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Posted by falserelic (5768 posts) 5 years, 1 month ago

Poll: Would you date someone that works at your Job? (434 votes)

If we got something going on then yeah I would. 48%
Never mix business with pleasure, I wouldn't do it 23%
I already have and everything turned out fine 16%
I have and everything went wrong. 13%

So my mom was giving me advice that it was never good to date someone at my job. She basically said if something bad was to happen, that person may put your personal business out in the work place. She said she seen it happen plenty of times at her job.

I was thinking about this because there's two co-workers at my job, and they got into a heated argument. The guy and girl basically was saying things that other people shouldn't know. After witnessing that I defiently wouldn't want to date a chick that works at my job.

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#101 Posted by Corevi (6796 posts) -

I have and it worked fine but I wouldn't do it now.

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#102 Posted by falserelic (5768 posts) -

Man, it's impossible to take falserelic seriously in this thread.

After reviewing some of the stuff I've posted yesterday, I can't blame you. I can't take myself seriously after that mess. I feel a monster took over in my head. A monster so huge and devastating that it can leave craters, split mountains, and drink oceans.

@zevvion said:

Terrible advice of your mom. Yeah, it can end badly and it will take time to recover and adjust. It can also end in a lifetime of happiness. Your mom is basically saying you shouldn't risk getting a couple of weeks of mediocre job performance for the chance of ultimate happiness. It's crazy.

Also, from my experience it mostly doesn't even end that badly if it does. Go for it. Always.

Sounds like a gamble. Granted like you said it could be worth it in the end, but it can be a misfire. I can only imagine how unsettling it would be if things didn't workout, and she's going around talking to other guys. That would probably sting and leave a person with remorse. Though what I think is worse then that is being in a relationship with someone for years, and then later on found out that person has already cheated on you multiple times. Imagine how pissed you would be thinking everything was fine, but in reality it wasn't.

That's why for me I would like to go with the friends with benefits route, but then again life is unpredictable. I could end up having a family with a chick for all I know, and next thing you know it changes my thought process about relationships.

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#103 Posted by csl316 (14968 posts) -

Oh god, finally a relationship thread that relates to my situation.

I know that reading through this will probably just end badly for me.

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#104 Posted by falserelic (5768 posts) -

@csl316 said:

Oh god, finally a relationship thread that relates to my situation.

I know that reading through this will probably just end badly for me.

It will, but read through it anyway.

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#105 Posted by crusader8463 (14797 posts) -

If I can find anyone in this world that would actually want to date me then nothing would keep me from them. I can always find another crappy job. Can't find a lover as easy.

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#106 Posted by freakin9 (1226 posts) -

Sure, you are clearly going to spend the rest of your lives together. It won't possibly be some short fling that leads to a extended nightmare.

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#107 Posted by alwaysbebombing (2709 posts) -

WHERE IS THE GIRL ADVICE LINE PICTURE? JESUS

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#108 Edited by DeadpanCakes (1138 posts) -

WHERE IS THE GIRL ADVICE LINE PICTURE? JESUS

Oh my god, how the hell did I and everyone else forget? I feel so ashamed
Oh my god, how the hell did I and everyone else forget? I feel so ashamed

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#109 Posted by alwaysbebombing (2709 posts) -

@alwaysbebombing said:

WHERE IS THE GIRL ADVICE LINE PICTURE? JESUS

Oh my god, how the hell did I and everyone else forget? I feel so ashamed
Oh my god, how the hell did I and everyone else forget? I feel so ashamed

You are forgiven.

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#110 Edited by KillEm_Dafoe (2637 posts) -

Adhering to that "rule" that you shouldn't date someone at your workplace is bullshit. If two people find that they click and enjoy each other's company, then there's no reason not to give it shot. It really all depends on the people involved, and I guess in some cases, the job, too. Always seeing the person you're with could very well get tiring, but it shouldn't be a deal breaker.

Anyway, I'd been talking to this new girl at work for the past month or so that I took a liking to, and I got the feeling she liked me, too. Turns out I was right, as the other day, right as I was about to as her to dinner she asked for my number. Then we had a nice hour-long texting conversation later that night. Worked out pretty well! Until she blew off our first date earlier in the week. It could've gone bad and awkward right away, but she at least told me she wanted to reschedule today for Monday. So...we'll see how that goes. We don't work in the same department, so even if it doesn't work out I wouldn't have to see her that often.

In my case, I don't get out much. My opportunity to meet women is basically at school or work, and I haven't had any luck in that department in a goddamn eternity, so I'll take what I can get. As it happens, what I'm going to get is pretty smokin'.

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#111 Posted by CaptainCody (1551 posts) -
@marz said:

not uncommon to fall in love with someone you spend alot of time with, be it work, school, etc.

This. Unless you're that much of a douche/stupid/socially awkward then I can't imagine how things can end so terribly. I've been dating my girlfriend whom I met at work for almost 2 years now and we've never had a fight and everything has been perfect.

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#112 Posted by fenixREVOLUTION (749 posts) -

I would say no, but it hasn't stopped me before. If things go bad it's mighty awkward though.

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#113 Posted by Hailinel (25785 posts) -

@hailinel: That's disgusting

Good sir (or madam), I merely said that it's horrible manners to use your own quills on the company's ink supply!

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#114 Posted by Steadying (1902 posts) -

@hailinel: Oh!

@csl316 I wouldn't get too upset over anything said about relationships in a video game forum.

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#115 Edited by Zevvion (5965 posts) -

@zevvion said:

Terrible advice of your mom. Yeah, it can end badly and it will take time to recover and adjust. It can also end in a lifetime of happiness. Your mom is basically saying you shouldn't risk getting a couple of weeks of mediocre job performance for the chance of ultimate happiness. It's crazy.

Also, from my experience it mostly doesn't even end that badly if it does. Go for it. Always.

Sounds like a gamble. Granted like you said it could be worth it in the end, but it can be a misfire. I can only imagine how unsettling it would be if things didn't workout, and she's going around talking to other guys. That would probably sting and leave a person with remorse.

I'd like to point out this is the very definition of glass half empty. You are not doing something that can lead to something great for the fear of it not working out, and you are already envisioning that if it doesn't work out she'll probably be the type of person that is going to be an ass about it.

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#116 Edited by Cloudleet (206 posts) -

I tend to try not to flirt with the women I work with, but it's hard. I spend so much time around them, we all have our own inside jokes, we are all friends, but at this point, five of the girls I work with has admitted to having a major crush on me, and I know that if I go for one, that might cause a major shitstorm amongst them, so I prefer trying to date outside work. A lot harder to meet people that way, but at least some unlucky girl from work won't end up with me and gets mean looks from the others.

Don't shit in the company ink, or whatever.

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#117 Edited by Teoball (815 posts) -

I have and it worked fine. It was when we moved in together it all went downhill.

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#118 Posted by falserelic (5768 posts) -

@zevvion said:

@falserelic said:

@zevvion said:

Terrible advice of your mom. Yeah, it can end badly and it will take time to recover and adjust. It can also end in a lifetime of happiness. Your mom is basically saying you shouldn't risk getting a couple of weeks of mediocre job performance for the chance of ultimate happiness. It's crazy.

Also, from my experience it mostly doesn't even end that badly if it does. Go for it. Always.

Sounds like a gamble. Granted like you said it could be worth it in the end, but it can be a misfire. I can only imagine how unsettling it would be if things didn't workout, and she's going around talking to other guys. That would probably sting and leave a person with remorse.

I'd like to point out this is the very definition of glass half empty. You are not doing something that can lead to something great for the fear of it not working out, and you are already envisioning that if it doesn't work out she'll probably be the type of person that is going to be an ass about it.

@zevvion said:

@falserelic said:

@zevvion said:

Terrible advice of your mom. Yeah, it can end badly and it will take time to recover and adjust. It can also end in a lifetime of happiness. Your mom is basically saying you shouldn't risk getting a couple of weeks of mediocre job performance for the chance of ultimate happiness. It's crazy.

Also, from my experience it mostly doesn't even end that badly if it does. Go for it. Always.

Sounds like a gamble. Granted like you said it could be worth it in the end, but it can be a misfire. I can only imagine how unsettling it would be if things didn't workout, and she's going around talking to other guys. That would probably sting and leave a person with remorse.

I'd like to point out this is the very definition of glass half empty. You are not doing something that can lead to something great for the fear of it not working out, and you are already envisioning that if it doesn't work out she'll probably be the type of person that is going to be an ass about it.

You reminded me of someone who said those exact same words, except that was for the ''problem'' I got going on in my life. Ever since I made a stupid choice when I was a teen it cause me to think twice about things. On top of that it made me feel out of place with alot of people, but anyway I do feel the need to be very careful with women. Most of the women I came across in my life were hood rats. Women that got no problem with making a guy's life a living hell. I've seen so many relationships go downhill in a very sad way, and I have met alot women that were ratchet bitches.

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#119 Posted by Zevvion (5965 posts) -

@falserelic: Hood rats? I've never heard that phrase before. But the girls you describe aren't worth your time. So what if someone spreads a dumb rumor about you? If people instantly believe her without asking you first, then they're idiots. It sounds like you need to develop a bit of a shield against that stuff. People will try to hurt you at some point. Trying to avoid that altogether will not bring you happiness, because it limits you in the things you want or are open to doing.

I haven't made it myself yet, but I'll keep trying.

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#120 Posted by Jimbo (10472 posts) -

Why would the company even have ink, if not for quill dipping?

The voice of reason.

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#121 Edited by TerraDelu (531 posts) -

My wife and I met at our old job. Worked out well for me!

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#122 Posted by falserelic (5768 posts) -

@zevvion said:

@falserelic: Hood rats? I've never heard that phrase before. But the girls you describe aren't worth your time. So what if someone spreads a dumb rumor about you? If people instantly believe her without asking you first, then they're idiots. It sounds like you need to develop a bit of a shield against that stuff. People will try to hurt you at some point. Trying to avoid that altogether will not bring you happiness, because it limits you in the things you want or are open to doing.

I haven't made it myself yet, but I'll keep trying.

Trust me I've been through stuff that's alot worse then a rumor. As for people trying to hurt me that's already happen, hell I had people trying to kill me in the past. Thinking about it some of the crazy shit that happened in my life was because of chick. Most of the time I don't let stuff get to me, but it happens every now and then depending on the situation. Anyway, after thinking about what you've said avoiding stuff isn't the answer. Maybe I just haven't came across the right women yet. Hopefully in the future there's a special lady waiting for us.

(btw...I'm not surprised that you've never heard of Hood Rats, which is a good thing. Basically what I mean is that their ignorant and ghetto. I'm African-American and that's how most of the girls I met was like. Thinking about there's this guy on youtube named tommy sotomayor, and he basically says everything that's wrong with the black community. He pretty much hits the nail in the head of what I've been through in my life.)

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#123 Posted by alwaysbebombing (2709 posts) -

Honestly. If I had to work with my partner. I'd probably fucking murder him. Sometimes space is good.

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#124 Posted by Zevvion (5965 posts) -

@falserelic: Ha, man... in general nearly getting killed over a girl truly isn't the norm. I have no idea where you live and what your area is like; maybe you just had an unlucky situation. But maybe you should think about where all that stuff goes wrong. It might be the people around you. In the vast majority of situations, the stuff you describe shouldn't and doesn't happen.

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#125 Edited by Korolev (1800 posts) -

Noooooo. Absolutely not.

My brother hasn't dated someone from work, but he did something similar - he dated someone in his university class. It didn't end well. In fact, it ended so badly he wasted a whole semester changing his course and he'll finish half a year later than he needs to. Luckily his ex-girlfriend was only in ONE of his courses, god knows what would have happened if she was in more than one - he'd probably have dropped out entirely.

I won't date anyone I work with - because you have to work with them. What IF it goes wrong? Also, how would dating each other change the relationship between you? Maybe if you were employees on an equal pay grade with equal responsibilities, then that wouldn't be so bad - but what if the person you are dating is your manager? Or if you are their manager!? How would your relationship outside work affect your relationship in work - would you be more lenient on them? Would you expect your manager to be less harsh and perhaps do a crappier job?

I'm headed into the field of medicine in about 1 and 1/2 years time. I will not date a fellow doctor or a Nurse or an Admin I work with - EVER. Medicine is tricky and you need to maintain a professional, detached attitude so that you can consider all the possibilities. For doctors to function as they should, they need to have a dispassionate attitude during work so that they treat everyone fairly (staff and patients). Personal relationships within a hospital jeopardize that. Say your significant other looks tired, so you go do the bloods for their patients so that they can have some time off - thus neglecting your own. Say your significant other has a problem with a consultant - who happens to LEAD YOUR TEAM. Whose side are you gonna come down on? If you weren't dating that person, you wouldn't end up in this situation!

Do not mix business and pleasure. Have Discipline and Self Control. Separate your social and business/work life and put up an iron barrier between them and ruthlessly maintain that barrier against all temptations! You can do it, if you have sufficient will power!

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#126 Edited by ArtisanBreads (9107 posts) -

@captaincody said:
@marz said:

not uncommon to fall in love with someone you spend alot of time with, be it work, school, etc.

This. Unless you're that much of a douche/stupid/socially awkward then I can't imagine how things can end so terribly. I've been dating my girlfriend whom I met at work for almost 2 years now and we've never had a fight and everything has been perfect.

I am in a good relationships so all relationships are always good!

I hope you realize how ridiculous you sound here. People who get in relationships that go sour aren't douches or stupid. It happens, even irrationally, because feelings are hurt. Obviously you are ignorant to it, and that's fine, but don't act like it doesn't exist.

What if you found out she was cheating on you? Would you be a stupid douche and be all mad? How socially awkward of you.

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#127 Posted by AcidBrandon18 (1380 posts) -

I actually work with this 21 year old girl who is dating this 17 year old dude that I also work with. It is kind of annoying because she never does her job and is always chilling with him forcing me to do the majority of the work.

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#128 Edited by falserelic (5768 posts) -

I actually work with this 21 year old girl who is dating this 17 year old dude that I also work with. It is kind of annoying because she never does her job and is always chilling with him forcing me to do the majority of the work.

I'll say make a complaint if its gotten to that point. Thinking about it if she's 21 and he's 17, then that can get her in trouble aswell.

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#129 Posted by SkullPanda1 (1625 posts) -

My wife and I had an internship at the same place for three months when we were dating.

It was great. Gave us more time in the evening. No need to recap each other's day.

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#131 Posted by FacelessVixen (2611 posts) -

Old-ass thread that was bumped by a bot and will most likely be locked, but I'll bite anyway.

I'm a painter, so finding a lady that's also in the arts is my best bet due to that immediate commonality. I really don't see myself doing the Tinder thing and the like the people younger than myself are into and more accepting of. So, the idea of finding love though my occupation sits pretty well with me.

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#132 Posted by billmcneal (1254 posts) -

No

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#133 Posted by Tyrrael (485 posts) -

No, as a rule, I wouldn't date anybody I work with. I even take it further and wouldn't date any direct family or friends of the people I work with. And even further than that, I don't socialize with people from work outside of work either. These days, especially, there's simply too much risk of "high school drama" associated with these kinds of relationships. I'm not going to risk getting fired or even somebody else getting fired for something that could easily be avoided. Even if we broke up and left on good terms, i.e. mutual break up without any malice, the rumor mill can, and no doubt would, cause a problem. And if we didn't, well, would you really want to work with your ex everyday?

On top of that, with everybody getting offended by everything, I could inadvertently slip up and tell a joke that somebody finds offensive, and I could potentially get fired from work even if I told the joke outside of work. This isn't just for jokes either. It could be a political or religious opinion that could very easily cause problems at work. This is also why I never discuss politics or religion at work.

I know that this limits my options for friends and relationships in general, and I know that people are going to say that it's paranoia, but I can't risk getting fired, or have my life ruined, over some ridiculous nonsense that could easily be avoided.

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#134 Posted by yourbrain (38 posts) -

Well, to state the obvious, every person, workplace, and relationship is different. So there are bound to be some situations where is works out brilliantly and some where it destroys a couple/team/entire workplace.

That said, I easily brought 10 instances to mind where coworkers (at various different jobs) ended up dating. Only one worked out at all well, and even then only because it was a super casual office, because boy did way too many arguments happen/too much info get shared. Another one kinda worked, but only because one person transferred to a different department in a whole other location. 2 ended and things were just tense, so not the worst ever. But the rest all ended up with people getting fired, screaming, or so much backstabbing that _I_ thought about quitting. So there's my anecdotal info. Also, and this may be memory bias, but all the crash and burns were from where I/my coworkers were under 30. The "oks" were all involving people in their mid-30s onward.

I guess it all comes down to how much you are willing to risk!