What's in a Name? - Bisexual Online Experience

So while reading Kotaku, I found a story about this interactive story about being a bisexual.

http://www.gamingpixie.com/a-name/#

The story basically talks about this particular person's experience as a bisexual, specifically on the internet. I don't want to say that this is the experience for all bisexuals but this is something that I hadn't even considered. It seems self destructive to the community and if it happening in other places, it needs to stop. The story is only about 5 minutes and is interesting so I recommend everyone go through it.

Original Kotaku Story - http://kotaku.com/5975856/a-game-about-the-confusion-and-difficulties-that-come-with-being-bisexual

ummmmmm.........

Huh, that was interesting.

There definitely is room for confusion, especially when your emotional attractions and physical attractions go towards opposite sexes.  Any potential confusions of her sexuality isn't really something me and my (bisexual) girlfriend discuss, but we've talked about it enough for me to know that while she is more physically attracted to females, she's more emotionally attracted to males (or me at least since I'm her first significant other of the male variety).  That said, that game goes down a rather unfamiliar path since the idea of finding a community based on your sexuality is not something myself nor my girlfriend has ever even considered.

Yo, what's up with the B in LGBT then?

@Turambar said:

That said, that game goes down a rather unfamiliar path since the idea of finding a community based on your sexuality is not something myself nor my girlfriend has ever even considered.

I thought that was weird too. I just like video games and whatever happens in my pants doesn't really overlap with that.

@Turambar said:

I thought that was weird too. I just like video games and whatever happens in my pants doesn't really overlap with that.

Sexuality is a big part of video games.What's up with Zero Suit Samus?Or how about the time Kratos gets an implied sex scene?How about the booth babes at a video game convection.Or how about the back-broke poses or boob windows in League of Legends.Face it, sexuality is a big part of video games.

@Ravenlight said:

Yo, what's up with the B in LGBT then?

My best friend is bisexual. He says that even within the LGBT community, bisexuals are hated and seen as an "other". It's really weird.

mite b cool

It's supposed to be pretty quick, so I'll play through it later. Though I'm not sure if the struggle of being bisexual is much different from any other attribute that's going to separate you from the 'norm.' Sometime's you just have to accept that you're different, and that's OK, and that there are always others out there sharing your experiences. Of course, I'm sure it's not that simple...

Is anybody here actually bisexual?

@Ravenlight said:

Yo, what's up with the B in LGBT then?

@Turambar said:

That said, that game goes down a rather unfamiliar path since the idea of finding a community based on your sexuality is not something myself nor my girlfriend has ever even considered.

I thought that was weird too. I just like video games and whatever happens in my pants doesn't really overlap with that.

I don't mean a game about sexuality. I mean the real life aspect of finding a community based on your sexuality. I understand it, but its still something foreign to both me and my girlfriend considering her bisexuality is not something she uses to help define herself.

@moywar700 said:

@Turambar said:

I thought that was weird too. I just like video games and whatever happens in my pants doesn't really overlap with that.

Sexuality is a big part of video games.What's up with Zero Suit Samus?Or how about the time Kratos gets an implied sex scene?How about the booth babes at a video game convection.Or how about the back-broke poses or boob windows in League of Legends.Face it, sexuality is a big part of video games.

You're confusing games with sex or attempts at titillation and games that discusses sexuality. The former is the visual (or audio) usage of tits, ass, and fucking. The latter is an attempt at looking at the effects of one's potential romantic or sexual attractions on their social position.

@TooWalrus: The game is just trying to point out the irony/hypocrisy within a large part of the gay community that feel bi people are scum that need to be outcasted when they themselves are trying to fight against it for gays. Basically, because you like both sexes you don't really have a place to call your own or a group to side with, because the group that's supposed to protect you hates you for being different despite the whole point of the group is to fight for people that are considered different. It's a pretty disgusting thing to think about.

@crusader8463 said:

@TooWalrus: The game is just trying to point out the irony/hypocrisy within a large part of the gay community that feel bi people are scum that need to be outcasted when they themselves are trying to fight against it for gays. Basically, because you like both sexes you don't really have a place to call your own or a group to side with, because the group that's supposed to protect you hates you for being different despite the whole point of the group is to fight for people that are considered different. It's a pretty disgusting thing to think about.

Large part of the community? I'd always hoped it was a vocal minority (mostly because the whole idea of it was simply bewildering to me, based on said hypocrisy)

A group who were outcast to begin with for being different are outcasting some of their own for being. Incredibly ironic, disgusting and kinda frustrating as this sort of thing holds back the equality that this group is fighting for. Equality which they deserve but this sort of thing gives opponents ammo.

@DizzyMedal said:

@crusader8463 said:

@TooWalrus: The game is just trying to point out the irony/hypocrisy within a large part of the gay community that feel bi people are scum that need to be outcasted when they themselves are trying to fight against it for gays. Basically, because you like both sexes you don't really have a place to call your own or a group to side with, because the group that's supposed to protect you hates you for being different despite the whole point of the group is to fight for people that are considered different. It's a pretty disgusting thing to think about.

Large part of the community? I'd always hoped it was a vocal minority (mostly because the whole idea of it was simply bewildering to me, based on said hypocrisy)

I hope so, but that's never been my impression. As well, I see this hatred in straight people too. I have sadly been in several conversations with people over the years that are perfectly fine with gay people but think bi's are this evil abomination. It's really baffling the logic some people have.

@moywar700 said:

Is anybody here actually bisexual?

I am. And when i visited LGBT forums and stuff like that, i usually said i was gay because my mind was still pretty confused at that point, and when i started saying i was bisexual nobody cared because they mostly only cared about fucking me. I blame the forums on that one, not the LGBT community.

But in other points, i really felt like the protagonist:

I was divided between the emotional attraction i felt for women and the physical attraction i felt for men, and i was trying to fit on a label so that people would accept me. In her case, it was the lesbian label, in my case, it was the straight label. Also, the beautiful feeling that your love could be from either gender was something i felt too, but i was too worried about what people would think of me to fully enjoy that feeling. And the feeling that you do not belong anywhere, at least in my case, was pretty strong, because i could not identify with the community i was supposed be a part of. The feeling was so strong, sometimes i started thinking that i was supposed to be a woman, and with that comes another story and all that jazz... I thought the "game" was neat and in my opinion it does a good job of showing you how a bisexual feels. I just wish it was longer, and it showed how your family feels about it and things like that, but it was cool anyway.

huh. i identify as a bisexual male but i suppose due to being solitary i have no interest in finding some community to be a part of, but i gotta say, that doesn't sound like anything that would ever really happen to me. maybe it's a woman thing?

I finished it and it just seemed extremely childish to me. It could be about literally any topic and it just comes across as an adolescent discovering the internet is a place where all forms of negativity and opinions occur due to anonymity, and that taking any anonymous person's opinion too seriously will always end in disappointment.

@Turambar said:

That said, that game goes down a rather unfamiliar path since the idea of finding a community based on your sexuality is not something myself nor my girlfriend has ever even considered.

I've never bothered considering the notion either, even though I would consider myself to be attracted to both sexes. In what way are my private activities and sexual preference the business of anyone else? The fact that people actively seek out and/or create communities based purely on who they have sex with seems utterly bizarre to me. It's not such an important part of my own identity that I feel the need to shout it from the rooftops and such communities only seem to serve to engender bitchiness and bitterness.

This might somewhat off-topic, but anways.

Call me misinformed, but I've always considered gay/straight being a physical attraction thing. This whole idea that you are emotionally attracted to a specific gender seems... odd ? I guess you could over-generalize and say that guys tend to be one way and girls the other, but there's way too much overlaping there to make any definite statement. Not to mention that over-generalization like that complete ignores that people are people and even within a specific gender there are vast differences.

Bisexual here. I think people are making things way more complicated than they need to be. I don't let my sexuality define who I am (Even though I just stated what I am derr) and I certainly don't need the approval of strangers whether they be from the "straight community" or the "LGBT community".

Gay dude here. People get way too hung up on semantics. If you want to get stupidly technical, I'm a homoromantic bisexual. It means that I only feel romantic feelings for other dudes, but boobs are cool too I guess.

That's 8 god damn syllables, though. I call myself gay because fuck it. 1 syllable. Easy.

I've definitely seen the kind of vitriol that the game presents, and it sucks. Why would you ever be pissed about how someone describes themselves? If they like the dudes and the ladies, how does that take anything away from your own sexual identity?

As a gay man, I've always found LGBT communities to be pretty repulsive. There's a lot of scumbaggery and a lot of shallow attitudes. Moreover, I've always been conflicted with the idea of an LGBT community: forming a community around something as deeply personal as sexuality and irrelevant to public interaction seems almost like an outright contradicting notion. But minorities that face oppression, bullying and whatnot deserve a place to feel safe... it's just a shame that that place happens to center around something as unfitting as sexuality.

Still, this is a super interesting topic. Bisexuality has always fascinated me. It is such a difficult concept for me to grasp, despite actively prodding and self-educating on the matter. I feel like they live in some sort of weird sexuality limbo that both sides have a difficult time grasping. While I'm sure it is significantly more complex and varied person-to-person, I feel like if I was bisexual, I would just repress my same-sex attractions and focus on an attempt at complete normalcy. That is mostly where my lack of understanding is.

@project343: kinsey scale; some are more attracted to same sex, some are more attracted to opposite, some are equal, but it's not like it's easy to hide an attraction, so pretending to be 'normal' may be either easy or hard depending on the position on the scale.

Sadly this happens a lot.
 
You find yourself and are grateful for it, eager to share you rush off to friends or likeminded people. And then this kinda thing could happen, which is destroying to experience. Such a shame.

Uhm... unless I'm missing something, this is not actually an interactive story.

I guess I'm lucky in the regard that I discovered how terrible both the real world and the internet can be in terms of accepting anything outside of straight cisexuality before I really started questioning my own. Kind of softened the blow, even if it made me entirely bitter towards the majority of the human race and their ability to accept that which we cannot and would not change about ourselves. I don't really feel like I've noticed any particular ill-will towards people who identify as bisexual, but maybe that's just because I stay away from the shadier communities. Surely there's enough hatred outside of those communities. The kind of raw hatred that means you'll be straight-up murdered. To say the world is fucked up is an understatement. Though the notion of peer-pressure within the slightly-more-accepting community to fit yourself into a binary sexual identity seems absurd to me.

Was that supposed to be a game or a blog post presented in a unique format? I literally thought I was reading a blog with some clever linking.

Patrick will gush over this in the next Bombcast calling it genius and the future of video games.

Oh wait it's not on ios, never mind.

My former pastor never had a problem with homosexuality but he said that bisexuality was "just a fad" It's strange how people can so easily adapt to one idea but not the other.

So LGBT is more like: LGT and "them"?

In general, I think a lot of people need to realize that confusion and the vagaries of sexuality are not necessarily a unique experience for any orientation. Even a person with the most 'hegemonic' collection of traits experiences stress and heartache at self-identification and how to relate to the world sexually. I'm always impressed at these arms races for who is the most victimized by their very existence, as if it were a competition and not merely several stories playing at once.

@Crysack When you say 'form communities based on sex', do you mean a community based around that, or sub communities within it (ie; gay + video games)? The initial community forms for clearly, sexual purposes. Compare it to the club scene; everyone there is under the tacit agreement that they are there to look for sex partners (people who 'are just here to have a good time' are LYING). But once a community grows larger, subcommunities form within; this is a Latin club, this is a metal club, this is a gay club, where people can be more specific about what they want. Consider why you come to Giant Bomb rather than the largest video game site out there (I assume Gamespot); you are looking for the specific things Giant Bomb is known for, "insightful yet funny commentary on video games" and you can't get that elsewhere. People form a community that is gay + video games because they can't get that elsewhere; it's a niche.

Yo, what's up with the B in LGBT then?

@Turambar said:

That said, that game goes down a rather unfamiliar path since the idea of finding a community based on your sexuality is not something myself nor my girlfriend has ever even considered.

I thought that was weird too. I just like video games and whatever happens in my pants doesn't really overlap with that.

lol I got to admit, that game thing didn't exactly make me feel bad for bisexuals. Expecting anyone to fully accept a persons sexuality is asking quite a lot.

Also if I was to play devil's advocate, I would guess certain gays would feel pretty resentful to bisexuals because to them, it would seem like they have a choice about being openly gay/bi.

@AlexanderSheen said:

So LGBT is more like: LGT and "them"?

trans people get fucked too, so it's LG and "them"

@The_Laughing_Man said:

@Ravenlight

Yo, what's up with the B in LGBT then?

@Turambar said:

That said, that game goes down a rather unfamiliar path since the idea of finding a community based on your sexuality is not something myself nor my girlfriend has ever even considered.

I thought that was weird too. I just like video games and whatever happens in my pants doesn't really overlap with that.

And we just go with this and stop drawing this into video games?

?

@Animasta said:

@AlexanderSheen said:

So LGBT is more like: LGT and "them"?

trans people get fucked too, so it's LG and "them"

Pretty much this.

Think that the conversations being had about this are incredibly productive, glad to read a lot of the posts in this thread. That said, I don't really think this is a video game, and I have a pretty open mind about what constitutes a video game.

Yo, I'm bi. I thought the "game" was super interesting. I think it is always important to bring up the "sexuality is a spectrum" argument when discussing sexuality. I personally believe that the very this idea may make people uncomfortable, but it really is imperative to understanding what bisexual people feel. Unfortunately, as the game stated, bisexuals are often on the receiving end of a lot of prejudice in the LBGT community. This can quite possibly be a result of us having more of a choice in what relationships we pursue. If I was gay, I'd be pretty pissed if someone had more of a "decision" than I did. I personally have been in a straight relationship for a while. Does that mean I am straight or gay and in denial? No. It ebbs and flows. When i'm single, one day i can totally be crushing on a guy, and the next I can feel like I need sexual relations with a girl. And a lot of people don't really understand or accept that. It's not constant in the same ways other sexualities are. For me (other bisexuals mileage may vary) the only constant thing is that things are constantly in flux. It's also confusing as fuck. The bright side is that whenever I'm in a relationship I am pretty locked down. Since I've been in my current relationship I've not really felt the need to be with anyone other than my partner. I think another part of the prejudice against bisexuals constructs this image that we need to have sexual relations with everyone all the time, and are very likely to cheat because of it. It's complicated. I did a terrible job explaining it.