If you were an inanimate object what would you be and why?

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BiffMcBlumpkin

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#1  Edited By BiffMcBlumpkin

I would be a shoe, I don't have time to explain it right now.

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kornholio360

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#2  Edited By kornholio360

I would be a dildo, I don't have the time to explain it right now. ;)

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BiffMcBlumpkin

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#3  Edited By BiffMcBlumpkin

You're already a figurative dildo.

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WhySoSerious

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#4  Edited By WhySoSerious

A giant lamp so I could light up the world!

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Philanthropy

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#5  Edited By Philanthropy

A Cucumber

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mtgrill

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#6  Edited By mtgrill

An old school rotary phone, I don't have time to explain it right now.

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Dr_Feelgood38

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#7  Edited By Dr_Feelgood38

Companion Cube because I would never threaten to stab you.

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Vision

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#8  Edited By Vision

A stripper pole, i don't have time to explain it right now.

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Lepuke

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#9  Edited By Lepuke

A life size cow made entirely out of hamburger.

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Foil_Charizard

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#10  Edited By Foil_Charizard

A post-it that says i don't have time to explain it right now. I don't have time to explain it right now

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BiffMcBlumpkin

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#11  Edited By BiffMcBlumpkin

When will you guys be able to explain those things, because I'm kind of curious?

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CryingHero

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#12  Edited By CryingHero
I'd be fossil.. I've loads of time to explain :D. People would always be looking for me and when found me I'd be the center of attention and I'd be put in a museum where everyone would stare. Only messing, I'm not shallow. I'd probably be a brick...
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Foil_Charizard

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#13  Edited By Foil_Charizard
CryingHero said:
"I'd be fossil.. I've loads of time to explain :D. People would always be looking for me and when found me I'd be the center of attention and I'd be put in a museum where everyone would stare. Only messing, I'm not shallow. I'd probably be a brick...
"
Because that's how interesting you are?

=D jk, couldn't resist 
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mr_korean

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#14  Edited By mr_korean

I would be an animal cracker. Don't have time to expla- *runs away

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error11

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#15  Edited By error11
kornholio360 said:
"I would be a dildo, I don't have the time to explain it right now. ;)
"

lol same
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Kevin

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#16  Edited By Kevin

I would be an exploding barrel, I don't have time to explain it right now.



Btw, can we finally add "I don't have time to explain it right now." into the first of Giant Bomb's community inside jokes?

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Axersia

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#17  Edited By Axersia
kornholio360 said:
"I would be a dildo, I don't have the time to explain it right now. ;)
"
Dammit! Someone beat me to it already!
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Termite

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#18  Edited By Termite
Kevin said:
"I would be an exploding barrel, I don't have time to explain it right now.



Btw, can we finally add "I don't have time to explain it right now." into the first of Giant Bomb's community inside jokes?
"
Yes.

That and RAPIER!
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Blu_Magic

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#19  Edited By Blu_Magic

A lamp because lamps are awesome.

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BiffMcBlumpkin

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#20  Edited By BiffMcBlumpkin

You can't be a lamp, somebody else is already being a lamp.

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TheOGVandalvideo

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#21  Edited By TheOGVandalvideo

A rechargeable battery, because I like to turn things on.

Hiyo.

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Page1

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#22  Edited By Page1

Are cats inanimate objects? I want to be a cat.

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BiffMcBlumpkin

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#23  Edited By BiffMcBlumpkin

Cats are only really considered inanimate objects in the land of idiots.

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Page1

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#24  Edited By Page1

Okay then I would be a potato, it's been one of my life goals to be a potato.

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Oriental_Jams

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#25  Edited By Oriental_Jams

I would be a wall, I really do not know why either...I am a truly strange person.

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Batman

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#26  Edited By Batman
kornholio360 said:
"I would be a dildo, I don't have the time to explain it right now. ;)
"
I knew this would be the first post! :D
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henjin

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#27  Edited By henjin

A statue. One of those that lasts a long time that are made out of solid stone or marble or somthing

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sponge3164

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#28  Edited By sponge3164

speakers, hopefully to someone with good music taste D:

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WorldsFastestShrimpPeeler

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probably a door, i dont know why

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BiffMcBlumpkin

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#30  Edited By BiffMcBlumpkin
Oriental_Jams said:
"I would be a wall, I really do not know why either...I am a truly strange person.
"

Expect Terri Hatcher to run into you very soon.
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TeknoMeister

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#31  Edited By TeknoMeister

I think this thread is unfair to the inanimate objects. You should at least ask them what they would be if they were animate, but you don't even bother to care about how they feel.

I refuse to support your unjust ways.

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BulletPulse

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#32  Edited By BulletPulse

A planet.

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BiffMcBlumpkin

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#33  Edited By BiffMcBlumpkin

Don't open my thread to Uranus humor.

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outsidethewall

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#34  Edited By outsidethewall

The weird like paper holder thing on pen lids.

I guess I just like to help people.

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DJSneakyBear

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#35  Edited By DJSneakyBear

a pokedex...so i would know all boutz teh pokemanz-_-

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Apollo

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#36  Edited By Apollo

Stripper Pole or sex toy...

Although i suppose it would be torture.

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BulletPulse

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#37  Edited By BulletPulse
BiffMcBlumpkin said:
"Don't open my thread to Uranus humor."
Lol I didnt see that one coming. XD
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Ultimate_pwr_rngr

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I'd be an internet.

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Black_Raven

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#39  Edited By Black_Raven

First thing that came to mind was a dildo, but that could be pretty risky.

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Jonathan

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#40  Edited By Jonathan

An Inanimate Object? I would be Hayden Christensen. ZING!

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Jotun

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#41  Edited By Jotun

A lighter, because there is one on my desk and he looks lonely.

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Schizoid

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#42  Edited By Schizoid
outsidethewall said:
"The weird like paper holder thing on pen lids.

I guess I just like to help people.
"
Some little kid will most probably throw you across the room.

I would be a speaker!
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RVonE

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#43  Edited By RVonE
Dr_Feelgood38 said:
"Companion Cube because I would never threaten to stab you.
"
That's actually really good :)
I would prbably be a bed because I want to be warm and cosy.
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Mello

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#44  Edited By Mello

....wait... when you become the inanimate object would it become animated? or would it stay inatimate? 


i dont think i would ever want to be inanimate... but if it were to animate, i would be....

a puppet....
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RVonE

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#45  Edited By RVonE
Mello said:
"....wait... when you become the inanimate object would it become animated? or would it stay inatimate? 

i dont think i would ever want to be inanimate... but if it were to animate, i would be....

a puppet....
"
Interesting twist. I guess it would be animated, otherwise you wouldn't know you are an inanimate object.
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Tridgen

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#46  Edited By Tridgen

i would be a huge speaker :p

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Apollo

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#47  Edited By Apollo
Mello said:
"....wait... when you become the inanimate object would it become animated? or would it stay inatimate? 

i dont think i would ever want to be inanimate... but if it were to animate, i would be....

a puppet....
"
You can never learn anything from someone who wants a hand shoved up their ass...
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whyzenheimer

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#48  Edited By whyzenheimer
And on the tenth day....
And on the tenth day....
Yes, I would definitely be a McGriddle.  Sweet, delicious, and deadly.  I would be placed by my minions in the dressing rooms of my favorite starlets.  With no fear of being eaten, touched, or spoken to by them I could simply watch them undress without fear of ruining the fantasy by actually interacting with them.











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DisAbiLityFisHy

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#49  Edited By DisAbiLityFisHy

ReTarDedFisHy would be... a Giant Bomb.
'nuff said.

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MrMiyamoto

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#50  Edited By MrMiyamoto

I'd be CANDLEJACK because he will nev