I am actually a girl not a guy. I am friendly and I tried a few times to be sociable but it didn't clicked for me in reality, because I live in a small city for the moment and I don't have many options. I felt for those women (on the internet) because they have what I was seeking. With women it's harder for me, because I direct myself to more intelligent women but they are mature and don't have the patience to give me a chance at least. If there would be someone immature and young like me, of course I'd be glad about that. I haven't met many men, but the younger ones I knew, were a sort of a bullshit with swag, not to mention the girls my age. Also, it happened for me, to find more sense of humor in the women/girls I've met than boys and men, although it was supposed to be the opposite. I always befriended with many types of people. I even got in some lame fights with some of them and in time, we became buddies. I met some people in the most awkward ways that I never thought about it and I never believed that I would befriend with them. I had stupid, funny, intelligent, arrogant, ugly as a fuck, good looking buddies, creative, whatever, you name it. Also, from rockers, to gamers and winneysuckers. I am always the neutral person with universal opinions in the club, I don't say no to new experiences and I don't limit myself to one type when it comes to relationships. I have no big problems with my personality, I welcome advices and thanks for that guys, but the real stuff is something else and here's what I learned in the mean time.
1. Because I am very friendly, you know how many people loves to be chased, to get all that attention ? they think that if I come to them, then I'm a fool who is willing to follow them, although many times, I want to befriend only to learn more about their personality. They mistake my kindness with foolishness.
2. As an intuitive person, I am right like 90% most of the time about people, but I will be selective if I want a closer friendship, as anyone one does without exception. You can't have a best friend who stabs you with a big smile on his face. I always rushed things when trying to know some people, because I didn't realized until someone told me that, not everyone can be intuitive as me so I learned to take things more slowly. But I'm still a freakin' impatience person.
3. It's related to number 2 somehow but here's the thing. As an impatience person, I have to be more careful with some women, because they are more protective, they went through awful fails in life, and they learned their lesson which that drives me crazy, like I am trying to pet a fish without squizing it. It requires lots of time but I can manage with that too.
4. I am also a crazy person, sometimes off the limits and I tend to scare many people or they don't want to complicate with someone like me, which for me, "complication" it's a funny word. Many limit themselves and they don't give me a chance before they try to even know what's behind this crazy mask (it was not created consciously), and I wonder, how do they know what kind of a person I am when they know so little about me ? that's one of the biggest problems. They think they could read me, they underestimate me because I am not a very serious person and I give the impression that I'm always the "head in the clouds" type. It's not all about me after all.
One more thing, everything it's written randomly here. I never told myself while growing up, that I must have these standards and always stick to them, they can't simply be changed. I can't force myself to get horny at someone's command because that person it's sweet to me. If there's someone who is not physical attractive, I will still be curious about his/her personality and maybe in time, something might happen. The mental connection it's stronger anyways. All the real crushes I had now on those women, they are already in love with someone else, so if I'd wanted to jump on any of those ships, I'd jump directly in the water. Only one thing changed about my standards. Before, I used to dream about models from Victoria's Secret, now I find them boring.
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