I have made a terrible mistake. D:

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wefwefasdf

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#1  Edited By wefwefasdf

Tomorrow, my girlfriend is coming over to spend the day at my apartment. While we were hanging out yesterday, I made a comment about cooking dinner for her. As soon as the words left my mouth I realized they were a mistake. Now, I know my way around the kitchen. I can cook most things over an open fire but I haven't actually made a legitimate meal in months... 
 
I need your help! I knows she loves Italian food. Anyone have advice on what I should make? Any recipes?

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RavioliSumo

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#2  Edited By RavioliSumo

Can't go wrong with lasagna.

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ztiworoh

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#3  Edited By ztiworoh
I've made this recipe a ton of times and it's really good. 
 

Ingredients:

  • 2 Tbs. olive oil
  • 1 yellow onion, chopped
  • 2 garlic cloves, minced
  • 3/4 lb. chicken or turkey sausage, casings 
      removed
  • 1 tsp. dried basil
  • 1 tsp. dried oregano
  • 1/4 tsp. hot red pepper flakes
  • 1 can (28 oz.) tomatoes in puree, tomatoes 
      coarsely chopped and puree reserved
  • Salt, to taste
  • 1 lb. penne pasta
  • 1 1/4 cups ricotta cheese
  • 2 cups shredded fontina or mozzarella cheese
  • 1/2 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese

Directions:

In a large Dutch oven over medium heat, warm the olive oil. Add the onion and cook until golden, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add the sausage and cook, breaking it up into bite-size pieces, until no longer pink, about 6 minutes. Stir in the basil, oregano and red pepper flakes. Add the tomatoes and puree and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer, stirring occasionally, until thickened, 10 to 12 minutes. Taste and adjust the seasonings with salt.

Preheat an oven to 350ºF. Lightly oil a baking dish. 

Bring a large pot three-fourths full of water to a boil over high heat. Salt the water, add the pasta, stir well and cook until barely al dente (tender but firm to the bite), 10 to 12 minutes. Drain well. 

In a large bowl, toss the pasta with the sauce, the ricotta and fontina. Spread in the prepared baking dish and sprinkle with the Parmigiano-Reggiano.

Bake until the cheeses are melted and the tips of the pasta are crusty, about 30 minutes. Let stand for 5 minutes before serving. Serve hot.
Serves 6 to 8.
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sjschmidt93

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#4  Edited By sjschmidt93

Those microwave mashed potatoes almost always pass as the real thing.

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kmdrkul

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#5  Edited By kmdrkul

Spaghetti is virtually idiot proof.  Go out and buy some frozen garlic bread, pop in the oven, BAM! Italian meal. 

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FrankCanada97

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#6  Edited By FrankCanada97
@SJSchmidt93 said:
" Those microwave mashed potatoes almost always pass as the real thing. "
No they do not, I can personally attest to this.
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deactivated-57aaaa9329732

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Cut a whole in a piece of salami and put your junk through it. 

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#8  Edited By FrankCanada97

Make sure there are some leftovers, anything with tomato sauce always taste better the next day.

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#9  Edited By marcusravenheart
 
@SpikeSpiegel:  
 
Another good one is  Chicken Parmesan  
  

Ingredients

  • 3 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary leaves
  • 1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
  • 1 teaspoon chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves
  • Salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 8 (3-ounces each) chicken cutlets
  • 1 1/2 cups Simple Tomato Sauce, recipe follows or purchased marinara sauce
  • 1/2 cup shredded mozzarella
  • 16 teaspoons grated Parmesan
  • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into pieces

Directions

Preheat the oven to 500 degrees F.

Stir the oil and herbs in a small bowl to blend. Season with salt and pepper. Brush both sides of the cutlets with the herb oil. Heat a heavy large oven-proof skillet over high heat. Add the cutlets and cook just until brown, about 2 minutes per side. Remove the skillet from the heat.

Spoon the marinara sauce over and around the cutlets. Sprinkle 1 teaspoon of mozzarella over each cutlet, then sprinkle 2 teaspoons of Parmesan over each. Sprinkle the butter pieces atop the cutlets. Bake until the cheese melts and the chicken is cooked through, about 3 to 5 minutes.


Simple Tomato Sauce:

  • 1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
  • 1 small onion, chopped
  • 2 cloves garlic, chopped
  • 1 stalk celery, chopped
  • 1 carrot, chopped
  • Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • 2 (32-ounce) cans crushed tomatoes
  • 4 to 6 basil leaves
  • 2 dried bay leaves
  • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, optional

In a large casserole pot, heat oil over medium high heat. Add onion and garlic and saute until soft and translucent, about 2 minutes. Add celery and carrots and season with salt and pepper. Saute until all the vegetables are soft, about 5 minutes. Add tomatoes, basil, and bay leaves and simmer covered on low heat for 1 hour or until thick. Remove bay leaves and check for seasoning. If sauce still tastes acidic, add unsalted butter, 1 tablespoon at a time to round out the flavors.

Add half the tomato sauce into the bowl of a food processor. Process until smooth. Continue with remaining tomato sauce.

If not using all the sauce, allow it to cool completely and pour 1 to 2 cup portions into freezer plastic bags. This will freeze up to 6 months. 

 
- Marc
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rjayb89

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#10  Edited By rjayb89

 Can't go wrong with some seasoned Italian meat
 Can't go wrong with some seasoned Italian meat
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#11  Edited By TheCreamFilling

Get a nice t-bone or ribeye and grill it up. If that's not love, I don't know what is. 

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MostlyHeadless

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#12  Edited By MostlyHeadless

This one is super easy and you will look like a fucking hero when she sees it. 
 
http://www.recipezaar.com/recipe/Easy-Fresh-Tomato-and-Basil-Pasta-178699  
 
Just ad some sourdough bread (or a baguette if sourdough isn't your bag) with a side of olive oil and balsamic vinegar (1:1) and you will, most definitely, be getting some tonight.

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sjschmidt93

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#13  Edited By sjschmidt93
@FrankCanada97 said:
" @SJSchmidt93 said:
" Those microwave mashed potatoes almost always pass as the real thing. "
No they do not, I can personally attest to this. "
You're buying the wrong ones. 
 
Or the people trying to trick you are.
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MostlyHeadless

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#14  Edited By MostlyHeadless
@rjayb89 said:

"

 Can't go wrong with some seasoned Italian meat
 Can't go wrong with some seasoned Italian meat
"
aaahhhh!
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blair

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#15  Edited By blair
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deactivated-57b1d7d14d4a5

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Fry (or bake or grill) up some Talapia. Easy and delicious. All you need to season is some salt, pepper, and lemon juice. Would probably go well with some dirty rice or something, something you can get in a box where you can follow the directions. It's not hard to throw something simple like that together.

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#17  Edited By landon

Order out and throw away the boxes. Done.

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#18  Edited By VoshiNova
@rjayb89 said:
"
 Can't go wrong with some seasoned Italian meat
 Can't go wrong with some seasoned Italian meat
"
That is one of the best things I've ever seen.
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MostlyHeadless

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#19  Edited By MostlyHeadless
@SJSchmidt93 said:

" @FrankCanada97 said:

" @SJSchmidt93 said:
" Those microwave mashed potatoes almost always pass as the real thing. "
No they do not, I can personally attest to this. "
You're buying the wrong ones.   Or the people trying to trick you are. "
How hard are mashed potatoes that you can't just make them from scratch? 
 
Peel, boil, butter, cream, salt, mash, done. 
 
Never have I had boxed mashed potatoes and thought they passed for the real thing. It's like someone trying to tell you that Tofurkey tastes like real turkey. 
 
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habster3

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#20  Edited By habster3
@SJSchmidt93 said:
" @FrankCanada97 said:
" @SJSchmidt93 said:
" Those microwave mashed potatoes almost always pass as the real thing. "
No they do not, I can personally attest to this. "
You're buying the wrong ones.   Or the people trying to trick you are. "

Yeah; those idaho baby red mashed potatoes ARE better than the real thing.
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deactivated-57b1d7d14d4a5

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@MostlyHeadless said:
" @SJSchmidt93 said:
" @FrankCanada97 said:
" @SJSchmidt93 said:
" Those microwave mashed potatoes almost always pass as the real thing. "
No they do not, I can personally attest to this. "
You're buying the wrong ones.   Or the people trying to trick you are. "
How hard are mashed potatoes that you can't just make them from scratch? 
 
Peel, boil, butter, cream, salt, mash, done. 
 
Never have I had boxed mashed potatoes and thought they passed for the real thing. It's like someone trying to tell you that Tofurkey tastes like the real thing. 
 
"

 
 
Uhm. Boxed mashed potatoes are made of dried potato flakes. It's not like they are made of beans or something. They don't have the taste or the texture of the best homemade mashed potatoes, but they do in fact taste like mashed potatoes (that's what they are). They're pretty damn good if you season it up with some butter and garlic powder, and yeah, it's a hell of a lot easier to make.
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MooseyMcMan

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#22  Edited By MooseyMcMan

Grill up some burgers. If you truly are a man, then the ability to cook slabs of meat should be in your genes. And if she's some sort of vegetarian...Then I say dump her and get a girlfriend that isn't a hippy! ;)  
 
You know, you could always just tell her the truth and that you don't know how to cook.  
 
Or...Make up some lie about how something came up and you can't cook dinner that day. Say that your long lost uncle that you never told her about was found in a ditch, and that you need to visit him in the hospital all day. 

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MostlyHeadless

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#23  Edited By MostlyHeadless
@Bellum said:

" @MostlyHeadless said:

" @SJSchmidt93 said:
" @FrankCanada97 said:
" @SJSchmidt93 said:
" Those microwave mashed potatoes almost always pass as the real thing. "
No they do not, I can personally attest to this. "
You're buying the wrong ones.   Or the people trying to trick you are. "
How hard are mashed potatoes that you can't just make them from scratch? 
 
Peel, boil, butter, cream, salt, mash, done. 
 
Never have I had boxed mashed potatoes and thought they passed for the real thing. It's like someone trying to tell you that Tofurkey tastes like the real thing. 
 
"

 
 
Uhm. Boxed mashed potatoes are made of dried potato flakes. It's not like they are made of beans or something. They don't have the taste or the texture of the best homemade mashed potatoes, but they do in fact taste like mashed potatoes (that's what they are). They're pretty damn good if you season it up with some butter and garlic powder, and yeah, it's a hell of a lot easier to make. "
Easy? Yes. Tasty? Noooo. But that's just my (not so) humble opinion. I'm sorry, I don't like my food freeze dried. I'm a dick.
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Impossibilium

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#24  Edited By Impossibilium
@Bellum said:

Uhm. Boxed mashed potatoes are made of dried potato flakes. It's not like they are made of beans or something."
 
Mashed Bean Potatoes.
 
I think there's a market for that.
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deactivated-57b1d7d14d4a5

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MostlyHeadless

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#26  Edited By MostlyHeadless
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@MostlyHeadless said:
" @Bellum said:

" @MostlyHeadless said:

" @SJSchmidt93 said:
" @FrankCanada97 said:
" @SJSchmidt93 said:
" Those microwave mashed potatoes almost always pass as the real thing. "
No they do not, I can personally attest to this. "
You're buying the wrong ones.   Or the people trying to trick you are. "
How hard are mashed potatoes that you can't just make them from scratch? 
 
Peel, boil, butter, cream, salt, mash, done. 
 
Never have I had boxed mashed potatoes and thought they passed for the real thing. It's like someone trying to tell you that Tofurkey tastes like the real thing. 
 
"

 
 
Uhm. Boxed mashed potatoes are made of dried potato flakes. It's not like they are made of beans or something. They don't have the taste or the texture of the best homemade mashed potatoes, but they do in fact taste like mashed potatoes (that's what they are). They're pretty damn good if you season it up with some butter and garlic powder, and yeah, it's a hell of a lot easier to make. "
Easy? Yes. Tasty? Noooo. But that's just my (not so) humble opinion. I'm sorry, I don't like my food freeze dried. I'm a dick. "
 
Only if you like mashed potatoes. I'm saying if you think they don't taste like mashed potatoes (which they are), your mind is playing tricks on you.
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EpicSteve

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#28  Edited By EpicSteve

Grill Steaks and get some potatoes. Too easy.

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strangone

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#29  Edited By strangone

Dude go to foodwishes.blogspot.com.
 
Video recipes, super easy to follow and real tasty.

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MostlyHeadless

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#30  Edited By MostlyHeadless
@Bellum said:
" @MostlyHeadless said:
" @Bellum said:

" @MostlyHeadless said:

" @SJSchmidt93 said:
" @FrankCanada97 said:
" @SJSchmidt93 said:
" Those microwave mashed potatoes almost always pass as the real thing. "
No they do not, I can personally attest to this. "
You're buying the wrong ones.   Or the people trying to trick you are. "
How hard are mashed potatoes that you can't just make them from scratch? 
 
Peel, boil, butter, cream, salt, mash, done. 
 
Never have I had boxed mashed potatoes and thought they passed for the real thing. It's like someone trying to tell you that Tofurkey tastes like the real thing. 
 
"

 
 
Uhm. Boxed mashed potatoes are made of dried potato flakes. It's not like they are made of beans or something. They don't have the taste or the texture of the best homemade mashed potatoes, but they do in fact taste like mashed potatoes (that's what they are). They're pretty damn good if you season it up with some butter and garlic powder, and yeah, it's a hell of a lot easier to make. "
Easy? Yes. Tasty? Noooo. But that's just my (not so) humble opinion. I'm sorry, I don't like my food freeze dried. I'm a dick. "
 Only if you like mashed potatoes. I'm saying if you think they don't taste like mashed potatoes (which they are), your mind is playing tricks on you. "
I'm sorry, you're not going to convince me on this one. Their dry, their powdery, their not good. I've had them multiple times in multiple kitchens and while they are never inedible I can always tell and am always left wishing they were fresh.
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deactivated-5fb7c57ae2335

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Everyone shut the fuck up about boxed mash potatos.  They're good. 
 
End of discussion.

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Dry and powdery? I have no idea WTF you are talking about.

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HS21

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#33  Edited By HS21
@rjayb89 said:
"
 Can't go wrong with some seasoned Italian meat
 Can't go wrong with some seasoned Italian meat
"
Perfect. Permission to /thread this bitch?
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deactivated-5997efb371d97

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Fuck that.  Fix something terrible, and make it seem like you gave your all.  She will never want you to cook again.

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s7evn

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#35  Edited By s7evn
@rjayb89 said:
"
 Can't go wrong with some seasoned Italian meat
 Can't go wrong with some seasoned Italian meat
"
mmm, tasty
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#36  Edited By ch13696

Well I don't know much about Italian food. However, there's a lot of things you can dish up with Top Ramen that turns it into pretty damn good food. What I do is cook up some hickory chicken breast, slice them up, chop up some green onions, and mix them in with some creamy chicken top ramen.

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iKANNIBAL

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#37  Edited By iKANNIBAL

There are like 4 italians currently in this house i'd ask them, but i'm too damn lazy, i could also call my mother or dad, but i'm also too damn lazy for that, gimme bout hmmm uhhh 5 hours and i'll get back to you.

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#38  Edited By vilhelmnielsen
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#39  Edited By MiamiRedHawks
Spaghetti & Cranberry/Walnut Salad
 
2 Cans of diced tomatoes
1 can of tomato paste
2 garlic cloves
1 tablespoon basil
1 tablespoon oregano 
1 pound of ground beef
 
Directions
 
1. Open the ground beef and brown it in a large pot. 
 
2. Once the meat is browned add the can of tomato paste. Mix until it is completely absorbed by the meat.
 
3. Crush the garlic and cook in with the meat until it is slight translucent.
 
4. Add both cans of diced tomatoes and stir all elements together. 
 
5. Add basil and oregano and stir. 
 
6. Simmer for an hour. 
 
7. Boil pasta noodles. 
 
Cranberry/Walnut Salad
 
1 head of lettuce 
1 large carrot 
1 package of walnuts 
1 package of cranberries 
Salt, Pepper, Oil, and Vinegar. 
 
1. Wash and cut a head of lettuce. Make sure to remove the "heart" of chunky part in the middle of the lettuce.
 
2. Cut carrots into small bite size pieces and add to salad bowl.
 
3. Add desired amounts of Walnuts to salad. 
 
4. Add cranberries to salad. 
 
5. Add Salt, Pepper Oil and Vinegar to salad and serve.
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Daveyo520

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#40  Edited By Daveyo520
@SpikeSpiegel:  Spaghetti is easy. It should be no problem.
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Kraft dinner and hot dogs, any woman would be impressed.

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#42  Edited By jonnyboy

Yeah Arrested Development was cool wasn't it. Ahhh memories.

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#43  Edited By MysteriousBob

Baked beans. 
 
1) Open can. 
2) Put beans in bowl. 
3) Microwave.

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#44  Edited By JJWeatherman
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#45  Edited By megaplushie
@odintal said:
" Cut a whole in a piece of salami and put your junk through it.  "
I LOL'd.
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wefwefasdf

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#46  Edited By wefwefasdf

You guys have all been very helpful. Several great recipes have been provided! I'm sure I'll be able to whip one of those up tomorrow. Thanks a bunch!

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#47  Edited By JustinSane311
@SpikeSpiegel:  The answer is simple.  Go out and buy a meal, set the table with some candles and flowers, then dirty up some pans and put them in the sink so it looks like you cooked a meal...Trust me I do it  all the time with my gf.