Weapons-Grade Gears Gear

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Avatar image for ryan
Posted by Ryan (2278 posts) -
What freaks me out is how field-ready this thing looks.
What freaks me out is how field-ready this thing looks.
Here's a sterling example of the hoary old adage about life imitating abject awesomeness. Aside from alpha-male behavior laced with homoerotic overtones, nothing sums up Gears of War's blunt-force attitude like the Lancer. Seriously, is there anything ass-kickier than a wicked machine gun with a friggin' chainsaw strapped on the front? As you can tell from this video that CrunchGear dug up, it's even better in real life. We're not talking about some kind of fancy Nerf gun you'd keep in the bottom drawer of your desk, but an actual AR-15 with a functioning chainsaw blade bolted on the front, undoubtedly by a man whose deep commitment to being an unmitigated bad-ass makes my life look like a 24/7 stuffed-animal tea party. Pass me a razzleberry cupcake, Mr. Bearingsworth!

Check out the video for yourself to see some pumpkins get treated like the skulls of some feeble Locust grunts, and don't try to deny the fact that you too would cackle like a madman if you saw this in person.

  
Staff
Avatar image for ryan
#1 Posted by Ryan (2278 posts) -
What freaks me out is how field-ready this thing looks.
What freaks me out is how field-ready this thing looks.
Here's a sterling example of the hoary old adage about life imitating abject awesomeness. Aside from alpha-male behavior laced with homoerotic overtones, nothing sums up Gears of War's blunt-force attitude like the Lancer. Seriously, is there anything ass-kickier than a wicked machine gun with a friggin' chainsaw strapped on the front? As you can tell from this video that CrunchGear dug up, it's even better in real life. We're not talking about some kind of fancy Nerf gun you'd keep in the bottom drawer of your desk, but an actual AR-15 with a functioning chainsaw blade bolted on the front, undoubtedly by a man whose deep commitment to being an unmitigated bad-ass makes my life look like a 24/7 stuffed-animal tea party. Pass me a razzleberry cupcake, Mr. Bearingsworth!

Check out the video for yourself to see some pumpkins get treated like the skulls of some feeble Locust grunts, and don't try to deny the fact that you too would cackle like a madman if you saw this in person.

  
Staff
Avatar image for kimfidler
#2 Posted by KimFidler (420 posts) -

I would like to do lunch with this gentleman.

Avatar image for bass
#3 Posted by Bass (707 posts) -

that's a little frightening.

Avatar image for daniel_beck_90
#4 Posted by daniel_beck_90 (3243 posts) -

that is what I call a traditional lancer

Avatar image for mrmuise
#5 Posted by MrMuise (231 posts) -

What kind of manly man puts the safety on? Real many men eat safe for breakfast and crap out danger for brunch.

Avatar image for rodneythepom
#6 Edited by RodneythePom (100 posts) -

Well at least if the commies ever invade, our backwoods militias are armed to the teeth.

Avatar image for aspiringandy
#7 Posted by AspiringAndy (337 posts) -

hahaha, whatta fanboy.

Avatar image for jeff
#8 Posted by Jeff (5599 posts) -

I love how his advancing-while-firing stance is super serious, but it all goes to hell when he tries to start up his silly chainsaw.

Staff
Avatar image for dualreaver
#9 Edited by DualReaver (3791 posts) -

How much are they, and where can I get one? I have some Koffings to kill.

Avatar image for cleverloginname
#10 Posted by CleverLoginName (679 posts) -

That'll be standard issue one day.

Avatar image for ewingsquadron
#11 Posted by ewingsquadron (51 posts) -

Is a modification like that even legal?

Avatar image for inevpatoria
#12 Posted by inevpatoria (7090 posts) -
Jeff said:
"It all goes to hell when he tries to start up his silly chainsaw."
That's what she said.
Avatar image for aaox
#13 Edited by Aaox (1713 posts) -

Okay... So someone took a CHAINSAW and attched it to a ASSAULT RIFLE. I only remember someone taking a Toys R Us 'Happy fun times chainsaw!' and a Nerf 'Foam shooting bullets!' gun. And That was pretty awesome. Drawback to this gun? (Aside from the fact that if you slip while you're holding it and manage to fall on it in such a way as to re-enact that clown's death in Dead Rising ) Where does the petrol go?

Avatar image for captain_fookup
#14 Posted by Captain_Fookup (1526 posts) -

It isn't a chainsaw unless it's a Stihl.

Avatar image for license_to_bill
#15 Posted by License_To_Bill (811 posts) -

Do want.

Avatar image for wright
#16 Edited by Wright (633 posts) -

He looks so playful when he goes to chainsaw those pumpkins. There's also a vid where he tries to cut down a tree which makes the chainsaw seem even more silly.

Avatar image for lebart
#17 Posted by LeBart (307 posts) -

I've lost all faith in humanity.

Avatar image for warofart
#18 Posted by artofwar420 (6905 posts) -

The laugh makes the video.

Avatar image for thephenomenal1
#19 Posted by ThePhenomenal1 (481 posts) -

don't fuck with that dude

Avatar image for i_am_lono
#20 Posted by I_am_Lono (226 posts) -

That video is a prime example of why inbreeding is illegal.

Avatar image for red
#21 Posted by Red (6146 posts) -

Dude, I'm surprised the government hasn't erased all data of this ever existing: they need some secret weapons.

Avatar image for vaiz
#22 Posted by vaiz (3065 posts) -

This is silly not just in form, but function. The chainsaw latched to the front would throw off the balance of the gun, especially lacking anything significant to grab on to, totally fucking your aim (As if it's not hard enough to get a good shot out of a rifle unless you're trained.). Secondly, the chainsaw is useless holding the gun as a gun, because there's no pressure downwards, you'd have to completely switch your hand positioning for it to do anything more than nick someone or slice off a finger at most.

The game Lancer is at least somewhat more plausible, thanks to it's more central positioning of the chainsaw and the 'in chansaw' grip.

Avatar image for vilhelmnielsen
#23 Posted by vilhelmnielsen (1770 posts) -

That'll teach them terrorists!

Avatar image for ahoodedfigure
#24 Posted by ahoodedfigure (4568 posts) -

Take that, pumpkins!

Personally, I'm not sure I'd want to be trying to start up my chainsaw when I wind up in melee, or leave it running so people know where I am.  That, and if I hit the dirt, break the chain, and it flies up into my face, gouging out my eye, I imagine that might sap my will to fight.

The halo kid bugged me more, though. This just seems like a fun stunt.

Personally, I'm all for tea parties!

Avatar image for kazona
#25 Posted by Kazona (3393 posts) -

Ok, so who wants to take a guess when we'll be seeing this thing on Discovery's Future Weapons?

Avatar image for prime20
#26 Posted by Prime20 (174 posts) -

Good old red neck ingenuity, gotta love it.

Avatar image for arsenal86
#27 Posted by Arsenal86 (152 posts) -

No fucking way that is imense why do the UK army not have that gun.

Avatar image for death_burnout
#28 Posted by Death_Burnout (3848 posts) -

Haha yeah it was all good till he starts up the saw.

I'm still actually scared of chainsaws, more so when they are pointed at me, so, i dont want to be at the other end of one of those, but i wouldnt feel bad if i was in front if him though...

Avatar image for imperiousrix
#29 Posted by ImperiousRix (3095 posts) -

I woulda liked for him to attempt to start it up and have it jam
Which would be proceeded by a hearty "AWWW C'MON!!!"

Avatar image for mann_uk
#30 Posted by Mann_uk (77 posts) -

true badass

Avatar image for scooper
#31 Posted by Scooper (7920 posts) -

You call that a gun? THIS is a gun!

  
Avatar image for zityz
#32 Posted by zityz (2366 posts) -

Well that makes the French 1700 ol' Musket with The Pike at the end look like a Red Rider BB gun with a plastic knife ductaped to the end. 

Avatar image for endogene
#33 Posted by Endogene (5183 posts) -

We actually have a member here on GB who did that also with a gun he owns, I dont recall his name but he did mention that when he uploaded some pics of it to a gun forum he was told that it was illigal to do with the type of gun he owned and that he better not post those pics around.

Avatar image for marcusfriendly
#34 Posted by marcusfriendly (117 posts) -

It looks scary.

Avatar image for mordeaniischaos
#35 Posted by MordeaniisChaos (5904 posts) -

"I love how his advancing-while-firing stance is super serious, but it all goes to hell when he tries to start up his silly chainsaw."
I think that was the point his child side kicked in. He looked giddy lol. PLus he looked pretty ungraceful just to begin with. I think he just wanted to chainsaw some damn pumpkins into oblivion.

Avatar image for binarydragon
#36 Posted by BinaryDragon (795 posts) -

That is a little bit Awesome.

I do wonder how long before some country actually makes a real lancer. Look at what happened with the Halo armour.

Avatar image for synazrael
#37 Posted by SynAzrael (44 posts) -

Only problem is that a real lancer would be unwieldy and awkward, I would guess.  Not the best for actual warfare against....not pumpkins.

Avatar image for charleslegrand
#38 Posted by Charleslegrand (197 posts) -

Well the woman watching sounds impressed!

Avatar image for kralle
#39 Posted by Kralle (114 posts) -

White trash lol

Avatar image for pibo47
#40 Posted by Pibo47 (3238 posts) -

OMFG THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!!! I NEED NOA!!!

Avatar image for sparky_buzzsaw
#41 Posted by sparky_buzzsaw (8016 posts) -

Holy crap!  Redneck ingenuity kicks ass!  Now if only someone would get around to building me a real Warthog, I'd be a happy camper!

Avatar image for wait
#42 Posted by wait (61 posts) -

way to let the airborne to figure out a way to strap a chainsaw to a civilian hk417

Avatar image for drakulla
#43 Posted by Drakulla (17 posts) -

This guy has wayyy tooo much time on his hands. Can you say psycho chainsaw murdering sniper.

Avatar image for farmer
#44 Posted by farmer (342 posts) -

Promote that man!

Avatar image for irishjohn
#45 Posted by Irishjohn (623 posts) -

That is creepy.

Avatar image for deanjparker
#46 Posted by DeanJParker (69 posts) -

I cant say what I want to.... so I'll say nothing

Avatar image for twoonefive
#47 Posted by TwoOneFive (9786 posts) -

i would carry that around like when Homer got that gun and was using it to turn on tv and the light switch!

Avatar image for taintedsun
#48 Posted by TaintedSun (155 posts) -

Wow, way to take what could have been an awesome video and make it suck.

Avatar image for jonnyp
#49 Posted by jonnyp (225 posts) -

What's sad is that guy chose to build that ridiculous weapon instead of feed his 17 kids..


Wait a second, thank you darwinism!
Avatar image for lamegame621
#50 Posted by lamegame621 (1000 posts) -

amazing.

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