Well I went an did it. I went to the work function dressed as The Joker, but as the nurse in Dark Knight. Let me paint you a scary picture.
The make-up.
Having a house of 3 women, I had some good teaching on how to use make-up. Son in my suitcase goes 2 types of lipstick, eyeliner pencil, mascara, 2 types of eye shadow, white face paint, 2 types of green hairspray, cold cream (for removing make-up), cotton buds (Q-tips), skin lotion and some make-up brushes.Apparently, I am to apply the lotion first as it makes removing the make-up easier. I use the eye shadow below the mascara as it makes removing the mascara easier. I am learning stuff I never wanted to learn.
There I am in my room in Sydney and it is going to take a while to put it on. My room partner has not arrived yet and I need to start. So, there I am in my underwear, undershirt (more on that later) and a towel with a mirror and make-up all around me. Now, my roommate has no idea I am doing this and I have no idea who it was going to be. Clunk goes the door and in walks a senior manager. I was expecting someone lower down the corporate ladder. Quickly I explain what I am doing and why. I think he believed that I don't normally wear make-up.
What I learned about make-up.
Why do women do this to themselves? It is a pain in the arse. I found that I can put make-up on very well on the right side of my face, but the left side is near impossible. I just could not co-ordinate myself to get my hand in the right position. Are all women ambidextrous or just good at this stuff? Putting on lipstick is just pain weird. Making those lips was really hard and frankly, I didn't want to enjoy what I was doing. Hey, the Sydney Gay Mardi Gras is on in a couple of weeks, I am just early :/Well, I got my make-up on, so you can judge the result. Don't be too harsh :-)
The nurses dress.
I just hired a dress. That part was simple. However, it was pretty short. So short that there was a risk of exposing my bits. I think that would breach our Code of Conduct rules. How do women wear short skirts and skimpy underwear? I normally wear boxers, but for this, I wore briefs and my daughter's bike shorts. Yup, that's right, I wore her shorts - I don't have any.As scary as it is to admit it, that dress felt pretty damn good. It was a hot Sydney evening and I fared much better than my many sweaty colleagues. I won't be making it a habit though. As for an undershirt, I felt I needed one. The dress was low cut and although I had the boobs (moobs) to fill it out, I really needed to cover up a little more. I didn't have a suitable v-neck shirt for it, so again, into my daughter's wardrobe and out with one of her shirts. Believe me, that shirt was TIGHT. My daughter doesn't want it back - fair enough. I think it would give her nightmares.
The party.
Now for the horror that is me as a Joker dressed as a nurse.
In all honesty, it worked. I had a ball and was complimented all night about how good it came out. The first reactions when I walked into a crowd of fellow workers was priceless. Those who knew me were in hysterics. Going from my 10th floor room in the lift to the foyer of a very upmarket hotel was an unforgettable experience. What did come up a lot was questions on who did my make-up. They were just totally shocked that I did it myself. Some of the girls thought I was just freakin' scary and perhaps they were right.
For my effort though, I won $200 in vouchers, so it was really worth it.
Going out in public in drag.
During the evening I made several phone calls to home. As the noise was too much inside, I had to go out into the busy street in the middle of Sydney. I really enjoyed the reactions of passing strangers and I played it up for amusement. At the end of the evening, around midnight, buses came to pick us up. I decided that it was a lovely evening and walking back to the hotel at Darling Harbour would be much nicer. So I did. I got myself a few propositions, which I declined - they had the wrong plumbing. That was a pleasant and enjoyable 35 minute stroll.Getting the make-up off.
Yet again, I was left wondering, "why the hell do women use make-up?" I spent ages scrubbing my face, despite the efforts I went to making it easier. Luckily the mascara came off quickly, as they tell me that is the hardest. The lipstick - not so easy. I went to the meeting next morning with a faint, but visible line across my cheeks and lips. The hair colour took five washes to run clear and I had a bugger of a time getting green off the walls in the shower.So, there you have it. I had a blast. I promised photos and there you are. All the horror you should have expected. I
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