@seikenfreak: Horror movies are way less terrifying and way more fun with a crowd so I recommend seeing it tomorrow if you can when you have a better chance of seeing it with an audience.
HEREDITARY: 4/5 Feel-good movie about family bonding. Okay, not really. The overwhelming feeling of dread and tension (and plot, actually) reminded me a lot of THE WITCH, but I feel that this is a vastly superior film. Oh and Toni Collette is fantastic and should be in more things.
the last movie i watched was "the happening", i always wondered why it never came on tv or when they did a "shamilan-athon" with his other works.....and i now know why.
i had no idea what it was about untill they showed the first long shot on the trees, and i just knew the plants were up to this.
the only good part was when marky mark said that famous meme line "what? noo"
other than that it was crap, not worth the $3 i paid at goodwill for.
@spire88: I watched that movie once, forgot it completely. Caught it on tv again after a few months and thought ”Oh, I haven’t seem this one”, watched it again only to realize 30 min into it that I had already seen it. Cut to a year later and I find it on dvd for cheap and think, again, that I had not seen it. Only to, again for the second time, realize I have seen this film twice before and never actually thinking it was worth my time the first time. I am just waiting for the moment it will catch me off guard again.
Man I cannot remember the last movie I watched... according to my Netflix watch history it was Lupin the 3rd: The Castle of Cagliostro back on May 20th of this year and it absolutely pains me because it is an anime movie and I don't typically watch anime outside of Hayao Miyazaki who this movie happens to be by.
It was alright... I think... I mean I honestly cannot remember it and now that I think back I think I fell asleep during it.
Downsizing (2017) Five out of five.
Rare, amazing movie, that is thoroughly original and unpredictable, with a star-studded cast of my favorite actors. Yet, it was largely panned by the reviewers (51% tomatometer), who in turn fall over themselves praising brain dead, written by formula super hero garbage like Wonder Woman. (1 out of 5, didn't finish)
In Downsizing the protagonist DOESN'T chase a MacGuffin, doesn't assemble a crew to rob a casino or doesn't CGI fight the big bad at the end. Rather it's about a grown-up/beaten-down good guy Matt Damon making difficult choices and struggling with the consequences. I think the movie largely succeeds in portraying people and society react believably and realistically to its goofy premise of people shrinking.
Just like today's superhero movies or the high-concept movies of the 80's and 90's Back to the Future, Inner Space, Ghostbusters you wouldn't really call this science fiction. It's listed as "Drama, Comedy" even though it's also a disaster film tapping into the fears over climate change, overpopulation and the (permafrost) methane release. It's a comedy in so far that there is some gallows humor like in that divorce papers scene. Downsizing ends up being about how trauma can change your outlook on life. Imagine you have retired and now have to choose between trying to selflessly save humanity, drink and party yourself to death or semi-selfishly choosing the third option that isn't that obvious any longer. Told from the male perspective this is definitely not a chick-flick, which is likely responsible for some of the unfair criticism this movie has received.
Incredibles 2 is a dazzling visual experience that's worth seeing on the big screen. Honestly, as good as Pixar is at storytelling, I think I've been wow'ed more by Square and Blizzard's CG work but I2 moves beautifully and I'd recommend game enthusiasts to check it out. The movie itself is a very fun ride full of humor but the plot is painfully unoriginal. Lastly, the movie focuses on Elastigirl (the mom) so if you don't like her for w/e reason, you're sol.
Avengers infinity wars 2.5/5
I liked it. I like star wars. I get why some people get upset and say they make too many star wars movies now and not all of them are top notch, but has someone who spent years waiting for new ones I'm fine with them rolling them out nonstop. I feel the same way with marvel movies. I would rather dozens of movies from a franchise with some being less than great vs having 2 or 3 near perfect gems. I like Solo cause it tells a simple story of Han, Chewy and Lando that can be squeezed into the rest of star wars fiction. The fact that it by it's self is a full story is why I like it so much more than avengers. I hate cliffhangers in movies, at least up till the point where I can watch them back to back. I sat here for 3 hours and can't tell you how things end, I don't care it. Star wars though was random 2 hours of small piece of total universe. I hope they keep pumping more movies out of both these franchises.
I, what, people liked Hereditary? The hell is wrong with you? Granted I just got out of a Russian dub of the film (distributors weren't doing the English original - and gee whiz I just can't imagine why!), but I severely doubt the stellar dialog wherein everything we just saw gets explained to us did anything in its favor in the original.
It's as bad and incoherent as Three Billboards. It's trying to be all sorts of horror films at once and failing miserably at every single one of them. The characters are all firmly unlikeable, especially the child. Toni Colette is actually a good actress (didn't y'all watch Imperium in 2016?) but spends most of her time here doing bad Shelly Duval impressions.
I've absolutely no fucking clue what the director is doing apart from ripping off parts of Lost Highway and using pounding dance music as a flat out bizarre leitmotif on top of heavily borrowing. The plot is such a fucking shambles (what does Gabriel Byrne do exactly and why do we only find that out 3/4s in?) that the attending crowd burst out laughing repeatedly.
It's an extremely bad sign when a film reminds you of other better films. Hereditary is trash and an unscary farce. Avoid.
Sleepaway Camp - 4/10
Too obvious who the killer was going to be and the acting is the scariest part of it.
I was a little shocked at the pedophile character, hard to see the stuff he said flying in a movie nowadays. Definitely did a good job at making you think he's a disgusting piece of shit.
HEARTS BEAT LOUD: 4/5 If Nick Offerman was my dad, I'd join his band in a heartbeat (groan-inducing pun intended).
MOM AND DAD: 3/5 I was kinda loving this, but it ended so abruptly that it left a sour taste in my mouth. My wife wasn't into it, but can you blame her considering what it's about? Unhinged Cage is the best Cage, so come for that and the violence against kids, but be prepared for that ending.
The Incredibles 2, 4/5. A ton of fun, a real crowd-pleaser. As in the first movie, the best parts were not so much the action or the plot but the relatable family dynamic. You could read it as a metaphor for trying to achieve some kind of work-life balance. I was a little wary of Jack-Jack taking up to much screentime with cartoony silliness, but he ended up being pretty hilarious. The only real downside was the villain and the overall plot, which really didn't make a hell of a lot of sense.
Why is she so obsessed with keeping superheroes illegal when they were *already* illegal at the time of her father's murder? It makes me wonder if there was more material with her that was cut. A monologue giving her a convincing argument as to why people should fend for themselves, rather than trusting in superheroes to save them, would have made her more sympathetic. Regardless, why the elaborate plan? Why not just ruin her brother's plans to make them legal by stealing his money or something? And speaking of which - Bob Odenkirk's character was not very interesting. He didn't seem to serve any dramatic purpose other than being a foil to his sister.
Just watched Death Wish on VOD. I was worried going in because Eli Roth is responsible for it, Bruce Willis hasn't been in good shit since forever, and the reviews were pretty negative. Came out pleasantly surprised. Big, dumb, revenge movie with some good gore effects and fun action scenes. Bruce Willis is actually trying to act in this one, too. Honestly, I think it's underrated and one of the better remakes. 6.5/10
The Man From Nowhere
Really solid movie. The cuts in the action scenes were too frequent and the plot was a little boilerplate, but it was enjoyable throughout.
As been-there as the general plot beats were, they progressed through them in an interesting way where it feels like the movie was approached differently as the plot unfolded. It felt
like a VERY different movie than the one I started by the time it finished.
Had high hopes for this movie. They were quickly dashed. This movie felt like a sequel to a movie that does not exist. There is hardly any back story to any of the characters. The only one who does have a backstory is the nurse, and it does not weave very well for the narrative. Every performance is forced or cliche. Batista acts like a watered down Drax, Charlie Day feels like he’s attempting to be a 1920s gangster, but still has the Charlie feel to the character so you can’t take him seriously. Most of the plot points don’t matter, don’t make sense, or are far too convenient to seem satisfactory. To make matters worse, the characters are all criminals, so it’s kind of hard to really care whether they live or die, and given that the final act is a race to escape the hotel, it feels very flat.
I recommend everyone pass on this turd.
DRIVE: 5/5 (rewatch)
It's an appealing fantasy: a strong and silent mechanic, who is a stunt driver, but also a psycho, part time gangster and aspiring race driver. It's like the Sopranos and Days of Thunder took Carey Mulligan behind the middle school. Somehow despite descent acting, there is nothing about the movie that rings even remotely true or seems a realistic depiction. Style over substance. I guess, Style is really just a different word for fake.
It's the lack of any sense, the stupid ending and Gosling being a psycho, that bothers me. Then again, taking the guy who's wife you intend to bang, on a robbery setup, while pretending to help, is very much a psycho thing to do. I'd give a (3/5) on rewatch, but I'd recommend a much more memorable movie with the same cute as a button actress, called An Education (2009) (4/5).
Finally watched this after 10 years and I wasn't missing anything. This movie is tragic. The worst part to me isn't even the excessive CG and the like, it's what an afterthought the villains were. Highlighted by the half-assed Nastasha-like performance by Cate Blanchett and the bumbling, pointless Ray Winstone, I was mad whenever they were on the screen. I remember people bitching about Shia LaBeouf way back when but I thought he was far from the worst part of this movie. Also how they felt the need to have a callback to a million things from earlier movies was stupid and I hated it, but wasn't too surprised. I wonder if there's a good fan edit of this movie because I felt like there was almost an acceptable movie in there somewhere. 3/10
Knew next to nothing about this movie going in. Just saw some really good reviews from critics and audiences and the entire premise sounded right up my alley. Never have I been so pleasantly surprised. Upgrade wears a lot of hats, with a prominently dark mood undercut with a lot of grim humor and visceral, violent action. It delivers a clever execution on a lot of familiar sci-fi/cyberpunk tropes. While the plot could've been assembled from various parts of any number of other stories in the same setting, the route it takes to get from beat to beat is often compelling and original, and never not entertaining. The action sequences are contain a lot of neat visual tricks that make them stand out, allowing Leigh Whannell to showcase his style within a different genre than we usually see him work within. There are some fantastically gruesome kills, but I would've liked to see the film deliver on the splatter front a little more. It already goes so far in that direction, but it stops just short of consistently offering up that exploitation-flick level of gore to really put it in that realm. Logan Marshall Green displays some pretty decent range as the lead, but it's his physical performance that really makes the film. I really loved Upgrade 5/5.
Another movie I knew basically nothing about, aside from the lame "SCARIEST MOVIE EVER MADE" marketing it received. This movie is so much more than that, and goes places I never would've guessed. The constant looming sense of dread and oppressive tension kept me uncomfortably engaged the whole time, always waiting for some shit to go down. I found the entire thing to be incredibly unsettling and disturbing, more than any jump-scare flick could ever do for me. The acting, especially from Toni Collette, is phenomenal. Gabriel Byrne's character is woefully underdeveloped considering how much of the movie he's in, which is maybe the most damning thing I can say about this otherwise fantastic film. It's not perfect, but it's easily one of the best horror movies I've seen in a very long time. 5/5
The press around this remake was weird when it released. It garnered some scathing reviews, but many of them focused more on how "tone-deaf" this movie was to today's political climate, over the actual content of the movie, as if that somehow directly dictated the film's quality. The result of these reviews was a bunch of people coming out and saying "fuck these snowflakes, this movie is actually a return to form for Bruce Willis and a really well-done hard-R action movie." The truth is that both sides had it both wrong and right. Death Wish is quite bad, but not for any bullshit political reasoning; it's just straight up bad. For one, the movie doesn't really attempt to make any kind of statement about anything. It does the whole "the city weighs in on vigilante justice" thing that's been done to death in other, better revenge/crime films, but beyond that it feels hollow.
It is also, in no way, a return to form for Bruce Willis. He continues his streak of looking bored and tired, and sleepwalks through his role. It pains me so much to say this because he truly used to be one of my favorite actors, but Christ, he sucks here. There is zero emotional weight behind anything that happens, which is not a great quality for a revenge film. Nothing about it feels earnest or sincere. The original Death Wish at least had that going for it. The remake simply takes the same story, but rather than doing anything unique or interesting with what is, by now, the most boilerplate revenge tale possible, it slaps it with an inconsistent tone full of flat drama and flatter goofy humor. There's also the 11th hour reveal of the main bad guy that is impossible to care about, further condemning the film to below-average status. The shootouts are decent but nothing spectacular, and there are a couple of gory kills, but not enough of them for Eli Roth standards, plus it's hard to root for the violence once you realize that you don't give a shit about anything that's happening. At some point, it feels like the violence is trying to salvage a film that had already established itself as a failure 40 minutes prior. 2/5
The Rider - I was an emotional wreck during this. Reminds me a lot of The Wrestler. 5/5
Yes! When you consider the documentary aspect it's all the more impactful. The performance she managed to get from the lead actor, a guy with no real experience on screen, is really astounding.
@eurobum: I love Drive. One of my all time favorites. I think it should be considered a fairytale, though.
I think it’s very purposefully dream-like and it’s sort of a damsel-in-distress twist where the knight is also the villain. The Driver is one of the films two biggest villain charcaters (along with Albert Brooks’ Bernie Ross).
Black Panther (3/5)Great world building, art direction and costume design, but some terrible cg and another half baked Marvel villain held it back for me. I like Michael B. Jordan, but he wasn't very convincing as Killmonger. Also, I get why they wouldn't want to directly associate with the RTJ track that was used in its teaser, but it sits right next to Star Trek 2009's trailer music as the best to not appear in their respected film.
The VVitch (4/5)Slowly clearing out my digital backlog. I'm not much of a horror guy, and recent critically acclaimed films of the genre have fallen flat with me....I dug the shit out of this one though. I did however, have something much more in the lines of Drag Me To Hell when people would mention Black Phillip.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom (SPOILERS INCLUDED)
I thought the first Jurassic World movie was good, dumb fun. It had a real breezy pace to it and had some pretty enjoyable action and simple, likeable characters in your typical summer blockbuster kinda way. It tried to ape the original JP in many ways, and while it fell far short of doing that, it still managed to evoke nostalgia in certain spots while also being its own thing.
Fallen Kingdom fails to be that kind of movie in multiple ways. As a baseline for this movie's quality, the script is trash. Just really flat dialogue and characterizations and some of the most generic "blockbustery" attempts at humor I've seen in awhile. The movie reminds you of who BDH and Chris Pratt are early on and what they went through in the last film, but then never really bother to expand on them one iota throughout the rest of the movie. The other supporting cast are poorly written and hard to care about despite trying to build drama around them, but at least Rafe Spall and especially Ted Levine appeared to have fun with their roles. Jeff Goldblum is completely wasted, though. Literally his entire role in the movie is what you seen in the trailer. It's nothing but a cameo; two brief scenes that bookend the movie, that's it.
The pacing of the film is also completely off, and as a result, it's largely boring. The trailer gives the notion that rescuing the dinos from the island before the volcano erupts is going to be the bulk of the film, when in fact, that only constitutes for the first half. The entire last act, which is about half the film, takes place in a fucking mansion and drags on foreeeeever. There isn't a whole ton of dino action on top of that, and the set pieces there are, are super tame and forgettable, save for a couple of good kills. There are a small handful of other memorable, powerful scenes throughout the rest of the movie, but that certainly does not save the entire thing. The ending, I actually did enjoy somewhat, although it's basically setting the next movie up to be another Lost World, and still in California no less, so it isn't exactly anything new.
Fallen Kingdom squandered nearly any and all potential the first Jurassic World sets up. A few cool moments can't salvage what is one of the slowest, dullest blockbusters I've seen in years. Life might find a way, but not in the soul of this film. 2/5
Coco - 3 / 5. This movie was enjoyable, but I felt like it played it a little on the safe side. I mean, I know it's a Pixar movie, meant for families, etc., but the lead character Miguel is just a tad too cute. He doesn't act like a real kid. He reminds me of the children from "Sound of Music". He's basically a perfect kid from the start, so the movie doesn't really have anywhere to take his character. He never makes any mistakes or learns any lessons. The whole conflict with his family - that he wants to play music and they all hate music and won't allow it because of something that happened in their family so many decades ago that none of them remember it - seems really manufactured and downright silly. For this plot to work there needs to be a genuine source of difference between Miguel and his family, but this plot device just didn't ring emotionally true, robbing the movie of much of its power. It kind of feels like a movie that could have been great, but was over-written by a dozen committees of Disney PR people who wanted to make sure it was sufficiently cuddly. Seriously, Miguel has lines like "It's family that's truly important" and "I'm proud to be a part of my family!" that are said with a straight face. No teeth.
That said, one scene did almost bring a tear or two to my eye as I thought about the impact that certain songs have on me because of memories associated with them. It reminded me of Oliver Sacks writing about how dementia patients do seem to come alive when they hear their favorite songs from their youth, in a way that they never do otherwise. "Certain songs they get so scratched into our souls."
The Yellow Birds – 3/5
Some good acting here and there, but as far as PTSD war movies go it isn't really saying anything particularly new or framing it in an interesting way. It's just your basic premise that active combat can fuck with you and it is what it is. I mainly watched it for Alden Ehrenreich who I thought was really great in the otherwise middling Hail Caesar.
Batman v Superman (Ultimate Family Size Party-Pak Edition): I really came to regret choosing the longer cut of this movie. Maybe it's more coherent than the original - I didn't see it in theaters so I don't know what was added - but I sure never said to myself "Gee, what a coherent movie." It was more like "Gee, I hope the credits are really long." I seriously watched the thing over 3 nights because it seemed so damned long. So admittedly, I didn't get the intended viewing experience, and maybe that's why I thought the pacing and editing were the worst parts of the movie. But probably not. if the first hour is a mess, in what way could it then benefit the following 2 hours?
See, a movie that's not a drama can get away with bad or boring dramatic elements, if the're made subordinate to the real business of the movie (action, humor, horror, etc.) and said business is effective. Recent examples are the Planet of the Apes movies, Prometheus, Godzilla. But here you have a boring, gloomy drama about Superman, draped like a wet carpet over the jumbled parts of 2 other movies: a Batman detective thing and a big stupid CGI action movie. The Batman one gets like halfway to being interesting, then it fizzles out so that Batman can participate in the big stupid CGI action movie. Which, despite the title Batman v Superman, ends up being Superman, et. al. v A Gears of War Berserker. This, in someone's mind, was adequately set up by one baffling scene that happens 1.5 hours into the movie. I honestly think if they had cut this part, and left the audience to be utterly blindsided later on, the movie would have been better. Saves time, at least, and the audience is left only slightly more confused.
Positives...the earlier Batman parts are okay. His electronic Bat-Voice is funnier than the few actual jokes in the movie (especially after years of complaining about Christian Bale). Jesse Eisenberg really chews the scenery and should have been reined in, but his performance at least brightens up the movie. The script improves on Man of Steel by being mostly acceptable, though it's still sprinkled with truly awful lines that are unfortunately more embarrassing than funny. Um...I liked how in Batman's stupid dream, there are those SWAT or SEAL guys with little Superman logo patches on their shoulders. If this was supposed to evoke the earnest silliness of '80s cartoons, they nailed it. I guess it probably wasn't though.
Star Wars: Rogue One - 2/5
It did a good job of getting the look of Star Wars down but not much else. The characters were bland and forgettable with the most paper thing characterization, and because of that it was hard to have any investment in any of the action scenes, which really became a slog for the last hour or so of the movie. It kinda felt like they just took 3 random levels from some old Star Wars games and stitched them together into a movie.
I saw Jurassic Park World for this weekend, but it ended up being kinda a dull, going through the paces movie. I was really hoping that they wouldn't do retrace the themes of Jurassic Park 2, but they pretty did outside of the least important spoiler that the granddaughter of the guy who made Jurassic Park was simply a clone. They made it so obvious for audiences that I am certain that no one was taken back and in the end, added nothing to the main story.
If you have nothing better to do, I suppose you can watch the movie if you are a huge fan of the first one. 4/10 for my overall score. Nothing offensive, nothing hugely terrible, but just the definition of boring and average.
Mom and Dad: 10 out of 5 Screaming Nic Cage Heads, 0 out of 1 endings.
The start of the movie is slow, but once they let Nic Cage be insane, screaming, crazy it becomes a hell of a film. Until the ending. Which feels like they didn't know how to end that movie, so they kind of just didn't...
Pacific Rim 2: Uprising: 2/5
I went into the movie knowing it wasn't really going to follow on the first but I figured the premise was simple enough that it'd be hard to completely screw up. And it wasn't completely screwed up, but there definitely weren't nearly enough robots fighting and there was far too much talking, especially considering how bad the script-writer was. Interesting how much they angled the film toward the Chinese audience.
The Hitman's Bodyguard: 3/5
I really enjoyed the film's gleefully irreverent sense of humor when it came to the violence. When it came to dialogue, it just tried too hard. Mostly it was Reynolds' character whose high-strung cornball of a character could have used a few more redeeming traits.
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