Passing Time Without Wifi

Somehow my next vacation ends up being to a resort with no wi-fi. There's a Starbucks a few miles away, but I'm not going on vacation to spend a week at Starbucks. Suggestions for not going nuts that week?

Thanks!

Hefty amounts of pornography and Brad photobomb jpegs.

Edit: in seriousness I download a bunch of TV shows to watch in the evenings if I'm at a place with no WiFi, that way if there's nothing good on TV we have something to watch when we're back at the hotel/resort for the night. Maybe you could also pick up some cheap Steam games such as Frozen Synapse to play, since that works on almost anything and works quite well with laptop touchpads.

Have fun on the resort?

errm the beach? getting royaly plastered? having fun with other people?

defo stock up on porn if your the type of guy who probs isnt going to hook up.

Cut yourself off the internet for a few days, that's what I do when I go on vacations.

Get some fresh air, dude. No internet for you!

Minecraft.

Try life.

Yep, enjoy your internetlessness. But also porn.

Fill up a mp3 player with tunes and bring one of those battery powered speaker set ups. Drink at the beach and relax like a cool dude.

Read a book.

Burn a book.

Sleep

Don't go if you think you'll be bored? Other than that...masturbate? 
@billyhoush said:

Fill up a mp3 player with tunes and bring one of those battery powered speaker set ups. Drink at the beach and relax like a cool dude.

Ditto on the sleep thang

Pretend you're at Wii Sports Resort.

Whatever you do, don't go outside, and don't have fun. I would stay inside sitting at my computer hitting F5 until the page reloads.