Some bad news...

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Tireyo

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#1  Edited By Tireyo

As some of you already know, I’m going through a very rough time. Not only do I have these mental issues and other problems that I’ve openly told everyone here on Giantbomb, but there are serious family troubles. I am very sad to say that things are getting worse.

Yesterday it has been confirmed that my dad has cancer again (He had it in his left kidney first), but it’s in his lower spine bone now. He also has a cyst on this only kidney (right), and it’s not for sure yet if it’s cancerous as well. Though the bone cancer may be treatable, his job and the medical doctors will not really want him to work anymore. Once his job finds out, he will be forced to take medical retirement. The medical retirement will not be enough for us to survive on, so the only option is declaring bankruptcy. Even if I were to get a job, it wouldn’t be enough to support us all. We will be losing many things, but at least we were able to enjoy the materials before they are taken away. It’s silly to get attached to earthly possessions, but it happens. We don’t really need the things we are attached to, because all we need is a roof over our head, food, and transportation. That is the conclusion that I have come to.

Personally, I am scared for what will happen in the future for my parents. I will be continuing my education in business administration, though I’ll end up paying for it myself… but I don’t mind as it’s my business anyway that my parents don’t need to feel obligated to pay for. I love them so much… I don’t want to leave them until I know that they are alright, because I help them in many ways that isn’t describable. I feel like good things will be coming my way, but right now it doesn't seem like it because of my parents struggle.

As for my mental issues, I’m keeping it under control with distractions. The anime thread has been helping tremendously with that, because there are some really great ones that I watched! The video games are helping too. I want as many distractions as possible.

Yesterday, I was in shock... but I still will be online here and there like always. Maybe not as responsive or long winded though…

To those who have been kind to me, thank you. Please send good thoughts, prayers, wishes, or whatever you all want to call it my way… if that isn’t too much to ask.

Again… thank you,

Tyler

I happened to like the Eden of the East series, and I loved the closing credits... because it made me think that the concepts of the explosion, pencil, and other animations should be integrated in the upcoming Paper Mario for 3DS. Some really great ideas here! I cannot understand what the song is saying, but strangely enough I like it... it's sticking inside my head. So, no post of mine is complete without a song!

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toowalrus

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#2  Edited By toowalrus

Oh hey, I'm a business management student too. ...and I've also been paying for it myself- every penny. Next year's gonna run me $20,000 US, I've already saved up about 25% of that, though. Also, my dad died of cancer, so I kinda know what you're going through, (I'm glad your dad is fighting through it) but there's one thing about your situation that sticks out to me...

@Tireyo643 said:

Even if I were to get a job, it wouldn’t be enough to support us all.

It might not be enough to support your family, but it will go a long way to showing them you care, and it will certainly help them out. Right now, I've got 20+ hours of school, and 35-45 hours of work every week. I'm not in a position to judge, but it might mean more to them to see you trying to help pay some bills rather than watching all that anime.

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Tireyo

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#3  Edited By Tireyo

@TooWalrus said:

Oh hey, I'm a business management student too. ...and I've also been paying for it myself- every penny. Next year's gonna run me $20,000 US, I've already saved up about 25% of that, though. Also, my dad died of cancer, so I kinda know what you're going through, (I'm glad your dad is fighting through it) but there's one thing about your situation that sticks out to me...

@Tireyo643 said:

Even if I were to get a job, it wouldn’t be enough to support us all.

It might not be enough to support your family, but it will go a long way to showing them you care, and it will certainly help them out. Right now, I've got 20+ hours of school, and 35-45 hours of work every week. I'm not in a position to judge, but it might mean more to them to see you trying to help pay some bills rather than watching all that anime.

It's worth mentioning to them about the job thing. The college program I'm in is for working adults, meaning that I only go to class one day a week... so it would work. My problem is that they want me nearby. My mother cannot lift anything heavy or raise her arms above her head for long because she fears of getting lymphedema in her arms after her double mastectomy, and I'm not sure what my father can do and cannot do. I've been their caregiver lately taking care of all household cleaning, cooking, helping dad in particular to get up. (He has a hard time getting up after he lies down, and many times he hasn't) Both my parents have bad backs and are in poor health, and only I can take care of them...

As long as his job doesn't know right now, he is still getting paid. We are really keeping this very quiet from his work. It's really hard to know what to really do at this point, because they are very needy in other ways. Perhaps I'll come up with an update later about how it all goes.

It's a bad position to be in.

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TentPole

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#4  Edited By TentPole

Is this really the place for this?

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Tireyo

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#5  Edited By Tireyo

@TentPole: Do you think I care? If it isn't, the mods can lock it. It don't matter to me either way, whether it stays here or not.

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Bocam

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#6  Edited By Bocam

@TentPole: Threads like these are why I love the Giant bomb forums. Everyone's so insane and creepy.

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TaliciaDragonsong

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#7  Edited By TaliciaDragonsong

We already spoke but I can't help but wonder why you have this need to tell the world about yourself at every chance...
 
Good luck, nonetheless.

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Jace

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#8  Edited By Jace

Shouldn't you at least make it a blog post?

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iam3green

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#9  Edited By iam3green

@Bocam said:

@TentPole: Threads like these are why I love the Giant bomb forums. Everyone's so insane and creepy.

what are you wearing?

in seriousness though, sorry to hear about the bad news. i hope that you have good luck with paying and helping your family out in this hard time. losing people in your family is hard.

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Levio

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#10  Edited By Levio

Never give up

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Swoxx

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#11  Edited By Swoxx

@Levio said:

Never give up

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Karl_Boss

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#12  Edited By Karl_Boss

You need some inspiration

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TheHumanDove

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#13  Edited By TheHumanDove

This isn't the bad news I was expecting, but I'll take it

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Akrid

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#14  Edited By Akrid

Sorry to hear about your situation. Keep your chin up!

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jewunit

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#15  Edited By jewunit

@Levio said:

Never give up

Trust your instincts!

You are a good son. Do what you can for your folks, but don't lose sight of your future goals. Best wishes and I hope your situation improves.

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BSw

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#16  Edited By BSw

@Example1013: Glad to hear we have a professional on the site.

@Tireyo643: Good luck dude, the offer from the old topic still stands.

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Contrarian

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#17  Edited By Contrarian

I empathise with your plight Tyler. No-one so young should be burdened by the unpleasant so side of life, but sadly, so many do. No amount of words could ever make things better for you, but I really hope you get out the other end of this part of your life in the best way possible. I watched my father die after several strokes and it hurts, but like most of us who have experienced it, our lives go on. You will surprise yourself at the strngth you have inside to be the rock your parents need. Even though it is tempting to give up everything for them, I don't think you should give up games or anime as they are your places to retreat and give your mind some peace and relaxation and the therapeutic nature of that cannot be understated. As an atheist, I give you my psitive thoughts and wishes.

A question on education in the USA, do you have to pay your fees as you go? We have a HECs scheme where you pay after your degree at low interest (the government holds the debt), and you pay only as you have the income to afford it after. Sure, you have a debt after school (most degrees are under $40k), but at least your income has little to do with being able to do it in the first place.

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Dylabaloo

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#18  Edited By Dylabaloo

@Tireyo643: In posting this here be wary of the assholes that reside here, or anywhere on the internet. You should find somebody in real life to confide your personal feelings with, the internet is no substitute for real life people. Try to make the best out of this awful situation and spend a lot of time with your dad; and I would suggest doing what you feel is right, nothing we say here is going to help you more than what you already know. Best of luck.

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Example1013

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#19  Edited By Example1013

@drgrumbles said:

@Example1013 said:

@Tireyo643: No joke, you belong in a mental hospital.

Cries for attention from random internet people should be a clear sign you need help from real professionals...

Contemplating suicide is a real funny joke, bro.

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Contrarian

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#20  Edited By Contrarian

@Dylabaloo said:

@Tireyo643: In posting this here be wary of the assholes that reside here, or anywhere on the internet. You should find somebody in real life to confide your personal feelings with, the internet is no substitute for real life people. Try to make the best out of this awful situation and spend a lot of time with your dad; and I would suggest doing what you feel is right, nothing we say here is going to help you more than what you already know. Best of luck.

I never understood why people in any situation, internet or not, feel any satisfaction from being arseholes. I can't grasp what satisfaction they get from it.

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Moreau_MD

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#21  Edited By Moreau_MD

@Dylabaloo said:

@Tireyo643: In posting this here be wary of the assholes that reside here, or anywhere on the internet. You should find somebody in real life to confide your personal feelings with, the internet is no substitute for real life people. Try to make the best out of this awful situation and spend a lot of time with your dad; and I would suggest doing what you feel is right, nothing we say here is going to help you more than what you already know. Best of luck.

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WoodenPlatypus

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#22  Edited By WoodenPlatypus

Not that we've ever spoke but I'm sorry to hear. The illness of a parent and the mental strain are something I can relate too aswell as the aftermath. I wish you and your family the best. No luck will do comfort but know the thoughts of everyone are with you and try to not let your worries stop you from enjoying yourself.

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Rerejo28

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#23  Edited By Rerejo28

You post a lot of depressing stuff. Sadness isn't chill.

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Aetheldod

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#24  Edited By Aetheldod

Best wishes duder

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Vegetable_Side_Dish

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Life gets in the way like that, especially when it comes to medical things...trust me, I know. Well wishes to you and your family!

I'm still shocked at people having to declare bankruptcy because of medical issues though. That is fuckingatrocious.

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Canteu

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#26  Edited By Canteu

Glad I live in the UK. American healthcare putting people who are sick in the poorhouse, that is quite simply, fucked.

Hope things get better duder.

Tell your Dad to fight as hard as he can.

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BestUsernameEver

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#27  Edited By BestUsernameEver

Not really the response I was expekting from the Giantbombers, and honestly, I am disappointed. The OP may not have made this a blog post, but klearly he needs logical responses to his hard times, if he didn't, why would he post it here? To the OP, I am sorry about your dad's sikkness, kanker is a kruel disease, but it's not a death sentenke, a ton of people pull through every year, so don't get down on yourself thinking otherwise. As for a job, it would be something to look for, even if it doesn't make a big impakt finankially, it will to your family, knowing you kare. Keep you khin up.

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Bwast

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#28  Edited By Bwast

My Dad has been sick for 5 years. Bed-ridden virtually every day. When he first fell ill, doctors gave him a 50/50 shot of living. He had to be air ambulanced to a hospital in Quebec and it was uncertain for the first 36 hours whether he'd make it or not. I know what it's like to potentially lose someone close. Now his medication has made him all but blind and he has to have a constant supply of oxygen in order to breathe. My Dad and I aren't the best of friends though so it's not as impactful I guess. But whatever, a video game forum isn't the place for any of this, including my little story there. Talk to a real person who actually wants to help you instead of this embarrassing shit. Nothing good can come of this unless you find solace in the halfhearted sympathies of complete strangers. Which is a completely separate problem.

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roborobb

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#29  Edited By roborobb

Best wishes, keep your chin up and always concentrate on your goals

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Tireyo

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#30  Edited By Tireyo

@Bocam: Ain't it the truth.

@TaliciaDragonsong: I ain't telling the world. I'm just telling Giant bomb. =-P If I wanted to tell the world I would go to the Today Show in New York.

@drgrumbles said:

@Example1013 said:

@Tireyo643: No joke, you belong in a mental hospital.

Cries for attention from random internet people should be a clear sign you need help from real professionals...

This is actual more like a journal entry that everyone here reads.

@Contrarian: I don't know yet. I don't pay off the loan until my time at the college is up.

@Dylabaloo said:

@Tireyo643: In posting this here be wary of the assholes that reside here, or anywhere on the internet. You should find somebody in real life to confide your personal feelings with, the internet is no substitute for real life people. Try to make the best out of this awful situation and spend a lot of time with your dad; and I would suggest doing what you feel is right, nothing we say here is going to help you more than what you already know. Best of luck.

You're right, though it has been a little helpful talking and mentioning all this to an external source that is not involved, whether there are nice replies or not. Putting it in writing and letting someone I don't know to read it makes me feel better... I don't know why that is. Feels better than outright saying it to someone in front of me. Perhaps there is a valuable lesson to be learned here...

@Bwast said:

My Dad has been sick for 5 years. Bed-ridden virtually every day. When he first fell ill, doctors gave him a 50/50 shot of living. He had to be air ambulanced to a hospital in Quebec and it was uncertain for the first 36 hours whether he'd make it or not. I know what it's like to potentially lose someone close. Now his medication has made him all but blind and he has to have a constant supply of oxygen in order to breathe. My Dad and I aren't the best of friends though so it's not as impactful I guess. But whatever, a video game forum isn't the place for any of this, including my little story there. Talk to a real person who actually wants to help you instead of this embarrassing shit. Nothing good can come of this unless you find solace in the halfhearted sympathies of complete strangers. Which is a completely separate problem.

Don't worry about if this is the right place to do this, I'm certainly not worried. It's not as embarrassing as you think it is. Also, read what I said to Dylabaloo.

@TheHumanDove said:

@Contrarian said:

@Dylabaloo said:

@Tireyo643: In posting this here be wary of the assholes that reside here, or anywhere on the internet. You should find somebody in real life to confide your personal feelings with, the internet is no substitute for real life people. Try to make the best out of this awful situation and spend a lot of time with your dad; and I would suggest doing what you feel is right, nothing we say here is going to help you more than what you already know. Best of luck.

I never understood why people in any situation, internet or not, feel any satisfaction from being arseholes. I can't grasp what satisfaction they get from it.

Keep in mind this is the same guy that made a thread talking about how he hates himself. Suggestions were made that he seek help, but he refuses to do anything about it. His call. Plus this is the internet. Only so much can be done.

Keep in mind that I took suggestions seriously. I simply couldn't get help, because I had no other choice. It should be good news that I'm remaining in a positive mood, and making it through, though it may not be ideal to use distractions... but at least it's working for now.

@Rerejo28: Take a look at my anime thread. That isn't depressing, it was actually happy.

@BestUsernameEver said:

Not really the response I was expekting from the Giantbombers, and honestly, I am disappointed. The OP may not have made this a blog post, but klearly he needs logical responses to his hard times, if he didn't, why would he post it here? To the OP, I am sorry about your dad's sikkness, kanker is a kruel disease, but it's not a death sentenke, a ton of people pull through every year, so don't get down on yourself thinking otherwise. As for a job, it would be something to look for, even if it doesn't make a big impakt finankially, it will to your family, knowing you kare. Keep you khin up.

Is there something wrong with your "C" key? =-P It's weird seeing the letter "K" for C. Making it a blog post wasn't necessary. I didn't want a lot of messages in my PM box. =-P

Also, thanks everyone! =-)

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MysteriousBob

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#31  Edited By MysteriousBob

I'm sorry but I have to know-

Why are you telling us?

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Tireyo

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#32  Edited By Tireyo

@MysteriousBob said:

I'm sorry but I have to know-

Why are you telling us?

Read this comment:

@Dylabaloo said:

@Tireyo643: In posting this here be wary of the assholes that reside here, or anywhere on the internet. You should find somebody in real life to confide your personal feelings with, the internet is no substitute for real life people. Try to make the best out of this awful situation and spend a lot of time with your dad; and I would suggest doing what you feel is right, nothing we say here is going to help you more than what you already know. Best of luck.

You're right, though it has been a little helpful talking and mentioning all this to an external source that is not involved, whether there are nice replies or not. Putting it in writing and letting someone I don't know to read it makes me feel better... I don't know why that is. Feels better than outright saying it to someone in front of me. Perhaps there is a valuable lesson to be learned here...

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MysteriousBob

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#33  Edited By MysteriousBob

@Tireyo643 said:

@MysteriousBob said:

I'm sorry but I have to know-

Why are you telling us?

Read this comment:

@Dylabaloo said:

@Tireyo643: In posting this here be wary of the assholes that reside here, or anywhere on the internet. You should find somebody in real life to confide your personal feelings with, the internet is no substitute for real life people. Try to make the best out of this awful situation and spend a lot of time with your dad; and I would suggest doing what you feel is right, nothing we say here is going to help you more than what you already know. Best of luck.

You're right, though it has been a little helpful talking and mentioning all this to an external source that is not involved, whether there are nice replies or not. Putting it in writing and letting someone I don't know to read it makes me feel better... I don't know why that is. Feels better than outright saying it to someone in front of me. Perhaps there is a valuable lesson to be learned here...

I suppose, but I believe there's better outlets for your emotions than an internet message boards.

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Tireyo

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#34  Edited By Tireyo

@MysteriousBob said:

@Tireyo643 said:

@MysteriousBob said:

I'm sorry but I have to know-

Why are you telling us?

Read this comment:

@Dylabaloo said:

@Tireyo643: In posting this here be wary of the assholes that reside here, or anywhere on the internet. You should find somebody in real life to confide your personal feelings with, the internet is no substitute for real life people. Try to make the best out of this awful situation and spend a lot of time with your dad; and I would suggest doing what you feel is right, nothing we say here is going to help you more than what you already know. Best of luck.

You're right, though it has been a little helpful talking and mentioning all this to an external source that is not involved, whether there are nice replies or not. Putting it in writing and letting someone I don't know to read it makes me feel better... I don't know why that is. Feels better than outright saying it to someone in front of me. Perhaps there is a valuable lesson to be learned here...

I suppose, but I believe there's better outlets for your emotions than an internet message boards.

You're right, though I don't know any other outlets considering that well.... I have a severe distrust in real life people. Internet people don't necessarily care, though perhaps to an extent if you can relate to them somehow. I don't mean to stress anyone out here, just that this is a form of releasing stress... and it's working. If it's working, isn't it worth it?

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Tireyo

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#35  Edited By Tireyo

@Example1013 said:

@drgrumbles: Oh wait, were you saying I need help? Lolz.

@Tireyo643: Srs. Seek help. You're not doing any favors for yourself by avoiding issues. The quicker you deal with them, the better off you'll be.

Yes, I agree.

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zacagawea

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#36  Edited By zacagawea

You shouldn't worry about your parents too much. Live your life, make the most of it. No good parent wants their child worrying about them (or watching anime) 24/7.

Old people get older.

Old people get medical problems.

Old people die.

Anime is for jerks.

Old people drive slow.

Fuck them.

Just saying.

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spudtastic

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#37  Edited By spudtastic

You love your parents, and are motivated to get a career college degree. There are more troubled people than you. I'm sorry things are so rough there on distant planet.

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Dalai

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#38  Edited By Dalai

All I can say is stay positive and stay distracted if that's what helps.

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Choffy

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#39  Edited By Choffy

@Tireyo643: I feel for you and your situation. Truly. However, you can help make the situation better. Instead of making excuses about why a job couldn't work, flat out do it. I, like TooWalrus, am working full time and taking 21 credit hours this semester and have been so proud of what I'm accomplishing at 19. I don't have mental issues or a family member dying of cancer, but if someone like me can do it, you sure as hell can.

If I've learned one thing about this community, it's that for every one asshole, there are two people rooting for you. I'm rooting for you, but you can't make excuses for yourself. It'll mean you'll always hold yourself back.

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sweep

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#40  Edited By sweep  Moderator

Mork, I have known you for a long time and I know you understand how these forums work - so if you want to post your personal shit here then I have little sympathy if people don't react appropriately. Having said that, there is no excuse for others deliberately being dicks just because you wanted to share something personal, so if anyone feels the need to act like a twat then they shall be hearing from me shortly.

ALRIGHTY

now we have that cleared up; Sounds like you are in a pretty dark place at the moment. I'm not going to throw out any advice because I can't relate to what the fuck you are going through at all. However, you are a nice guy and you don't deserve this shit, so I hope your situation improves soon.

xx

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huntad

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#42  Edited By huntad

:( I hope everything works out.

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Tireyo

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#43  Edited By Tireyo

@Zacagawea: I haven't been watching anime 24/7. -_- That's absolutely nuts.

@Choffy said:

@Tireyo643: I feel for you and your situation. Truly. However, you can help make the situation better. Instead of making excuses about why a job couldn't work, flat out do it. I, like TooWalrus, am working full time and taking 21 credit hours this semester and have been so proud of what I'm accomplishing at 19. I don't have mental issues or a family member dying of cancer, but if someone like me can do it, you sure as hell can.

If I've learned one thing about this community, it's that for every one asshole, there are two people rooting for you. I'm rooting for you, but you can't make excuses for yourself. It'll mean you'll always hold yourself back.

I haven't made an excuse to not get a job, because I really am going to mention it to them when they get back from the hospital. I mean... it's really difficult taking care of parent's who have cancer that want me nearby, but I do think it can be worked out. I definitely know I can do it. =-)

And... thank you. Also, I remember talking to you through Skype a year or two ago when a couple of us guys got in a podcasting mode. =-P

@Sweep: Sweep, I'll let you know if a person is bothering me. I think that's a better way to handle the situation. No one has bothered me in this topic.

Thanks Sweep. Underneath that moldy patty of yours, that cheese is really delicious. =-)

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Talis12

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#44  Edited By Talis12

i can relate to your situation..

About 10 years ago my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, half her breast was removed so it wouldnt spread. every year there are check ups to see if it has come back. last year it was on her kidney and they did some freeze operation on it to get rid of it.. so far she's still going strong.

3 years ago my mother and father were in a divorce.. a year after the divorce my dad got throat cancer and they removed a shitload of stuff in there. since then he has to talk through a device in his throat.

every day is a struggle for both of them, but they are still alive and enjoying life as it is. cancer is a horrible thing, especially the road to get rid of it. laser treatment, operations, medications, chemo therapy.. i wouldnt wish it on anybody.. but, there are definitely ways to get rid of it and deal with.

the road ahead is difficult and hard, but can be conquered. find support from friends and family and make the best out of the situation. in no way you should ever give up trying..

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gamer_152

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#45  Edited By gamer_152  Moderator

Very sad to read. I hope things start looking up for you and your family soon.

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Rolyatkcinmai

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#46  Edited By Rolyatkcinmai

@Levio said:

Never give up

Never surren...

No.

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jacksukeru

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#47  Edited By jacksukeru

@Contrarian said:

@Dylabaloo said:

@Tireyo643: In posting this here be wary of the assholes that reside here, or anywhere on the internet. You should find somebody in real life to confide your personal feelings with, the internet is no substitute for real life people. Try to make the best out of this awful situation and spend a lot of time with your dad; and I would suggest doing what you feel is right, nothing we say here is going to help you more than what you already know. Best of luck.

I never understood why people in any situation, internet or not, feel any satisfaction from being arseholes. I can't grasp what satisfaction they get from it.

Sometimes, when you've had a real bad day/life, you just want to see it all burn. It's temporary and hollow, but for a moment it helps; just a little.

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Tireyo

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#49  Edited By Tireyo

@RiotBananas: XD LOL.

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WMWA

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#50  Edited By WMWA
@Tireyo643 I had to do inpatient at a healthcare facility two years ago, man. It's rough, I felt so embarrassed about it at first. Didn't want to tell my friends or anyone. But I came to grips with it and it helped me. Everyone deals with shit differently, and even though I wasn't the type to post my problems anywhere, I completely empathize with you, Duder. Currently paying my way through college. Just because someone vents in a different way doesn't make your problems any less serious, so don't listen to the assholes on here. Good luck, it really does get better, and PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.