what peter molyneux would say in a police report.....

we all know how peter molyneux like to "exaggerate".
 
what would happen if he had to give a police report?
 
"officer it was incredible. over 400 men robbed the convenience store!"

They tickled my balls!

" The robber had the choice to be good or evil. He chose evil so big horns sprouted out of his head."

 Picture the burglary as an acorn... It started out small, but 5 minutes in people were running around with flamethrowers.

the robber had a dog. it was the most intelligent being ever conceived!

"This was no ordinary robbery, officer. It was a dynamic event in which my actions directly shaped the outcome in one of many hundreds of different ways. Also, he killed my dog."

I like where this thread is going.
 
(not cunning enough to add to the topic)

It was like no robbery ever conceived before, officer.  I believe it has pushed the boundaries of what a robbery can be for the entire industry.

officer. imagine being able to reach out and touch the shop keeper. thats what the robber did with his knife!

Molyneux: "This coup has been planned for months. The extreme amounts of money I have made in this action cannot be described in words. If you are amazed I am not surprised."
Officer: "Sir, you took an old womans purse."
Molyneux: "Let's talk sequels."

"

It was like no robbery ever conceived before, officer.  I believe it has pushed the boundaries of what a robbery can be for the entire industry.

"

"so peter. point on the doll where milo touched you"