Why I Hate Your Boyfriend

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fembotbeck

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Edited By fembotbeck

Alternating waves of excitement and trepidation washed over me as I took a seat in the styling chair at the cosmetology school student salon.  This is the level of mundane I have acheived at the ripe, old age of 31; the intense thrill of getting a haircut by someone who possibly should not ever be allowed to wield a pair of shears.  Before long my Stylist of the Day was happily snipping away at the hair I had so recklessly been growing for the past six months and, as is wont to happen, small talk ensued.
 
She asked if there was any special reason why I chose to change my radically style-free hair.  I explained that there was a gamer convention coming up and, seeing as this is pretty much the only week of the year a nerd girl like me can actually get laid, I figured I would try to at least look as though I give half a shit.  After she stopped giggling she uttered the inevitable words I have come to dread: "Oh, my boyfriend is a gamer".  She then asked what games I play and I tried to express my love affair with Bastion as succinctly as possible, told her about the planned Fallout: New Vegas road trip my best friend and I are taking soon and explained why the Kingdom of Loathing comic book will be "the best thing ever".
 
She smiled and nodded and flung wet scraps of red hair to the floor.  "That sounds neat.  I don't play but my boyfriend is really into games.  He plays this one -- what's it called?"  My heart sank.  "Call of Duty," I asked.  Her face lit up with recognition, and with those three words my perception of a man I've never met changed from cool guy who is into cool things to just some dude who is dating a bubbly, blonde cosmetology student and probably bathes in Axe body spray.  Backwards baseball cap.  Honda Civic with one fake tailpipe and another three sizes too big.  Sitting in front of a flat screen that costs more than his entire college education with his two roommates, surrounded by several dozen crushed PBR cans ... I could go on, but I don't think either of us want that.
 
Now, I am not going to argue merits of what is probably the highest grossing video game franchise in the history of modern warfare.  Yes, it's popular, I get it.  And if it were entirely shit no amount of marketing in the world could save it.  In fact, I'm not going to go into the issues that I have with Call of Duty and similar titles because, honestly, that's not what this rant is about.  What it really boils down to is this:  Being into one game - the same game that half of the population of the world is also into - does not qualify you as a gamer.  I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is.  I don't even call myself a gamer.  Sure, I have a passable knowledge on what's going on in the industry, and can bitch and moan about non-intuitive console control functions or my FPS being capped with the best of them.  But that's where it ends with me.  I played a total of 2 hours of the Starcraft 2 beta before handing the controls over to my roommate (who actually is a gamer).  I find WoW about as interesting as a stripper named Candi (in that it's nice to look at for a while, but eventually I want something more, and preferably without having to keep feeding it my credit card number).  And while I've watched the aforementioned roommate play through pretty much every major release from the past year, I've personally touched only a handful.
 
So, yeah, I am *not* a gamer, although I hope to achieve that rank some day.  But, neither is Mr. Herp Derp Look-At-My-Big-Gun.
 
Or, to put it another way, the fact that you play Guitar Hero does not make you a musician any more than GTA makes you a master carjacker.  And spending 16 hours a day shooting at your fellow bro dudes absolutely does not qualify you as a gamer.
 
End rant.

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fembotbeck

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#1  Edited By fembotbeck

Alternating waves of excitement and trepidation washed over me as I took a seat in the styling chair at the cosmetology school student salon.  This is the level of mundane I have acheived at the ripe, old age of 31; the intense thrill of getting a haircut by someone who possibly should not ever be allowed to wield a pair of shears.  Before long my Stylist of the Day was happily snipping away at the hair I had so recklessly been growing for the past six months and, as is wont to happen, small talk ensued.
 
She asked if there was any special reason why I chose to change my radically style-free hair.  I explained that there was a gamer convention coming up and, seeing as this is pretty much the only week of the year a nerd girl like me can actually get laid, I figured I would try to at least look as though I give half a shit.  After she stopped giggling she uttered the inevitable words I have come to dread: "Oh, my boyfriend is a gamer".  She then asked what games I play and I tried to express my love affair with Bastion as succinctly as possible, told her about the planned Fallout: New Vegas road trip my best friend and I are taking soon and explained why the Kingdom of Loathing comic book will be "the best thing ever".
 
She smiled and nodded and flung wet scraps of red hair to the floor.  "That sounds neat.  I don't play but my boyfriend is really into games.  He plays this one -- what's it called?"  My heart sank.  "Call of Duty," I asked.  Her face lit up with recognition, and with those three words my perception of a man I've never met changed from cool guy who is into cool things to just some dude who is dating a bubbly, blonde cosmetology student and probably bathes in Axe body spray.  Backwards baseball cap.  Honda Civic with one fake tailpipe and another three sizes too big.  Sitting in front of a flat screen that costs more than his entire college education with his two roommates, surrounded by several dozen crushed PBR cans ... I could go on, but I don't think either of us want that.
 
Now, I am not going to argue merits of what is probably the highest grossing video game franchise in the history of modern warfare.  Yes, it's popular, I get it.  And if it were entirely shit no amount of marketing in the world could save it.  In fact, I'm not going to go into the issues that I have with Call of Duty and similar titles because, honestly, that's not what this rant is about.  What it really boils down to is this:  Being into one game - the same game that half of the population of the world is also into - does not qualify you as a gamer.  I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is.  I don't even call myself a gamer.  Sure, I have a passable knowledge on what's going on in the industry, and can bitch and moan about non-intuitive console control functions or my FPS being capped with the best of them.  But that's where it ends with me.  I played a total of 2 hours of the Starcraft 2 beta before handing the controls over to my roommate (who actually is a gamer).  I find WoW about as interesting as a stripper named Candi (in that it's nice to look at for a while, but eventually I want something more, and preferably without having to keep feeding it my credit card number).  And while I've watched the aforementioned roommate play through pretty much every major release from the past year, I've personally touched only a handful.
 
So, yeah, I am *not* a gamer, although I hope to achieve that rank some day.  But, neither is Mr. Herp Derp Look-At-My-Big-Gun.
 
Or, to put it another way, the fact that you play Guitar Hero does not make you a musician any more than GTA makes you a master carjacker.  And spending 16 hours a day shooting at your fellow bro dudes absolutely does not qualify you as a gamer.
 
End rant.

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Afroman269

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#2  Edited By Afroman269

A gamer is someone who plays games. Call of Duty is a game. People recently just started to look into redefining gamer because they don't like being associated with the dude bros that play CoD. People need to stop taking things so seriously and just move on.

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SexualBubblegumX

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#3  Edited By SexualBubblegumX

Honestly, the term Gamer is so bastardized at this point it shouldn't be used. The way I look at it, if you only play video games and don't do the table top stuff (Dungeons and Dragons, Magic: The Gathering, Battletech, etc) You're not a real gamer. Until some one tries tabletop gaming, they're just some silly kid.

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HandsomeDead

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#4  Edited By HandsomeDead

A true gamer only plays the unpopular games where you shoot people.

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ThunderSlash

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#5  Edited By ThunderSlash

So... video games...

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Swoxx

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#6  Edited By Swoxx

@HandsomeDeadsaid:

A true gamer only plays the unpopular games where you shoot people.

Spot on!

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Yanngc33

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#8  Edited By Yanngc33
@ThunderSlash
So... video games...
Apparently they get you laid???
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Bruce

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#9  Edited By Bruce
@fembotbeck:  
 
This is how people who don't share our hobby view our hobby. It's just the way it is.
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MikeinSC

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#10  Edited By MikeinSC
@fembotbeck said:
Alternating waves of excitement and trepidation washed over me as I took a seat in the styling chair at the cosmetology school student salon.  This is the level of mundane I have acheived at the ripe, old age of 31; the intense thrill of getting a haircut by someone who possibly should not ever be allowed to wield a pair of shears.  Before long my Stylist of the Day was happily snipping away at the hair I had so recklessly been growing for the past six months and, as is wont to happen, small talk ensued.  She asked if there was any special reason why I chose to change my radically style-free hair.  I explained that there was a gamer convention coming up and, seeing as this is pretty much the only week of the year a nerd girl like me can actually get laid, I figured I would try to at least look as though I give half a shit.  After she stopped giggling she uttered the inevitable words I have come to dread: "Oh, my boyfriend is a gamer".  She then asked what games I play and I tried to express my love affair with Bastion as succinctly as possible, told her about the planned Fallout: New Vegas road trip my best friend and I are taking soon and explained why the Kingdom of Loathing comic book will be "the best thing ever".  She smiled and nodded and flung wet scraps of red hair to the floor.  "That sounds neat.  I don't play but my boyfriend is really into games.  He plays this one -- what's it called?"  My heart sank.  "Call of Duty," I asked.  Her face lit up with recognition, and with those three words my perception of a man I've never met changed from cool guy who is into cool things to just some dude who is dating a bubbly, blonde cosmetology student and probably bathes in Axe body spray.  Backwards baseball cap.  Honda Civic with one fake tailpipe and another three sizes too big.  Sitting in front of a flat screen that costs more than his entire college education with his two roommates, surrounded by several dozen crushed PBR cans ... I could go on, but I don't think either of us want that. Now, I am not going to argue merits of what is probably the highest grossing video game franchise in the history of modern warfare.  Yes, it's popular, I get it.  And if it were entirely shit no amount of marketing in the world could save it.  In fact, I'm not going to go into the issues that I have with Call of Duty and similar titles because, honestly, that's not what this rant is about.  What it really boils down to is this:  Being into one game - the same game that half of the population of the world is also into - does not qualify you as a gamer.  I'm sorry, but that's just the way it is.  I don't even call myself a gamer.  Sure, I have a passable knowledge on what's going on in the industry, and can bitch and moan about non-intuitive console control functions or my FPS being capped with the best of them.  But that's where it ends with me.  I played a total of 2 hours of the Starcraft 2 beta before handing the controls over to my roommate (who actually is a gamer).  I find WoW about as interesting as a stripper named Candi (in that it's nice to look at for a while, but eventually I want something more, and preferably without having to keep feeding it my credit card number).  And while I've watched the aforementioned roommate play through pretty much every major release from the past year, I've personally touched only a handful.  So, yeah, I am *not* a gamer, although I hope to achieve that rank some day.  But, neither is Mr. Herp Derp Look-At-My-Big-Gun. Or, to put it another way, the fact that you play Guitar Hero does not make you a musician any more than GTA makes you a master carjacker.  And spending 16 hours a day shooting at your fellow bro dudes absolutely does not qualify you as a gamer.  End rant.
What qualifies as a "gamer", out of curiosity?
 
And girls can get laid pretty easily. Ask a guy to have sex and your odds of success will exceed 90%. Easily.
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Vonocourt

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#11  Edited By Vonocourt

@fembotbeck said:

...with those three words my perception of a man I've never met changed from cool guy who is into cool things to just some dude who is dating a bubbly, blonde cosmetology student and probably bathes in Axe body spray. Backwards baseball cap. Honda Civic with one fake tailpipe and another three sizes too big. Sitting in front of a flat screen that costs more than his entire college education with his two roommates, surrounded by several dozen crushed PBR cans ...

Man talk about stereotyping.

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Ghostiet

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#12  Edited By Ghostiet

I like wearing baseball caps backwards, but I don't like Call of Duty.

WHERE IS MY PLACE IN THE WORLD

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ThunderSlash

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#13  Edited By ThunderSlash
@Ghostiet said:

I like wearing baseball caps backwards, but I don't like Call of Duty.

WHERE IS MY PLACE IN THE WORLD

Playing Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 4 LYFE!
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broqz

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#14  Edited By broqz
@fembotbeck: kinda feel like i need to defend both cosmetologist (i've been one for about 14 years) and someone who has and still plays CoD.  We're not all all vapid people.  in fact most of my clients like the wide array of subject we talk about while they are in my chair.  anything from politics to religion (which they actually tell you in hair school to NOT talk about) to video games to movies.  sorry you had to deal with some 20 something that is only doing that for a job until she gets married and pops a kid out and has her husband (or the government) take care of her.  if you live in and around the southern kc area let me know and i would be happy to give you a better service.  
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RVonE

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#15  Edited By RVonE

At any rate, I never understood why one who plays video games is called a gamer. It wasn't like that in the 80s and 90s. Do you call a person who plays chess a chesser? How about checkers? Checkerser? Is a board game player also a gamer?

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Ghostiet

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#16  Edited By Ghostiet
@ThunderSlash said:
@Ghostiet said:

I like wearing baseball caps backwards, but I don't like Call of Duty.

WHERE IS MY PLACE IN THE WORLD

Playing Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 4 LYFE!

Actually, that is a future I might be quite down with.

Though 3 would be preferable, since you can play as the Doom guy.

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kmdrkul

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#17  Edited By kmdrkul

Get off your high horse.

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rawrnosaurous

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#18  Edited By rawrnosaurous

Why do we have to qualify what a gamer is? It's like you want to be the alpha Geek picking on the other geeks, because you don't like something does not mean it is beneath you and those who like it are as well.
 
Also it's very unattractive to judge people based on their interest, which I would hope someone growing up as a Geek would have learned by now. I guess if I have to take anything away from this post is that the majority of Geeks want to be the Jock that picks on others, instead of wanting the jocks to leave them alone.

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Moth_Pope

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#19  Edited By Moth_Pope

@RVonE: No, that makes them a boarder. But then isn't someone who skates or surfs also a border? I'm confused.

One thing I hate more than people putting everything into snappy one-word terms (especially "gamer"), are people who actually take them seriously. Just read your topic back and look at what you're saying. "He has no right to be a gamer." What the fuck are you on about? And why does it matter? I'm 24 and have been playing games my whole life. Throughout the years I've been through classics such as Super Mario World, Ocarina Of Time, GTA San Andreas... But I really like Call of Duty as well. Even if I didn't, I wouldn't try and put myself above anyone who just plays COD. They're videogames for God's sake. There's no such thing as a bigger or better "gamer" than another person.

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tim_the_corsair

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#20  Edited By tim_the_corsair

I have to say that I disagree completely with your 'definition' of gamer, but hot damn you can write a funny rant!

Brava.

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tallTuck94

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#21  Edited By tallTuck94

this blog makes you sound like a snobbish bitch

although i'll admit i used to be like you i've come to accept that anyone can play any game and that's cool with me

and "gamer" is such a shitty term, it suggests you think your better than this guy who sticks to what he enjoys

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TheKing

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#22  Edited By TheKing

Maybe it wasn't the hair that was holding you back.

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DanielJW

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#23  Edited By DanielJW

@TheKing said:

Maybe it wasn't the hair that was holding you back.

Boomshackalacka!

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Vonocourt

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#24  Edited By Vonocourt

Ouch, thread be getting harsh.

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Video_Game_King

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#25  Edited By Video_Game_King

Huh? Who said that I'm gay? Granted, I spend a lot of time with a guy who wears nothing but roller skates and a banana hammock, but it's a purely platonic relationship.

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billyman6675

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#26  Edited By billyman6675

Entertaining post

End first and probably last post

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UncleClassy

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#27  Edited By UncleClassy

OP seems like a pretty cool guy.
He's a girl and doesn't afraid of anything!

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TheSeductiveMoose

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Why?

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rawrnosaurous

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#29  Edited By rawrnosaurous
@Video_Game_King said:
Huh? Who said that I'm gay? Granted, I spend a lot of time with a guy who wears nothing but roller skates and a banana hammock, but it's a purely platonic relationship.
I know that guy he's cool, we go roller discoing every other weekend.
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MikkaQ

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#30  Edited By MikkaQ

See the thing about the highest selling video game of all time is... all kinds of people buy and play it. There's no need to generalize.

Bet you would feel great if I said after learning you were a female gamer something like: "Oh have fun with some fruity melodramatic JRPG or Nintendogs or something"

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RVonE

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#31  Edited By RVonE

@Moth_Pope said:

@RVonE: No, that makes them a boarder. But then isn't someone who skates or surfs also a border? I'm confused.

One thing I hate more than people putting everything into snappy one-word terms (especially "gamer"), are people who actually take them seriously. Just read your topic back and look at what you're saying. "He has no right to be a gamer." What the fuck are you on about? And why does it matter? I'm 24 and have been playing games my whole life. Throughout the years I've been through classics such as Super Mario World, Ocarina Of Time, GTA San Andreas... But I really like Call of Duty as well. Even if I didn't, I wouldn't try and put myself above anyone who just plays COD. They're videogames for God's sake. There's no such thing as a bigger or better "gamer" than another person.

Well said.

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Video_Game_King

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#32  Edited By Video_Game_King
@Rawrnosaurous said:
@Video_Game_King said:
Huh? Who said that I'm gay? Granted, I spend a lot of time with a guy who wears nothing but roller skates and a banana hammock, but it's a purely platonic relationship.
I know that guy he's cool, we go roller discoing every other weekend.
Really? Is there anything particularly sexy about roller discoing? I'll have to ask him about this later today.
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deactivated-5f8b49bb7fea7

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I've always disliked the term gamer not so much for grammatical reasons, but because of the way in which people who refer to themselves as such say it.  
 
Example:  
 
"So what do you like to do? Got any hobbies?" 
"Oh, I'm a gamer. *smug grin* " 
 
Why is "I play video games" not sufficient? Why do people who enjoy playing video games feel the need to define themselves by that? Why do they think gaming is some sort of secret elite club that people can only join if they play the right games? 
 
I, for one, want to see video gaming become more mainstream, because the sooner that happens, the sooner society realizes everyone who plays games isn't automatically a social outcast. 
 
(Note: some people use the term gamer in completely inoffensive contexts, and that's their choice. However, it's been abused so much that the mere sight of it makes me a bit ill.)

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randyf

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#34  Edited By randyf

I just hate the term "gamer." The argument about "chesser" or "boarder" or whatever that was brought up is perfect. It can be applied to anything. Are people who are way into movies called Moviers? Filmers? No, because it's stupid. We are people who enjoy playing video games. Lumping us into the category "gamers" makes us kind of sound like hippies. I am a person that plays way more video games than the average person and knows way more about video games than the average person (most of us here, if not all of us, do) and I would never call myself a gamer. Not because I don't think I "deserve" the title, but because I think it sounds stupid.

I think that girl was just trying to be nice by trying to relate to your hobby. Then again, I hate getting my haircut because for some reason the small talk with the stylist just irritates me. Plus, I'm lazy. I'm getting off topic now.

I, myself, have played a fair amount of Call of Duty. It's not my favorite game and not even my favorite shooter, but I enjoy it. And I can tell you that I am none of those things you listed about people who play it (except that I don't think Axe Body Spray smells all that bad). But I can understand your frustration. The ignorance about our hobby can bother me sometimes, but I try not to let it get to me too often.

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gamer_152

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#35  Edited By gamer_152  Moderator

Interesting to see how some people will base their entire view of a person on a single forum thread they posted, or claim that there's something wrong with someone else when they're the one needlessly throwing insults at them because they wrote something they don't like. Anyway, I don't think "gamer" is a rank to be earned, just as you wouldn't say "football player", "movie goer" or "music fan" are ranks to be earned. We need a word in the English language for people who play video games on a regular basis and "gamer" is the word that makes the most sense.

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CaLe

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#36  Edited By CaLe

I need to shower after reading that. I must cleanse myself.

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cinemandrew

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#37  Edited By cinemandrew

I'm a game aficionado, thank you very much.

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Dany

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#38  Edited By Dany

@fembotbeck said:

She smiled and nodded and flung wet scraps of red hair to the floor. "That sounds neat. I don't play but my boyfriend is really into games. He plays this one -- what's it called?" My heart sank. "Call of Duty," I asked. Her face lit up with recognition, and with those three words my perception of a man I've never met changed from cool guy who is into cool things to just some dude who is dating a bubbly, blonde cosmetology student and probably bathes in Axe body spray. Backwards baseball cap. Honda Civic with one fake tailpipe and another three sizes too big. Sitting in front of a flat screen that costs more than his entire college education with his two roommates, surrounded by several dozen crushed PBR cans ... I could go on, but I don't think either of us want that.

Ugh. It is completely unfair for you to judge someone you don't know and classify him as you have above. Also the term

'gamer' is a phrase used to classify those who play games.

Simple as that, belittling others and exclaiming why you have the credence to have fun at your hobby over someone else is JUST DUMB.

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deactivated-629eab11cc270

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This post make me wish I didn't enjoy playing games so that I could be spared from people like you.

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Yummylee

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#40  Edited By Yummylee

Ugh... sometimes I really hate this culture of ours.

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TheGreatGuero

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#41  Edited By TheGreatGuero

Wait a minute. How'd you know I have a boyfriend??
 
Oh crap...

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Goly

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#42  Edited By Goly

Elitist gaming hipsters are the freaking worst I swear.

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rawrnosaurous

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#43  Edited By rawrnosaurous
@Video_Game_King: It depends on whether or not you find doing the hussle in short shorts and rollerblades sexy. I personally find it very sexy.
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Lunar_Aura

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#44  Edited By Lunar_Aura

@fembotbeck: I almost smirked. Lurk more if you want to improve your trolling skills. 4/10

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benson

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#45  Edited By benson

OP, I enjoy Mortal Kombat. Can you tell me what I look like and what my life is worth, please?

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Video_Game_King

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#46  Edited By Video_Game_King
@Rawrnosaurous
 
Short shorts? We're talking about Bushwald Sexyface, right? Because I've never seen him wear anything other than what I previously described.
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Patman99

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#47  Edited By Patman99

I dont see what the big deal is... So your hair dresser decided to try and relate to her client, who cares if she classified her boyfriend as a "gamer". I do not see how you can judge someone simply on what games they do or do not play. Giving a detailed description of what you think her boyfriend looks like is just as bad as any stereotype. At the end of the day something like this is relatively minor in the grand scheme of things...

I have a dream that one day a gamer will be judged not by the contents of their game consoles but by the contents of their character.

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hero_swe

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#48  Edited By hero_swe

If I was older I'd ask you to marry me. 
 
 
Seriously... 
 
 
 
No, really.... 
 
 
There needs to be more of you in this world.
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buttle826

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#49  Edited By buttle826

Isn't it a good thing that more people are enjoying video games? I, for one, can't wait until it becomes a more accepted hobby. I'm really tired of the condescending looks people give me when I say I like games. 
 
And also, the term gamer is stupid and meaningless, and stereotyping is a mean thing to do.  You literally knew nothing about either of these people except that one of them is a hair dresser, and the other likes call of duty

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GunslingerPanda

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#50  Edited By GunslingerPanda

I kind of want to hug you.

In a non-sexy way.