If Jeff Gerstmann walked into your house, what would you do?

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Avatar image for az123
#1 Posted by AZ123 (191 posts) -

I would probably say, "Whoa! Jeff Gerstmann!" and go up and give him a bro-hug. I probably would then order a pizza for us.

Avatar image for jimbo
#2 Posted by Jimbo (10472 posts) -

Tell him to be more careful.

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#3 Edited by TheMustacheHero (6649 posts) -

I would probably be like, Use the door.

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#4 Posted by Out_On_Bail (1581 posts) -

I'd kick him the hell out for not knocking, then think about calling the cops.

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#5 Posted by clubsandwich (3965 posts) -

nothing because I wouldn't be at home, zing!

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#6 Posted by Two (62 posts) -

Challenge him to a friendly game of Blitz (whichever version he decides.)
 
TO THE DEATH.

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#7 Posted by Stang (4755 posts) -

Ask him how the fuck he managed to get in. Pepper spray might be involved.

Avatar image for buzz_clik
#8 Edited by buzz_clik (7470 posts) -

It depends on what I was in the middle of doing. If I was cooking dinner, I'd be friendly and set another place. If I was busy watching Young Buns 3, however...

Moderator
Avatar image for pie
#9 Posted by Pie (7309 posts) -

Remove pants

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#10 Posted by mikevanpwn (433 posts) -

I would show him this thread.

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#11 Posted by MattyFTM (14804 posts) -

I'd throw him out of the window, and go skateboarding down the street on his corpse, because I would instantly know it was a dream and decide to have some fun with it.

Moderator
Avatar image for demonbear
#12 Posted by demonbear (1934 posts) -

He'd probably be naked with NVGs on and it would bee by night, so I wouldn't see him. Stalkin' Jeff

Avatar image for mordukai
#13 Edited by mordukai (8480 posts) -

I would ask him how much do I owe him for the pizzas... Insert Rimshot Here...JK.
In all seriousness I would ask him WTF is he doing in this crappy town.

Online
Avatar image for al3xand3r
#14 Edited by Al3xand3r (7912 posts) -

0:44, and also 1:07

Avatar image for mowgers
#15 Posted by Mowgers (424 posts) -

Ask him how much he gets paid so he can fly all the way from the West Coast to England to perform random home invasions on a whim. I guess then he'd see I don't own a copy of SF4, or KOF, or MK or anything like that and probably leave. I'm British, so naturally I'd be honour bound to offer him a cup of tea regardless.

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#16 Posted by Metal_Mills (3438 posts) -

Force him to watch all 3 extended Lord of the Rings seeing as he has never seen them.

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#17 Posted by gingertastic_10 (4314 posts) -

Ask him why the fuck he was in Indiana. And then probably pass out.

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#18 Posted by Teptom (2074 posts) -

Wonder how drunk he has to be to end up in Indiana and at my front door.

Avatar image for cooldrmoney
#19 Edited by CoolDrMoney (2018 posts) -

I'd probably play some Rock Band with him, maybe put in a round of NFL Blitz to test my skills against the legend, and then drive him over to Cambridge and drop him off at Harmonix so Alex can pick him up.

Avatar image for kaido
#20 Posted by Kaido (262 posts) -

Rape.

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#21 Posted by jonsnow007 (92 posts) -
@Kaido said:
" Rape. "
Yep, there will be some sex involved that's for sure and I would prefer that he didn't play nice.
Avatar image for kuroxai
#22 Posted by KuroXai (93 posts) -

*Gasp*

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#23 Posted by NukeSpoon (584 posts) -

Offer him a cup of tea.

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#24 Edited by Sharpshooter (913 posts) -

I'd check him for head injuries and ask him if he saw the faces of the people who knocked him out and dropped him off in Ballyfermot (thats in Dublin, Ireland in case you don't know)

Avatar image for jnerd
#25 Edited by jNerd (2194 posts) -

Grab two shot-glasses, my mason jar full of blueberry moonshine & light up a blunt. 
Then ask what game he wanted to get down on.
I'd probably ask for a few matches of Marvel vs Capcom 2 tbh.

Avatar image for deadman
#26 Posted by DeadMan (153 posts) -

He would probably be dead, theres plenty of guns in my house so I would suggest knocking on the door first.

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#27 Posted by iAmJohn (6232 posts) -

Say "dude, why are you in my house?"

Avatar image for matthew
#28 Posted by Matthew (2151 posts) -

Immediatly take him to the greasiest burger joint in town (Awful Awful), then head to the Japanese food market and get some crazy beverages, then have a rap off in the back yard with the whole of the city watching and waiting to see how the fate of RENO is decided.......

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#29 Posted by DreDavis (46 posts) -

Well, I would probably run for my life.

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#30 Posted by CitizenJP (1393 posts) -

Throw him a sword and challenge him to a duel.

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#31 Posted by Mikl (167 posts) -

Ok I was fine with the best laugh thread but this is seriously getting creepy
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#32 Posted by zyn (2765 posts) -

I would say, "Dude, you okay?  This is the UK and, err... wait, it's been a long trip.  I'll get you a beer!"

Avatar image for demo
#33 Edited by Demo (272 posts) -

Tickle him.
 
Then fill the bathtub with videogamey stuff to rub on our naked bodies.

Avatar image for arclightborealis
#34 Posted by ArclightBorealis (1722 posts) -

Well, first I'd get him a coat, because obviously he'd be freezing up here (well, not right now, but in a few months it will).  
Then I'd show him what little games I own and then we'd both buy some to help increase my library, play some, get bored, and then he'd leave. 
 
Unless of course, he brought his own stuff games and all, otherwise, yeah I'd let him in.

Avatar image for ginger_avenger
#35 Posted by Ginger_Avenger (204 posts) -

Jump in his arms Scooby Doo Style, and then go and get us some sparkling wine.

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#36 Posted by ch13696 (4760 posts) -

Tell him that the homeless shelter is just around the corner.

Avatar image for doubt
#37 Posted by Doubt (340 posts) -

Suplex him

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#38 Posted by bshirk (481 posts) -

Challenge him to a freestyle rap battle.

Avatar image for demo
#39 Posted by Demo (272 posts) -
@Ginger_Avenger said:
" Jump in his arms Scooby Doo Style, and then go and get us some sparkling wine. "
That wins my friend.
+
Avatar image for archscabby
#40 Posted by ArchScabby (5877 posts) -

take off my pants.

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#41 Posted by CL60 (17117 posts) -

Say hello.

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#42 Posted by Djstyles92 (967 posts) -

take my pants off and get some pancakes and syrupp

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#43 Posted by Cerza (1678 posts) -

I'd give him a handshake and get him a beer.

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#44 Posted by Karn (714 posts) -

I'll scream "WAIT YOUR TURN" and tell him to get out.

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#45 Posted by TheGremp (2082 posts) -

I would say, "Dude, YES."

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#46 Posted by lilarchie232 (746 posts) -

"NEVER"

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#47 Posted by Th3_James (2613 posts) -

i would say hey, then offer him a cold beverage or a tasty snack....i pride myself on being a good hostess

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#48 Posted by Gargantuan (1905 posts) -

I'd ask him what he's doing in a small village in northern Sweden and then give him some Djungelvrål.

Avatar image for death_unicorn
#49 Posted by Death_Unicorn (2878 posts) -

Orgasm.

Avatar image for riotbananas
#50 Posted by RiotBananas (3822 posts) -

He probably bashed his head on the wall/door/window so I'd give him a plaster, then be all like NOWAY YOU'RE FAMOUS...
 
See if he wanted to play some Kane and Lynch or something...

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