Why do we lie to kids about the existence of Santa Claus?

I found out one of my little cousins got a gift from Santa. She's 11 years old. There was a discussion among the family and people aren't sure if she actually believes in Santa or if she's just saying it's from Santa so that she can get what she wants from the parents. She's in the upper tier of the kid age range as all the other little cousins are younger than her and those older than her are already in their late teens.

I myself might have believed in Santa for a year or two (I have no memory of believing in Santa), but since I have older cousins I knew it was all a sham before I started kindergarten.

Why are kids fed the Santa lie? What is gained? Does it teach that the world is full of lies and they shouldn't believe everything they are told? What the real reason?

Because it's make-believe and fun.

Because everyone else does, so you're kind of screwed either way. If you don't, you're stuck with a kid ruining everyone else's fun, and some angry parents.

Far worse is that fucking Elf on the Shelf nonsense, which is basically a corporation trying to get you to lie to your kids, and buy their products.

Because it's fun for the kids. It has ritual and mystique to it for small children and it makes it an exciting time of year. Kids work out it's not real very quickly (I work in a primary school) and they never seem hugely offended and feel that "the world is full of lies".

Don't worry about it. You don't need to be a shining knight defending small children from this "sham".

I'm 30 and my grandparents still sign their gifts as being from Santa. It's just all a bit of fun.

I always remember it being super creepy sitting on Santa's lap...

I'm not sure. He's taking all the credit for the hardwork of the gift givers!

I think there's a Big Boi line about this exact thing but I can't remember where.

It's good natured, but I take issue with such lying to children, who uncritically believe you. Feeding young minds with nonsense (from Santa to all the gods) presented as reality. And if you tell the truth to the kid, then you're the bad guy. We should do better and modify the traditions. Lies are not necessary in order to have a good holiday spirit.

I get it, you're saying it seems so arbitrary. To me, it always seemed like a way to get children to tell their parents what they want for Christmas without feeding their ego. And what I mean by that is the children don't ask their parents for something specific and just get it. It also gives parents a way to punish their children for being bad without the resentment from their children, I guess; if the children don't receive something from Santa then they feel bad for not being included on his good list. Also, the mysticism was fun for me as a child. As I grew I kept trying to put it together how this guy could do what he does, and that's fun. It's like being a detective and when I found out for myself that there's no way he could do this, I felt proud of myself; I used my knowledge of the real world to debunk an old belief.

Anyway, this is all just my interpretation of the benefits to keeping the tradition going. Of course there's all of the proper origins and what not but it is fun to think about why we choose to go along with it when we're adults, instead of just dismissing it as fun.

It's something fun for kids when they're young and care free in an otherwise dark and scary world.

Let them have it.

You should go undercover as an elf at next year's Santa event at your local mall so you can spread the truth to all the little kids waiting to tell that faker what they want for Christmas.

Because it's fun. years ago I wouldn't understand it with you, but now that I have kids of my own, it is a blast. Yeah the 7 month old has no idea, but my now 3 1/2 year old loves Santa and everything Christmas-y, and it's been great seeing her excited! Also as an adult, it has made Christmas mean more then just another day a bit, being able to use it to make my daughters happy.

Life sucks, and kids nowadays learn that even younger then before, so what's wrong with letting them have 8-11 years of fun before some mean penguin on the internet tells them they shouldn't?

My parents never told any of us about Santa Claus and it was openly understood that presents are exchanged between people, and we didn't lose any of the Christmas spirit. Really, kids enjoy the thing; whether they're from Santa or M&P doesn't matter.

Besides, it just teaches the kids to not believe you. "Cocaine is bad for me, huh? WELL YOU TOLD ME SANTA WAS REAL, HOW CAN I TRUST YOU?!"

People like their mass delusions. And it teaches children they should trust no one.

I am in no way exaggerating when I say learning there was no Santa Clause was the biggest existential crisis I've ever had in my life and made me an atheist which I remain to this day.

Why do you do that shit to kids, it's so mean.

I've heard of parents not outright telling their kids Santa doesn't exist, but try to use it as a lesson in critical thinking, walking through how possible the claims are for a Santa. Sort of letting the kids work it out themselves. It's an interesting approach.

Anyone who says "when your child finds out Santa isn't real it will cause trust issues between you and your kid" is a giant fucking knob.

I enjoyed all the Santa nonsense as a kid. If my parents were the ones pushing it on me maybe I might've taken it too seriously, but as it was I mostly consumed that stuff from school and TV. So it was really just another fun seasonal fairy tale.

Also I guess there's the whole being good thing? Kinda forgot about that, but that's probably the whole point: keeping your kids in line with a magical slaver who breaks into your house every year and gets you in on his ill-gotten goods if you keep quiet and mind your business.

Oh fuck.

Dude I agree. I have no idea. When I found out it really fucked me up for a little bit (like a week or so lol). It just seems unnessecary. It's fun until you find out it's not true. Then you cry. A lot.

It's the fun kind-of make believe, but I also don't think it's the biggest thing in the world. I enjoyed believing in it as a kid but rationalized my way through it as I got older. There was a radio-lab or maybe This American Life where they looked at a family who acted out santa claus scenarios for the kids, left a trail of evidence as proof, and maintained the myth of santa until these kids were in High School. It was really messed up, that's not healthy. The kids ranged from being happy about it, to absolutely despising their parents and themselves. But most people are normal about it.

Just don't make it weird? Never go full santa.

Police state.

something something simulacrum

something something hyperreality

how do you lie about something that isn't real?

It's just part of the Christmas spirit, like putting up the tree and lights, but yeah, I kind of wish we didn't lie, though I will not be one to tell a kid the truth, unless I happen to be the parent of that kid, and they're old enough and hadn't learned the truth yet. I asked my cousin, nine years old, if she writes a Christmas list; she said she does, and like last year, she said she sleeps in the living room hoping to wake up and see Santa. She told me something along the lines of Santa putting a magic spell/necklace on her, and remarks that it's awkward since with the exception of Christmas, she usually wakes up throughout the night. I believed in Santa until about third grade I think; could have been second when I was seven or eight, then my brother told me he wasn't real and that we should see at night who puts the presents out. I think we peaked out of our bedroom door, as my other brother slept, to see that they were putting presents under the tree. I was a bit surprised, but not saddened or anything. I remember wondering if I should tell my parents I actually knew. I was one that, and I feel super bad about it still, that told a friends little sister that Santa wasn't real. I was an immature seventh grader.

It teaches kids to grow up and think for themselves. When they're really young, they'll believe anything that comes out of your mouth, but once they get a little bit older, they'll start picking up on things. They'll put the pieces together and wonder if the Santa story really makes any sense, or they'll hear talk from other kids that have already figured it out. And once they figure it out for themselves, normally, they'll get over it and conclude that believing in Santa isn't paramount to Christmas enjoyment. They may even reminisce of the days when they once believed in Santa.

The Santa lie is basically a test of curating a healthy, active mind. Does your kid think critically about what they hear before they accept it? Normally, children will develop such a skill, and while it isn't an absolute requirement of life, the Santa lie is a fun, harmless way for them to start on it.

Here's an excellent piece from the Nostalgia Critic arguing in favor of the Santa lie.

PS. Please note that there are absolutely some awful, awful ways to lie about Santa to your kids that will scar them for life. Don't take the lie to far. Respect the lie.

Flagged for spoilers in the title.
I kiiiid I kiiiid.

I was a naive kid, if my parents told me something, it was true and I didn't question shit, if somebody didn't tell me something, I didn't figure it out. Even once I knew Easter Bunny and other make believes weren't real, I still believed in Santa, I bawled like crazy when my sister told me he wasn't real.
But, probably no more than a day later I didn't care, it didn't rock my world "Everything is all liiiiiiiieeeeees!" I was a kid, I continued being a kid, I think most kids who believe in Santa have had some experience being lied to to doing the lies to someone else. It's not a world shattering event.
And I kind of cherish some of the silly memories from back then. "Santa ate the cookies! Santa ate the cookies holy moly Santa ate the cookies! MY MIND IS BEING BLOWN!"

I don't think there is anything wrong with not telling the Santa lie to a kid though, especially these days when so many commercials or products try to co-opt the lie to sell their shit to kids, that part is pretty messed up.
So I think it's a morally grey thing, lie to your kids, let them have some fun times, prepare for the big fallout that could occur depending on how they figure it out.
Or don't tell them, and they'll have a step up on the other kids but missing out on the fun. To each their own?

If you think about it, is it any worse than the lies we tell ourselves every day? I don't mean like, deep dark secret lies. But every time you get invested in the story or characters of a game or movie or book or whatever, you are lying to yourself just enough to be able to buy into the thing that isn't real, but gives you a sense of joy or whatever you feel by lying juuuuust enough that you can take it seriously and have a good time.

we lie to the kids so we can blame Santa in the event the kid is severely disappointed that they didn't get what they wanted for Christmas.

Because Santa is making a list and checking it twice so he knows who has been naughty or nice. Jeez.

The difference between Santa and Jesus is that a lot of the Jesus stories have a very implicit meaning and lesson. Stories about helping out your enemies in a time of need and being kind to the sick. Stories about rich dudes hoarding wealth for nothing when they could be helping out the poor. Stories about proper placement of buildings (don't build that shit on sand). A lot of stories about forgiveness. Even if Jesus resurrecting people and walking around with superpowers is bullshit, those stories still serve a purpose.

Santa is way more ambiguous. We don't really know what his motivations are and he's not really a big metaphor or a life lesson for kids. In many ways he's even more of an engima than Jesus himself.

THEY CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

My guess is that it's for three reasons: it makes it easier to find out what their kids want for presents without being nagged directly about them; let's parents threaten that Santa will skip their house in exchange for good behavior (only really works in November/December); and so the children don't feel obligated to give a real gift to parents.

I'm not a parent, and I'm going to guess most of the people posting in this thread are also not parents. Soo... I dunno. I bet it's fun.

Tradition, also it's profitable.

Listen I got angry when I found out it was a big lie, but there was nothing quite as magical as waking up in the morning and actually believing that big guy in a red suit with a sleigh pulled by freaking deer from the North Pole had actually come into your house and left those gifts, I would give anything as an adult to feel that way again.

This thread is hilarious. Lighten the fuck up, people. We tell kids that Santa is real because kids love fairy tales and make believe shit. Santa makes Christmas more fun for them so why on earth would you want to take that away?

I was going to say something about Santa Claus, but then I realized that there is a post in this thread that implies that Jesus did not exist. I'm just going to back away now.

Jesus is totally real. He's hanging out with Tupac in Cuba.

red reindeer noses can't melt steel beams.

I don't plan on saying anything specific to my kids about Santa until they ask, and then I'll ask them if they really want to know. And if they do, I'll tell them.

I understand the idea that it's just a bit of fun, and that kids should have their fantasies, but I really don't want to lie to my children (or anyone, for that matter). I have trouble imagining a context where lying is good for a close relationship. In my opinion, there's always a way to tell the truth that isn't hurtful, you just have to find it.

And I don't remember having any trouble getting into the wonder and magic of the universe despite a lack of belief in overweight gift-giving elves.

Santa personifies social goodwill in a way that children can more readily understand. He stands as a (mostly) impartial spectator of everything you do, seeing all your actions whether others see them or not, and his judgment is felt directly through the receipt of presents.

He makes the reward for being a good person less abstract in the hopes that, by the time you stop believing in him, you've developed enough emotionally to find being a good person intrinsically fulfilling.

A lot of jaded motherfuckers here it seems.

I grew up being told about Santa and believing it for some number of years. I don't even remember when I found out the truth, but it was not some big horrible reveal that made me feel betrayed and distrust my parents and society. It's just one of the many things you learn growing up and you accept it and move on. (Of all the lies and mistruths you're told as a kid that's a pretty harmless one.) But as a kid the myth is magical and fun and watching your kids or younger siblings or relatives get excited over it is also magical and fun in its own way.

Even now, when everyone in my family is long past actually believing in Santa we still half-pretend that Santa brings presents. Just like we still put up stockings and fill it with goodies. It's all just part of Christmas tradition.

There's nothing wrong if that's not a tradition you feel the need to partake in, but don't be the type of jerk who tries to dismiss others traditions as inferior or dumb. Nobody likes that person.

I'm surprised no one posted this yet.

Growing up in an apartment, I remember asking how Santa will get inside if we don't have a chimney. My mom replied that she'll leave the door unlocked for him. I then ask her "what if someone breaks in?" and she replies "Yeah, there's no Santa."

It's not some devastating reveal for kids. People that have no kids like to say all the things we'd do different if we had kids, like not lie to them. I used to be that way before I realized that it's just a fun tradition which appears to be harmless. Kids have been told this horrible lie for over 100 years and it's had no lasting effects. Don't worry about it. To me it's a way to give gifts to small children without them thinking "fuck yeah I can get free shit just by asking! I expect this now!" which is a much harder thing to fix than "oh, Santa isn't real." They don't seem to think of it as a lie. Kids are like pets, you feed them and they like/trust/depend on you. Santa isn't taking that bond away from anyone.

I grew up poor and, as a result, I always knew the value of a dollar and hard work. Because of this, I was usually reluctant when asking my parents for expensive gifts (expensive being anything more than $10) even when they could afford to splurge a little. But when it was time for Christmas and I believed that Santa was the one bringing gifts, it removed any sense of guilt when asking for a new video game and whatnot. I'm of the belief that lying is something that should never be done but there can sometimes be positive effects to come from it.

I say enough with the lies. Parents need to stop telling their kids that Santa doesn't exist.

THE LESS PEOPLE THAT BELIEVED, THE WEAKER HE BECAME. BUT THE RED KING SHALL ONCE AGAIN RETURN FROM THE NORTH AND DEVOUR HIS ENEMIES. HE SHALL LAUGH AND DANCE IN THE BLOOD OF THE NON-BELIEVERS WHILST MAKING 'MERRY' WITH HIS QUEEN, RUDOLPH.

Pretty much this. I can't remember when I found out, or even if it was a single event rather than just inference over time, but it never made me feel betrayed or anything. But then again, people are different, and so have different responses to stuff.

Duders, kids don't see the world as we do. To them, everything is either awesome, or soul-crushing, but then really scary, followed by tons of fun.

Kids are drunk and high people that sober up as the years go by. Let 'em have their fun.

I don't ever remember being bothered when I found out Santa didn't exist. However I'm 24 and ever since I have been with my girlfriend, every year my stocking presents are always from "Santa" it's a silly joke but I think it's cute.