If you're one of those staunchly stingy European types who out and out refuses to buy any new technology until it's gone through a minimum of four hardware revisions, has stripped out arguably its most useful feature, and dropped to a price that effectively says "seriously, just buy one of these goddamned things," then has Sony ever got a piece of news for you.
Inexplicably dropped as an addendum to Sony's PlayStation Vita portion of its Gamescom press conference, new Sony Computer Entertainment Europe head Jim Ryan chestily announced that a new piece of PSP hardware will be hitting stores in the near future. This new model will retail for 99 Euros (according to a statement from Sony, this model is only for Europe, with no American release planned), and will actually drop all wi-fi functionality from the hardware. Presumably, ad-hoc play will continue to exist, but any online connectivity will be dropped. Again, Sony has yet to specify the exact schematics of the device at this juncture.
So, there you go. Sit here and marvel at the fact that Sony pretty much just announced the PSP Go in reverse. Excitedly, even. Now excuse me, I have to return to deciphering why the hell there is a dance crew busting a move to wobble bassy electro tracks to ostensibly promote the PlayStation Move. It's just been that kind of press conference, people.