JonnyBoy's Interactive Review!!!!
Ok, seeing as in my reviews I tend to not review the game itself, I tend to review aspects of the game, I thought I'd make this one short and sweet and try to help the game buying public, by giving the informed sound perchacing advice. However I will be doing this through the medium of text adventure novelisation similar to the one you used to be able to buy in the 80's and 90's. Right then, here we go........
You are standing in Your local GAME store. You are in here for two reasons; firstly it's raining. Secondly your Giro's just come in and it's burning a hole in your Shell-suit pocket. You peruse the shelves of badly arranged plastic boxes. There are so many you feel your right eye begin to twitch as you try to make your choice. What do you do?
-If you talk to the saturday staff employee go to 3
-if you wish to keep looking goto 4
"No Sir, not really my cup of tea." You say, "However I do fancy the look of that Hanna Montanna game for the Wii. You know what, dash it all, I'll think I'll take it! Thank you my good fellow!" And with that you leave exited in the knowledge that in a few short moments you will be lost on a Hodown Throwdown Country Jamboree. Hoorah!
The saturday staff employee stares blankly at you. You wonder whether the combination of Red Bull and acne medication has created what you now struggle to converse with, or whether this is just evidence of God's sense of Irony. You ask again, "I said, what are the new releases this week my good man?" What seems like forever passes. "Errrrrr, Darren what's out this week?" he shouts out the open 'Staff Only' door. "That Metallica game init!" A dis-embodied voice shouts back. Do you:
-Like Metallica? then go to 5
-Dislike Metallica? then go to 2
You keep looking, your eye twitches faster. All of a sudden you feel a wet trickle on your lips. You reach up to feel your face. You sigh as you see the blood on your hands. You feel embarased as you now have a nose bleed and have rather unfortunately got blood on the lovely pink Shell-suit Aunt Rose got you for Christmas last year. Fortunately your embarasment does not last long as the anurism takes hold quickly. Hopefully the staff will stop talking amongst themselves long enough to notice your lifeless corpse. The end.
"Thank you very much" you say, "I'll take it!" What a very astute customer you are! You swell with pride at your purchacing abillities. Now all you have to do is make your way through the mine field of Loyalty Card questions and your away. Good job Adventurer!
I know this seems a bit silly, but so is Reviewing a Metallica game, The long winded point I am trying to make is that it come down to this: Do you like Metallica, Yes or No? Non fans won't buy this game, Metallica fans will buy this game. In fact the only ones that won't are the ones that haven't jumped on this crazy technological bandwagon and are still listening to their favorite Metallica vinyl on their trusty turntable.
Oh yeah and in case your wondering that half a star's lost for them not fixing the Pro Face-off difficulty settings from World Tour. It's not nice repeatedly losing to someone on easy.