realizing the title was altered is really confusing and/or infuriating.

Also I was going to make a "I'm Matt Rorie and this is my least favourite thread on the forums" joke which would have been HILARIOUS cause memes, amiright? but now it seems kinda pointless.

This place is weird.

@mb: ...Meh, I'm not too bothered.

See? Not knowing what was edited makes this all confusing. Every puppy could be something naughty.

Every freaking morning I have to let my dick out.. I'll be doing something and "nope", the dick says. Gotta let me out. Oops, I forgot my phone and now I have to experience this without anything to entertain me.

Then I have to play patty cake with my dick and his ball for what seems like forever sometimes (yeah yeah animal lovers SHUT UP).

Everybody poops.

Everybody.

Well, that's just a general life truth.

Dang it's really hard to tell what's real and what's not with this new policy.

Is any of this actually real?

Well when I say "policy", what it really means is "I'm doing this now"

heh. Duly noted. I knew you were kind of doing whatever you want lately, but this is at least comparatively innocuous.

Isn't that a popular R.E.M. song?

I don't think I've seen a moderator go this mad with power since Sweep locked every topic in Sea Serpent. I like this website.

Edward Snowden poops.

What??! I LOVE puppying! It's so relaxing and beautiful! Who needs a phone?? Just feel it and enjoy the experience.

You're a monster, @mb, A MONSTER. Never change.

I hate puppy poop.

Does puppy mean poop in this sentence? I am so very confused.

My mind went to that one track in the Deus Ex: Human Revolution soundtrack.

Behold the cuteness, OP!

>:(

It's fun mad libing this shit back into its original context.

im too dumb to make any sense of this and also it's still too damn early so im just gonna leave :||||||||||

Every child should own a cat, a dog, and a fish, frog, snake or lizard in their lifetime. Everyone should own those pets because they teach you thing you cannot learn from humans. And, much like life you will meet all kinds and what you get helps you in different ways. Pets teach you how to care for things, how to put another being ahead of you needs, how to be responsible, but to be kind, loving and patient. And, pets teach you about death and sickness.

@sunbrozak said:

Too bad. Thought you made a stealthy reference to BLR.

You made my life. (You did not make my life)

That's pretty great though :)

Yeah well, I hate puppy haters. We all poop dude, even Barack Obama and his dog.