If you want to do something related to their internet social lives, you can get their usernames and passwords fairly easily since you have physical access to their computers (if they use a desktop rather than a laptop).
Buy a USB keylogger, it plugs in between their keyboard and PC, and is untraceable unless they get up behind their PC frequently.
Once you have their facebook account info, etc., the rest writes itself.
Kill their parents. And if any of their parents are already dead, dig them up from their respective graves, tidy them up a bit and sit them at your dining room table. Then, invite your friends over for dinner.
Buy a Kenny G CD / tape or whatever would go in that Mitsubishi Colt he's got. Get some epoxy, and epoxy the CD in, the power button on, and the whole faceplate if it has one, but save the volume knob for last. Make sure it's on repeat and everything.
You can keep the volume down while you set everything else up, so he won't notice, and then when you've got it ready to go, turn off his car, turn the volume all the way up and epoxy the volume button too.
I haven't created a topic in a while, but the time has come,
My "good Friends" have created a website, all it contains is one of my kinda shitty early pictures and a URL that is (mynameheartsthecock) and for your viewing pleasure
PM'S THAT EXIST FAR FAR LONGER THAN THEY HAVE ANY RIGHT TO EXIST!
I NEED YOUR HELP TO GET BACK AT MY MATES!
FIRST OF ALL. I have to commend u on this post. It is so pleasantly done. I actually found joy in it, which is disturbing because i have fallen into finding formatting funny...and thats not good. But good stuff.
Lightly sprinkle powdered milk onto their bedsheets.
While they sleep, it turns to milk with the sweat and oils of their skin, and sinks into their pores, and it doesn't shower off well.
They will smell like sour milk for a day or two.
That sounds awesome, but then I'll have to smell it cause I live with them, plus, that'd be awful
Do they travel?
Find some sizeable, metal vibrators /dildos and stash them in their luggage the next time they are getting ready to take a flight.
A long, metal cylinder in luggage is cause for concern, and the public display of having flight security pull a big dildo out of their bag would be great.
Bonus Points: have "Beiber <3" acid etched or bedazzled on it.
This. Period. I have seen no better prank. Hide a microphone or something in there so you can hear it later.
Lightly sprinkle powdered milk onto their bedsheets.
While they sleep, it turns to milk with the sweat and oils of their skin, and sinks into their pores, and it doesn't shower off well.
They will smell like sour milk for a day or two.
That sounds awesome, but then I'll have to smell it cause I live with them, plus, that'd be awful
Do they travel?
Find some sizeable, metal vibrators /dildos and stash them in their luggage the next time they are getting ready to take a flight.
A long, metal cylinder in luggage is cause for concern, and the public display of having flight security pull a big dildo out of their bag would be great.
Bonus Points: have "Beiber <3" acid etched or bedazzled on it.
This. Period. I have seen no better prank. Hide a microphone or something in there so you can hear it later.
"Uh... officer... that's... uh... not mine."
If you're looking for the dildos with the microphone and camera built in, you'll have to order that special from Japan.
Shit on all of your friends. Literally shit all over them while they sleep and then throw gasoline all over their shitty faces and then set them on fire. When all of their skin is gone, shit all over them again and then get Patrick Warburton, cut his head off and then glue a broom handle on to the top of his head and use his head as a hammer to smash all of their organs and bones up. Once everything is mashed up real good, gather all of the necessary ingredients (including the mashed up bones and organs) and then grab oprah and shove everything up her vagina (or asshole, depending on your sexual preference). Once everything is good and up there, shove Oprah into a river and then shit all over the river so that a shitty Oprah is flowing down a shitty river, then call your local council and complain about having a shitty Oprah in a shitty river. Once Oprah is safely extracted (now covered in disgusting shit) chop her up and put her in a pot (obviously all of the stuff you shoved up her vagina/asshole should already be part of her by this point) and then cook at gas mark 5 for about 18 hours. Once done, feed to your friends' mothers and watch with joy as your amazing, no, FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC plan is successful. Masterbate to preference.
@Red12b: Buy a load of butt plugs and lube and set the delivery addresses to their parents houses from your friends. AND get the site to set a little note saying something like: "You are the deepest any man has ever been up my juicy manhole, I love you so much! I can't wait to enjoy these toys together."
Shit on all of your friends. Literally shit all over them while they sleep and then throw gasoline all over their shitty faces and then set them on fire. When all of their skin is gone, shit all over them again and then get Patrick Warburton, cut his head off and then glue a broom handle on to the top of his head and use his head as a hammer to smash all of their organs and bones up. Once everything is mashed up real good, gather all of the necessary ingredients (including the mashed up bones and organs) and then grab oprah and shove everything up her vagina (or asshole, depending on your sexual preference). Once everything is good and up there, shove Oprah into a river and then shit all over the river so that a shitty Oprah is flowing down a shitty river, then call your local council and complain about having a shitty Oprah in a shitty river. Once Oprah is safely extracted (now covered in disgusting shit) chop her up and put her in a pot (obviously all of the stuff you shoved up her vagina/asshole should already be part of her by this point) and then cook at gas mark 5 for about 18 hours. Once done, feed to your friends' mothers and watch with joy as your amazing, no, FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC plan is successful. Masterbate to preference.
Um... that's pretty fucked up. Reminds me of what Cartman did to Scott Tenorman.
Put a paternity test result in the mail indicating they are 99.999999999% positive using one of their ex g/f's information. Indicate they are subject to child support including however many years of back pay dependent on how long it's been since he and the g/f broke up. Make sure it's an ex that he no longer has contact with. End it with some kind of "we will be in contact within the next few weeks" type thing. Should be easy enough for you to google up one from the internets to see what a real one looks like.
I googled it for you. Here you go. Bonus points if you can get in contact w/the girl and get her involved w/pics, story, whatevs. Your friend will shit bricks.
If one of them is seeing a new girl; leave gay porn, a bottle of lube, and 'used tissues' on their night stand right before the girl comes over. Or throw a blowup doll with Justin Bieber's face on it onto their bed.
Have them take the site down and never talk to them again. Don't get revenge, revenge never ends well.
(I wish we lived in a time where we stopped using "gay" as an insult, though, there's nothing wrong with being gay...)
There isn't. But the comedy comes from being associated with something you feel the opposite about. Setting up a website to make the guy look like a fan of some Disney singer would be similarly funny, I think.
If you can manage it, sign them up to Grindr on their phones and wait for the messages from local men to come pouring in, asking them to suck their dicks.
...man, gay guys got it so easy, my friend was literally laughing in my face when he showed me that app.
I'm going to let it rest for awhile, lull them into thinking that nothing is coming to bite them in the ass,
I like Sweeps idea of using text shortcuts on their iphones to spell out something, probably related to cock in some way, although I was thinking of something more insidious like changing a couple letters in a few words around, the dude in question is quite a meticulous speller, so if I can be subtle about it he might just notice it and wonder what's going on without figuring out I'm fucking with him, also, they both fly out a lot so I'll mettalic paint the top of their luggage in the same colour the bag is "I ♥ the cock" or something similar, maybe place a dildo in their carry on luggage I dunno,
I don't want to advertise them because they did the courtesy of not publishing that website fully you need the url to visit it and if I fuck with them too much they might publish it so it can be searchable,
Every time you see one of their cars rub dog shit all over their door handle. Keep some gloves on hand at all times and keep an eye out for dogs or animals that are close by if you think there vehicle will be near. If they dont have a car do it to their bike handle grips. If they dont have a bike do it to their front door handle. Randomly do it for a long...long time. Never let them know its you.
If you can manage it, sign them up to Grindr on their phones and wait for the messages from local men to come pouring in, asking them to suck their dicks.
...man, gay guys got it so easy, my friend was literally laughing in my face when he showed me that app.
The people who made Grindr make a similar app for straight folk too.
If you can manage it, sign them up to Grindr on their phones and wait for the messages from local men to come pouring in, asking them to suck their dicks.
...man, gay guys got it so easy, my friend was literally laughing in my face when he showed me that app.
The people who made Grindr make a similar app for straight folk too.
Shit in a bag and hide it in a nice spot in one of their homes, behind a TV, on top of a ceiling fan, or just give them the good ole upper decker (shitting in the upper part of the toilet).
Replace all liquids with Sprite. This might sound like a favor at first, but think; EVERYTHING.
Emtpy milk and juice cartons, fill em with Sprite. Empty cologne and deoderants, replace contents with Sprite. Cough syrup? Replace with sprite. mix their toothpaste with sprite. Mix shampoo bottle with sprite. All liquids in the house.
Because sprite makes shit way more disgusting and sticky than other sodas. Mountain Dew also works.
You should probably keep a stock of non-contaminated liquids hidden for yourself though.
Nah, It's my lawn too, (we're flatmates) and the one with a car isn't the type of person who'd give a shit about that, in fact.... I'm surprised he hasn't done that already himself, You know the badges on the back of cars that says the car model? He has renamed his car "CUNT"
it's pretty raw
My Apologies, it's actually
CUNT
MK II
I like your flatmate, you shouldn't prank him lol!
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