The Wrestling Discussion Thread

@turboman: Everything about this ball puncher story is so good that I was a bit heartbroken over those musings that it may be a work.

So, RVD keeps tweeting whenever it's 4:20, and it's kind of amazing.

WWE.com reporting on it really makes me suspicious... But I want to believe that there is this guy out there that thinks he can make a name for himself in the business by just attacking a wrestler.

... Colt Cabana did it.

Not going to lie, K8LYN needs to never be on anything ever, for the sake of humanity.

@dazzhardy: Honestly if this means that Kaitlyn is getting a shirt too then that is AWESOME. I think we are right on the edge of having a great woman's division in WWE again, if they start pumping out shirts it shows that they at least have a passing interest in making it into something more.

I don't think I've commented on the ball puncher, so I'll throw in my two cents.

It is endlessly hilarious to me that a dude could think sneaking into the ring and hitting Randy Orton in the balls will get him anything more than jail time. The fact that he sounds like he expected this to be a huge career booster is fucking amazing.

Randy Orton vs BallPunch McGee, coming to a PPV near you!

I'm all for A-RY working. but I think he still got a wrestler run in him.

I don't know what it is about this promo but one of my favorites all time.

@dazzhardy: You can already buy a K8LYN poster or unsigned card on WWE Shop, so they seem to be pushing it. And I don't mind it on the shirt as much as the tagline.

Also, I feel that this perfectly sums up the Tito reveal:

http://instagram.com/p/ckWQ1KNAFp/

Alternatively:

http://instagram.com/p/ckXl5vNAIQ/

The WWE seems to have no direction and are living pay-per-view to pay-per-view with no long term storyline or stars to rely on still being with the company or being a draw.

Just months ago it seemed Paul Heyman was brewing a stable of Punk, Brock, Axel, and the Shield. Now it appears Punk will beat Lesnar, allowing Brock to "Undertake" himself into hibernation until his next payday at Mania XXX. The win undos Punks losing streak to Cenas, Takers, and Miavias of late, but where do they go for a push for him from here?

The WHC division has become a hodgepodge of win-loss streaks and face-heel turns that only last weeks at most, but star the same six or eight guys: dolph, del rio, randy, show, shamus, swagger, maybe cesaro or kofi or miz for good measure. rvd and Christian now supplant the leaving Y2J. Anyway, it's like a game of freeze tag, someone's IT but it don't matter much. The WHC might as well be the hardcore championship. No one puts Steve Blackman over Crash or Crash over Spike Dudley, they were all equals with no standouts, a new champ each week. This year alone they've already done the "well now all ten lousy dudes from the WHC division fighting in one ladder match!" thing.

Speaking of wasted matchups, we've already seen Ryback lose to Cena, and Henry, and Punk, and soon Bryan, while HHH Taker and Brock are gone till WM30. So after Bryan, where do they go with 'monster of the month' for Cena till Mania 30? Face one Shield member in Sept, then the other in Octs first PPV then the third member in Octs 2nd PPV, finally a handicap against all three at Survivor Series?

Rybacks basically been nerfed, not to Tensai levels, but bad, and so has the shield sorta, I mean, they're supposed to be like the nwo, tearing up the WWE, yet whoever they assault kind of sucks to begin with so it's no big deal, and the one that would matter, Cena, they wouldn't be allowed to dominate.

Weird times for WWE.

So just read through this thread and you guys have me thinking I need to watch some wrestling again. Bring on Raw tomorrow night. I feel I am making another poor decision in my life though.

Man, Nikki Bella and Cameron are the worst fucking humans imaginable.

Sad news... Art "How Much Does This Guy Weigh?" Donovan is no longer with us.

Bray Wyatt's farewell speech on NXT was fucking awesome.

I still think it would have been amazing if the Wyatt family had debuted as faces and attacked the shield, and him and Ambrose could have just ranted at each other and I would only have understood every sixth word or so and it would have been amazing!

Wow John cena is loaded. Also kind of a dick shiting on bryans house. But the whole show is such a work maybe he just wanted to be heel cena before his head exploded from 24/7 super cena.

Watched Totally Divas last night - so its potential that they are just letting Fandango play his role for the show, but if not, the dude is a total creeper. Takes the new divas hand, then kisses the back of his own hand. Amazing stuff.

@vmehnert: I haven't seen the new episode yet, but it wouldn't surprise me. Curtis seems like a guy that isn't afraid to kayfabe it up in real life to build his character.

i will be honest the feud he had with the miz was the only time i ever cared about miz

@vmehnert: Creeper Curtis may have been the highlight of the entire episode last night. Just absolutely amazing.

Just watched the first two episodes of Total Divas back to back... why did I like that so much? I'm a monster.

Curtis kissing the back of his own hand was just about the most amazing thing ever.

Lest we not forget other great moments in Fandango history

Hang on, a wild Dirty Curty appeared?

Must watch!

So WWE has a bunch of new shirts available:

1. A Kaitlyn Shirt for Men:

2. A Kaitlyn shirt for women:

3. A Daniel Bryan Shirt that parodies Cena's R-Time = Now Shirt:

I still have no clue what the 8th Militia is and YES! YES! = YES! is pretty great.

JBL climbs a mountain just to announce his presence in WWE 2k14...

didn't quite tell us if he was on commentary or not, but he'll be a playable character.

Paige on RAW? Goddddd, I hope so!

So how much of total divas is real? Is it scripted or edited to make a story? I know that the bellas are actually going out with Danial and john but are Jojo Eva actual diva trainees ? They talk about characters and stuff yet call Curtis fandango

@drx25: it was only a matter of time until they made that Daniel Bryan shirt.

If I still posted somewhere with a signature system it would be "Tyler Breeze has left the building..."

Edit: Also, that Daniel Bryan shirt cements the fact that the WWE need to be selling a Daniel Bryan beard Bandana.

MONDAY NIGHT CHAT

TONIGHT...Daniel Bryan gets a "corporate makeover" so that will be dumb.

Just based off of the first episode, I'd say that the backstories are real, but the main stories they are trying to tell are fabricated.

• Natalya probably isn't happy about not being in regular matches, but that one scene where that woman tells Natalya that she isn't on the Wrestlemania card days before Wrestlemania and Natalya cries is complete shit. That card was probably finalized a full month (if not more) out.
• The stuff with Cena and Bella about marriage is probably fabricated.
• Jojo and Eva are completely fabricated. They were just hired earlier this year after an audition in Los Angeles for models. I don't think either of them has had any proper training at all, and in the WWE you have to go through NXT before you're called up to the main roster.
• The wardrobe not being ready for Wrestlemania during the show was something fabricated. I'm sure they had dress rehearsals at some point during the weekend.
• From what I've read, the only real thing that's happened on the show is Vincent getting pissed at Brodus Clay.

Someone asked in the chat. One missadventure with MS Paint later, a quick and dirty Glass Slater.

I kinda wanna buy the Beard is here t-shirt....

Here's what I got:

• Cena vs. Bryan is an epic 25-30 minute match. Bryan makes Cena tap out. Greatest moment ever.
• SIERRA HOTEL LIMA
• Shield tosses Cena out and beats down on Daniel Bryan.
• Orton walks slowly out to no music. Briefcase in one hand, trimmers in the other. He is followed by Vince McMahon.
• Shield holds Bryan while ORTON IS SHAVING THE BEARD BAH GAWD.
• Bryan is triple power bombed through the spanish announce table. Roll him back into the ring and Orton pins him with his foot (don't hit the RKO cause you don't want the crowd to pop).
• Give Vince a mic, have him explain his new corporate champion and reveal that he was behind the shield the entire time. Give Orton the mic and let him cut a real smug piece of shit promo.
• End the PPV with Orton posing with the Shield, all holding titles.

Boom. Send me a check in the mail.

@dazzhardy said:

Someone asked in the chat. One missadventure with MS Paint later, a quick and dirty Glass Slater.

@alex should probably get a look at this.

@turboman: I was also thinking a Orton and Vince walk out...I like the trimmers idea!!!

I really don't want a Wyatt-Kane feud. Kane is kind of shit as a singles competitor now, and it would pretty much have to end with him joining the Family or the Undertaker getting involved (or both)

Unless that ends with Wyatt pinning Taker at Mania, I'll pass thanks.

Fuck whatever your doing and have CM Punk educate you're mind on how to use your and you're correctly:

@drx25: AMAZING

Edit: I just watched them all and it's weird to see a PG WWE guy swearing his head off about grammar, but it's also some of the most entertaining shit ever.

Their/There/They're might be my favorite

#Grammar

That was a terrible crowd last night. They seemed disinterested in almost everything.

Also, crowds are way to quick to give matches a "this is awesome" chant. The Punk/Axel match was OK. No more, no less

they have some pretty sweat new CM Punk sweatshirts at WWE.com - http://shop.wwe.com/CM-Punk-Vintage-Lightweight-Full-Zip-Navy-Sweatshirt/W05645,default,pd.html?dwvar_W05645_color=Navy%20Blue&start=1&cgid=superstar-current-cmpunk

It has thumb holes! Oh, the little things.

That is not a good example of the "this is awesome chant" being used that can be applied to most crowds, that crowd was retarded and I am confident that basically every other crowd on the planet wouldn't do the same.

Luke Harper's yeahs seemed to have broke my Internet, because after that moment I couldn't get a single stream to run smoothly.

Though it seems I didn't miss anything but an amusing one-liner from Brock.

Sorry, my wording wasn't great. I meant more to condemn last night's crowd specifically for declaring that match awesome, because it wasn't.

Remember a couple of weeks ago, WWE Studios was hyping something?

Well, they've announced it, it's See No Evil 2 with Kane reprising his role from the first film.

http://www.wwe.com/inside/overtheropes/wwestudios/see-no-evil-2-announcement

I talked about wanting to see See No Evil recently, but now appearantly See No Evil 2 is in pre-production, and will be directed by the Twisted Twins.

These two have directed two movies before, American Mary and Dead Hooker in a Trunk.

Dead Hooker in a Trunk has immediately shot up my Netflix cue.

@brodehouse:

the Bryan promo encompassed everything right with the promotion while the Cena promo was everything wrong. And unless Cena is going to turn heel (which would be a terrible move since he can only really sell baby face), he needs to stop acknowledging the crowd as they boo him.

I hate myself for asking this but how can I watch this Total Divas shit in the UK?

The Giant Bomb wrestling premium podcast, which Alex called the Powerbomb podcast, is coming soon, according to today's Bombcast.

Jeff, Alex, and some special guests it sounds like.