Tom Cruise's comparison between him and a soldier

Tom Cruise likened himself to a soldier in Afghanistan.

If you are not familiar with the apparently shocking news, you can read this article: http://www.idesigntimes.com/articles/8473/20131108/tom-cruise-soldier-comment-offensive-suri-abandonment.htm?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_108010

An excert from the news that gives reason to this comparison is

It seems the 51-year-old Mission Impossible star recently sat for a deposition in a $50 million libel suit case he's launched against Bauer Publishing. The publication printed two stories after Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes divorced indicating that the actor had "abandoned" his daughter Suri. To combat the allegations, Tom Cruise likened his career as an actor to that of a deployed military soldier serving a tour in Afghanistan. In the deposition, Tom Cruise was recorded saying that acting was just as hard as being a military soldier because it often prevented him from seeing his daughter when he wished.

I feel people can be so overeactive! What I feel Tom Cruise wanted to say was that like soldiers he couldn't be with his family when he wanted.

He didn't mean his life was as hard as a soldier. He simply made the hyperbolic comparison between his relationship with Suri and a soldier with his family. It was as hyperbolic and exuberant as his jump in Oprah's couch, or the interview in a scientology video.

Who didn't, at one time, made some controversial statement in his life?

Sometimes I think people just want to direct their hate towards someone or something in a mad frenzy.

What do you think about this lattest gossip?

Yeah I'm sure that this guy who is in a cult, who's also been famous for 30 years and has very likely has been hiding his homosexuality for this whole time while also being prone to fits of eccentricity, is a perfectly sane and rational guy.

That was some very unfortunate wording on his part. Which is very unsurprising.

@jeust: I think this latest gossip is simply wrong. I don't like Tom Cruise, but we should dislike him for the things he has actually done and said, not twisting of statements like this.

From his actual deposition, you see something quite different from the sensational headlines.

When the newspaper posted a headline back in 2012 suggesting that he was a terrible parent because he was away filming a movie when his daughter went on her first day of school, Cruise's lawyer said this to the newspaper:

"But the truth, as you know, is that Mr. Cruise is a devoted father, who simply happens to be working in London on film. By your reasoning, any actor who is shooting on location in a foreign country could be charged with child abandonment, as could all of the mothers and fathers serving overseas in the military."

That seems like a reasonable enough retort to such an allegation; that just because your job keeps you away for some events in a child's life doesn't mean you're a negligent parent.

The lawyers of that newspaper then brought up that letter later during the deposition with Cruise:

Lawyer: "Now your counsel has publicly equated your absence from Suri for these extended periods of time as being analogous to someone fighting in Afghanistan. Are you aware of that?"

Cruise: "I didn't hear the Afghanistan. That's what it feels like and certainly on this last movie it was brutal. It was brutal."

Lawyer: "Do you believe that the situations are the same?"

Cruise: "Oh come on. You know, we're making a movie."

[CNN]

Clearly Cruise is simply referring to how difficult it can be to be away from your child for a long time, and he makes clear that it's ridiculous to suggest that the situations are the same. He's just making a movie; they're on a battlefield.

There's plenty of things to criticize Cruise about, but this isn't one of them.

Fuck that guy.

I think @epicsteve should chime in here because he was a soldier in Afghanistan

@haffy said:

Well, that's not really for you to say is it?

No.

People who take this the wrong way are idiots. They can't be helped.

It's like if I say "My boss sure is a ball-buster! He's worse than HITLER!!" Believe it or not, my boss isn't actually worse than Hitler. Although it's pretty damn close.

Okay, in case my other comment is too long, maybe I would get the point across better if I just put in bold letters...

THIS IS BULLSH*T.

...

Please refer to my previous comment to better understand why this is sensational media cynically twisting a simple comment about how it's brutal to be away from your kid. He does not compare what he does with what soldiers do, and he makes clear that he's just some guy making movies.

Erm why not? Opinions not allowed here or something?

This is perfectly said.

Saw this a few days ago and didn't get outraged because I'd like to think I'm rational enough to look at the comment in question in the context it was made, rather than have it cherry picked by random article C. Turns out it was a good call.

I'm pretty sure Katie Holmes is an actor too.

Xenu.

Only Tom Cruise knows whether he is gay or not. Anyway, what does his sexuality have to do with anything?

This happens all the time.

Last month, Keenan Thompson from SNL got in "hot water" (ugh, I sound like a tabloid) when asked why there weren't any black women on the cast, and haven't been since Maya Rudolph left in 2007. He mentioned that "they haven't found anyone who was ready" (paraphrasing). He was referring to Lorne Michaels and probably the casting director(s). The Internet blew up and somehow "they" turned into "we" and Keenan was shamed for a couple weeks. Now there is a problem with SNL and a lack of diversity (they seriously hired five more white guys this season and none of them stand out), and what he said was disappointing to hear, but he was a dude trying not to bad mouth his bosses because where else is he going to go if he doesn't have SNL? Snakes on a Plane ain't making a sequel any time soon.

Also, I just saw Jack Reacher and I didn't think it was good, so obviously Tom Cruise is a horrible person.

I get what he means, its a pretty demanding job that can limit your time with your family.

Seriously though, its not even fucking similar to being in the military. In fact, being busy sometimes is literally the only similarity between a soldier and Tom Cruise. Well, that and people wanting to kill you.

Maybe read what you highlighted? I don't know how you can think I care about his sexuality more than the fact he's probably been keeping it secret his whole life.

Also he reminds me of Lance Armstrong in the way he handles the accusations.

A lot of people are irrationally sensitive about anything having to do with soldiers. If he had compared his situation to any other profession I can think of, no matter how absurd, no one would care at all.

Was he also an actor forced to stay away from his child for extended periods of time?

Why would it be okay for a serviceman to compare his job to others but not for others to compare their job to a serviceman?

Either way people need to realise the context of the statement made and how he is in no way likening being an actor to the hardships of combat, he's just likening it to the difficulty of being away from home.

Wait a minute. Let me get this straight...

Tom Cruise used some unfortunate wording to describe that being an actor causes him to be away from home about as much as if you were a soldier, and instead of seeing the logic of how he was using this analogy, people got all uptight and freaked out about it?!

COLOR ME SHOCKED! *sarcasm intended*

Moreover, people may hate that he's a Scientologist, and I'll follow suit on that. However, to say "we should hate Tom Cruise for the things he does," I just don't fucking understand that at all.

Have people quickly forgotten that this guy has done some crazy awesome real life heroics? In 1996, when he helped a woman who was hit by a car, going so far as to help pay for her bills? He also saved some kids from getting crushed. He pulled some people to safety from a sailboat that was on fire. Hell, when Bill Hader was freaking out on the set of Tropic Thunder because there was a car bomb threat near his home, Tom Cruise took over directing duties, filmed two days worth of shit in A FUCKING HOUR, and then Hader was able to get home to his family.

I would HARDLY say that Tom Cruise is a bad person. I'd say he makes questionable decisions in his life that none of us can comprehend having to make in most cases, but the guy is a solid actor AND he is a real life hero. He just happens to be a little crazy every once in a while.

I would suggest that everyone watch his episode of Inside The Actor's Studio, as that man is pretty fucking genuine and quite an open book when it comes to much of his life.

It isn't just being away from your family. Some soldiers are risking their lives and doing monotonous and unthankful work and especially during a time of war, these statements are offensive. Overseas, Soldiers and Marines don't have consistent Internet or have to wait long lines to even contact a family member. Plus soldiers go out and maybe make $30K a year when he probably makes scores higher than that.

I understand the point that Cruise was trying to make, but he chose an extremely poor analogy. Clearly, the life of a deployed soldier is far more challenging than that of an employed actor, and I'm sure Cruise himself is aware of that.

Dude made a mistake. It's not worth hating him for it. If you'd like to hate him for some other reason, like his endorsement of Scientology, go for it.

Context people context!

Mr. Cruise is NOT saying "oh woe is me my life is as hard as a soldiers! let me wipe my tears with my wads of money!" he's saying "much like a serviceman on tour as an actor I will often have to be away from home for very extended periods of time and in much the same way you wouldn't call a soldier a negligent parent abandoning their child because of this time away from home it would be unfair to leverage those accusations at an actor away from home"

I'd hope everyone who would dare say "oh this is offensive!" would at least take the time to read and understand what they are supposed to be offended by...

The full context of the statement made, as has been noted previously in this thread, makes those statements far less offensive.

First of all, yes, people tend to be over-sensitive to people comparing themselves to soldiers in any way. Pretty understandable considering soldiers get paid next to nothing unless they make a career out of service AND work their fucking asses off to get up in the ranks, have no real choice in what they do or where they go once they enlist (something they volunteer for of course but none-the-less, an important distinction), and Soldiers, Marines, Sailors, and other deployed service members do so for the good of their country.

It might be a little more appropriate for him to have compared himself to, I dunno, an Alaskan fisherman or something. Service members don't leave their children to go be an actor, they go to serve their country. Actors live in more comfort during shoots than most live day to day, while deployed soldiers live in, at best, pretty shitty places (even in the US. Barracks life ain't exactly a highlight of service).

Soldiers do a fucking hell of a lot more than go make millions acting like a superhero or whatever. And yeah, I'm biased, but I'm partly just tired of these kinds of comparisons because they are silly no matter what. Don't make comparisons that don't apply. If you're on a shoot, you have every opportunity to fly back to see your kid. You can afford it, you have the time, and you aren't needed in anywhere near the same way a soldier on deployment is needed by his unit. Even if it wasn't a soldier, the comparison would be silly, and he should have just said "Hey, being away from my kid sucks." He should also admit he made the choice to leave his kid for all of that time.

Don't compare your life to even a fraction of the life of a soldier unless you lead a fraction of that life. You're just being stupid if you do that. Is it worth cursing the guy and boycotting all of his movies? No. But it was a stupid thing to say, considering the guy lives like a king because he left his kid. There really is no comparison for his situation. He's a greedy idiot who wants money more than a healthy family. Plenty of jobs out there he could be happy with (even acting!) and still keep around his family. He chose not to, and instead chased wealth and fame. The guy could retire any time he wanted and live happily with his family close at hand.

I think it's worth clarifying once again that he didn't choose to make the poor analogy. An opposing lawyer suggested the analogy to him, and he agreed that being away from his kids is tough but nothing like being a soldier. He is just a guy that makes movies. A lawyer trying to make him look bad in a trial brought up the analogy.

@truthtellah: Then I guess that makes it even less of an issue.

Yeah. It's unfortunate how many people latch onto sensational stuff like this; people just getting riled up over misleading headlines. I'm not big on defending Cruise, but this isn't anything but a gossip paper successfully getting people mad at him.

Oh, come on. Look, I'm sure Cruise believes some crazy crap, but he's merely talking about the feel of shooting a movie being similar to the displacement you feel during deployment, not actual combat. That's a perfectly reasonable comparison. In terms of having to move to various locales, unable to have access to your family, they aren't totally different(though an actor would certainly have more access out of the two).

It's not that big of a deal, really. He may have chosen a poor analogy, but I get his point.

I remember when I was a young girl, maybe 10-11, my father and a group of other flight crew members was involved with having some members of the local AHL hockey team come visit where he worked on the Navy base. They were showing them around the base, letting them on the aircraft that was flown out of there, that kind of stuff. My family was big into hockey at the time, and he brought me along so that I could meet the players. Huge thing for me and I was very lucky. My dad was on the P3 Orion kind of showing the players where he worked and telling them his job on the flight crew. One of the players, I can't remember his name now, asked me how it was having my dad gone for extended deployments, 6 months or more. I was honest and said that it was hard but that my dad was doing his job and my family did fine. He was honestly asking me so that he could figure out how his own, new family would react to him being on the road for a season.

Now, I don't think he was trying to say he was just as important or doing just as hard of a job as my dad, he just in a similar position of being away from his family. So I can understand where Tom Cruise is coming from, even if he could have maybe phrased it better.

Note - This was the mid 90s, hockey team was the Portland Pirates in case anyone is interested, didn't get to meet my fave player Kevin Kaminski, he was sick that day.

Well yeah, Tom Cruise basically IS a soldier. I mean, did any of you even see Mission Impossible 4?

You know, the dude can make that point without using a comparison. We all understand the point being made. We don't need ill-suited imagery to extra-get-it.

But there's no draft going on, nobody is forced to join the army. People make choices in life... some of those involve being away from their family for work. That's the deal. That was the comparison. Not about the hardship of risk of life, just the time spent away.

The article I read made it seem more like work/his divorce was taking a toll on his relationship with his child, to the point where he couldn't see her. I'm sorry, maybe it's a bit hyperbolic, but be loves his kid. My best friend is a cop and he says leaving his son every morning is the hardest part of the day, that's not the same as him saying being a cop is easy. I respect him as a father, and think it's shameful that these places need to constant twist things to make people look bad.

The media, these days, listen to people talk only in order to find something scandalous to print, and the public, these days, listens to people talk only to find something to be offended about.

Cruise clearly mean that his life was like a soldier's life in that he spends long periods of time away. Period. Anyone who thinks Tom Cruise was saying that his life is the same as a soldier doesn't understand basic concepts of simile.

I'm the first person to bag Cruise, but this is just a media beat up plain and simple.

Cruise is a multi millionaire and has the opportunity to stop working at any time, and still live richer than 99.9999% of the planet. Tom Cruise works to stroke his ego. He chose to be away from his family to stroke his ego. The soldier in Afghanistan is working to support his family. If he quits his job potentially his family has to move out of their house.

The two aren't really comparable. Whether or not it's right for Tom Cruise to be away from his family is a different matter.

Why should I care about this again?

Typical sensationalism. Reading the headline, I can understand why people are shocked. How can he possibly think his life compares to being a soldier?

And I'm guessing most people stopped reading there, because if you read his actual quote.. what he says really isn't particularly bad. Unfortunate choice of words, maybe, but nothing offensive or even really worth commenting on.

an actor being dramatic I dont believe it

Why does it matter if he's been hiding his sexuality? I wouldn't blame a huge Hollywood actor for being scared of the consequences of coming out especially when there are people like you around making ridiculous assumptions about his private life.

Also, how can you possibly know that he is hiding his sexuality? Are you his psychologist? Do you know him personally? Has he told you he is gay?

Tom Cruise is awesome.

That AA women on SNL story just makes me miss MadTV :(

Okay, Tom Cruise is a successful actor.