Someone's died and I don't care - what do I do?

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bio595

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#1  Edited By bio595

My uncle, who was an all around bad guy and someone I kinda hated has killed himself.
I am finding it difficult to care except in that I feel bad for the people that do care.
I don't want to be an asshole for seeming unphased or for seeming like I'm faking it. So which do I choose?

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Meowayne

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#2  Edited By Meowayne

Write about it on an internet message board.

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willin

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#3  Edited By willin

No point making a bad situation worse by saying 'That guy was an asshole'.  Keep it to yourself. 

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MordeaniisChaos

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#4  Edited By MordeaniisChaos

Be honest dude. If he has a bad guy, give your condolences to those that are mourning, and leave it at that. My father's an abusive prick, and when he dies, that's pretty much my plan, if he ever manages to convince anyone to give a shit when he does.

Best to be honest, but you can to it with respect for those who are more upset about his death.

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LordXavierBritish

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#5  Edited By LordXavierBritish

Keep not caring.

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ImmortalSaiyan

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#6  Edited By ImmortalSaiyan

I agree with the other posters. I don't know you or your uncle so if you dislike the guy, I'll assume it's justified. That is fine, you don't have to care just be sensitive to those that do.

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landon

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#7  Edited By landon

You don't have to like the dead, but you should have respect for those that might care. Keep that stuff to yourself.

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dekkadekkadekka

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#8  Edited By dekkadekkadekka

Comfort those around you who are mourning him, no need to fake an emotion you're not feeling yourself.

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MrKlorox

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#9  Edited By MrKlorox
@Meowayne said:
Write about it on an internet message board.
This. Man what the fuck.
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Animasta

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#10  Edited By Animasta

I didn't feel anything when my grandfather died because we weren't close... I just comforted mom as best I could, which is all I could do; I couldn't really fake emotion for something that big.

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LaserLambert

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#11  Edited By LaserLambert

tough to say. Is there nothing you can respect about your uncle? maybe learn something about him, unless he is scum. but i dunno, mourning for suicide victims doesn't sit well with me, they committed the crime, they should do the time.(that's an oversimplification but I don't need to go into the subject)

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bio595

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#12  Edited By bio595
@MrKlorox
@Meowayne said:
Write about it on an internet message board.
This. Man what the fuck.
Eh, I don't mind

Thanks guys. Feels really awkward, people are crying and I'm thinking about how inconvenient it is ( while consoling them of course)
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Berserk007

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#13  Edited By Berserk007

Just act like you are being stoic (strong, silent), people will read it as grieving.

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ShadowConqueror

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#14  Edited By ShadowConqueror

Keep on giving zero fucks.

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jacksukeru

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#15  Edited By jacksukeru

Be supportive of the people who did care, but try to keep your opinions out of it.

If someone really wants you at his funeral you should go. If someone wants you to say something at his funeral you should decline.

Don't do any of that passive agressive BS, but if someone really (and I mean really) pushes you for your opinion on the guy, if they don't already know, give it to them straight and put it bluntly enough so that they realize it's not something that should be dwelled on.

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eroticfishcake

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#16  Edited By eroticfishcake

Keep it to yourself and don't think you should feel bad about the death of anyone unless you genuinely do. That's what I do and people have a habit of dying around me.

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tunaburn

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#17  Edited By tunaburn

if you dont care you dont care. when my grandma died i was sad but everyone else was crying. i never cried at all. same for my grandpa actually except my dad didnt really cry there either.

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rentfn

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#18  Edited By rentfn

Keep it to yourself or talk to friends about it. I was in the same situation a few years ago. I felt my uncle was my arch nemesis and I had to drive my mom down to see him and he ended up dying a little after we got there. I felt bad for my family that liked him but I didn't really feel bad at all myself. So just talk to people you can and rant about it on the internet. If you need a random person to rant to shoot me a message we can trade evil uncle of doom stories.

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Marz

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#19  Edited By Marz

don't care about it to yourself next time please.

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Little_Socrates

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#20  Edited By Little_Socrates

Comfort those who do care. They might even help you come to terms with your uncle in some ways. Plus, you need that Judgment Arcana social link to get way up so you can summon a Trumpeter and get Cool Breeze.

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Animasta

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#22  Edited By Animasta

@Little_Socrates said:

Comfort those who do care. They might even help you come to terms with your uncle in some ways. Plus, you need that Judgment Arcana social link to get way up so you can summon a Trumpeter and get Cool Breeze.

this is totally Death, or at the very least Sun depending on the circumstances.

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Little_Socrates

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#23  Edited By Little_Socrates

@Animasta said:

@Little_Socrates said:

Comfort those who do care. They might even help you come to terms with your uncle in some ways. Plus, you need that Judgment Arcana social link to get way up so you can summon a Trumpeter and get Cool Breeze.

this is totally Death, or at the very least Sun depending on the circumstances.

It would probably be Sun, but I can't make the joke with Sun because who the hell needs any Persona of the Sun Arcana?

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ikilledthedj

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#24  Edited By ikilledthedj

I always feel bad for kinda not caring when people die or someshit but i guess i just have no soul

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iam3green

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#25  Edited By iam3green

silent is a good way.

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TheDudeOfGaming

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#26  Edited By TheDudeOfGaming

That's fucked up yo. I mean the part where you say that your uncle died and that you didn't give a singular fuck. Unless of course he came to visit you at night when there was no one around, then fuck that guy.

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Animasta

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#27  Edited By Animasta

@Little_Socrates said:

@Animasta said:

@Little_Socrates said:

Comfort those who do care. They might even help you come to terms with your uncle in some ways. Plus, you need that Judgment Arcana social link to get way up so you can summon a Trumpeter and get Cool Breeze.

this is totally Death, or at the very least Sun depending on the circumstances.

It would probably be Sun, but I can't make the joke with Sun because who the hell needs any Persona of the Sun Arcana?

Tam Lin is pretty good

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Milkman

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#28  Edited By Milkman

What do you need to fake? No one's going to call you out for not breaking down at the funeral. Just be respectful. 

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NTM

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#29  Edited By NTM

Just say "Well? Mom, Dad? I'm gonna go play video games. See ya and hope you stop crying soon. Oh, and about that guy, what was he... My uncle? Yeah, I'll spit on his grave. Alright, see ya soon." Just kidding. Sorry, that was terrible. Yeah, I kind of can be in similar situations, but the only difference is that I don't necessarily hate the person, more so the fact I don't really know a lot of them.

A lot of people on my mom's side, like aunt's, uncle's, cousins, grandparents, have died, and I have no real way to relate in the way she would feel down since I never knew them. Just don't talk about it since it's not really a topic you're comfortable talking about, and by topic, I mean specifically the death of your uncle, which in this case, you didn't really like.

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crusader8463

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#30  Edited By crusader8463

Keep not caring. It's your life to choose who you like and dislike. Just because they are related to you by blood doesn't mean you suddenly have to care for a person if they are a douche or a bad person. Just don't be a bigger douche and say stuff like that around people that might have cared for the person, because to them he was someone they cared for. If they ask you can of course be honest and say that you just didn't like the guy and that you don't want to get into it, but don't go out of your way to let everyone know that you hated him.

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Winternet

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#31  Edited By Winternet

Think about a world without internet. Those tears will roll.

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Nev

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#32  Edited By Nev

Without knowing you, your family, their individual personalities, etc., it's hard to say. So yeah, as nearly everyone else has said: The best thing you can do is comfort your family that do care about him, and be there for them, if needed. I doubt anyone will be angry or confused if you aren't crying and freaking out; people handle death in different ways

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RE_Player1

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#33  Edited By RE_Player1

Keep on not giving a fuck but don't mock those that do care. Just go along with it, not pretending to be sad and fake crying just be calm and realize that this event is for others and not yourself.

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WilltheMagicAsian

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Thousands of people die everyday. Just keep doing what you've always done.

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SeriouslyNow

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#35  Edited By SeriouslyNow

The most important thing to remember is that nobody here gives a shit.

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PrivateIronTFU

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#36  Edited By PrivateIronTFU

Apparently what you do is go on message boards and assume we care. Which we don't.

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Tireyo

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#37  Edited By Tireyo

@Landon said:

You don't have to like the dead, but you should have respect for those that might care. Keep that stuff to yourself.

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Jimbo

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#38  Edited By Jimbo

Don't touch him on the shoulder.

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Jay444111

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#39  Edited By Jay444111

People who grieve over the assholes of this world dying. Do be honest and be as insulting as possible. It does not matter what they think. If they liked the guy, they must be as horrible as that man was. No reason to be nice to them then.

Trust me... I know this stuff far too well.

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sickVisionz

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#40  Edited By sickVisionz

Pretty easy. If someone you cared about died, what would you consider acceptable funeral behavior for someone who didn't like them. When you want them to be more along the lines of, "if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all," or would you want them playing a 3DS with the volume cranked up and no headphones during the wake and screaming that the dead person was a jackass?

LOL, shits not really a hard decision or difficult to figure out what the proper conduct should be.

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Morrow

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#41  Edited By Morrow

@bio595:

I'm the honest, straightforward type.

If anyone asks about your feelings, just tell them it's hard for you to care for someone who was a bad person in your opinion. Tell them you don't want to be a hypocrite.

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S0ndor

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#42  Edited By S0ndor

Happens to me all the time. The only death I have cared about in my life was my grandfather's. Many other family members have since passed away without me caring. Some were assholes, others I simply didn't know well enough.

Life, whaddayagonnado.

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Ravenlight

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#43  Edited By Ravenlight

Fake your death, obviously.

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PrivateIronTFU

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#44  Edited By PrivateIronTFU

@Jay444111: I can't tell if youre joking or not. I hope for your sanity you are.

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eugenesaxe

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#45  Edited By eugenesaxe

If you don't feel it, don't fake it. Just be polite as necessary.

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mandude

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#46  Edited By mandude
@PrivateIronTFU: Please don't address it and for god's sake don't look it in the eyes.
 
Don't fake it, but don't take it to the other extreme and make a point about it.
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GiantsizeManThing

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@bio595: Wow, that's eerie. I'm in the exact same situation you are. My Uncle just drank himself to death and not a single tear from me.

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Jeust

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#48  Edited By Jeust

Be honest. If you didn't like him, and he was a prick, why should you be caring?

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jakkblades

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#49  Edited By jakkblades

Everyone has assholes, but not everyone is alive. Feel bad for someone who is dead.

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FancySoapsMan

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#50  Edited By FancySoapsMan

just be nice and keep your thoughts to yourself