I'm finding it really difficult to give a fuck about Gears Of War 4.
I should be the target market; I'm the guy who played the first three games extensively. I was, at one point, ranked in the top 500 players in the world at King Of The Hill in Gears 3. I very nearly S-Ranked Gears 2, completing the campaign multiple times on various difficulties. I even read all the books. Every time I mention that I read all the books I feel obligated to confirm that yes, there are actual Gears Of War books, which is ridiculous when you consider the plot of the games might as well have been written in crayon, but there you go.
So what is it about the Gears 4 gameplay that's so completely underwhelming?
The cynics among you might argue that being pried from the hands of EPIC is a pretty good place to start looking, though there are plenty of franchises that manage to stagnate without changing hands, and the success of Halo 5 with 343 at the helm sets a pretty solid precedent to counter that argument. So let's put all that political behind-the-scenes stuff aside and try to be as objective as possible when analysing the Gears 4 gameplay we've been presented with thus far.
I've thought about this a fair amount since it's announcement, since that first chunk of gameplay was shown at E3 last year. The game looks great; you'd fucking hope so, being a flagship franchise for Microsoft's current gen console. But as soon as that logo flashed up on the screen my first thought was "OK, so who are they fighting?" For those of you that don't remember, spoilers, the Locust were all wiped out. So were the Lambent, using Adam Fenix's secret kill everything infected by imulsionmachine™. So all the monsters are dead. Except they aren't? Even though the entirety of humanity on Sera numbers only a few hundred thousand, we're going to drudge up some new threat that's sweeping across the planet only 25 years after the last one. That feels so... forced. At what point does the human race collectively shout "fuck it", throw their hands in the air and accept their fate. I mean fuck, give those people a break already.
But look, let's be real here
Nobody (apart from knuckleheads like me) is playing Gears Of War for the narrative. You don't care that there's an entirely new roster that's both poorly written and lacking in charisma; You play because the lancer chugs out a super-satisfying stream of fire, because the gnasher kick is primal, and the way your Theron chuckles when you stick an enemy with a Torque Bow. The roadie run, slamming into... oh, it's more generic waist-high walls? Huh. Could we maybe think of some ways to mix thi... no? Sticking with the grey blobs of granite? OK cool. And... more dirty humanoid teeth-aliens with Hammerbursts to fight? Right.... And we're going to be running around in.... gloomy dilapidated COG architecture. Starting to see a pattern here, guys.
At this stage in the life of the franchise there's a look and a feel that you need to nail for it to stay part of the franchise. I get it, I know how this works. And the gameplay we've seen so far is distinctly Gears. So why does it feel so archaic? Could it be because, since the original release 10 years ago, we've actually moved on enough that simply rehashing exactly the same ideas and just giving them a facelift doesn't quite cut the mustard any more. That new guns is a poor substitute for new ideas? Maybe I'm being harsh, maybe it's not a Gears problem. Maybe it's that the gritty space-marine power fantasy isn't quite as empowering as it once was. Maybe, in those last 10 years, our horizons have been broadened. We live in a world of VR now, a world where people run around catching pokemon outside. There's never been a broader spectrum of virtual adventures out there to explore, and it's slightly depressing to watch Gears Of War cling to it's outdated mechanics in this context.
Or maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just old.
I feel fucking old.
But then maybe I'm wrong; Maybe this game will come out and it'll be everything we hoped for. It will revitalise the entire genre, and the masses will hail the waist-high wall as a phoenix Fenix reborn, giving life once again to a genre that has been stale for what feels like far too long.
Or maybe not. Who the fuck knows.
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