Burger Dealbreakers?

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Avatar image for mrnitropb
#1 Posted by Mrnitropb (2131 posts) -

The other day I was out, and grabbed a burger at a local place. The lady misheard my "abso-fucking-lutly no goddamned pickles or tomatoes." as "extra, extra T&P". The top bun was soaked in neon green pickle piss, and the bottom soggy from the tomatoes splooging out. As a long-time food-service worker, i seldom cause a fuss, or send stuff back, but this was too much. The next try was pretty good, and i was less grumpy.
 
So what ingredients can you not tolerate on a burger (or durger)?  what will make you either not order a burger if its dresed on it, or send it back, besides being too bloody or too burnt?
I think the absolute most disgusting thing I've seen is a british guy put clotted cream on a burger in lieu of cheese.

Avatar image for theseductivemoose
#2 Posted by TheSeductiveMoose (3629 posts) -

Feces.

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#3 Posted by addictedtopinescent (3634 posts) -

I order everthing i can on my burgers usually...

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#4 Posted by DrPockets000 (2877 posts) -
I don't usually have a "dealbreaker" (I like everything), but there is such a thing as too many ingredients at one time.  
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#5 Posted by jorbear (2570 posts) -
@TheSeductiveMoose said:
" Feces. "
I prefer feces on my burgers. Adds an unknown flavor every time you bite.
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#6 Posted by habster3 (3670 posts) -

Chedder cheese, especially considering how good American is on a burger.

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#7 Posted by ajamafalous (13531 posts) -

Pretty much anything that isn't mustard, mayo, pickles, cheese, or bacon.

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#8 Posted by BunkerBuster (1054 posts) -

I have to talk to people alot so I can never have onions on my burger and will usually have to tear the thng apart and remove all of it when they mess my order.

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#9 Posted by wolf_blitzer85 (5442 posts) -

Pretty much anything goes for me. However too much shit that makes a mess of the burger is not the way to go.

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#10 Posted by Luck3ySe7en (245 posts) -

I can deal with taking off tomatoes from a burger but when pickles enter the mix, I can't do it. Combine those with nasty ol' mustard and you've got a slimy, slide around factor that's just way too much to look past. Not even bacon can get me to eat a pickled, tomato'd, musturd'd up burger.

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#11 Posted by Vigorousjammer (2945 posts) -

Onions are pretty bad on my burger of choice... oh and Jalepenos

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#12 Posted by WalkerTR77 (1811 posts) -

I don't like bacon on a burger, I know, it's crazy.

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#13 Posted by Adamant_Lungs (75 posts) -

I don't like BBQ sauce on a burger...unless I'm at a BBQ

Avatar image for korwin
#14 Posted by korwin (3853 posts) -

Tofu. 
 
Don't like proper burgers? Don't Eat.

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#15 Edited by KillaMaStA (878 posts) -

I dont know like slugs..or cockroches probably. Hasnt happened to me yet but Im sure there is a line with hamburgers that I will not cross

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#16 Posted by lockwoodx (2531 posts) -

I can't stand heavy pickles.

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#17 Posted by Osaladin (2698 posts) -

I hate pickles, tomatoes, mustard, raw onions, and mayo on my burgers. When I order, "Only cheese and ketchup" from fast food, because usually lettuce is all soggy and gross.

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#18 Posted by UnsolvedParadox (2005 posts) -

Any time you can work "pickle piss" into a comment, you have to do it. 
 
I hate burned and/or dry meat more than anything, aside from the obvious (no bugs or other contaminants).

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#19 Posted by ProfessorEss (7960 posts) -

Relish.

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#20 Posted by Goldanas (566 posts) -
@DrPockets000 said:
" I don't usually have a "dealbreaker" (I like everything), but there is such a thing as too many ingredients at one time.   "
 
My sentiments: exactly.
Avatar image for danielkempster
#21 Posted by danielkempster (2706 posts) -

Tomato slices and large chunks of onion are my dealbreakers. Oddly enough, I'm one of the few people I know who doesn't mind pickles on a burger. Thankfully, this means that when I'm out with family and/or the girlfriend, I get everybody else's unwanted gherkins piled into my burger box :)

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#22 Posted by lead_farmer (1076 posts) -
@Mrnitropb: what the hell is clotted cheese ?
 
Can't do pineapples on a burger.  Or avocado.  Just doesn't feel right.
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#23 Posted by citizenkane (10879 posts) -

Mayonnaise.  God help the people who put mayonnaise on my burger.

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#24 Posted by hedfone (1747 posts) -
@TheSeductiveMoose said:
" Feces. "
Avatar image for jaymorgoth
#25 Edited by jaymorgoth (267 posts) -

usually nothing gets me riled enough to return a burger cause i can usually scrape it off. it's only if they really have messed up my order and basically gave me a different burger then i wanted that i will actually go up and talk to them. Otherwise it's not that big of a deal, just scrape off what i don't want and eat.

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#26 Posted by Mrnitropb (2131 posts) -
@lead_farmer said:

" @Mrnitropb: what the hell is clotted cheese ? Can't do pineapples on a burger.  Or avocado.  Just doesn't feel right. "

Clotted creme- 

Clotted cream is a thick yellow cream made by heating unpasteurised cow's milk and then leaving it in shallow pans for several hours. During this time, the cream content rises to the surface and forms clots.  True Cornish clotted cream must be made from unpasteurised milk or the clots will not form. It has a minimum fat content of 55%. Clotted cream is generally served as part of a cream tea on scones with strawberry or raspberry jam.  

Avatar image for lebkin
#27 Posted by lebkin (341 posts) -
@CitizenKane said:
" Mayonnaise.  God help the people who put mayonnaise on my burger. "
My opinions exactly. And unlike other things I'm not huge fans of (tomatoes, onions, etc), mayo is pretty much impossible to get off once its there.
Avatar image for jasonofindy
#28 Posted by Jasonofindy (270 posts) -

I like pretty much everything on my burger including the ketchup, mustard, mayo, lettuce, onion, and pickle.  I don't like tomatoes, but if they are accidentally included I can live with it and take them off.  The one absolute dealbreaker for me is if some asshat gives me a hamburger instead of a cheeseburger.  I don't want the burger if it doesn't have the cheese.  Additionally, if you call it a double, it damn well better have at least one slice of cheese for each burger patty.  This new McDouble and Buck Double cost cutting crap with only a single slice of cheese with two patties just doesn't cut it.   
 
I still remember the local burger dump back in my hometown had the best double cheeseburgers:  bun-condiments-cheese-burger-cheese-burger-cheese-bun.  That is right, 3 slices of melted cheesy goodness on a double for only $1.25.  (of course this was circa 1985).

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#29 Posted by sparky_buzzsaw (8024 posts) -

I'm not a huge fan of tomatoes, mushrooms, or avacado on a burger.  That being said, that's not exactly a deal breaker, but I will pick apart the burger to get rid of them.

Online
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#30 Posted by TheCreamFilling (1235 posts) -

McDonald's 

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#31 Posted by audiosnag (1604 posts) -

Not a relish fan but i'll eat it. Ummm.
Oh yeah Blue Cheese.
Eff that garbage. Blargh

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#32 Posted by drewbs (2794 posts) -

Mushrooms.

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#33 Posted by Tearhead (2436 posts) -

Mayonnaise. Only a fucking heathen would soil a perfect berger with that shit. 

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#34 Posted by bartok (3109 posts) -

Mayo, ranch, mushrooms and blue cheese are huge deal breakers.  I don't care for American Cheese on a hamburger but it ain't a deal breaker.

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#35 Posted by Renahzor (1043 posts) -

I will eat just about anything on a burger.  From mushrooms, grilled onions and blue cheese; to all the fixings at a typical backyard BBQ.  I try not to eat at fast food places much though, their version of meat sammich can only loosely be described as a 'burger'.   I'm also probably one of the least picky eaters you're ever likely to meet, just about anything edible is fair game for me, at least once to decide if I don't like it. 

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#36 Posted by mangomonger (72 posts) -

too much sauce , other than i'll eat anything

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#37 Posted by warxsnake (2720 posts) -

anything other than beef in my burger

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#38 Posted by Blair (2586 posts) -

No onions!  Fucking onions...

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#39 Edited by ZmillA (2416 posts) -

raw onion, cooked I can deal with. But its not really a deal breaker because I'll just take them off :)

Avatar image for dork_metamorphosis
#40 Posted by Dork_Metamorphosis (257 posts) -

What kind of freak doesn't want pickles or tomatoes?  Die monster!  You don't belong in this world.  

Avatar image for skytylz
#41 Posted by Skytylz (4137 posts) -
@addictedtopinescent said:
" I order everthing i can on my burgers usually... "
i'm in the same boat.
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#42 Posted by ThePickle (4370 posts) -

I'm am definitely anti-pickle on my hambogs.  

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#43 Posted by Alex_Murphy (1195 posts) -

I don't eat mushrooms or any other kinds of fungus.

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#44 Posted by TheUnsavedHero (1308 posts) -

Mayo for me.

Avatar image for dork_metamorphosis
#45 Posted by Dork_Metamorphosis (257 posts) -

Finest essence of burger:  
 
half ground sirloin, half lamb 
mayo spread on bun 
fresh ground pepper on mayo 
ripe tomato slice with salt 
 
hoily shit

Avatar image for inevpatoria
#46 Posted by inevpatoria (7092 posts) -

Maybe it's because I don't really eat tomatoes, but I feel a tomato on a hamburger totally steals all the taste away from the other ingredients. It's too dominant a taste, I think, and it doesn't complement the tastes of any of the other ingredients.  
 
Also: Mayonnaise isn't a dealbreaker, per se, but it kind of makes things weird. Just a weird funk about mayo on a burger. 

Avatar image for dork_metamorphosis
#47 Posted by Dork_Metamorphosis (257 posts) -
@Sir_Ragnarok:  I'm completely gay for tomatoes and really can't understand why anybody doesn't like them.  I recognize that many people don't but I do not get it. 
Avatar image for illmatic
#48 Posted by Illmatic (1380 posts) -

Wet bread.

Avatar image for inevpatoria
#49 Posted by inevpatoria (7092 posts) -
@Dork_Metamorphosis said:
" @Sir_Ragnarok:  I'm completely gay for tomatoes and really can't understand why anybody doesn't like them.  I recognize that many people don't but I do not get it.  "
For me, it's totally dependent on the tomato context. Haha, you know? Salsa--yes. Pico de gallo--absolutely. Ketchup--if there's also mustard involved, then sure. I even like diced tomatoes on things like omelets and such. But tomato slices just give me the willies. Something about the consistency, partly. I guess I go in expecting something crunchy-ish like a pepper. But the taste is so strong to my senses that I'm always sent into this semi-gag reflex.  
 
Don't know, man. Tomatoes are weird. 
Avatar image for dork_metamorphosis
#50 Posted by Dork_Metamorphosis (257 posts) -
@Sir_Ragnarok: It's cool man.  I will straight up eat a raw tomato like an apple and maybe that's genetic.  Burgers can still be awesome even without them.  

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