Twilight Board Game

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Steve_Ramirez

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Edited By Steve_Ramirez

Ok, so here is my beef with Twilight. I do not have a vagina. If I had a vagina, (and I secretly hope I do one day), then I would have achieved perhaps both a mental and physical orgasm. Mental in the sense that I would fall in love with Taylor Lautner's character when he takes his shirt off to wipe of a drop of blood, and physical when Taylor Lautner takes off his shirt. Essentially the movie can be synthesized to one 3 second clip. New Moon is all about the shirt-coming-off scene end of story! Now if I had a vagina, I would have care more deeply about the story. In fact, I probably would have at least known that there WAS a story to be told during those terrible two hours in the theatre. What I'm trying to say is that I feel that I feel that I am missing out on the Twilight experience all because I lack ovaries and the central governing core that is known as the vagina. We live in a sexist world folks. Men are just not well equipped for a film like this, nor do we have the needed estrogen levels to play Twilight themed board games. Just a thought.  
   

  
 
Note: Just incase you guys were wondering, yes I am on team Jacob. It was the shirt-coming-off scene that won me over.  
 
~Steve
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Steve_Ramirez

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#1  Edited By Steve_Ramirez

Ok, so here is my beef with Twilight. I do not have a vagina. If I had a vagina, (and I secretly hope I do one day), then I would have achieved perhaps both a mental and physical orgasm. Mental in the sense that I would fall in love with Taylor Lautner's character when he takes his shirt off to wipe of a drop of blood, and physical when Taylor Lautner takes off his shirt. Essentially the movie can be synthesized to one 3 second clip. New Moon is all about the shirt-coming-off scene end of story! Now if I had a vagina, I would have care more deeply about the story. In fact, I probably would have at least known that there WAS a story to be told during those terrible two hours in the theatre. What I'm trying to say is that I feel that I feel that I am missing out on the Twilight experience all because I lack ovaries and the central governing core that is known as the vagina. We live in a sexist world folks. Men are just not well equipped for a film like this, nor do we have the needed estrogen levels to play Twilight themed board games. Just a thought.  
   

  
 
Note: Just incase you guys were wondering, yes I am on team Jacob. It was the shirt-coming-off scene that won me over.  
 
~Steve
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BestUsernameEver

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#2  Edited By BestUsernameEver

Fruit avatars!, and my name is Steve, whooo!

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HandsomeDead

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#3  Edited By HandsomeDead

I am staunchly Team Edward. Not because I have any affinity towards Twilight or think Robert Pattinson is anything but a sexual fantasy ruined for anytime I now think about Kristen Stewart but it seems girls who wear Team Edward merchandise seem to love me. Maybe it's because I'm aggressively pale and use too much hairspray.

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Steve_Ramirez

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#4  Edited By Steve_Ramirez
@HandsomeDead said:
" I am staunchly Team Edward. Not because I have any affinity towards Twilight or think Robert Pattinson is anything but a sexual fantasy ruined for anytime I now think about Kristen Stewart but it seems girls who wear Team Edward merchandise seem to love me. Maybe it's because I'm aggressively pale and use too much hairspray. "
One can never use too much hairspray. But I guess the pale thing is so "in" right now. Sort of like the Ugg boot craze.  
 
@BestUsernameEver said:
" Fruit avatars!, and my name is Steve, whooo! "
We win!
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falconer

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#5  Edited By falconer

No Caption Provided
 
Team Edward ftw
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JackiJinx

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#6  Edited By JackiJinx

It's more about having a brain than a vagina.

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deactivated-5f00787182625

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I agree with the quote from the video, in fact anything to do with twilight is it's cost + $10 too much.

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iam3green

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#8  Edited By iam3green

ha, what won't they make twilight. i remember going to block buster a couple of times and they had a corner/ table full of twilight things. posters, pillows, movies. i was just like wow lol people really like twilight. 
 
i saw the first one and i just thought it was a boring movie. it did nothing like another movie. after i watched it i just thought why do people like this movie so much.

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Steve_Ramirez

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#9  Edited By Steve_Ramirez
@iam3green said:
" ha, what won't they make twilight. i remember going to block buster a couple of times and they had a corner/ table full of twilight things. posters, pillows, movies. i was just like wow lol people really like twilight.   i saw the first one and i just thought it was a boring movie. it did nothing like another movie. after i watched it i just thought why do people like this movie so much. "
I guess it's marketed towards the helpless romantics. Yes it's cheesy but I guess it works for them.
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animateria

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#10  Edited By animateria
@ShaggyChu said:
"
No Caption Provided
 Team Edward ftw "
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MarkWahlberg

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#11  Edited By MarkWahlberg

My favorite Twilight merchandise is the glittery dildo that can be refrigerated.

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Steve_Ramirez

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#12  Edited By Steve_Ramirez
@MarkWahlberg said:
" My favorite Twilight merchandise is the glittery dildo that can be refrigerated. "
Link please
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The_Laughing_Man

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#13  Edited By The_Laughing_Man

Smart. Link us right to a sex site....Even more creepy is that lemon wants the link.... 
 
We just went from " haha twilight freak" to" WTF" in record time. 

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natural_deadhead

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#14  Edited By natural_deadhead

Very creepy dildo. Although, all dildos are creepy to me.
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Steve_Ramirez

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#15  Edited By Steve_Ramirez
@natural_deadhead said:
" Very creepy dildo. Although, all dildos are creepy to me. "
I think the Harry Potter broomstick vibrator is still better though.
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falconer

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#16  Edited By falconer
@Lemon said:
" @natural_deadhead said:
" Very creepy dildo. Although, all dildos are creepy to me. "
I think the Harry Potter broomstick vibrator is still better though. "
And now a link of that is required as well.
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Steve_Ramirez

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#17  Edited By Steve_Ramirez
@ShaggyChu said:
" @Lemon said:
" @natural_deadhead said:
" Very creepy dildo. Although, all dildos are creepy to me. "
I think the Harry Potter broomstick vibrator is still better though. "
And now a link of that is required as well. "
As long as it is put to good use.
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sasshole

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#18  Edited By sasshole

funnny  video  
-ps pregunta! help me with me spanish like you said you would 

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ThePhantomnaut

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#19  Edited By ThePhantomnaut
@animateria said:
" @ShaggyChu said:
"
No Caption Provided
 Team Edward ftw "
"
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#20  Edited By sasshole

la   teléphono por favor  

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#21  Edited By sasshole
@Lemon said:

" @iam3green said:

" ha, what won't they make twilight. i remember going to block buster a couple of times and they had a corner/ table full of twilight things. posters, pillows, movies. i was just like wow lol people really like twilight.   i saw the first one and i just thought it was a boring movie. it did nothing like another movie. after i watched it i just thought why do people like this movie so much. "
I guess it's marketed towards the helpless romantics. Yes it's cheesy but I guess it works for them. "
 helpless, i thought it was hopeless? i think this sums it up  
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Hot_Karl

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#22  Edited By Hot_Karl

I was seriously mulling over buying that Scene It: Twilight game. Since it's retarded that there's a goddamn board game based on ONE MOVIE. 
 
The worst part about it is that I would actually do pretty well with all the stupid questions in the game. It's basically remembering what characters wore in certain scenes or what their exact lines where at this part.

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#23  Edited By EpicSteve
@VinceNotVance said:
" I was seriously mulling over buying that Scene It: Twilight game. Since it's retarded that there's a goddamn board game based on ONE MOVIE.   The worst part about it is that I would actually do pretty well with all the stupid questions in the game. It's basically remembering what characters wore in certain scenes or what their exact lines where at this part. "
Which is weird because coming from someone who has read all the books, I couldn't imagine enough trivia to fill a whole game. That's speaking for the entire series, not just the first movie.
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Hot_Karl

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#24  Edited By Hot_Karl
@EpicSteve: From the iPhone version that my little sister has, the game has stupidly specific questions, like "What color is Bella's scarf in the "Vampire Baseball" scene?" or "What is Jacob's first line?"
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#25  Edited By EpicSteve
@VinceNotVance said:
" @EpicSteve: From the iPhone version that my little sister has, the game has stupidly specific questions, like "What color is Bella's scarf in the "Vampire Baseball" scene?" or "What is Jacob's first line?" "
I see. Well, that's a sign of a great trivia game.
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#26  Edited By Red12b

Lemon, I love you, you're awesome.

 

And yes, I agree, Harry's vibrator is better,

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I have that game! Yes I played it with my wife :) It does have some very hard questions in it too. Just like Star Wars trivia games. Sometimes I think I am fan, but then I play these trivia games and realize how little I know.

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Hot_Karl

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#28  Edited By Hot_Karl

Here is your link duders.
 
Twilight vibrator!  

  
 
I can only find this pick of the vibrating broomstick. Obviously this child is well-adjusted and there are no sexual connotations to this picture. Whatsoever.

No Caption Provided