Bonjour mes amis, and welcome to this little feature I threw together to celebrate finally getting my gloved hands on what might be Giant Bomb's 2016 GOTY, IO Interactive's Hitman: No Subtitle (It Was Assassinated). I only have the intro pack currently, though I'm enjoying the game enough that I might start picking up the other episodes whenever there's a sale on, or if they hugely discount the whole thing to promote Season 2.
What surprised me about Hitman, as a total series neophyte who only had vague ideas of what to expect, is how much the game relies on classic adventure game puzzles and timing, rather than something more stealth-based and action-y. Those are still prevalent elements, for sure, but if you're playing the game "properly" (like Dark Souls, the game is built in such a way that no ideal solution ever presents itself) there's not a whole lot of sneaking around and dodging behind enemy patrols that needs to be done. Generally speaking, there's almost always an easy-to-get disguise that will allow you free reign of any given region in a level, and you're better served going that route than relying on the game's deliberately inscrutable spin on the usual guard sensory cones and the like. Combat's also a no-go: almost everyone's armed, and you die relatively quickly once you've been made and the goons start showing up in larger numbers. Instead, the gameplay prioritizes spending the time to set-up and execute the perfect murder and cheerfully eluding blame as you make an unhurried exit from the crime scene. Coin toss distractions and sneak attacks from behind have been my go-to, since I'm an impatient sort, but there really is a breadth of options available for imaginative manslaughter, many of which can be viewed in the game's own "collectible" menu of opportunities, discoveries and assassination methods scattered across each level.
Yet, the game only gives you sensible choices to make with these challenges. To find some of the truly creative methods, which is to say the insane ones that would never work, you either have to look to the game's multiplayer aspect or take matters into your own hands. The multiplayer aspect, the Contracts, operate like a game of "H.O.R.S.E.": a player runs around the level, marking and murdering various targets in various disguises in various ways, and then uploads that chain for others to try. You can make it really difficult on yourself, and subsequently those following in your footsteps, by going for the most ridiculous and loud kills imaginable. I'm still a little too wet behind the ears to dig too deep into this mode - I had a heck of a time just figuring out how to take down this week's Elusive Target, which might be another topic for this feature to cover if I continue it - but I've been picking up little clues and notions about these levels that I'm curious to try out.
The Showstopper
Paris, the game's first episode, tasks Agent 47 with eliminating two targets: Viktor Novikov and Dalia Margolis. The duo cooperatively run a spy ring collecting information on the rich and powerful by using attractive fashion models to honeypot their way into positions of trust where they might glean a gem or two, which I believe is also the plot of Zoolander. (It has been a while since I saw that movie, though.) The former target is schmoozing downstairs with fashion icons, the press and a few incognito government contacts, while the latter target is upstairs monitoring an auction of state secrets with a group of insidious global movers-and-shakers. Because they spend almost the entire time separated, barring a security lockdown spurred on by something loud and dumb you just did, the various opportunities and challenges generally only involve one or the other with few exceptions.
Because this was my first proper episode, I've spent quite a bit of time casing the joint and following the built-in opportunities each level provides, which act as guided tours for the level's quirks and geography. These have been instrumental in my understanding of the mansion's layout, the location of various important items like the master key that unlocks every door and the IAGO invitation that allows me to skip straight to the third floor without needing a disguise. It's also introduced me to a rogue's gallery of bit-players: the blogger who is trying to get an interview with Novikov, Novikov's contact from the Russian national security agency FSB, Dalia's accident-prone assistant Hailey, the reclusive Sheikh al-Ghazali whose wealth is matched only by his fondness for shimmying around window ledges, the delicate head fashion designer Sebastian Sato, and - I'd say inimitable if it wasn't so easy to imitate him - Helmut Kruger, the trashy gothic fashion idol with whom Agent 47 shares a certain bald likeness. These guys are like the characters in any adventure game: they can be window dressing that adds flavor to the narrative, or they can end up being actively if obliviously involved in your schemes.
Here's a few of my favorite ways I've completed the Paris mission:
- One of the big set-piece murders involves dropping the entire catwalk's lighting rig on Novokov as he strides out to make an ingratiatory speech to the collected fashionistas in the audience. It's pretty much the least subtle way to complete the level, short of sticking a mine on a propane tank and rolling it into a pack of NPCs like they were the shark from Jaws. It's an opportunity that requires a great deal of prep too: you need to overhear the security goons talking about how unsafe the lighting is, you need to remove Sato from the event (you can just spike his drink with rat poison and be his emesis nemesis) so Novikov is forced to appear in his stead, and then you need to find a crowbar and to physically climb up there to get the ball rolling. Worth it though.
- I booby-trapped the blogger's camera and exploded it outside the entrance to the mansion mid-interview with Novikov. I was the Sheikh at the time. Just prior to that, I won the secret auction as the Sheikh (I assume I stole his tablet) and was congratulated by Dalia in her office. I didn't let her finish her effusive piece, though, as I had better things to do and just dropped a chandelier on her head. This mansion has a real problem with insecure light fixtures.
- I poisoned Novikov twice, since I had both poisons on me. That opportunity involves mixing up his favorite cocktail, which requires a quick scout around in the basement. There's a few documents like that lying around which become necessary for some plans to work, and the game helpfully tracks them for you in the "intel" screen (though unless you're using the guided opportunity tracker, you still have to find them again). I first tried the cyanide I was given by Dalia while disguised as Kruger, since all of IAGO's "agents" are given some, and he dropped dead mid-schmooze. The second time, I gave him an emetic and followed him to the bathroom, whereupon I drowned him in his own vomit. It's a delightful game.
- One of my favorites, if perhaps a little straightforward, involves setting off the duo's big fireworks show early and taking a vantage point where I can snipe them both as they come outside to investigate. The sniping controls aren't exactly ideal, but if there's assassinating to be done in a modern setting I'd better be able to Duke Togo that shit.
Here's a few discoveries I'd like to capitalize on at some point:
- There's a battleaxe in the cafeteria. I have no idea what it's doing there, and there's no way to conceal it, so I can only imagine that a weapon that size kept so far away from the two targets is meant to be an expert-level assassination tool. Challenge accepted.
- One challenge has you drop Dalia onto Viktor from high enough that they both perish. I noticed when I did the sniping mission that Dalia's third-floor balcony overlooks where Viktor walks out on the ground level. That sounds like it might be hilarious. And super efficient too, come to think of it.
- Another has you eliminate both of them simultaneously in their underground panic room. I suspect the best way to get them running is to either set off the fire alarm or use Novikov's bodyguard's phone to trigger an alert. Either way, it can't be difficult to complete that mission with them paired together, provided I can find and enter the panic room before they lock it up.
- I've killed Novikov and thrown him into the Seine before, but it didn't occur to me to cut out the middleman and just push him in when he's taking in the view. I'll have to rectify that, but I am concerned about any screaming drawing attention. The game has a great challenge-unlocking system where it won't actually force you to complete the whole mission for them to count. Rather, they stay unlocked even if you reload to an earlier save, and you merely have to complete the mission once to get all the score benefits.The first time I completed the Paris mission, I earned around twenty unlocked challenges and gained enough XP to be halfway to "mastering" the level because I kept reloading and trying different approaches. The game manages a fantastic balance of being simultaneously challenging and super lenient that I admire. Specifically, it does this by making the truly challenging gameplay completely optional, like the Elusive Targets and the Escalations (more on those in another update; gotta get better at them first).
- I kinda want to poison Dalia with the cyanide she gives you. I'd need to be Kruger for that, and getting his suit isn't as easy as the Giant Bomb boys make it seem. It's hard to choke him out and keep that body undetected if you don't want to kill the guy, since the security patrols are relentless. It would also require dressing up as a member of the auction staff to actually spike the drink, and because the auction and fashion show waiters have different colored waistcoats it's much harder to find the former.
- Two words: Vampire Magician. Found the suit once, already had a different opportunity underway and left it behind. Apparently the game has a whole bunch of magic trick-related assassinations unique to that costume, but I have no idea how you're supposed to pull them off while wearing the least conspicuous outfit imaginable. Could it be possible that the Vampire Magician can turn invisible...?
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