Diana Allers is the worst.

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#1 Edited by KevinK (217 posts) -

When I played through ME3 back when it came out, I didn't let Allers on the ship. She seemed like only to be there for an extra character to bang. I had a thing with Ashley, and for roleplaying purposes, I don't think Shepard would let her on the ship. 
 
So, with some DLC out, and Brad talking about ME3, I've decided to play through it again. To see more stuff I missed, I'm letting spunky reporter on the ship.  
 
So, is there any point to her character? She's a complete dolt, devoid of anything interesting to say and completely obnoxious. She isn't even likable. From what I hear, the culmination of her romance subplot isn't even that interesting.  
 
I don't need her 5 War Assets and I really want to kick her off the Normandy. Although, I may just keep her around to see if she redeems herself. If not, maybe I can get Garrus to stuff her ass into the torpedo tube and we can shoot her at the Reapers.

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#2 Posted by Carousel (421 posts) -

There is no point to her character.

She adds nothing but a handful of short, pointless conversations.

And you can romance her if you want.

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#3 Edited by wjb (1905 posts) -

She is someone extra to talk to in-between missions. There's a brief moment when she is in an argument with a nameless/faceless crew member, and you can pick a side like some eavesdropping asshole, but it's insignificant.

She's just one more goddamned person to fall in love with you (like Shepard needed another one), but I rejected her. She did the ol' "Oh, I wasn't really interested in you. You misunderstood; you should get over yourself, pal."

Also, the way they mapped Chobot's face was unfortunate, and her Beijing Olympics-like swimsuit was dumb and awkward as hell.

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#4 Edited by Akyho (2120 posts) -

I donno. Alot of people might share the sentiment for the person who's likeness and voice is Diana.

You know what.....typing in Jessica Chobot into google images might be considered a not safe for work search.

If you dont know Diana Allers is voiced and likeness based off of IGN's Jessica Chobot.

No Caption Provided

I dont know who they outsourced her ingame model to, cos man out of all characters in ME3 hers is weird. Like it came from another game. Its as if someone wanted to put her in Garrys mod and instead they put it in ME3. Unsurprisingly there is nude patches.....

I feel like she equivalent to bad DLC. Except its a bad choice permanently fused to the game.

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#5 Posted by Sackmanjones (5509 posts) -

She doesn't have a big impact in anything but I don't did her offensive or anything. Just another person to talk too

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#6 Posted by Sackmanjones (5509 posts) -
@Sackmanjones
She doesn't have a big impact in anything but I don't did her offensive or anything. Just another person to talk too
Wow fuck auto correct.
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#7 Edited by AndrewB (7814 posts) -

@KevinK said:

Although, I may just keep her around to see if she redeems herself. If not, maybe I can get Garrus to stuff her ass into the torpedo tube and we can shoot her at the Reapers.

Can I save you some trouble without using a spoiler tag? She's useless unless you want a meaningless romance. If I had access to multiplayer on the 360 without paying Microsoft for the privilege I'd have kicked her off or never picked her up at all and given up on those war assets (both of them). Not only do I loathe the tie-in with IGN, but (without trying to place judgement on the overall acting talent of Chobot - keep wanting to call the "Chobit") the voice acting is just gratingly bad. Like nails on a chalkboard. And to top it off, the model just looks all kinds of creepy.

All this talk about the Mass Effect 3 ending had overshadowed the real atrocity, for sure.

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#8 Posted by solidwolf52 (368 posts) -

She's insignificant in the grand scheme of things. The fact they chose Chobot was kinda odd, but i don't think any of the characters short comings were her fault. The model was poorly done especially considering how well they were able to map the face of Miranda or Male Shepard. And her writing was kinda shit. The character was weirdly placed, more should have been done with her, or less should have. Her presence is enough to not be in-significant, but its not big enough to have a dramatic impact on the game's story.

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#9 Posted by Mr_Skeleton (5195 posts) -

This thread is like a time machine to 9 months ago. Anyway you can kick her off the ship at any point so it doesn't matter.

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#10 Edited by KevinK (217 posts) -

I didn't know Allers was based on Chobot. That makes it 100x times worse. 
  
I do agree that her writing is terrible, but I don't think Chobot does it any favors. Her voice acting is terrible. Allers inherits Chobot's IGN spunkiness and it seems out of place for a war reporter covering a war where basically millions of people are being abducted and killed by the minute. 
 
I mean, the people on the Citadel in the game are ignorant of the war too, but at least they're not being exposed too it. I assume that by being on the Normandy, Allers would hear stories about what Shepard and company are seeing on their adventures and it would kill her mood. "Up next on BattleZone, who has better color-coordinated armor? The turians or the krogans? Stay tuned to find out!" 
 
Now that I think about it though, I wonder if she wasn't included just to include Chobot as a big tongue-in-cheek nod to gamers. Because Chobot = IGN = videogames.

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#11 Posted by Demoskinos (17325 posts) -

No character can be worse than Tiny Tina

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#12 Posted by The_Nubster (3153 posts) -

@Demoskinos said:

No character can be worse than Tiny Tina

I like you.

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#13 Posted by solidwolf52 (368 posts) -

@Demoskinos: Hate her so much. Don't understand how people find her funny.

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#14 Posted by Draugen (901 posts) -

The reason I didn't like her is that if you need a reporter on board, I'd much rather see Emily Wong or Khalisa al-Jilani in that role.

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#15 Posted by ImmortalSaiyan (4748 posts) -

Character of the year. Forget Kenny.

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#16 Posted by Zippedbinders (1179 posts) -

@Demoskinos said:

No character can be worse than Tiny Tina

No opinion can be worse than opinion.

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#17 Posted by Carousel (421 posts) -

@Zippedbinders said:

@Demoskinos said:

No character can be worse than Tiny Tina

No opinion can be worse than opinion.

Only people who watch little girl cartoons like Tiny Tina.

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#18 Posted by Zippedbinders (1179 posts) -

@CaptStickybeard said:

@Zippedbinders said:

@Demoskinos said:

No character can be worse than Tiny Tina

No opinion can be worse than opinion.

Only people who watch little girl cartoons like Tiny Tina.

Obviously.

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#19 Posted by pr1mus (4158 posts) -

Her character could be replaced by a window that pops up out of no where and ask you if you want 5 war assets or not.

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#20 Posted by Apathylad (3234 posts) -

I'd still like to hear what motivated the decision to include her in the game. CheapyD being in Saint's Row worked since that game is already bananas, but Mass Effect takes itself very seriously.

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#21 Posted by AndrewB (7814 posts) -

@Apathylad said:

I'd still like to hear what motivated the decision to include her in the game. CheapyD being in Saint's Row worked since that game is already bananas, but Mass Effect takes itself very seriously.

Now all I want to see is Diana Allers in Saints Row 3.

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#22 Posted by MiniPato (2820 posts) -

The worst part of her character is her outfit. It just feels like cheap, weird fanservice for nobody.

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#23 Posted by Dethfish (3809 posts) -

I've played through the game almost 3 times now and I bring her on the ship every time, because I want every war asset I can get and every dialogue option ever, but I still hate her. She's kind of creepy looking for some reason and the voice acting is pretty awful. Then at one point she tries flirting with Shepard. Gross.

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#24 Posted by KevinK (217 posts) -

So, I did some Googling and I guess they don't even show her having sex with Shepard. 
 
I guess because it's basically Jessica Chobot (voice, face and body) that they don't want gamers "taking delight" and watching Mass Effect Jessica Chobot getting with male Shepard or female Shepard. 
 
That makes the whole thing more pointless. 
 
I wish they did show it, just so I could see the inevitable YouTube machinima where Allers has sex with a Volus.

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#25 Posted by Colourful_Hippie (5710 posts) -

@Pr1mus said:

Her character could be replaced by a window that pops up out of no where and ask you if you want 5 war assets or not.

This sounds better.

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#26 Posted by smcn (949 posts) -

@wjb said:

She is someone extra to talk to in-between missions. There's a brief moment when she is in an argument with a nameless/faceless crew member, and you can pick a side like some eavesdropping asshole, but it's insignificant.

That's Ensign Copeland, yeoman. He also shows up in the lounge talking to Garrus and Javik about Banshees after the Ardat-Yakshi monastery. He's kind of a puss.

At any rate, I'm pretty much indifferent about Allers, I didn't know she was "somebody" until after I finished the game, and she's still not worse than "Stargazer". Also she's completely optional. This thread is pointless.

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#27 Posted by FilipHolm (689 posts) -

Oh man I forgot all about her, what on earth did she even bring to the game? xD

Boobies I guess

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#28 Posted by KevinK (217 posts) -
@smcn said:

At any rate, I'm pretty much indifferent about Allers, I didn't know she was "somebody" until after I finished the game, and she's still not worse than "Stargazer". Also she's completely optional. This thread is pointless.

Reading this thread is also optional. So, I guess that makes you pointless.
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#29 Posted by mandude (2827 posts) -

@Akyho: I know. It's like they went straight to the uncanny valley. I had to deny her entry because her grotesque appearance was too unnerving.

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#30 Posted by smcn (949 posts) -

@KevinK said:

@smcn said:

At any rate, I'm pretty much indifferent about Allers, I didn't know she was "somebody" until after I finished the game, and she's still not worse than "Stargazer". Also she's completely optional. This thread is pointless.

Reading this thread is also optional. So, I guess that makes you pointless.
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#31 Posted by dudeglove (12575 posts) -

@solidwolf52 said:

@Demoskinos: Hate her so much. Don't understand how people find her funny.

She's the sister of the writer, who's a complete douche to begin with, so there's your answer.

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#32 Posted by Eaxis (1138 posts) -

GB GOTY category, worst character or something along the lines of that.

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#33 Posted by vikingdeath1 (1210 posts) -

I dislike her greatly........... But dammit i need all the Galactic Readiness I can get!

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#34 Posted by RollingZeppelin (2429 posts) -

@KevinK said:

If not, maybe I can get Garrus to stuff her ass into the torpedo tube and we can shoot her at the Reapers.

I read this backwards at first, I like it better that way.

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#35 Posted by TheSouthernDandy (4107 posts) -

I'm playing the game for the first time and she seems completely inoffensive. Yeah she doesn't really add anything but...boot her off the ship then? She does a few interviews, you can romance her. I dunno what's so upsetting about her.

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#36 Posted by boj4ngles (302 posts) -

Tasteless, pointless, infamous, a waste of programmer resources.

Yes this has all been said before but it bears saying again. ME3 is a notorious flop because the writers lost all inspiration and standards and Diana Allers is jut one example. They put Jessica Chobot in the game so that the player can bang her. It is at once an un-serious, raunchy inside joke and validation of the "stereotypical male gamer". Bioware and Chobot should have had the balls to just let her play herself. She could have been teleported to the Mass Effect universe via a rift in the space time continuum. Or maybe she divided by zero and suddenly appeared in a video game. Or something. It would make more sense than ME3's "ending".

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#37 Posted by huser (1397 posts) -

@Draugen said:

The reason I didn't like her is that if you need a reporter on board, I'd much rather see Emily Wong or Khalisa al-Jilani in that role.

Unfortunately it appears Emily Wong got taken out fairly early in the invasion, details of which were presented in the Alliance News twitter feed.

http://masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Alliance_News_Network/SolComms

It's actually kind of cool.

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#38 Posted by Levius (1357 posts) -

The saddest part is a intelligently written war reporter who calls Shepard out on some of the decisions you make in the game would have been really interesting. As it was, she only really exists as they needed a new female character for male Shepard to romance, I think she was the only new female romantic partner for him in the game.

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#39 Posted by Tru3_Blu3 (3553 posts) -

Can we just agree that ME3 is a joke and get on with out lives?

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#40 Edited by boj4ngles (302 posts) -

@Tru3_Blu3 said:

Can we just agree that ME3 is a joke and get on with out lives?

We must NEVAR FORGET

Edit: Seriously though, people will still be complaining about ME3 until Dragon Age 3 comes out. If it's good, then I for one will be happy to turn the page on this dark chapter in Bioware's history. And if it sucks, well then I will probably just give up on them.

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#41 Posted by Mystyr_E (1456 posts) -

I still don't get how they can turn Jessica Chobot, who's actually attractive, into something that makes me think of Snooki. And that's a super boner killer right there

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#42 Posted by Red (6146 posts) -

I played through all three Mass Effects as a saint. I found the best possible solution to every single possible situation, and played the best Paragon Shepard I could play as.

But when Diana Allers showed up, I told her "no".

Yeah, she is complete garbage, and, as has been mentioned earlier, a huge waste of potential for an interesting war reporter who calls Shepard out on his crap. But it's optional.

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#43 Posted by JasonR86 (10178 posts) -

@KevinK: You're a little late dude. Plus she doesn't have enough of a character to get upset about.

Avatar image for tru3_blu3
#44 Posted by Tru3_Blu3 (3553 posts) -

@boj4ngles said:

@Tru3_Blu3 said:

Can we just agree that ME3 is a joke and get on with out lives?

We must NEVAR FORGET

Edit: Seriously though, people will still be complaining about ME3 until Dragon Age 3 comes out. If it's good, then I for one will be happy to turn the page on this dark chapter in Bioware's history. And if it sucks, well then I will probably just give up on them.

Loading Video...
Avatar image for theht
#45 Posted by TheHT (14303 posts) -

@Tru3_Blu3 said:

@boj4ngles said:

@Tru3_Blu3 said:

Can we just agree that ME3 is a joke and get on with out lives?

We must NEVAR FORGET

Edit: Seriously though, people will still be complaining about ME3 until Dragon Age 3 comes out. If it's good, then I for one will be happy to turn the page on this dark chapter in Bioware's history. And if it sucks, well then I will probably just give up on them.

Loading Video...

BITCHES LOVE MY TRACTOR

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#46 Posted by Gamer_152 (14479 posts) -

She was a pretty unremarkable character, but I didn't find her offensively bad. I've been surprised by how strongly some objected to her.

Moderator
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#47 Posted by L44 (638 posts) -

Ashley was worse.

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#48 Posted by moffattron9000 (393 posts) -

@Tru3_Blu3: THANK YOU

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#49 Posted by Funkydupe (3613 posts) -

She's pretty.

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#50 Posted by kadayi (191 posts) -

I have nothing against the woman, but the character was risible and kind of unnecessary. It would of made more sense to have installed Emily Wong on board the ship if they wanted a reporter as she was an established character, however for some reason Bioware thought it would be far better to kill her off in some twitter campaign: -

https://twitter.com/AllianceNewsNet/status/176874800814370819

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