Rate the last movie you watched.

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fisk0

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#5951 fisk0  Moderator

Watched an unhealthy amount of movies in November, some for the first time, many rewatches but like 15-20 years after I last saw them. I'll try to keep it short:

A History of Violence (2005), not Cronenberg's strongest movie, but having read the source material I found the very different focus of the movie (as well as the differences from the graphic novel) pretty fascinating. 3/5

The Fly (1986). Sure, it has some of Cronenberg's trademark graphic body horror, but aside from that it's such a traditional 50s B-horror movie that it's kinda disappointing. His previous films have taken of well explored subjects too, but have always had a unique twist on them, this one didn't do much for me. 2/5

Shoah (1985), a 9 hour holocaust documentary shot over the course of 11 years, which was never boring. Very interesting angle - skipping archival footage entirely and focusing almost solely on testimonies from survivors, bystanders and perpetrators, and instead of trying to tell you the incomprehensibly large scale of everything, it focused on a lot of small details that together forms a comprehensive picture. I had a lot of issues with how they handled translation though, a pretty distracting system of having the interviewer, subject and translator talking over each other, repeating the same lines in different languages. Would've much preferred if it had all just been subtitled. 4/5

Dark Star (1974). Early John Carpenter, largely spoofing 2001 and Star Trek. Not particularly good, but fairly enjoyable. Some intriguing ideas and scenes, but could've been executed better. 2/5

A Tale of Love (1995). American-Vietnamese drama by Trinh T Minh-Ha. The music and cinematography was pretty good, but the dialogue just didn't sound natural in any way, which was pretty sad since I think it was dealing with some interesting subjects, especially from a vietnamese perspective. There was also Shoot for the Contents (1992), another Trinh T Minh-Ha movie, this time a documentary on China in the aftermath of Tiananmen Square ... and, well, again it was beautifully shot, but I don't think it successfully managed to bring any kind of message across. It was just a collection of disparate scenes that wildly shifted from subjects like the Chinese film industry and dragons in Chinese mythology, and if there was a connecting thread between most of these scenes, I had trouble identifying it. I'll have to give both a 2/5.

The Humanoid (1979). Pretty early Italian Star Wars knock-off by Aldo Lado. Had some decent effects and set designs, but was also incredibly absurd with the Jedi (and Yoda) replaced by literal Tibetan monks and just a non-stop barrage of deus ex machinas. 2/5

Dead Ringers (1988). David Cronenberg does a "based on actual events" drama about identical twin brothers who regularly pretend to be the other in their roles as gynecologists, academics and scientists, and who start believing there's a twin connection between them as they both fall into substance abuse and paranoia. Very well acted and shot, though there's something hard to define that's missing from making it great. 4/5

Naked Lunch (1991), Cronenberg turns William S Burroughs' novel into a surreal movie about the writing of said novel. A two hour hallucinogenic trip with sentient typewriters and conspiring insects. 4/5

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968). It's still just baffling how good this still looks and how well it holds up, and I guess the ending isn't as confusing as I remembered it. 5/5

Dune (1984). I still love this movie. At times incredibly cheesy, but Brian Eno's music for the dream sequences gives me shills, and some of the scenery is just wonderful to look at. Can't wait for the 2020 movie. 4/5

Outland (1981). Classic space western, I think the mystery solving first half works incredibly well still, there's a real sense of place to the mining station, some great effects and a great sense of tension throughout most of the movie. The ending is pretty bad though, but not bad enough to lower the score from a solid 3/5.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979). Visually it still holds up. Obviously inspired by 2001, and while it has a reputation of being glacially slow, I think the general tempo of the movie is as much of a problem as what they choose to spend time on. On several occasions it just feels like they skip over essential dialogue explaining why characters suddenly change their mind on something - while the movie gladly spends 15 minutes on a sequence without spoken dialogue where it just cuts back and forth between silent reaction shots and special effects. Still, I enjoyed rewatching this movie a lot. 3/5

Starship Troopers (1997). The CGI holds up surprisingly well, maybe even better than I remembered it from when I last rewatched it 10 or so years ago. While I'd hesitate to call the satire prescient, it's as relevant as ever. 4/5

Solaris (1972). Wonderful environments and use of Bach's organ music, some really tense moments as we're first introduced to the space station and just an incredible atmosphere throughout. 5/5

Obsession (1949), British film noir by Edward Dmytryk. Story wise it's nothing all that special, but all the actors play wonderfully against each other, trying to figure out how much the others know while trying to appear as if they're following false leads themselves. Really enjoyable movie, even though the ending is a little of a letdown. 4/5

Gravity (2013). Watched it in 3D, and the visuals are spectacular. The first 20 or so minutes are incredibly convincing as well, but after that it starts to stretch credibility far too much, with things going wrong in convoluted ways and all coming together in the very last second, over and over again to the point that all tension is lost and it just becomes an action spectacle. It's still an enjoyable roller coaster ride, but they could've done so much more with this premise. 3/5

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Vampire’s Kiss

Yeah. It’s a wild movie. Very hard to stop watching. Clearly very dark, clearly very comedic. I get why people say it’s bad, but watching Nic Cage spiral out of control is a bizarre pleasure.

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Saw Jumanji Next Level

Pretty much like the first movie just replace Dwayne Johnson doing an impression of Danny Devito and Kevin Hart doing an impression of Danny Glover.

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The Girl on a Motorcycle (1968) - 2/5

A feminist movie through the lens of a dirty old man, about a vapid newlywed bride who wears nothing but a skin-tight jumpsuit and rides her motorcycle (lovingly referred to as her "black pimp") cross-country to visit her lover, Le Samourai. Along the way she encounters men who pat her on the ass, catcall her, and other sorts of misogyny & innuendo while she daydreams about having her clothes torn off by whipping. She only wants to be sexually free and ditch her limp-dick husband but in the end she is punished for being an adulterer. I watched this on the Criterion Channel this morning -- home of Kurosawa, Tarkovsky, and Fellini.

I could not help notice that this film bears similarities to a certain auteur in the video games industry, and after some digging lo and behold:

No Caption Provided

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Arizona. I think it’s an HBO movie. It’s a black comedy staring Danny McBride as a man underwater on his house and being foreclosed.

While not great, I enjoyed it. It had some fun commentary on self-worth, predatory real estate, buying the American Dream, and the value of convenience technology.

3/5 kinda film.

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Tyson. I figured I'd watch this as I've got a free month of prime and ... it's interesting to hear Mike Tyson talk at length about his career and criminal convictions. You definitely hear more than you'd like and he certainly talks about sex like a convicted rapist.

It was great to hear him talk about ring psychology and his youth but damn, I've heard things from this I can never ignore. Fascinating and seeing footage of him in his prime brought back just how ruthless he was as a boxer.

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The Lobster. I am a big Lanthimos fan but for some reason I hadn't gotten around to watching this one yet. Definitely showcasing Lanthimos' signature sinister weirdness, but it's also incredibly funny at times. Great performances from Colin Farrell and Rachel Weisz.

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The Irishman

Fantastic crime drama. I actually had no idea what this movie was about, just who was involved. Not for the impatient.

Predator 2

Alright, Predator 2 is my favorite Predator movie. It’s not the best (that’d be the original), but it’s so amazingly dumb and has this great early 90s future LA vibe with automatic weapons shooting off everywhere, global warming is apparently a huge deal, and there’s just sweat everywhere. It’s so dumb that it’s great. Also, we get lines like “the feared Jamaican Voodoo Possee” and “Okay, pussyface, it’s your move!”

Resident Evil

Okay, I got sick and watched one great new movie and some schlocky bullshit. Resident Evil is bad, but not as bad as it could have been. It has a ton of needless shots, bad close-ups to cover up a lack of action choreography, some really odd much choices (that Mr. Self Destruct remix that plays twice when Alice fights the zombie dogs).

It’s bad, but it has a little more going on under the hood than you’d think. It also leaves me wanting to hate-rewatch the abysmal Resident Evil 2 movie.

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Joker

I feel like this was overrated in the same way God of War was for game stories. Old, tired-ass themes that I've seen countless times before, yet comic book/gamer types thought it was something fresh and new. And.. I guess it could be if you're that restricted in the types of entertainment you consume. The movie was fine, I was entertained. Visually more interesting than the average comic book movie. Zazie Beetz was the best part.

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@geebee: Yes, like absolutely yes. Watched Joker as well over the holidays and I wasn't remotely hyped going into it. The prehype from the arthouse crowd and the overblown aspects about it's "real world" influences really made me feel like it wasn't going to be nearly as impressive as the word of mouth.

But you nail it on the head with the comparison to GoW. It may be something done very right, that art house exploration of the mind of a killer, but remove the comic book license and we've seen this movie a hundred times before. It's kind of baffling that plot wise, the movie has nothing remotely to say. It's big revelation moment (if you can even call it that) near the end is like that moment anyone has the first time they get the Joker character. The fact that the film makes such a big deal about the Jokers connections to the anarchistic side of society, as if to imply this is some "new ground" that nobody has ever thought about is silly. It feels like it's a movie made for people who have zero idea about the Joker at all. Like have never seen him before or maybe out of a glance.

Probably the most unusual thing about it to me is that it kind of wastes a very good Phoenix performance. He absolutely nails what they are going for with that character but the movie winds up paced/plotted so boring and predicatively that his performance kind of winds up being the only redeeming thing about the movie.

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#5962  Edited By nutter

@geebee: @devise22: I really liked Joker a lot, but it wasn’t exactly a revelation. It practically begged you to watch King of Comedy and Taxi Driver, so I’m not sure originality was what it was going for.

I’d argue that a lot of great movies lack originality. Sometimes, execution is enough. I think that was the case with Joker.

EDIT: Re: “getting” Joker, all I know him from are movies, the old 60s TV show, and the Arkham games. I couldn’t tell you shit about comics.

As for God of War (while I’m back), I also really enjoyed that story but didn’t find it wholly original. I doubt folks behind that game thought they were telling a story never-before-told. Maybe they told it in a new way, or a way that’s new for the medium, or whatever...I’m not keeping score. But I don’t think following footsteps takes away from quality being top-notch on the big-budget video games scale.

I think scale is important in this conversation. Big budget means low risk. Joker did something new in making an R-rated comic book character study. I guess maybe Logan did something similar, but that was more of a family piece, really. It could do this because it was a very low budget film.

Similarly, I thought the must-have-been-super-risk-adverse God of War game didn’t do anything risky, but it did bother telling a very good story when you line it up against its peers.

I don’t expect to get Cormac McCarty out of a mass market video game, of all things. My expectations for video game stories are less beautiful prose and more Spiderman, Master Chief, and Marcus Fenix. I think that’s all we can usually hope for out of the big games. Sometimes you get a Bioshock or a Last of Us. But it’s usually just pulpy fun that hopefully doesn’t get in the way of the gameplay. Anyhow, considering what we usually get at those budgets and levels of risk aversion, I think God of War’s storytelling was pretty great.

Fuck, I rambled too long...

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I got sick and was unable to work, workout, play video games, focus my eyes on reading, etc. for days.

As a result, I watched a few movies of varied quality noted above (Irishman, Predator 2, Resident Evil).

Well, I continued down the Resident Evil rabbit hole and watched RE2-4.

RE2 was a rewatch. I remember it being abysmal. It’s better than I remember, but it’s a bad movie. I had fun watching it, but it was BAAAD.

RE3 I remember thinking was okay. I was wrong. It’s not much better than RE2. Still, it’s a quick and entertaining thing to look at when you’re not used to shutting off your brain.

RE4...man, this is a lot of these movies all at once, but I’m on a mission now...RE4 started out as an atrocious and unbearable movie, making RE2 look like an accomplished work. It got better after the opening action sequence in settled into mediocre fan service that’s still quick-paced, bad, but somehow watchable.

Next up: RE5 and RE6...wish me luck.

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With Disney+ I'm finally going through all the MCU films and watched Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2. It's amazing how I got misty eyed at the end over a big blue guy being turned into space ashes while a bunch of spaceships shot off fireworks. This certainly has the best developed characters of all the MCU movies, mainly because there are only like 5 or 6 of them instead of the dozen + that make up the Avengers and (at this point, at least) the GOTG universe feels so completely separate from everything else you could remove the Marvel logo and nobody probably would have noticed. I know they get integrated into the overall Infinity Stone story soon (I'm one of the 7 people who haven't watched Infinity War or Endgame), so I'm interested to see how that goes.

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Continuing with the Resident Evil movies, I watched the 5th one.

It had the biggest budget, but looked like the most made for TV schlock so far. The awfulness teased at the beginning of RE4 is fully realized here, giving us a movie that breaks the five point scale, making the worst RE movie (RE2) look pretty good in comparison.

It’s plotless, short, stupid, and basically a vehicle for shit cosplay. It’s saved by an ending where our budget-cosplay heroes (plus Alice) return to the US to find DC under siege and Wesker taking up residence in the White House. Points lost here for not having people call him President Wesker...

Anyhow, the war for mankind is apparently coming up in the last movie, and I guess Alice is going to fight some zombie dragons. It can’t possibly be as bad as this fan movie, can it? I’ll find out tonight!

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#5966  Edited By wollywoo

Knives Out: 4 / 5

An old-fashioned, stylish whodunit. The setup is pure cliche: the elderly head of an enormously wealthy estate has died, and foul play is suspected. Almost all of this movie takes place in a single mansion - one of the characters even compares it to the house from Clue.

All the joy here is in the execution. I was actually expecting something a little more self-indulgent, but it is actually very restrained and all is played straight for the most part. The tone is pitch perfect. There are a lot of laughs here, but they come naturally from the interactions between the characters and not from gags (with a few notable exceptions.)

The characters are, for the most part, fairly one- or two-dimensional, but I think that's exactly right for this sort of story. They're painted strongly, in broad strokes. I think with this many characters interacting in so many different ways, it would be detrimental to have too many slowly paced character-revealing moments. Instead, you get rapid introductions that quickly get you up to speed on exactly who everybody is, what kind of people they are, and what their motives are - and they don't cease to entertain. For this kind of film, it works wonderfully.

Overall, this is a movie that seems exactly perfect for what it is. A highly satisfying whodunit - nothing more or less than that.

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devise22

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@nutter: Yeah I think it might of been made for people who don't understand that the Joker is a symbol for anarchism and nihilism. Not necessarily anything related wholesale to the comics. The last act of Joker tonally plays as if it's unearthing shattering ground about the character that for me wound up feeling utterly empty. So much of even Ledgers Joker and how Nolan used him plays on those aspects, but you know actually uses it to make points. Where as this stand alone, while it's competently made and as you said executed well, there is zero happening of consequence or meaning thematically. Zero. The fact that even Fight Club has more relevant philosophy and it's hardly what I'd reference for something that really pushes that envelope just rubbed me wrong. Especially with how well this did at the film festivals. It really feels like critics instead honed in on a very masterful Phoenix performance and probably warmed up to the lack of camp/comic in a project of this nature.

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13 Assassins (2010)

Great drama, evil antagonist, some pretty great dialog, and bananas action to close it all out. I’ve seen this one before, but it’s always a great time.

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Resident Evil 6

This movie shed most of the crap Matrix slowmo nonsense that plagued so much of these films. It was better shot, hid a lot of bag CG, and just felt better put together than any other movie in the series.

Quite a follow-up to the train wreck that was RE5.

A wholly decent send-off to the franchise. RE6 is the best film since the first. While none of the movies are high-art, here’s my Ranking of Resident Evil:

1) Resident Evil - fun, dumb, and well-paced

2) Resident Evil 6 - the mature one

3) Resident Evil 3 - The Road Warrior with zombies

4) Resident Evil 4 - Started off shit, got to be totally fine

5) Resident Evil 2 - Cheesy cosplay and rubber costumes

6) Resident Evil 5 - Cheesier cosplay and rubberier costumes

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@nutter:

I trailed off on the RE movies after the fourth, but seeing the collection out on the shelves rekindled my interest. Not because I particularly think the anthology of films are good, they are all of varying quality, but the real shine is how bad and/or how much they deviate from the source material and become their own thing. I remember the second film being hilariously bad with the rubbery monsters. You rankings might inspire me to revisit these films. I actually thought the first one was the best too so maybe I’ll go down this rabbithole with you.

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#5971  Edited By nutter

@wmoyer83: Full disclosure, I was in an altered state of mind in a foreign country when I made the decision to purchase the movies. ;)

My wife and I actually had a lot of fun watching them. They’re silly and RE2 is better (less awful?) than I remember.

If you go down this hole, let me know what you think of RE5. I thought it was Street Fighter levels of “this is just bad cosplay,” without Raul Julia.

Now I want Raul Julia as Albert Wesker....

I also want This Ain’t No Game season 3, but I’m not sure who would do it justice...

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@nutter: I watched RE5 (Retribution?) in the cinema with friends when it came out. I expected it to be complete garbage as RE4 (Afterlife?) was terrible, easily the worst, the other movies were bad but fun in a dumb way 4 was just a slog. So going in with that mind set I actually enjoyed 5, it was a mess of a movie but they somehow ended up making Cube with zombies... think about that for a second. If I were to rank it with the others it would be No. 2, just below the first Resident Evil which I think was an okay (3/5) movie.

Anyway, the last movie I watched was Once Upon a Time... In Hollywood. I enjoyed it, it wasnt amazing but it was well shot, the acting was good to great and the banter was what i'd come to expect from a Tarantino movie. 4/5, not as good as Pulp Fiction or Resevoir Dogs but better than Jackie Brown.

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#5973  Edited By Bonbonetti

I saw the Joker movie in the cinema, and would rate it 8/10.

Before watching, I avoided reading anything about it, although I did understand it wouldn't be a usual superhero/villain movie.

For me it was a really engaging, impactful and interesting story. Obviously you go into the movie knowing what the Joker will become. That is the predictable part, for most of the movie you are just waiting for that special turning point. I think Joaquin Phoenix' performance of the transition is really good, to me he was very convincing in his role. I'd place Joker in the same category as the Logan "Wolverine" movie from 2017. For me it has a similar mood and impact (on me). I hope they make some kind of sequel, because it would be very interesting to see Joaquin Phoenix' perform Joker in his more complete villain form.

The Joker is a rather sad or tragic movie. That's more or less the point, at least that's how I felt initially. Then I realized that, becoming the Joker was the only way for the character to rescue himself, to rescue his life, which was trapped in a cycle or stagnation of misery. I did made me sympathize more with his villain character.

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notnert427

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The Irishman - If you've seen Goodfellas or Casino, you 100% do not need to spend three-and-a-half hours on this movie, which is absolutely another one of those. It's solid enough in and of itself, and I managed to get something out of it because I didn't know that much about Jimmy Hoffa and the dynamic between him and the Kennedys, but by the end of it I was more than ready for it to be over and wished I'd just read up on the actual history of Jimmy Hoffa instead. The book I Heard You Paint Houses that this movie is based upon has been pretty much debunked by all sides, which renders the film less impactful.

It's not without redeeming qualities. It's shot well and mostly avoids Scorcese's typical glorification of criminal lifestyle. I say mostly because the movie breezes past a significant low-character moment (the main character ditching his family), perhaps at the behest of the book's author (Frank Sheeran, the film's main character). Maybe the book itself does the same; I haven't read it and don't really care to because it seems very much like a cash grab of limited veracity. It wouldn't surprise me if Frank's account of this event is as self-aggrandizing as much of the rest of his tale, but I would have appreciated if Scorcese actually gave this some more weight than it did. Instead, the film seemed to try for sympathy for Frank because his relationship with his daughter was damaged by his own behavior. Moving on.

Al Pacino was a questionable choice for Jimmy Hoffa. I feel like the cast was chosen simply because putting DeNiro, Pacino, and Pesci together in a gangster movie sounds good. Pacino was basically just playing Al Pacino like he normally does, which didn't strike me as a very good portrayal of Hoffa, who IRL seemed much less manic. Oddly enough, DeNiro seemingly could have done a much better Hoffa, but I guess Scorcese thought the main character was a better use of his gravitas. It really seems like an typecasted superteam of actors was assembled for this thing and just brute-forced into some roles, and that kind of bums me out, moreso because multiple critics seemingly fawned over the film for what it is on paper.

The Irishman is really just okay. If you're looking for a Scorcese gangster joint featuring some big-name crime movie actors, it's that. Enjoyment of this movie is heavily dependent on how enamored one is with that as a concept. Ultimately, though, The Irishman neither serves as a great piece of entertainment because it's slow and long, nor does it serve as a quality representation of historical events. The best thing I can say about it is that it piqued my curiosity about the actual history, and reading up on that was more interesting than the movie could ever hope to be. It's worth a watch if you're a Scorcese fanboy or have free time to burn; but I can't recommend it to anyone else.

3/5.

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Absolutely Anything - 2.5/5

This has sat in the back of my mind since it came out, being Robin Williams' final film performance (as minimal as it may be, voicing a dog), and something I wasn't ready to hear at the time for that same reason. Enough time has passed now that I no longer get sad whenever I see/hear his work, so I gave it a shot. Besides, Simon Pegg.

Well, at least it was a breezy runtime. I didn't hate it or anything, it's fine, it's just... what was the point of it? It's written like a kid's movie yet has an R rating, it's basically Bruce Almighty in plot and concept but with aliens instead of God, and I've already forgotten half of it an hour after watching it. I really think this was a script for a PG movie that got a few "fucks", a bit of nudity and dick jokes, and a gun thrown in at the last minute. It's the only explanation.

"Paul" wasn't a masterpiece either, but it's certainly my preferred Simon Pegg sci-fi comedy. Think I'll go watch that again.

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The Irishman - 3/5 - Overall I found it pretty enjoyable, but nothing to write home about. My biggest gripe with the movie though is the digitally de-aging of actors compunded by the fact that even when they are playing their younger selves, they still move like 76 year olds. At some point, why not just hire someone to play the younger version? I am sure there’s people out there that share similar features to them. Overall I think I found the Mafia/Union/Government over arching narrative more interesting than the specifics of the actual players.

Goodfellas - 4/5 - My significant other has been in the mood for these Mafia films lately. I introduced her to Once Upon a Time in America a while back so I probably have myself to blame. That being said, contrary to The Irishman, I feel like the people in Goodfellas are a lot more interesting. The movie also, I realized on a second or third viewing now, doesn’t really ask any questions about the morality of the doings of the Mafia. It’s more.. a matter of fact. Sure, it’s from the perspective of someone that admires and wants to be part of that world for the most part, so it’s understandable. But it stood out to me this time, it’s really a movie set inside a bubble with no real reflection on it’s place in the larger picture.

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Cats (2019)
**1/2 (two & one-half stars)

"Cats," is based on Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical about a tribe of cats called Jellicles and their competition to determine who will receive a new life. First of all, it is not structurally a movie. That's okay, there are thousand of movies that art not structured like movies. The best examples of such movies are exactly what Cats is - a theater stage production films go see Prospero's Books (1991) if you want to see theater and John Gielgud's wang. That what Cat is actually, it is a staged theater productions except 'the set' was done mostly digitally...and nobody bows at the end. "Cats," is based on Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical about a tribe of cats called Jellicles and their competition to determine who will receive a new life

So, does it not being a movie with a movie's narrative or the story structure make it bad?For some people, yes. But, truthfully ist sort of interesting, it made choices and stucks with them. It is 1000x more daring and out on a limb (haha cat jokes) than Star Wars.
Is the movie Cats the best production of Cats?
No, it is not the bets production of Cat at all.
Does it follow the story the theater production of Cats, so it is a replacement?
Yup, if you see the movie you have seen what amount to a "small city in the midwest" production of Cats" with A-List singers and B-List Late Night hosts putting on the production.
Is this an important movie?
Nope.* [but, see the next question]
Will we now spend the next 12 months seeing ammature FX maker on YouTube doing "Cats FX on everything?
Oh, hell yes. Whether you like it or not, you will not escape Cats for the next three years. Cats is going to be a cultural touchstone for 2019/2020 for the next decade. If you hate ist, be prepared to be pissed off as it is brought up over and over again. Do yourself a favor, just become numb to it if you hate it. Or, laugh at it, if you don't want to go insane.

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JasonR86

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John Wick 2

3/5

It was fine. I liked the first John Wick in part because it was surprising as well as a good action movie. John Wick 2 is a good action movie, and at times looks really nice, but I didn't buy the motivations for John as a characters, the action just sort of folded in on itself after a while, and honestly it kind of felt like an expensive direct to video sequel to the first film. It more or less killed my interest in the third film.

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ShaggE

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#5979  Edited By ShaggE

Vile - 2/5

"Torture porn" is a hard subgenre to admit to liking. It immediately paints you as a lowbrow sadist, which I think is entirely unfair. Is it that much worse than liking garden-variety slashers? At the end of the day, you're still rooting for two-dimensional characters getting offed in spectacular fashion, after all.

That said, after watching Vile, I sort of get it. I still don't agree with it, but I get the disdain. This movie literally offers nothing but torture wrapped around a McGuffin that's so stupid as to be funny (to escape a grimy house, they need to suffer extreme pain to fill up vials attached to their cortexes so a mysterious group can make street drugs... for fuck's sake). It's what people who've never seen Hostel think Hostel is. Did you know it's possible to be bored out of your mind while watching someone's jaw get crushed with a wrench? I certainly didn't. But Vile accomplishes it!

Honestly, I'd give this a 1/5, but the acting was passable, the effects were good enough to get some cringes out of me, and it got me thinking about the nature of the subgenre and why I defend it, and where my own limits are (not gore-wise... this movie isn't even all that graphic... just pointlessness-wise). So, I guess it offered that much at least.

Edit:

Ready or Not - 5/5

Phew... after Vile left me in sort of a bad mood (horror fans watch a lot of garbage, comes with the territory, but even trash can be entertaining. "Boring" is far worse), Ready or Not was exactly what I needed to cheer back up. Funny as hell, wickedly grotesque, and legitimately suspenseful. It hits that same sweet spot as You're Next, to the point where I had to check to see if Adam Wingard wrote this as well (he didn't). Also, I never liked the term "scream queen", but Samara Weaving is 100% great as one. Her throat must have been crazy sore after some of those scenes, haha.

Ah, one more, been a bit of a marathon tonight:

Villains - 4/5

This was certainly a surprise! Bill Skarsgard gets to flex his comedic muscle here alongside Maika Monroe, and they absolutely killed as a couple of small-time criminal lovebirds finding themselves at the house of a couple of rather more... insane and violent... criminal lovebirds (Kyra Sedgwick and Jeffrey Donovan of all people). Very funny, and surprisingly touching for all parties involved in the third act. It's not perfect, but it deserves much more recognition. HIGHLY recommended.

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StrikeALight

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Uncut Gems 5/5.

Is a film deserving of all the praise and accolades about to head it's way.

Reminds me of how I felt after first watching Mulholland Drive back upon it's release.

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Bonbonetti

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Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. I'd rate it 8/10.

I think it was neither better nor worse than the other two in the trilogy. I was happy with how it ended, and as a whole I enjoyed the series. I also really liked the casting, especially for Rey, Fin and Kylo Ren.

My issue with this trilogy stems not from each individual movie, but from the overall perspective. It would have been much more interesting to see a new group of enemies, a type not really mentioned in the movies, but taken from the books. It was too much of the "old same" with this trilogy, things we knew or have seen before. The books however, feature a much richer variety of potential villains and heroes, of scenarios and worlds to see. I feel like it was a missed opportunity to truly explore the Star Wars universe. The world in which these three stories take place feels rather small. I mean, even TV-shows like The Expanse or The Mandalorian manage to feel grander in their worlds than what I experienced in these three movies.

Plotholes? possibly, but I don't really care. It was an engaging tale with a really good cast, and plenty of cool scenes and spectacles.

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Pezen

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(2019) Alladin - 1/5 - Jesus, how did anyone get through this film? I had to turn it off just past Alladin and Jasmin having first met. I just couldn’t take it. Acting felt super flat, Jasmin’s very european look was giving me Gods of Egypt flashbacks and the songs up to that point felt off and a bad sort of modern (even using some auto tune). It just felt like it was lacking any sort of soul or passion.

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Ford_Dent

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#5983  Edited By Ford_Dent

Travel means movie watching - at least it used to - but this time for my transatlantic flights I only really watched one film I'd not seen before:

Battle Angel Alita: You know, I'd heard about this one, which most people said was surprisingly good (or at least better than the live-action Ghost in the Shell), so I took a look at it. It was... fine? It wasn't great. The movie all feels like setup for a climax that never really happens, and all the stuff I got curious about (the war, what happened to the Martian army, whether or not Mars is still colonized, how society actually functioned) was tossed off in favor of a doomed romance and a tonally weird story about how you have to fight the system but then nevermind we'll just become part of the system instead, kind of? I assume the manga has more room to breathe and maybe gets into some of the other stuff, but it all felt half-baked to me. I did enjoy the look of it, though! Also it had some good fights. 2 giant anime eyes out of 5

Oh I also finally got my hands on the Criteron Collection's Showa-Era Godzilla collection, so here's some thoughts about the few I sat down and watched again (so far):

Godzilla: Fuck you if you don't like this movie. It manages to be legitimately harrowing at points (they were not fucking around when evoking images of atomic destruction, and I imagine it was even more harrowing so close to the actual bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki), and the big man himself isn't deployed too often. The soundtrack is also fantastic, and while the love triangle is a little dumb, it provides a hell of a lot more human drama than the last two Legendary films (Important note: I fucking love the Legendary films). Plus Serizawa's willingness to sacrifice himself just to ensure nobody can use his creation again is really good. Watching this movie again also made me appreciate just how much Anno echoed it in Shin Godzilla. 5 radioactive breffs out of 5

Invasion of Astro Monster: I watched Ghidorah, the Three Headed Monster a while back, so it was an easy call to watch the direct sequel to it. This is the first time aliens try to take over the world, and they do it with ELECTROMAGNETIC BRAIN CONTROL. Plus, the dub has the FOLLOW THE LIGHT. THE LIGHT WILL BE YOUR GUIDE that got sampled at the beginning of the King Gheedorah album, and that's cool. Kind of a shame the titular Astro Monster (aka Monster Zero, aka King Ghidorah) doesn't have a lot to do. The human bits of this one are also Big Dumb, though they do include interspecies romance performed in spite of the will of The Master Computer. Anyway this movie was a big dumb adventure and Godzilla does a fuckin' victory dance at one point. 3 dancing kaiju out of 5

Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla: Yo they gave King Ceaser his own fucking theme song and it slaps. Mechagodzilla looks cool, except for the parts where it looks like a windup toy, there's the world's biggest telegraphing of an Important McGuffin (the pipe), and also there's this weird prophecy thing happening (which, if the aliens knew the prophecy has them doomed to fail, why would they set out to follow it so closely?) and oh right, Interpol is just kind of there to shoot aliens when the plot demands it. Also, Godzilla goes super saiyan and turns into a giant magnet. Kind of a mess, but KING CEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH 2 vaguely dog-looking protector gods out of 5.

Am I going to continue making my way through all these Showa-era films? YOU BET YOUR FUCKIN' ASS I AM.

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Dweep

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#5984  Edited By Dweep

I just saw Parasite. Great movie. It's worth watching.

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Yoshi1991

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Cant even remember the last movie I watched but I did just watch Carnival row (tv series) and I would say 8.5/10

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thegame983

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The Lighthouse - 4/5

Fantastic movie with two fantastic leads. Very funny

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Ford vs. Ferrari.

I think this movie needs no introduction. 9 Ford GT40 out of 10

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JPPT1974

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Like a Boss 7/10 If you are a Tiffany Haddish, Rose Byrne, and/or Selma Hayek fan! Comedy there and a chick flick

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Humanity

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Terminator Dark Fate – 2/5

Mostly boring and very superfluous. Someone said "we should make another one of these!" and they decided to negate the entire franchise just to have another movie KIND OF make sense.

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Ford_Dent

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The Lighthouse: You know, there are films and there are films, and the difference between the two is wholly subjective. For me, The Lighthouse is a fuckin' film, though honestly a lot of it has the feeling of a stage play (loud speeches and all). Occasionally, the movie feels like a panic attack. Other times it feels like a lost horror film made on a small budget in the 1950s. At all times, however, it feels like a movie with a strong sense of atmosphere - and the atmosphere is where it shines, all shadows and seagull shit and the roaring of the waves.

I think that Willem Dafoe is a fucking genius, and he manages to carry himself in a way that you can smell him, all the farts and vileness accumulated over the years posted at a lighthouse in the middle of the sea. Robert Pattinson plays a real shithead paranoiac, and both men spend the movie circling each other trying to decide if they're going to fight, fuck, or raise an ancient sea god. By the end of the movie there's damn near stink lines coming off the screen, and the final shot legitimately unsettled me - I just wasn't mentally prepared for it. This movie features both an argument about the quality of Willlem Dafoe's cooking and a real Shakespearian-style curse of Neptune. Plus whatever accent it is Pattinson is doing is incredible, to say nothing of Dafoe's absolutely menacing delivery of lines regarding spilled beans.

YER FOND OF ME LOBSTER, AREN'T YE?

5 unlucky seabirds out of 5

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ShaggE

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Terminator: Dark Fate For The Future Of The Franchise - 3/5

I'm definitely on the "liked it" side of the divide, although I think some of the narrative choices were mind-meltingly stupid. Without spoilers, the thing that everyone hated wasn't even the thing that I hated, but rather the fact that this new plotline is literally just swapping one noun for another and pretending that that makes literally any difference at all. I get the whole "inevitability" idea, that's fine, but come on.

It's a shame that this will probably be the last Terminator movie (at least for a very long time) due to how hard it bombed, because it really is a step back in the right direction. On the other hand, it's also a strong argument for the franchise having nothing left to say anymore, so maybe that's not a bad thing.

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Bonbonetti

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#5993  Edited By Bonbonetti

Crawl (2019).

I really really ... really ... like animals-gone-rogue horror films. It all started with Jaws 1 & 2, then Piranha (1978) and so on. It doesn't even have to a particularly great movie for me to watch it a dozen times or more, like the film Anacondas for example.

Crawl, as you could probably guess from the name and movie cover, not to mention trailer, is about alligators. This alone is quite unique, since most movies of this kind are about sharks. However, another unique feature is the setting itself, it's a rather claustrophobic experience. The scenarios in which the protagonist finds herself are very much original and unusual for a movie of this type. The acting itself is not my main criteria for films of this sort. I had not seen the lead actress in anything else before this, but grew increasingly sympathetic towards her as the story progressed. I think she played her role convincingly, I have nothing to complain about. As with any enjoyable animals-gone-rogue horror film, there should be a good number of tense and stressful scenes, and I think this one has plenty of that. The movie starts out suspenseful but then becomes increasingly frantic. It has a nice flow to it.

It's definitely one of the more unique and original animals-gone-rogue horror films I've seen, thanks in large part to the unique setting and scenarios.

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Humanity

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@shagge: I can honestly and in clear conscience say that as absurdly stupid as Genisys was, I enjoyed it more than Dark Fate just because it was doing something ever so slightly different with the franchise. They took all these motifs from the past films and then remixed them in weird ways. Here is the liquid terminator, here is Arny, here is a new cool looking one, here are characters you've heard about but haven't seen in this way before. It's a bad movie but at least it was going for it.

Dark Fate's defining moment of we aren't waiting for a man to save us anymore because now we have a strong woman instead is a nod in the right direction but executed with all the subtlety of an airplane crash. Then the part where OH it's not Skynet, it's totally different, it's Legion.. a military AI that went rogue and wants to destroy humanity.. Like why even bother changing it if you're not changing anything at all?

I'm not even a big fan of the Terminator franchise - I watch them and think it's fun action and cool special effects - but somehow I sat there kind of getting upset at how ridiculous some of these changes and decisions were. It really makes you wonder how does the story writing in these sort of productions actually work because it's impossible that more than 2 people read this script and thought it's good to go.

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BigBoss1911

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#5995  Edited By BigBoss1911

Godzilla : King of the Monsters

2.5/5

All of the fight scenes, monster designs, soundtrack, and cinematography were phenomenal but the story and characters were couldn't have been more underdeveloped or cliche. The female doctors motivation for letting the monsters loose had me eye rolling hard.

I'll say that this movie has some of the coolest posters ever made.

No Caption Provided

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ichthy

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Parasite, 5/5. I look forward to the inevitable much shittier North American re-make.

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Humanity

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@ichthy: While 99% of the time this is true I will posit that The Departed is actually better than Infernal Affairs.