I think I may need to see the next twilight film

@csl316 said:

Is this what Red Dead Redemption was like?

In my experience, RDR was the exact opposite of this.

@Barrock said:

Read this summary of the film.

The third section shifts back to Bella's perspective, describing Bella's painful transformation and finding herself changed into a vampire and enjoying her new life and abilities. However, the vampire Irina misidentifies Renesmee as an "immortal child", a child who has been turned into a vampire. Because "immortal children" are uncontrollable, creating them has been outlawed by the Volturi. After Irina presents her allegation to the Volturi, they plan to destroy Renesmee and the Cullens. In an attempt to survive, the Cullens gather other vampire clans from around the world to stand as witnesses and prove to the Volturi that Renesmee is not an immortal child. Upon confronting the gathered Cullen allies and witnesses, the Volturi discover that they have been misinformed and immediately execute Irina for her mistake. However, they remain undecided on whether Renesmee should be viewed as a threat to vampires' secret existence. At that time, Alice and Jasper, who had left prior to the confrontation, return with a Mapuche called Nahuel, a 150-year-old vampire-human crossbreed like Renesmee. Nahuel demonstrates that the crossbreeds pose no threat, and the Volturi leave. Edward, Bella, and Renesmee return to their home in peace.

They made that paragraph a film.

And then Jacob falls in love with their child. The End.

@Trainer_Red said:

@NegativeCero said:

So does the werewolf fall in love with the baby? That is literally the only thing I know that happens at one point, at least on the book.

EWWWW.... You're lying. Please tell me you're just joking.

What kind of shit is this? Now I must watch it.

NO JOKES

BUT DON'T WORRY SHE'LL GROW UP HELLA FAST SO IT'S ALL COOL

I highly anticipate the How Did This Get Made? review. Looks bananas.

@believer258: I can assure you that this year's Underworld did not do most of those things on camera. This year's Underworld was fucking blaaaaaand.

@TheSouthernDandy said:

@Rafaelfc said:

@TheSouthernDandy said:

@Rafaelfc

@Barrock said:

So if you read that description you'll notice a lack of any action. Because there isn't any. That's how the book ends.

The film has a giant battle where a whole bunch of people die. But then it's revealed it's a what if scenario and they all leave happily ever after.

that battle though, might rank as best battle sequence of the year, GODDAMN there were decapitations!!

rest of the movie was hot garbage, ugh

Best battle of the year? Did you not see Avengers sir? Mothertruckers destroyed New York! Hulk punched a giant robo eel in the FACE. I rest my case.

Nothing wrong with the Avengers battle scene, in fact I love that movie, BUT!

We’re talking about a guy opening a rift in the earth down to the planet’s core and werewolves being hurled into it. We’re talking about a guy getting the top of his head above the jaw ripped off S-L-O-W-L-Y. We’re talking about two vampires flying through the air at each other, landing ten feet apart, stopping like samurais, before the camera reveals one character’s severed head in the other’s hands. A werewolf approaching a wounded guy with an arm sticking out of it's mouth, dropping it and proceding to eat the guy alive. Motherfuckers on both sides of the fight get DESTROYED in this.

The film is a piece of shit, but this sequence, man, so goddamn batshit insane.

Hmm. Alright I'll youtube that scene but no way am I seeing that movie. I was forced to see the first and that was all I could handle.

Also Hobbit will probably have some 'battles of the year' scenes.

I keep forgetting Hobbit comes out soon, man I hope for some good battles Helms Deep was fucking brilliant film making. One of my favourite films Two Towers.

@Little_Socrates said:

@believer258: I can assure you that this year's Underworld did not do most of those things on camera. This year's Underworld was fucking blaaaaaand.

I meant the past three Underworld movies. I haven't seen the fourth and don't especially plan to.

@believer258 said:

@Little_Socrates said:

@believer258: I can assure you that this year's Underworld did not do most of those things on camera. This year's Underworld was fucking blaaaaaand.

I meant the past three Underworld movies. I haven't seen the fourth and don't especially plan to.

See, after seeing the fourth and only the fourth, I don't plan to see any of the other ones! Was trying to find a midnight showing of Red Tails, but there weren't any in the area, so @Commisar123 and I settled on Underworld 4. Let's just say he still says that was one of the best decisions we ever made, while I grumble and pout.

I only saw the first Underworld flick, but if I hadn't been on a date that was going alarmingly well, I would've left. That movie was stupid.

And yeah, I remember reading some really choice quotes from Robert Pattinson about Twilight when the first flick came out.

"When you read the book," Says Pattinson, looking appropriately pallid even without make-up, "It's like, 'Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself'. I mean, every line is like that. He's the most ridiculous person who's so amazing at everything.I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just coudln't do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated, the more i hated this guy, so that's how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he's a 108-year-old virgin so he's obviously got some issues there."

"...when I read [Twilight], it seemed like I was convinced Stephenie [Meyer] was convinced she was Bella and it was like it was a book that wasn't supposed to be published. It was like reading her sexual fantasy, especially when she said it was based on a dream and it was like, 'Oh I've had this dream about this really sexy guy,' and she just writes this book about it. Some things about Edward are so specific, I was just convinced - I was like, 'This woman is mad. She's completely mad and she's in love with her own fictional creation.'"

Cedric Diggory has some balls for shitting on his meal ticket like that.

@Little_Socrates said:

@believer258 said:

@Little_Socrates said:

@believer258: I can assure you that this year's Underworld did not do most of those things on camera. This year's Underworld was fucking blaaaaaand.

I meant the past three Underworld movies. I haven't seen the fourth and don't especially plan to.

See, after seeing the fourth and only the fourth, I don't plan to see any of the other ones! Was trying to find a midnight showing of Red Tails, but there weren't any in the area, so @Commisar123 and I settled on Underworld 4. Let's just say he still says that was one of the best decisions we ever made, while I grumble and pout.

They're not great movies. That said, they did have werewolf-killing, head-ripping, slow-mo actioning things in them. And Kate Beckinsale in tight leather. Well, two of them have that at least.

However, you don't need to see them. You can get a much better effect by putting two TV's next to each other and having a softcore porn montage on one with any number of gory R-rated action movies on the other.

@Animasta said:

@Trainer_Red said:

@NegativeCero said:

So does the werewolf fall in love with the baby? That is literally the only thing I know that happens at one point, at least on the book.

EWWWW.... You're lying. Please tell me you're just joking.

What kind of shit is this? Now I must watch it.

NO JOKES

BUT DON'T WORRY SHE'LL GROW UP HELLA FAST SO IT'S ALL COOL

That makes no sense.

@believer258 said:

@Little_Socrates said:

@believer258 said:

@Little_Socrates said:

@believer258: I can assure you that this year's Underworld did not do most of those things on camera. This year's Underworld was fucking blaaaaaand.

I meant the past three Underworld movies. I haven't seen the fourth and don't especially plan to.

See, after seeing the fourth and only the fourth, I don't plan to see any of the other ones! Was trying to find a midnight showing of Red Tails, but there weren't any in the area, so @Commisar123 and I settled on Underworld 4. Let's just say he still says that was one of the best decisions we ever made, while I grumble and pout.

They're not great movies. That said, they did have werewolf-killing, head-ripping, slow-mo actioning things in them. And Kate Beckinsale in tight leather. Well, two of them have that at least.

However, you don't need to see them. You can get a much better effect by putting two TV's next to each other and having a softcore porn montage on one with any number of gory R-rated action movies on the other.

See you all need to learn the joy of dragging @Little_Socrates to bad movies and then watching him agonize.

@Trainer_Red said:

@Animasta said:

@Trainer_Red said:

@NegativeCero said:

So does the werewolf fall in love with the baby? That is literally the only thing I know that happens at one point, at least on the book.

EWWWW.... You're lying. Please tell me you're just joking.

What kind of shit is this? Now I must watch it.

NO JOKES

BUT DON'T WORRY SHE'LL GROW UP HELLA FAST SO IT'S ALL COOL

That makes no sense.

she grows up faster because she was born from a vampire or something (like she'll mentally be like 16 when she's only been alive 6 years or something)

it's fucking terrible

@Animasta said:

@Trainer_Red said:

@Animasta said:

@Trainer_Red said:

@NegativeCero said:

So does the werewolf fall in love with the baby? That is literally the only thing I know that happens at one point, at least on the book.

EWWWW.... You're lying. Please tell me you're just joking.

What kind of shit is this? Now I must watch it.

NO JOKES

BUT DON'T WORRY SHE'LL GROW UP HELLA FAST SO IT'S ALL COOL

That makes no sense.

she grows up faster because she was born from a vampire or something (like she'll mentally be like 16 when she's only been alive 6 years or something)

it's fucking terrible

That's disgusting. Jacob is a dirty dog. Literally.

@Barrock said:

Read this summary of the film.

The third section shifts back to Bella's perspective, describing Bella's painful transformation and finding herself changed into a vampire and enjoying her new life and abilities. However, the vampire Irina misidentifies Renesmee as an "immortal child", a child who has been turned into a vampire. Because "immortal children" are uncontrollable, creating them has been outlawed by the Volturi. After Irina presents her allegation to the Volturi, they plan to destroy Renesmee and the Cullens. In an attempt to survive, the Cullens gather other vampire clans from around the world to stand as witnesses and prove to the Volturi that Renesmee is not an immortal child. Upon confronting the gathered Cullen allies and witnesses, the Volturi discover that they have been misinformed and immediately execute Irina for her mistake. However, they remain undecided on whether Renesmee should be viewed as a threat to vampires' secret existence. At that time, Alice and Jasper, who had left prior to the confrontation, return with a Mapuche called Nahuel, a 150-year-old vampire-human crossbreed like Renesmee. Nahuel demonstrates that the crossbreeds pose no threat, and the Volturi leave. Edward, Bella, and Renesmee return to their home in peace.

They made that paragraph a film.

This is what I keep telling everyone. Nothing fucking happens.

For these people that are wanting a vampire fight scene. From Dusk Till Dawn...cos that movie has a 40 minute fight. The Underworld movies.

And did any forget Blade?

YOU DON'T NEED A TWILIGHT FIGHT SCENE IN YOUR LIFE! Geez a 14 year old film achieves better CGI than Twilight.

And if you so desperate for a fucked up and violent bloody scene....Devilman has you covered. Extremely NSFW http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysLIlDFYuS0

And even then you still want worse.....type in Genocyber into youtube.

You dont need Twighlight in your life.

This thing is basically dead now, but for anyone reading this; Single GIFs do not require entire forum threads to themselves.